Summary: Oliver and Thea have found a new equilibrium following the events of "Secrets" and "Hold On". Unfortunately, the nature of secrets is to be fully revealed in time, and as Thea scrambles to pull together a case she is fighting against time itself. Trigger Warnings: sexual abuse, grooming, discussion of chronic illness and medical treatment. Sequel to "Hold On"
Queen sibling fic. Thea Queen, Oliver Queen, Laurel Lance, Felicity Smoak, John Diggle, Quentin Lance, Cindy "Sin" Simone, Barry Allen, Cisco Ramon, Caitlyn Snow, Donna Smoak. Cannon Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak. Trigger Warnings: sexual abuse, grooming, discussion of chronic illness and medical treatment
Author's Note: This is AU and follows an alternate timeline began in "Secrets". There is no William (I like William, but Oliver and Felicity hit troubled waters because of Oliver's lies surrounding William's existence, so we're not going there). Laurel is still alive and will remain so, because I love Laurel and her dynamic with Thea, Digg, and Oliver. As I have stated before, I hope this story emphasizes Thea's survivorship journey, but as such there will be non-graphic descriptions of sexual abuse and grooming, as well as exploration of chronic disease management. I do plan to update weekly!
DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor or medical professional. I am not offering medical advice. If you have concerns regarding treatment or medical advice, please consult with a physician.
Chapter 1: New Normal
Present Day – September 2, 2016
A figure lurked in the shadows, peering out as the occasional passerby walked past their hiding spot. Waiting … hunting.
A woman wearing bright blue heels clicked her way past, not even glancing towards where the figure loitered. This was the opportunity the hunter had waited for.
The figure – a man wearing dark clothing which blended into the evening autumn darkness – leapt out and wrapped a cord around the blue heeled woman's neck. She was startled and had no chance to fight back. The man began to drag her back to the shadows.
"You're going to want to let her go," a low, feminine voice stated.
The man looked up and saw the source of the voice. Deeper, into the alley, on the lowest level of a nearby fire escape posed the figure of a slight woman dressed in form-hugging maroon and black, the sparkling image of a set of scales imbedded onto her jacket's front. Over her shoulder was the glint of a sword hilt. A maroon mask rested over her eyes and a hood laid tight against her head. A pair of knee-high black boots adorned her feet.
Without realizing he had, the man released the pressure from his ligature on the blue-heeled woman's neck. A cold sweat emerged on his forehead. He had heard rumors – rumors of the lady vigilante stalking the Glades in the darkness. The blue-heeled woman took the opportunity granted by his distraction and pushed away, dropping to the ground.
The man turned, intending to flee from the commanding figure watching him from above. He hadn't made it more than a step when he felt something halt his momentum and yank his knees out from under him. He looked down in shock to see a whip retract from his leg. He flipped from resting on his knees to sitting on his bottom with his arms stretched behind him in a crab walk. He couldn't see the figure anymore. Suddenly, he felt a cold blade on his throat.
"Don't make a move, or it will be your last," the authoritative female voice directed calmly.
The man couldn't make a sound, stilled by terror.
"Does it make you feel powerful? Preying on women?" The voice questioned.
"N … no," he stuttered, panic lacing his denial.
"Well, make sure all your little pervert friends know that hunting season is over for them … and for Arae it's just begun."
"A … Arae?"
"A cursing spirit pursuing those who are guilty of death. Are you deserving of death Mr. …" the man realized that the woman had deftly removed his wallet from his pocket. "Dean?"
"N … no, please!"
"Hmm," the woman said, sounding unimpressed. "Your actions tell me otherwise. I would guess this is not the first time you have assaulted a woman in an alley." The man tried to shake his head to deny it, but the feel of the blade stayed his movement.
"Well," the voice said casually, "The police are on their way. I highly suggest being honest with them and taking your consequences like the man you have thus far failed to be. Because I assure you, I will watch with great interest whether you pay for your crime or find yourself back out on these streets. And if I do see you out here again, I will not be so kind."
The man felt the blade pull away from his neck and discovered when he tried to move that he had been cuffed to a fire escape. He could hear sirens approaching. When he looked up, the figure of the woman was gone. He did see a small figure with uncovered head crouched over by the blue-heeled woman talking to her. He looked back up and studied the nearby fire escapes, windows, and rooflines, but no hint of his attacker remained.
When Laurel Lance arrived home from work, she was instantly suspicious. She had the distinct feeling that the smell of freshly cooked dinner was a distraction from something else her roommate, Thea Queen, had planned. While she hated to ascribe ulterior motives to Thea's actions, out of the two of them, Thea rarely, if ever, prepared dinner. She was generous with her money and frequently ordered dinner for the two of them, but cooking?
Laurel took a deep breath and set her briefcase down by the door and walked into the kitchen.
"Thea? Are you cooking?"
The disbelief must have been apparent in her voice, because Thea scoffed as she stirred something that smelled surprisingly good on the stove. "I can cook," Thea defended.
"I am not about to get into that one," Laurel said smirking. "What do they say about looking a gift horse in the mouth?"
"You should definitely check to make sure there are no Greeks inside?"
"Thea, you rode horses growing up!" Laurel said in exasperation. "The expression is about real horses, not the Trojan horse." Thea looked at Laurel, completely lost. "You're supposed to be able to tell a horse's age by their teeth, and it's considered rude to question the age of the horse you have just been gifted. Just as I am choosing to enjoy the dinner I didn't have to cook without suspecting that you are up to something."
"Huh," Thea said, as if genuinely surprised she had misunderstood the old adage's meaning. She looked up quickly at the clock over the stove and then shoved a dish towel on the oven handle out of the way so she could peer into the oven. Standing back up, Thea said, "Sure. Well, you're not wrong, I did want to catch up with you on something."
That was fast, Laurel thought unhappily. "Oh no," Laurel said quickly, bracing herself for bad news.
"It's nothing bad," Thea said hurriedly, turning bright, persuasive eyes towards Laurel. "Honestly, I think it's good!"
"Thea," Laurel said warningly, well aware that Thea had a tendency to downplay bad news.
"Here," Thea said. "Help me get this on the table and then we'll talk." Laurel shook her head, but willingly washed up and helped Thea get cuts of pan-fried steak and oven-roasted vegetables plated and on the table. Once they were seated, before Laurel could demand what was going on, Thea asked pleasantly, "So, how's Josh?"
Laurel did her best not to blush like a teenager as she thought of her handsome, charming boyfriend. He was a sweet man who worked as a paralegal for a local, high-powered attorney who Laurel had clashed with in court multiple times recently. She hated to admit to anyone, even Thea, that she had trouble thinking about nearly anything else when Josh was around. She felt like she was in withdrawal when she wasn't with him and increasingly found herself either staying at his apartment or bringing him over to stay at hers.
"He's good," Laurel said casually, focusing on cutting into her steak so she didn't have to meet Thea's eyes. Laurel hated how well Thea could read her.
"Laurel," Thea chided, demanding the truth.
A smile split Laurel's face – god, what was happening to her? "He's … he's great, actually. I really like him, Thea."
Thea returned Laurel's smile. "I know – you've been acting a little love-struck lately!" Laurel blushed, embarrassed that she hadn't hid it better. Thea laughed, "Laurel, god, don't be embarrassed! I am so ridiculously happy for you. Josh seems really great." Thea raised her eyebrows, saying, "I mean, he captured the heart of Dinah Laurel Lance – that is something that no mere man can pull off!"
"It's not all that," Laurel tried to defend, doing her best to keep her grin away. "We're still just getting to know each other."
"Oh, absolutely. Just, 'getting to know each other'. Totally normal, not at all inseparable or itching to text him every second you're not with him." Thea said nodding, straight-faced. Laurel felt her cheeks heat up – was she that obvious?
Thea's tone shifted a little, from teasing to a little more serious. "I think it is so amazing how close you and Josh are getting," Thea reiterated. "And I've had a lot of changes recently too: my business is doing well and we've been super busy, and I've been reconnecting with friends." Laurel nodded, waiting for the bad news.
"Soo …" Thea said, "I signed a new lease. I've got my own place again!"
Laurel felt her throat go dry at the unexpected announcement. Her eyes were wide as she searched Thea's face.
Thea was either unaware of Laurel's emotional reaction or was intentionally pushing through. "It's actually really perfect – there was a unit available in the building above Queen's Jubilee. Talk about an easy commute to work!"
"You signed a lease for an apartment … in the Glades?" Laurel asked, shocked. Thea could kick some ass if needed, but she had trouble imagining that Thea's protective older brother Oliver would be okay with Thea living in the roughest part of their city. And Laurel immediately hated the idea of Thea living there alone – at least when Thea had lived in the Glades before, she had been living with her then-boyfriend Roy.
"It's not a bad spot, Laurel," Thea reassured, her eyes softening as she took in Laurel's concern. "I work there every day and I have never felt concerned for my safety."
Laurel shook her head. "That's because you're at work during the day, Thea!" Laurel exclaimed.
Thea rolled her eyes affectionately. "And do you think I can't take on anyone who wants to do me harm?" Thea's training by her biological father, Malcolm Merlyn, the former head of the League of Assassins, and her time as a member of Team Arrow had more than prepared her to hold her own against a potential threat.
Laurel sighed, "I know, but Thea, that's no reason to put yourself at risk!"
"Look, Laurel," Thea said reasonably. "I have tried so hard to make my business a part of the community to bring back the kind of jobs the neighborhood needs. My employees live in the Glades. My business associates live and work in the Glades. How can I talk about my belief in the future of the Glades if I'm not even really a part of the community?"
Laurel sighed. She appreciated Thea's heart for the city and knew she could keep herself safe. But the real problem was that Laurel wasn't ready to let Thea go. When Thea had surprised Laurel by asking to move in with her two years ago, she never could have imagine how close they would become or how much Thea would become a treasured friend and confidante. "Thea, you know you don't have to move out. I love having you here."
"I know," Thea said, her eyes large and sympathetic. "But I just think this is the next step for both of us. You are climbing the ranks in the District Attorney's office and getting serious with Josh. I'm spending nearly all my time in the Glades with my business and my friends. We're going in different directions: starting new lives."
"That's what I'm afraid of." Laurel admitted. "Thea, I don't want you to not be a part of my life anymore! It has been so much harder to be a part of each other's lives since we left Team Arrow. And that is while we're still living under the same roof!"
"I want to stay in your life too!" Thea agreed. "Look, we are both finding healthy ways to move on with our lives," Thea started, her eyes filled with sincerity. "But you and Ollie, and Felicity, and Digg – you are still my family."
"Thea," Laurel said emotionally.
"Look, we'll just get better at planning!" Thea insisted, trying to stay positive. "We'll plan meetups and grab lunch. Maybe we can have a cookout – I have access to the roof! … by the fire escape, but honestly, I have no concerns about this group getting up there."
Laurel studied Thea and was amazed at how grown up the almost twenty-two-year-old in front of her seemed. Her mature plans and settled appearance was unrecognizable from the angry seventeen-year-old that Laurel had reconnected with when Ollie returned from Lian Yu four years ago.
Laurel knew that she had to let go. Thea needed to live her own life and she was giving Laurel the space to live hers. "Okay. Okay, I hear you. And yes, we will see each other regularly, because not seeing you is not an option," Laurel said firmly, grabbing Thea's hand across the table earnestly. "And know that your room here will always be your room. You can always crash here whenever, for whatever reason."
Thea nodded with a grin. She turned back to take another bite of her dinner while Laurel continued to watch her contemplatively.
"Hey, Thea – do you ever regret retiring from Team Arrow?"
"Do you?" Thea asked. Laurel thought back to April when Damien Dahrk had escaped from prison with Malcolm Merlyn's help. Laurel had already been batting around the idea of leaving the vigilante life, but when she had been nearly killed by Dahrk, she knew it was the sign she had been waiting for. She had asked Ollie to find a new Black Canary and accept that she would remain in their lives – just not fighting by their sides.
Laurel would be lying if she said that she didn't miss it. Sometimes she felt herself getting pulled back in when Felicity or John would drop tidbits or ask for her help from the district attorney's office to track down a suspect. But altogether, Laurel felt like she had taken back her actual life. Laurel was certain that her relationship with Josh wouldn't be where it was now if she was still on Team Arrow and patrolling nearly every night of the week.
"Mostly no," Laurel said finally. Thea nodded in understanding. "How about you?" Laurel repeated.
Thea also seemed to take a moment to consider. "I miss how close we all were. But … so much happened to all of us. I think I was just ready to do some living."
Laurel studied Thea's face for a minute. "I really hope that's the case," Laurel said. "You do seem … different. Changed." Thea raised an eyebrow in question. Laurel gave a little smile in response. "You seem more stable. Older than twenty-one." Laurel shrugged. "I just hope that being on Team Arrow hasn't changed you too much."
Past - February 20, 2016 – 7 months ago
As soon as her feet hit the floor of the Bunker, Thea wrenched one arm out of her Speedy jacket and then fumbled with the belt buckle strapping the leather shirt sleeve together on the other arm. Once the buckle was loosed, Thea pulled her right arm out, dropping the jacket unnoticed while she gaped at the damage to her arm.
"Ahhh - " Thea cried out, more in consternation than in pain. "Shit!"
Felicity was already down the hub's ramp, wheeling towards Thea at top speed. "Thea!" She cried out. As she got near enough for her first glimpse, Felicity noted queasily, "Oh, that's a lot of blood."
"Stupid – I blocked his sword with my arm," Thea explained, disgusted with herself. Now that it wasn't held tight by the leather jacket, the wound had begun to pool with blood. Thea's heart nearly stopped with panic. She hurried over to the med table and wrenched out a box of medical supplies even as blood began to drip off of her arm onto the floor at an alarming rate. She grabbed a pile of gauze and quickly pressed the pieces into the lengthy, deep wound running along her arm.
"Oh, hey, should you be doing that?" Felicity asked, voice tinged with concern. "I think you need to clean it out … and I'm pretty sure you'll need stitches!"
Thea threw a few towels on the ground and quickly wiped up what blood she could, pushing them around with her foot. She could feel her pulse pound in her head as the effort just spread the mess around. She leaned over to grab the towels and as she stood up, saw bright lights in her vision while the world wobbled around her.
Oliver, Laurel, and Digg piled through the Bunker's elevator doors. Thea knew she had left the scene at top speed and frankly, it was a wonder that they all had made it back this quickly behind her.
"Thea!" Oliver called out, voice oozing with frustration. "You can't just stop responding and take off like that!" Clearly her lack of communication after she had been sliced had made her brother worry, but frankly, she wasn't sure she had the wherewithal at that moment to care.
"Yeah," Thea said in a dazed, unengaged tone.
Laurel said, "Oh, you're still bleeding, Thea!"
Thea looked down and saw Laurel was correct – the gauze she had packed on was completely soaked with bright red blood. Shit shit shit -
Oliver took a step towards Thea. "Hop up on the table. I can take a look."
"NO!" Thea cried out wildly, taking a step back from Oliver and bumping hard into the exam table.
"Thea," Oliver said, his voice frustrated. He took a step towards her. "That bleeding isn't going to stop on its own! You need stitches. Digg or I can -"
"Don't touch me!" Thea hollered, voice high with pure terror. "Get away!" Thea's heart raced. She couldn't let them touch her. She had to protect them. Her mind couldn't even form words of an explanation. How could she have let this happen?
Laurel put a hand on Oliver's shoulder, indicating that she would take over trying to talk with Thea. "Thea," Laurel said gently, raising her hands in a placating motion. "You're safe, okay? Wherever you think you are right now, you're not there. You're in the Bunker and we're all just here to help you."
Thea just shook her head back, not beginning to know how to get out of this. How could she keep them safe and keep her secret? Oh god, she was going to be sick.
Laurel was undeterred in her attempts to calm Thea. "Can you just hop up on the table? You can take all the time you need, but your brother is right – you need help."
"I don't need your help!" Thea snapped out. She turned back to the table and pulled out several more strips of gauze and piled them onto the newly bloodied ones. She fumbled around the box, not finding what she was looking for. Shit, she was getting blood everywhere. Everything would have to be thrown away … or burned.
"We're not trying to hurt you, Thea," Felicity said from the opposite direction as the other three. Thea looked up and locked eyes with her over the med table. Felicity looked scared out of her mind, her eyes bright with emotion. "You don't need to be afraid."
They were driving Thea crazy – she didn't need all of this drama right now. Not when she was actively spreading her blood over everything, putting everyone at risk.
Thea began to pull open drawers searching. Aha! Thea felt triumphant. A roll of duct tape! She quickly unwound the tape and then bit at a corner to start the strip tearing away from the roll. She slapped it over one end of the gauze to tack it down. Then she laid the end of the roll of tape on the other side of the gauze covered wound and began to wind the tape fully around her arm. It took only a minute to fully encase the area of her arm around the wound and Thea was pleased to find there was no further blood leaking out.
She was so busy admiring her handiwork that she didn't hear someone approach her until a hand dropped on her shoulder. Thea yelled in surprise and tried to jump out of the way, stumbling as she fell against the medical table.
Oliver pulled back, a guilty look on his face. "Sorry! Sorry," he said, hands raised showing he meant no harm.
Thea felt frustration bubble up again. None of her friends were helping the situation; but, at least her brain didn't feel like it was on fire anymore, now that she wasn't losing more blood throughout the Bunker. She shot her brother a look and then grabbed a nearby barrel trashcan. Thea began dumping everything she had dripped blood on into the trash. First, the remaining duct tape; next she dumped out the medical supplies box; then she chucked in the empty box. She bent a second time and scooped up the bloodied towels from the floor, tossing them into the can. She looked unhappily at her blood-streaked hands and moved over to the sink, setting the water to scalding hot and began to scrub her hands together.
Thea looked back and saw her brother and friends looking on in silence, seemingly having no idea how to respond. Thea grabbed up a can of disinfectant wipes and made her way back to the exam table. While everyone watched, Thea began to wipe down every surface of the table, each drawer she had touched, and finally, lowered herself back to the ground and used wipe after wipe on the floor.
Once finished, Thea looked over her work, feeling pleased. All blood was in the trash, which she could handle taking out. There wasn't so much as a drop that Thea hadn't scrubbed away. She felt a weight lift off of her, and she pulled herself up slowly, aware that her arm felt a little numb from being wrapped so tightly in duct tape and her head felt a little light from blood loss.
Thea let out a long, slow breath, and then said in a nearly normal tone, "I think I'm going to pop out and get stitched up."
"Thea," Oliver said in a low tone. "What the hell was that?"
"I'll just grab a cab," Thea said, ignoring her brother.
"Don't you … want to change first?" Felicity asked tentatively.
It hadn't fully crossed Thea's mind until now that she was still wearing her Speedy leather pants and boots along with the tank top from under her jacket. Thea stood staring at her legs for a long time, brain still foggy from her panic. "Oh," Thea mumbled. "Yeah, I'll go change." She began to walk towards the lockers, when she turned back around and demanded, "Don't touch that!" while pointing to the trash can.
As soon as Thea was behind the lockers and yanking her leathers off, she could hear the concerned, murmuring voices of her brother and teammates. She thought she could hear Diggle say something about "PTSD" and Oliver say, "Ra's Al Ghul". Oh god, what must they think of her? She had acted completely insane!
Thea pulled on a clean pair of jeans and stuck her feet inside a pair of slip-ons. She strode out, trying to exude confidence like she was completely together. Her brother and team were grouped together near the medical table where she had left them. Felicity had wheeled over to huddle up with the rest and Oliver stood with a hand on her shoulder. Laurel's eyes were so wide, they seemed to take up her entire face. Digg watched Thea unabashedly as she approached. They were all hushed in that unnatural way which follows the object of discussion entering the room.
Thea sauntered up to the trashcan and pulled out the stuffed bag. She dropped it to the ground and quickly tied off the top. She stood, slinging the bag over her shoulder. She finally looked up to meet the eyes of her team. "I'm just … gonna go," Thea said awkwardly, indicating the elevator.
"Thea," Laurel began like she was going to say something meaningful. Thea turned away quickly and headed to the elevator.
Just as the doors started to close, a hand shot between them, forcing them back open. Digg stepped inside and quickly turned to stand shoulder to shoulder with Thea, giving her a healthy gap of space.
"What are you doing?" Thea asked wearily.
"Figured there was no need for a cab this late. I'll drive you." Thea looked over at Digg who kept his gaze firmly on the elevator door. Thea studied him for a moment. Then Thea turned back around, staring ahead.
"Fine," Thea agreed.
After Thea dropped her trash bag into the dumpster, she and Diggle began their drive through the city. Digg made no comment as Thea directed him towards the Glades.
The car pulled up under glowing lights reading "Rebecca Merlyn Memorial Clinic".
"Quite the choice," Digg noted wryly.
"Malcolm wanted to close it down," Thea said softly. "But Tommy wouldn't let him. This place really meant something to his mom, so it meant the world to Tommy. It's her legacy."
Digg nodded. He asked with interest, "Since the world thinks Malcolm is dead, does that make it yours now?"
"It's in a trust," Thea said. "But, yeah, I have final say on the trust."
"It's a lovely thing you're doing to honor Tommy and Rebecca," Digg said sincerely.
Thea sat in silence for a moment, then pushed open the passenger door. Diggle's voice made her pause. "I'll wait here. Come out when you're ready to leave." Thea nodded her understanding before hurrying inside.
There was a warm familiarity to the clinic that calmed Thea considerably. She headed to the front desk. "Hi," she said quietly to the receptionist. "I got into a little fight with an acquaintance, and I need some stitches."
Thea hadn't waited in an exam room long before a nurse and a young-looking doctor Thea had never met came in wearing gowns, gloves, masks, and eye wear. The nurse began to unwrap her arm while the doctor introduced himself.
"I spoke briefly with Dr. Henson at home. He asked if we could get some blood lab work while we've got you here. We'd also like to get you scheduled with Dr. Henson for a follow-up. He mentioned that you missed your last check-up."
"That's fine," Thea said agreeably. It was just as well. She couldn't run forever.