After what feels like a long time, I'm finally back.
Stan Pines stood and admired the large portal in front of him.
"Thirty long years have all led up to this, my biggest achievement!" he said to himself before the portal struck him. It just put a little fire on one of his arm hairs. He quickly doused it. "Feisty, I like it."
Stan entered the control room. He pushed a few buttons, activating the auto-scan.
"If I pull this off, it'll all have been worth it," he said to himself. "I just need to keep playing it cool. If anyone ever finds out about this…" Stan turned to the picture he had of his great-niece and nephew, Mabel and Dipper. He quickly brushed it off. "Yeah, right. I've come this far. Who could possibly catch me now?"
Stan pulled the lever. The portal shined brightly.
At a secret government facility, two agents were watching a device. It was picking up something.
"See, there it is again," said the first one.
"We haven't seen readings like this for thirty years," said the other.
"Is it coming from deep space? An enemy weapon site?"
The second agent traced where the signature was coming from. It led him to a certain area in Oregon.
"Just as I suspected," he said to himself. "Gentlemen, we're going to Gravity Falls."
Play Gravity Falls Intro Music
A bus stops in the small town of Gravity Falls. Dipper and Mabel get off the bus. In front of them is the town's star attraction, The Mystery Shack. Their great-uncle, Stan, invites them inside.
The twins look around the shack. They're both curious about everything.
Later, the Pines investigate a strange footprint with four toes instead of five. None of them realize they're standing in a much larger footprint.
DIPPER
Dipper looks around a cave holding a candle for light. He comes across a strange skeleton that scares him. He drops his candle, getting rid of his only source of light.
MABEL
Mabel stands in a room wearing a purple sweater with stars, her name, and a rainbow. She plugs an outlet into her sweater, causing it to glow.
STAN
Stan tells the twins, Wendy, and Soos a scary story. Soos and the twins are terrified while Wendy is completely unfazed. However, none of them notice the scary creature behind them.
WENDY
Wendy sits in front of the cash register, minding her own business. She doesn't notice the nearby jar of eyeballs turning to face her.
SOOS
Soos spins around the living room wearing multiple jewels on his clothes. Mabel shines a flashlight, and the light reflects off of the jewels creating a beautiful lightshow.
Dipper and Mabel lay in their room. Mabel reads a girl magazine while laying on the floor. Dipper reads a journal while laying on his bed. After a second, everyone and everything begins to float off the ground. Dipper is the only one who notices something off.
End Intro
One Cruel Summer
Chapter 16
Scary-oke
"Welcome to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack!" Stan greeted his large audience. "We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Lil Gideon."
Stan showed a Gideon doll. The crowd booed.
"Please, please," Stan said as if he was gonna quiet them down. "Boo harder!"
The crowd did as they were told.
"But I didn't catch this pork chop all alone," Stan admitted, before gesturing to Dipper and Mabel. "These two scamps deserve some of the glory." Dipper elbowed Stan. "Okay, most of the glory."
"Smile for the camera," said Toby Determined.
"Your camera's a cinder block, Toby."
"I just want to be a part of things."
Shandra Jiminez got in front of Toby.
"Smile for a real camera?" she requested.
"Everyone say, 'something stupid'!" Mabel said.
"Something stupid!" the family said as they made the stupidest poses they could.
Shandra's cameraman took the picture.
"And don't forget to come to the after party tonight at 8:00," Stan said.
"We're doing a karaoke bonanza, people!" Mabel declared. "Lights, music, enchantment, and an amazing performance by the Pines Family and Friends!"
Mabel showed a picture depicting herself, Dipper, Stan, Soos, and Wendy wearing glittery outfits. Each of them were given titles.
Mabel's was 'The Heartbreaker'.
Dipper's was 'Mr. Paranoid'.
Stan's was 'The Old One'.
Soos' was 'The Dude'.
Wendy's was 'The Cool Lumberjack Girl'.
"I would never agree to that," Dipper said.
"Too late," Mabel said. "I wrote your names on the list. It's happening."
Wendy came in and blew an airhorn.
"Buy a ticket, people!" she shouted. "You know you don't have anything else going on in your lives!" She pointed at the overweight, middle-age man wearing a pizza T-shirt. "I'm talking to you, pizza guy! Don't lame out on me!"
Everyone left the shack until the Pines, plus Wendy and Soos, were the only ones left.
"Things are finally going my way," Stan smiled.
"Hey, Grunkle Stan, now that we have a moment," Dipper said. "I've been meaning to ask for my journal back."
"Journal?" Stan asked before the memory came back to him. He pulled the journal from under the cash register. "Oh, this old thing. It was so boring I couldn't even finish it."
Flashback
Stan actually printed a copy of the journal the night before. He planned to give the copy to Dipper, and keep the original for himself.
Stan noticed that Waddles somehow got in.
"You didn't see nothing," he said.
End of Flashback
"Wait, you're just gonna give it to me?" Dipper asked. "Like that?"
"What else do you want?" Stan asked. "A kiss on the cheek?"
"I gotta go!"
Dipper ran upstairs.
"I wouldn't mind a kiss on the cheek," Soos said, having overheard the conversation.
"Not gonna happen," Stan said.
Dipper and Mabel entered their room.
Dipper locked the door, shut the blinds, turned off all the lights, then turned on a lantern.
"Mabel, getting my journal back made me realize something," he said. "We're halfway through the summer, and still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls. Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on this journal. Why? Who wrote it? Where's Journal one? What was Bill talking about when he said everything was gonna change? There's something huge going on right under our noses. It's time we stop goofing around and get to the bottom of it."
"Bro, you looked at that thing, like, a bazillion times," Mabel said. "There's nothing left to discover. Half the pages are blank, remember?"
"I just feel like I'm one piece of the puzzle away from figuring out everything."
"Don't worry, Dipper. Lord Mystery Ham is on the case." Mabel picked up Waddles, gave him a Sherlock Holmes hat, and imitated him. "I play by me own rules!"
Dipper sighed. "I don't know why I tell you things." That's when he heard a noise. "Do you hear that?"
Soos looked out the window and saw a government vehicle pull up.
"Hey, Mr. Pines," he said. "What code word am I supposed to shout when I see a government vehicle?"
"It's police vehicle, and…" Stan was about to correct before realizing what Soos said. "Wait, government vehicle?"
Stan looked out the window and saw the government vehicle. He quickly activated a silent alarm.
"The Mystery Shack is now closed!" he shouted. "Everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly!"
Dipper and Mabel came downstairs.
"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" Mabel asked.
"Yeah, you never close the shop early," Dipper added.
The doorbell rang. Stan answered.
In front of him were two agents wearing black suits and ties.
The first one has a black mustache, and short and straight black hair.
The second agent had lighter brown hair that was spiked on the front.
"Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen," he greeted in the most chill voice he could. "What can I get you? Key chains, snow globes, rare photos of US presidents?"
"My name is Agent Powers, and this is Agent Trigger," the first agent said as they showed their badges. "We're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town."
"Mysterious activity in the Mystery Shack?" Stan asked, ignoring the irony of the statement. "You gotta be joking."
"I assure you, I am not," said Powers. "I was born with a rare disorder that makes me incapable of experiencing humor."
Stan chuckled.
"I don't understand the sound you're making with your mouth," Powers said. "Now, if you'll excuse us, we're conducting an investigation."
The agents shoved passed Stan and looked around. Dipper noticed them and got excited.
"Wait, did you say you're investigating the mysteries of this town?" he asked.
"That is classified information, but yes," Powers replied. "Look, between you and me, I believe there's a conspiracy of paranormal origin connected to this town. We're just one small lead away from blowing the lid off this entire mystery."
"Are you kidding me? I'm investigating the same thing. I found this journal in the woods which has almost all the answers. If we work together, we can crack the case."
The agents looked at each other, then back at Dipper.
"If you have evidence of these claims, we should talk," Powers said as he gave Dipper a card.
Dipper's excitement grew. "We can talk right now! Please, come in! I have so much to show you!"
"Sorry, agents," Stan said, desperate to defuse the situation. "This kid has an overactive imagination. Paranormal town stuff is all part of gift shop lore. Sells more tickets, you know."
Stan snapped his fingers. Soos approached the agents and gave them headbands with alien antennas on them.
"We have other spots to investigate," Powers said. "We'll be on our way."
Trigger took as many Stan bobbleheads as he could hold. "I'm taking these as evidence."
"Smart move."
The agents left the shack.
"Wait, we have so much to talk about!" Dipper shouted.
It was too late. The agents already left.
"Hold it, kiddo," Stan said. "The last thing you want around here in a party is cops. I'm confiscating that card. How's about being a normal kid? Flirt with a girl or steal a pie off a windowsill, and don't go talking to those agents."
Stan put the card in a box of contraband, and left the room.
Dipper sighed angrily. "He doesn't understand. That could've been my big break."
"Maybe Grunkle Stan's right," Mabel said. "We're throwing a big party tonight. Can't you go one night without searching for aliens or raising the dead or whatever?"
"I'm not gonna raise the dead. I just need a chance to show those agents my book."
"Trust me. The only book you'll need tonight is right here." Mabel gave Dipper a karaoke book. "I say 'kara', you say, 'oke'. Kara… Kara…" Dipper didn't play along. That wasn't enough to wipe the smile off Mabel's face. "I can do this all day."
That night, Soos was decorating the shack for the party. Stan was monitoring everything. Mabel was looking through the options on the karaoke machine.
"Listen, kid, you don't want to hear this voice singing," Stan said.
"Grunkle Stan, karaoke isn't about sounding good," Mabel assured. "It's about sounding terrible, together."
Nearby, Wendy was setting up a blacklight.
"Look at this," she said as she turned on the blacklight. It not only lit up the posters, but it also lit up her teeth. "It looks like I have a crime scene in my mouth." Dipper smiled and blushed. "Ha, I knew you'd love it."
Dipper sighed. "It's not fair. Finally, I meet someone who can help me solve the mysteries, and Stan confiscates their card."
Wendy felt bad knowing what Dipper was going through. An idea came to mind. Wendy knew it was bad, but she wanted to cheer Dipper up.
"Dude, I probably shouldn't tell you this," she said. "But I'm pretty sure Stan hides everything in his room."
"If I go into Stan's room, I could get in so much trouble," Dipper said.
"You're right. That's what makes it fun, dummy."
Soos just finished stacking a bunch of Stan pinatas.
"I can't wait to smash these Stanatas," he said to himself.
Before he even had the chance, though, Grenda showed up and jumped onto the table, crushing the pinatas.
"Grenda has entered the party!" she shouted.
Candy arrived and picked up some of the candy. "Stan's brains look delicious."
"Girls!" Mabel cheered as she hugged the girls.
That's when Evan showed up.
"Mabel, I wanted to say…" he was about to say.
"Bye," Candy interrupted.
Evan tried to speak up again.
"Bye!" Grenda said much more aggressively.
Knowing he wasn't welcome, Evan walked away.
Stan sat as customers came and handed him money.
"The whole town is showing up," he said to himself. "And no sign of those pesky agents. Wendy, Dipper, how are those posters coming along?"
Stan turned to see that Wendy and Dipper weren't there. He sighed, knowing full well what they were up to.
Dipper and Wendy approached Stan's room. On the door were signs that read, 'No Minors Allowed. That means you, Dipper.'
"I'll keep an eye out for Stan," Wendy said. "You go rustle through his weird old man biz."
Dipper entered the room. He looked around the room for the card. It was nowhere to be found.
That's when he noticed a painting of Stan in a red bathrobe sitting on a couch. Dipper opened the painting to reveal the contraband box. In it was the card with the agent's number.
"Yes!" he cheered.
Dipper noticed a nearby telephone and dialed the number.
"This is Agent Powers," said a voice on the other side.
"Hi, this is Dipper," Dipper greeted. "The kid from the Mystery Shack with the… overactive imagination. I have that journal I wanted to show you."
"And you're certain this journal will help our case?"
"I'm positive."
"Very well, we're on our way."
Right after that was said, Dipper heard the signal disconnect. He turned around to see Stan unplugged the phone, while Wendy stood there with a guilty look on her face.
"Sorry," she apologized. "I got distracted."
She pulled out her phone to reveal what exactly was distracting her. It was just photos of Thompson without his shirt.
"Kid, why did you call those agents?" Stan asked. "I told you to do one thing, and one thing only. Ignore the agents and be a normal kid."
"That's two things," Dipper corrected.
"Whatever. Point is, there's nothing supernatural in Gravity Falls."
"Yes, there is. After everything that's happened, you have to know by now."
"All I know is that your dumb obsession is gonna get us all in trouble one of these days. Now go enjoy the rest of the party, because when it's over, you're grounded."
Dipper and Wendy walked out of the room. Dipper stopped to sneak a quick glare at Stan, before walking off.
It didn't take long for the agents to arrive. Dipper saw them and waved to get their attention.
"I hope you know what you're doing, Dip," Wendy whispered.
Dipper approached the agents.
"I'm so glad to see you," he said. "Working together, we can crack all the big questions of Gravity Falls. Trust me, this book is the lead we've been looking for. I'm thinking full-scale investigation. Forensics, researchers, do you have a helicopter?"
"Kid, I'd love to believe you," said Powers. "But this looks like more junk from your uncle's gift shop. I mean, leprecorn? I can't be the only one that thinks that's not funny."
"I can confirm, not funny," Trigger agreed.
"It's real, I swear!" Dipper assured. "You should send it to the lab. Am I saying that right?"
"Your uncle was right about that overactive imagination," said Powers. "We got paperwork to do, kid. Boring paperwork."
The agents turned back to the car. Dipper ran after them.
"Wait, I swear, it's real!" he shouted.
Wendy realized the situation was getting out of hand. She ran after Dipper.
"Dipper, stop!" she yelled.
But Dipper didn't listen. He scrolled through the pages to find something that would convince the agents. He found certain latin phrases.
"Corpus levitas!" he recited. "Diablo dominus! Mondo vicium!"
After a few seconds, the earth started to shake. A crack formed in the road. A gray, lifeless body emerged. It stared at the four with one glowing green eye.
"See, a real zombie!" Dipper shouted excitedly. "Now can we work together?"
"Sweet mother of Jesus!" Powers shouted.
"It's just one zombie," Dipper assured. "I see stuff like this all the time."
The zombie roared in Dipper's face. Dipper screamed.
Wendy got in front of Dipper and kicked the zombie. It flew back into the hole it came from.
"Phew, that's a relief," Dipper sighed in relief.
Right as he said that, more zombies started climbing out.
"Guys, you can help, right?" Dipper asked.
"Kid, we've been chasing the paranormal for years," Powers replied. "But we've never seen anything like this before!"
That's when the zombies ambushed the agents. The agents screamed as they were pulled into the darkness.
Dipper stared in horror, the reality of the situation finally hitting him.
"MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" he asked himself.
He turned around to see that one of the zombies was about to bite him. Thankfully, Wendy stepped in and used an ax to chop the zombie's head off.
"Come on, we gotta go!" she shouted as she offered her hand.
Dipper nodded, blushed, and took Wendy's hand.
Meanwhile, everyone was having a great time at the party.
Toby was trying to whack a stanata, and failing miserably.
Blubs and Durland were singing karaoke.
Everyone in the crowd danced along to the song.
"What do you say, guys?" Mabel asked, not noticing the ground shaking. "Is this party legendary? When I say, 'Mabel', you say, 'Pines'! Mabel…"
A woman in the crowd screamed. "We're all gonna die!"
"Why does that never work?" Mabel asked.
Wendy and Dipper arrived in the nick of time. Wendy blew an airhorn, getting everyone's attention.
"Everybody, get out of here!" she shouted.
The crowd all hurried away.
"We're all doomed!" Candy panicked.
"Quick, into my getaway pouch!" Grenda shouted as she opened her backpack.
Candy climbed into the pouch. Grenda ran away.
"Mabel, escape while you still can!" Grenda called.
"Wait, don't leave!" Mabel shouted. "We haven't even done our karaoke song yet!"
Wendy and Dipper approached Mabel.
"Well, thanks to a certain someone, that's never gonna happen!" Wendy explained, before glaring at Dipper. "Dipper, what's the one thing Mabel told you not to do tonight?"
"Raise the dead," Dipper replied with a guilty look on his face.
"And what did you do?"
"Raise the dead."
Mabel gave Dipper a disappointed glare.
That's when they heard the sound of roars. They turned around to see the zombies advancing.
"Get back, dudes," Soos said. "This is about to get intense."
He quickly took his phone out and snapped a picture.
"Soos!" Wendy snapped.
"What?" Soos asked. "You gotta admit this is pretty cool."
"Zombies!" Dipper panicked.
"Let's not panic," said Mabel. "They might just be an ugly flash mob."
Mabel was proven wrong when one of the zombies swung at her. Thankfully, Dipper was able to grab her and pull her out of the way.
"Dudes, stand back," Soos said. "I've been training for this moment my whole life. With all the horror movies I've seen, I know literally everything there is to know about how to avoid zombies."
One of the zombies was about to bite Soos. Unfortunately for it, Soos punched it in the face without even turning around.
The four knew they didn't stand a chance against all the zombies. They made a run for it.
They tried to escape with the golf cart. Sadly, some of the zombies knocked the cart over and started tearing it up.
Dipper found a nearby laser sphere and tried throwing it onto one of the zombies. The zombie just ate it. It then started projecting lights everywhere, making the zombies look rad.
"Where's Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked.
"How's he gonna help?" Dipper replied. "He doesn't believe in the supernatural!"
Meanwhile, Stan was in the basement working on the portal.
"Those agents could ruin everything," he said to himself. "That kid has no idea what he's messing with. He's stubborn."
He looked at the cover of Journal 1. He could see his reflection through the golden hand.
Sorta like me, I suppose, he thought, before speaking aloud again. "Uh, I got too much on my mind to worry about those kids right now."
Stan was about to continue to work on the portal when he noticed from the monitor behind him that Dipper and the gang were in trouble.
The four made it inside the shack. They all tried to board up the windows. Unfortunately, that didn't work as planned.
"Dipper, isn't there something in the journal about defeating zombies?" Mabel asked.
"No!" Dipper replied. "There's nothing about a weakness! This can't be happening!"
"Well, it is!" Wendy shouted before noticing a zombie about to bite Dipper. "Dipper, look out!"
Dipper didn't have time to react. The zombie was just an inch away from biting…
Then something caused its head to fly off.
It was Stan. He stomped on the zombie's severed head, crushing it.
"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper and Mabel asked.
"Mr. Pines?" Soos and Wendy said at the same time.
"You four, attic, now!" Stan shouted.
"What? Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked, unable to comprehend the millions of questions he had at the moment.
"Are you deaf?!" Wendy yelled as she grabbed Dipper's hand and carried him upstairs. "Let's go!"
Mabel and Soos followed Dipper and Wendy upstairs. Stan stayed behind, grabbed a bat, and faced the zombies.
"Alright, undead jerks!" he shouted as he started whacking zombies. "Ready to die twice? The only wrinkly monster who messes with my family is me!"
After a while, one of the zombies grabbed Stan's bat and broke it in half. Stan was prepared, and he punched the zombies with brass knuckles.
"You want a piece of me?!" he shouted.
After a while, Stan ran upstairs. He grabbed the grandfather clock and sent it down the stairs. It took down all the zombies in its path.
Dipper and the gang entered the attic. Dipper slammed the door. The four stood still and caught their breaths.
"Is everybody okay?" Dipper asked.
Wendy angrily punched the wall as hard as she could, leaving a crack. Everyone else jumped back in shock.
Wendy then turned towards Dipper with a livid look on her face. Dipper knew what this meant. He tried to back away until he hit the wall. He gulped.
"No, Dipper!" Wendy snapped. "We're not okay! What were you thinking?! Did you honestly think that this day would be your big break, that you'd be working with professional government agents and getting all the answers?! Even if you had that chance, it's gone now! Because of you and your rash decision, those agents are dead, and many more will be! This is all your fault, Dipper…" Tears formed around Wendy's eyes as she continued. "And mine! I gave you the idea of sneaking into Stan's room, and I agreed to help you get that card, all because I wanted to help you feel better!"
"You're right," Dipper admitted, looking away. "I wanted answers so bad I put everyone in danger. This is all my fault."
Before anyone could say anymore, they heard the sound of a bang on the door. They backed away, and prepared themselves for what was coming.
The door opened. A hand reached out.
Stan came in and shut the door behind him.
"Grunkle Stan, you're alright!" Dipper shouted, relieved. "That was awesome what you did back there, taking down those zombies left and right! It's like you've… done it… before."
Dipper stopped himself, as the realization dawned on him.
"Kid, I have done this before," Stan admitted. "I've always known about… everything."
"Wait, what are you talking about?" Wendy asked, feeling her anger building up again.
"I'm not an idiot! Of course this town is weird, and the one thing I know about that weirdness is that it's dangerous!"
The five heard banging coming from the door. They backed away.
"I've been lying about it to try to keep you away from it," Stan continued. "To try to protect you from it."
A zombie tried to come in through the window. Stan punched it, making it fall down.
"I guess I didn't lie well enough," Stan said.
"Yeah, you think?!" Wendy yelled.
"What do we do? What do we do?" Mabel panicked.
"Normally, I'd consult the journal, but there's nothing in here about defeating zombies," Dipper said as he showed the journal. "It's hopeless."
"Wait, the text! It's glowing in the black light!"
It took Dipper a second to process what Mabel said. "What?"
He set the journal down in front of the nearby blacklight. All these new texts appeared on the pages.
"I thought I knew all the journal's secrets," he said. "But they're written in some kind of invisible ink." Dipper went back to the zombie page. "This is it. 'Zombies have a weakness! Previously thought to be invincible, their skulls can be shattered by a perfect five-person harmony.'
"Five-person harmony?" Wendy wondered. "How can we create that? I have a naturally high-pitched scream."
"I can make noises with my body," said Soos. "Sometimes intentionally."
"Oh yeah," Dipper realized. "Your stomach makes whale noises, but how is that supposed to help?"
"Boys, Wendy," Mabel said. "I think you're all missing the obvious solution."
The pentet got on the balcony. Mabel turned on the karaoke machine and plugged in the microphones.
"Is this thing on?" she said, making a loud noise.
It didn't take long for all the zombies to gather together.
"Zombies and gentlemen!" Mabel shouted. "I'm Mabel, they're Dipper, Stan, Wendy, and Soos, and together, we're Love Patrol Alpha!"
"I never agreed to that name!" Dipper added.
"Hey, you don't have a right to complain!" Wendy yelled.
Dipper sighed. "I know."
Mabel started the song of her choosing. The words appeared on screen.
Play "It's My Life/Confessions" Medley from GLEE
Dipper:
This ain't a song for the broken hearted
Wendy:
No silent prayer for the faith departed
Mabel:
And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
Soos:
You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out aloud
All Four:
It's my life
Dipper:
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive
All Four:
It's my life
That wasn't working the way they hoped. The zombies were only getting closer. Mabel realized what was wrong.
"Stan, you have to sing too, or it won't work!" she shouted.
Knowing there was no other choice, Stan decided to go with it.
Stan:
These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
Damn near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so thrown and I don't know what to do
But to give you part two of mine
All:
You better stand tall
When they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break
Baby, don't back down
Now that they were all singing together, the harmony was finally taking effect. Zombie heads were exploding left and right.
These are my confessions
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
These are my confessions
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life
Just when I thought I said all I can say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life
End Medley
One of the zombies made it up. It was about to grab Dipper.
"Duck!" Mabel shouted.
Everyone else got down. Mabel fired a confetti cannon that tore the zombie's head off. It fell into the punch bowl.
"Thank you!" Mabel shouted to a non-existent audience. "We'll be here all night!"
"Deal with it, idiots!" Stan added.
"Pines! Pines! Pines!" everyone cheered.
Everyone got back in the shack.
"I'm sorry, guys," Dipper apologized. "I ruined everything."
"Are you kidding?" Mabel asked. "Sure, you may have raised a bunch of zombies from the dead, but hey, at least the five of us got to sing karaoke together. No party could ever top that."
"Kids, listen, this town is crazy," Stan said. "You need to be careful. I don't know what I'd do with myself if you got hurt on my watch. I'll let you hold onto that spooky journal, as long as you promise to only use it for self-defense and not go looking for trouble."
"Okay," Dipper said. "But only if you promise me that you don't have any other bombshell secrets about this town."
"Promise." Stan crossed his fingers behind his back as he said that.
"Promise." Dipper also crossed his fingers as he said that.
"Man, we have got a lot of damage to clean up. Where's Soos anyway?"
"On it, Mr. Pines," Soos said as he got to cleaning.
Dipper and Mabel went upstairs to get some rest.
"All this time, the author's secrets were hiding in plain sight," Dipper said to himself. He turned on the blacklight and shined it on one particular page, the page that showed the place where he found the journal. "A whole new chapter of mysteries to explore."
Powers and Trigger climbed out of the hole. Trigger was beyond traumatized.
"That was insane," he said. "Bigger than anything we've ever done. Who do we report to?"
Powers pulled a zombie head off of his zombie-proof chestplate.
"This is bigger than we imagined," he said. "We need to bring in the big guns."
"But they'll never believe us," Trigger warned.
"Then we'll make them believe us. This is the town we've been searching for."
Toby Determined appeared, still blindfolded and looking for the pinata.
"Ahh, another zombie!" Trigger screamed as he grabbed his gun.
Toby took off his blindfold and looked around.
"Lower your weapon," Powers said. "It's just a man. A really, ugly man."
A.N.
After what feels like years, it's nice to finally get back into this.
I apologize for not getting this chapter out sooner. I meant to get this posted on the Autumn Equinox, but sadly, life had other plans. I've been really busy with school, and I'm working to get my driver's permit. Thank you all for being patient.
Anyway, this was admittedly not a strong start to the second half. The main reason behind that was the fact that Scary-oke is easily the worst episode of the entire show. Again, there's no such thing as a bad Gravity Falls episode, but this was easily one of the weaker ones. There are quite a few reasons.
Firstly, Scary-oke provides a perfect example of how Wendy was done dirty by the show. She just shows up, gives Dipper the idea to sneak into Stan's room, agrees to stand guard while Dipper sneaks into Stan's room, they both get caught, and Wendy's pretty much gone for the rest of the episode.
And the other reason, Dipper. I have ranted about Mabel quite a few times in the author's notes, but I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't acknowledge Dipper's faults as well, so that's what I'm gonna do now.
People who say that Weirdmageddon was Mabel's fault are really sick in the head. Mabel was tricked by Bill, and if she did see through his deception, Bill could've just as easily found someone more gullible to manipulate. You can't make the same argument for Dipper in this episode. There were no factors that influenced his decision other than his own ego. He wanted to join those crazy government agents, all so he could receive some validation, and he directly went against orders from both Stan AND Mabel. I don't hate Dipper, but he was at his absolute worst in this episode (it is taking every ounce of my being to not say he was an asshole), and he really needed to be called out.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Oh, hi Bill.
To South Down, I appreciate what you said in your last comment, but sadly, I can't get Bill out of my head. He's even been inflicting pain on my body lately. Just two weeks ago, he made me trip and pop my knee out of place. I can't tell you how awful that was.
It was delightful hearing you bitch and moan.
Shut up, Bill.
Anyway, the only reason why I didn't skip this episode was because of its importance to the overall narrative. It introduced the new concept of texts in the journal hidden under blacklight, while also setting up the new plot of finding the identity of the author.
To make this at least a bit better, I decided to give Wendy and Soos bigger roles in this chapter. I already ranted about how Wendy was done dirty, so I won't repeat myself here.
Some of you might've noticed how Wendy overall acted angrily after Dipper raised the zombies. It's not just some out of character moment. One thing we're told about Wendy, specifically in the Society of the Blind Eye episode, is that she only acts chill because she's secretly stressed. I did show bits of that side to her in previous chapters, but I decided to REALLY show how Wendy acts when the mask is off. It's another part of my plan to do Wendy justice and flesh her out.
As for Soos, while him keeping his chill personality while in zombie form was hilarious, I still felt Soos deserved more. As a result, I had Wendy and Soos perform with the Pines family. I gave them both their own spots in the intro, so it only made sense if these two got to perform with the Pines.
As for the song, there's not much reason as to why it was changed. While "Taking Over Midnight" was overall enjoyable, I felt that I could do better. I wanted to do another scene inspired by GLEE. While GLEE has a very weak story (I couldn't even get past the third season), the main good thing I can say is that the song performances are phenomenal. I was originally gonna do the "Livin on a Prayer/Start Me Up" medley, but upon listening to it, I decided it didn't work. Then, their cover of "It's My Life/Confessions" came to mind. I just thought it was a better song.
Anyway, that's all for now. Thanks for reading.