Disclaimers can be found in chapter one.
Many thanks to Scattered Logic for betaing this for me.
Chapter 13: Hope would not be lost
"Peddle a little slower, Kaitlyn. I'm going to let you go."
"But, I'll fall, Papa!"
"No, you won't. You can do this. Ready?"
"I think so."
"On the count of three I'm going to let you go. One….Two….Three!"
"Wheeee! Look at me, Papa!"
"You're doing splendid, baby!"
"I'm not a baby anymore, Papa. I can ride a bike all by myself!"
"Kaitlyn."
"Just a few more minutes, Papa. I'm tired." She rolled over, pulling the blankets closer to her.
"Kaitlyn?"
Kaitlyn jumped at the voice and turned over to see a dark haired man standing over her bed. Her vision, blurred by sleep, finally cleared and she realized that she was not in bed, but lying on the hard ground not far from a moving river. What covered her were not blankets but Elvish cloaks and it was Aragorn who had awoken her and not her father.
"Aragorn," she whispered with much pain in her voice. "For a moment, I thought…"
He touched her shoulder lightly. "I know. You were dreaming, but we must prepare to leave. The hobbits are passing around the lembas and then we will be off."
She nodded slowly.
"How is your hand healing? You've not spoken of it." He crouched beside her, balancing on the front of his feet.
She took the cloaks that were wrapped around her, constricting her movements, and draped them over her shoulders. She lifted her hand and Aragorn took it carefully into his own.
The Ranger gently removed the wraps that concealed the injury and turned her hand, palm up, so that he could inspect it. The wound was no longer red or opened, but turning pale and already scar tissue had formed. "It is healing well. Does it pain you?"
She shook her head. "No. Whatever the elf healer did to it, it's healed much faster than normal. Legolas will be pleased to know that I'll be able to have archery lessons again."
Aragorn smiled but it faded quickly. "As much as you and Legolas would both enjoy having further lessons it would not be possible."
She frowned. "Why not?" She had actually been looking forward to more archery. She thought she did well with a sword but lacked the skill with a bow. And now that she had a bow of her own and Legolas' at that, she wanted to use it.
"In a few days we will be at the Falls of Rauros. From there we will decide our destination. By day we will travel on the river and at night we will rest. There will be no time for lessons. "
"But I'm not ready for any battles yet. I need more lessons," Kaitlyn insisted.
He patted her shoulder. "You have learned the sword with me and Legolas has taught you all the lessons you require for the bow. It is up to you to take those lessons and apply them. Have some confidence for you are a quick and good learner."
She nodded slowly.
"If you wait too long, Merry and Pippin may eat all the lemba," he teased lightly. "Go and eat. You will need your strength."
She smiled and then something by the river caught her attention. "I will in a moment." Was her far away response.
He followed her gaze and nodded and then left her side.
Kaitlyn combed her fingers through her hair and tried her best to make her locks somewhat presentable. She felt dirty from sleeping on the ground and not showering as much as she had back home. She was dying for another hot bath like the ones she had taken in Lothlorien but it just wasn't possible.
After tying her hair back into a ponytail, she gathered the spare cloak and walked toward the shore. Legolas stood there as still as a stone statue, except for the dancing of his blond hair in the wind. The weather today was the opposite of yesterday. It was cold, cloudy and a thick fog had descended over the river and the surrounding area. Visibility was low even for the eyes of an Elf.
She slowly walked up behind him, and he turned, easily hearing her approach.
"Aur vaer." Good morning. He bid her. He gave her a smile, though it wasn't one of joy. She knew he was troubled.
"Aur vaer," she replied in return. "You seem worried."
He sighed. "The fog hinders my ability to see as far as I would want. I must rely on my other senses."
She swallowed. "Is something coming? Are we going to be attacked?"
"Evil stirs, but I believe we are far enough away at the moment," he told her honestly.
"What about that Gollum creature?" she asked, not looking or feeling very relieved. Her lower lip was quivering. "It's still out there," she reminded him.
Legolas frowned. "Aye, but he will not attack us with the odds so against him."
Kaitlyn nodded and a silence descended over them as Elf and mortal were each lost in their own thoughts. The river flowed by them making soft sounds as the water splashed against rocks and roots. In the background, the sounds of the others eating and packing could be heard.
It amazed Kaitlyn how quickly the moods changed. Last night Legolas had comforted her and they had laughed together and then rest of the night and this morning had left them and the others worried and on edge.
"Lostannech maer," Legolas spoke softly, breaking the silence. You slept well.
She nodded. "As well as I could with a rock as my pillow."
He nodded in return. His eyes moved over her face, seeing the vague imprints of the rock still upon her cheek. It must not have been comfortable for her.
And the truth was that it was not. She had tossed and turned many times, attempting to find a comfortable position until exhaustion had finally claimed her.
"Ú-lostannech." You slept not. She told him, a slight edge of concern in her voice.
"Nay," he answered in an even tone and his brow rose in wonderment. "How did you know?" he asked her.
She gestured to their environment. "You're in the same position you were in earlier. Right here next to this strangely formed rock by the river." She pointed to a rock that looked to be in the shape of some kind of monster. Deep holes where the eyes would have been, a sharp, dark expression mangled and twisted by evil. It was clearly not a creation carved by hand, but by the moving water over the years and her active imagination.
Kaitlyn tore her attention away from the rock and gazed up at Legolas. "Why didn't you sleep?" she asked and now that she thought about it, she had never seen him sleep.
"I was not in need of rest, " he replied and he continued to gaze at the fog, willing it away with his eyes.
She was about to tell him otherwise when a cool morning breeze swept across the water and caused her to shiver violently. She tugged her cloak closer and then draped his that he had lent her over his shoulders so that he, too, could be warm.
"It's cold," she told him when he gave her a quizzical expression.
"I do not feel the cold," he stated unemotionally.
She laughed nervously, feeling foolish for forgetting that he didn't feel the elements as she did. "Well, I'm cold enough for the both of us," she tried to joke, but Legolas clearly missed that she was teasing.
"Wear the cloak. Ú-voen," he told her and he took it from his shoulders and offered it to her. I need it not.
She shook her head. "I don't need it," she told him as she backed away a few steps. "I'll be fine once we get moving. Besides, it's yours."
"Please, wear it," Legolas insisted. He was not blind. He could see her continuing to tremble even though the wind had diminished for the moment.
"I'm fine," she told him stubbornly.
He sighed and clasped the leaf of Lorien at the base of his neck. Taking one side of the cloak into his hand, he smoothly pulled her toward him, effectively wrapping the cloak around them both.
She gasped loudly at the action, her eyebrows raised in shock, her heart pounding in her chest.
"I do not mind sharing," he told her with genuine innocence.
She laughed nervously and broke away from his embrace. "Really, I'm fine."
"You are lying to me," he told her, his voice sounding hurt. At her wide-eyed expression, he continued, "You are shivering."
She forced herself to stop trembling. "I'm just a little cold. I've stopped shivering now. See?"
He frowned, his brows lowered over his eyes, not looking the least bit convinced.
"The cold is not going to kill me. I'm fine, Legolas. Don't worry about me." She tried to brush him off but she could see that it wasn't working.
His voice was soft but firm when he spoke. "It is too late, I am already concerned." His blue eyes bored into hers.
Kaitlyn felt her breath catch in her throat and her stomach rolled. Why was he suddenly so concerned about her welfare? He had given her his cloak that night and then when she refused to take it again this morning he had pulled her into his arms so they could share it together. She didn't know what to make of that. But as quickly as the panic and unease came, it fled her. For his next words made her realize that she was overreacting.
He stepped closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "You are my friend. I cannot help but be concerned."
She exhaled loudly with relief and then smiled gently. She had worked herself up for nothing. Feeling quite happy at hearing his words, she stood up on her tiptoes, for he was a good 6 inches taller than she was, and placed a light kiss on his cheek.
"Istan," she replied. I know. "Le hannon for all you have done. You're a good friend to me." Thank you.
Legolas gave her a bright smile. Happiness bubbled inside of him like water from the stream of Nimrodel. So unexpected was the joy he felt at the friendship that he shared with this mortal woman. The more he spent time with her, the more he realized that he could not imagine returning to life without her companionship. He felt this way about all of the members of the Fellowship, even though he knew the dangers of caring for mortals.
Kaitlyn sank back down onto her heels and gazed up at Legolas. The fair Elf was positively beaming.
Legolas watched with amusement as her cheeks flushed even brighter pink than the wind had made them when he smiled at her. Her actions delighted and confused him at the same time, but one thing he was sure of was the mood she had put him in.
He had felt grief and frustration at not bring able to catch Gollum that night. He knew Aragorn felt the same, but the Mirkwood Elf felt it more so. He believed it was his people's fault for being too kind that the creature had escaped in the first place. But Kaitlyn had lifted his spirits and he was grateful. They would travel further down the Anduin today, further into their quest and into lands he had heard of but had never seen with his eyes. And with him would go his friends: Aragorn, Kaitlyn, the hobbits, Boromir and even Gimli the dwarf was beginning to grow on him.
After eating a very quick breakfast of lembas bread, the Fellowship set out on the river. The Anduin would become wide and calm and then narrow and swift, but no matter the terrain, the company traveled on. They paddled for much longer intervals instead of relying on the swiftness of the water to carry them. Aragorn wished to make good time and they were making it.
Most were silent as they traveled. Kaitlyn studied her Sindarin notes for a time and then decided to listen to her noisy device as they drifted along.
Legolas' strong hearing could make out the music and the voice and he was enchanted by it. Several times he called out to Kaitlyn to ask what she was listening to and he was ignored each time.
"I don't think that she can hear ye, laddie," Gimli called back to Legolas without even turning around. The dwarf had become to feel impatient from sitting in the boat for so long and it was evident in his tone.
"I think you are right, Gimli."
Not much later Kaitlyn gave a hearty sigh and removed the headphones. The fog still drifted around them, though it had lifted in some spots, but the earth was still gray and barren with only rocks and a few trees or bushes along the shore.
"You sigh so heavily. Whatever is the matter?" Gimli asked with concern.
Kaitlyn turned sideways to face the dwarf. He was sitting with his helmet and ax in his lap. His long hair was braided down his back and his kind dark eyes were full of worry.
Kaitlyn lifted the small contraption that she was listening to and frowned at it. "The batteries just ran out. I won't be able to listen to my music anymore." She sighed and opened her bag, placing the now worthless CD player and headphones into her backpack. " I feel like the farther we travel the more I seem to lose the only pieces I have left of my world." Her voice was fraught with sadness. "What will be next?"
Gimli tilted his head and put a gloved hand on her arm. "'Tis true that you may lose pieces of your world along the way, but you gain things here as well," he told her.
"Gimli is right," Legolas replied, his soft voice a contrast to Gimli's deep one. "You have gained an entire new world to explore and many new friends who welcome you into their lives."
Kaitlyn gave a sad smile and nodded. Suddenly her eyes widened in astonishment and she looked back and forth from dwarf to Elf. "Did you two just agree on something?"
Legolas and Gimli looked at each other.
Gimli crossed his arms over his chest. "It appears that we did. Humph. Though I don't think that will ever happen again!"
"Indeed!" Legolas said in reply. "An Elf and a dwarf agreeing? Unheard of!" He cried and he returned his concentration to steering the boat.
Kaitlyn only grinned. Perhaps there was hope for these two yet.
They camped that night and in the west the sky cleared and pale light could be seen. It lifted the spirits of the Fellowship who had seen nothing but fog and cloud that day.
The night was not so breezy and therefore slightly warmer. All were on their guard.
Since no sign of Gollum had been seen and the night was quiet, Kaitlyn crept away further down the shore to be alone.
All was still, except for the moving of the river. She removed her cloak and set it on a nearby rock. She rolled up her sleeves to her elbows and knelt by the water. The water was cold as she cupped it and brought it to her face, but it felt good against her skin. She wished she had soap with her or a washcloth, but the water was better than nothing to cleanse her of dirt and filth. She dried her face upon the hem of her tunic when she was finished.
As she was about to pull her sleeves back down from her elbows, she stopped and glanced down at the jagged scar that blemished her left arm. The scar was just below her elbow and small scars in the shape of stitches could still be seen on the edges of the larger scar. She reached to touch the old injury, her fingers tracing the raised, discolored skin.
"That is quite a scar. Were you in a battle?"
Kaitlyn cried out at the unexpected voice, and nearly fell face first into the water if strong arms had not grasped her and pulled her back. She tumbled not too gracefully into them with a grunt. Cursing, she pushed against the intruder and spun to face them.
Legolas stood in the pale light, his blond hair appearing silver, his face more pallid than usual. The Elf had a soft expression of concern and alarm on his face. His eyes were wide and his brows were raised.
"Good god, Legolas, You can't do that!" Kaitlyn shouted. "Not everyone has super hearing," she told him in an annoyed tone. She quickly reached for her cloak, her movements quick and clumsy. More than once she tripped and nearly fell.
Legolas' eyes followed her actions, watching her ungainly dash to her cloak. "I did not mean to startle you. I often forget that not everyone can hear my approach," he offered apologetically.
"Yeah, well, don't do it again, okay?" There was annoyance in her tone as she fumbled with the clasp of the leaf of Lorien.
"I will try to remember to alert you of my presence in the future," he told her, his eyebrows drawn together in a puzzled expression as to why she was so upset. He had approached her before when she had been unaware and, while she had been startled, she had not acted like this.
He watched as she moved to pull her cloak on. Before she could clasp the leaf at the base of her neck, Legolas gently touched her arm.
"I did not mean to intrude, but Aragorn was worried," he explained softly but urgently. "You should not wander even if the night is still. I dhelu mista." It is dangerous to stray.
She huffed and rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry for being dirty and wanting to wash my face. You obviously wouldn't know anything about dirt," she shot unreasonably at him.
Legolas frowned, wondering to Elbereth why she was acting like this, when he realized that she was attempting to divert his attention away from the scar on her arm.
"You are ashamed of this scar," he whispered aloud. He glanced down at her arm and one of his fingers gently traced the jagged edge of the old injury.
She shivered forcefully, not sure if it was from his touch or the coolness of the night. "What?" her eyes widened at his words. "You don't know what you're talking about!" She attempted to pull her arm away but he didn't release her.
"You hide it from the eyes of others," he continued softly in an even tone.
"You definitely have no idea. Let me go!" She commanded and she tried to pull away.
Legolas only released her for fear that he might hurt her. He watched as she tugged the sleeves of her tunic firmly down her arms and pulled her cloak around her, covering the scar as well as the rest of her body.
"You conceal it beneath your garments as if it offends you," Legolas stated, his brows furrowed in confusion. Mortals often boasted their battle wounds so why didn't she? Why was she behaving this way?
"Yeah, well, it does offend me," she said through clenched teeth. The anger had come out of nowhere. White hot and blinding and just as sudden as the tears that now welled in her eyes. She quickly blinked them away, refusing to break down.
Legolas stood completely still for a moment, one eyebrow was raised slightly higher than the other. It was obvious that he was surprised by her behavior.
"I did not mean to anger you," the Elf whispered in a soft voice and he lowered his head.
The action caused Kaitlyn to take a deep breath to calm herself. She exhaled and then sighed. She looked down at her arm, now covered by fabric. Then she looked at Legolas.
He was looking up at her now. His bright blue eyes shone with concern.
"You didn't make me angry," she told him, her tone more serene. "I made myself angry as did the memory of this." She pointed to her arm. "It's a reminder of something that happened in the past," she admitted faintly.
"Something you do not wish to speak of," the Elf sadly realized aloud.
She nodded. "I'm not ready." Was the broken reply.
Legolas regarded her, noticing her slumped, almost defeated posture, and the immense pain in her eyes was difficult for him to bear. Her anguish swirled around him like the fog from earlier that day. He lifted his arm, making the motion to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she backed away. He quickly lowered it to his side, sorrow seeping into him at her refusal.
She had seen the look of pain in his eyes when she stepped back and it only caused her more grief. She shook her head, tears beginning to cloud her vision. "I'm sorry," she offered lamely in a dispirited voice. She brushed past him quickly, returning to the camp.
Legolas stood as still as a statue, the wind blowing his long blond hair around his face and shoulders, and watched her go.
There was tension in the small boat carrying Legolas, Gimli and Kaitlyn as they set out the next morning. Gimli could feel it lingering around him and bet that he could cut through it with his ax. Something had happened between Legolas and Kaitlyn, he was sure of it. But as curious as he was, the dwarf did not dare ask what was wrong.
The sighting of many birds to the north at midday alerted Aragorn and Legolas of possible trouble. Fearing they were being watched, it was decided that the company would rest for the remainder of the day and would travel at night instead.
Beneath the shade of the few trees and shrubbery that grew on the surrounding landscape, the Fellowship rested.
All noticed a change in Kaitlyn and even in Legolas. Over the past several days, the Elf had been speaking a great deal to Kaitlyn and his companions and she spoke to him a great deal in turn. But now each was silent. Kaitlyn ignored Legolas completely while the Elf would cast lingering glances in her direction, waiting patiently for something to happen. But not once did she speak to him.
She did not speak to the others either. She spent much of her time, lying in the grass, curled into a ball with her head resting on her pack as if it were a pillow.
Aragorn didn't plan on intervening but he could not stand the tension. He went to the Mirkwood Elf and the two conversed quietly in Elvish. The Ranger asked what was wrong and Legolas was reluctant to tell him at first. Aragorn persisted.
"Did you say something that she did not like?" Aragorn asked.
While Legolas was extremely intelligent and well mannered, Aragorn knew he lacked when it came to women. The Ranger had witnessed two young Elven maidens formally of Rivendell approach Legolas once in Mirkwood. His friend had been polite with greetings but ignored the maidens when he realized they were interested in him in ways that he was not interested in them. The interaction ended as a misunderstanding, leaving the Elf maidens insulted and Legolas upset that he had hurt them unintentionally. Aragorn wondered if Legolas had insulted Kaitlyn somehow by accident.
"I do not believe it was words that upset her," Legolas answered in a sad tone. He lowered his head.
Aragorn watched him. He found Legolas' behavior unusual and little did the Ranger know that it would only grow worse as time passed. "Explain."
"You had been worried about her whereabouts so I went in search of her," Legolas began quietly. "I happened upon her as she was washing by the river. A mighty scar on her arm caught my attention. I lingered on it, but she would not tell me where she obtained it. She became angry and hid it from my eyes." Legolas looked into the depths of Aragorn's blue orbs.
Aragorn saw hurt and grief in his friend's eyes.
"Something has happened to her, Aragorn. I felt her pain and it was not physical. That sort of pain has long since passed and another hinders her."
"A scar caused this tension between you?" Aragorn could not keep the astonishment out of his voice.
"Aye. She acted strangely when I found her and even more so when I spoke of the scar. She was volatile and unlike herself."
"We don't know her well enough to recognize what her true self is," Aragorn admitted sadly.
"Istan he farn," Legolas said firmly and Aragorn raised a brow. I know her enough. "This was not like her. Something happened to her and she was upset that I discovered a piece of the puzzle to her past."
Aragorn glanced over at Kaitlyn who appeared to be sleeping, and then back at Legolas.
"It might be best to distance yourself from her," the Ranger said.
Legolas made the motion to reply but Aragorn continued speaking.
"Let her come to you. When she is ready to tell you what happened she will and not before. If you sensed emotional pain from her she may still be healing from whatever foul deed befell her. She has been hiding it well all this time."
Legolas nodded.
"He estel le, mellon nin," Aragorn told Legolas honestly and he put a hand on the elf's shoulder. She trusts you, my friend. "She will come when she is ready."
Legolas nodded again, feeling hope rekindle within him at Aragorn's words.
Aragorn patted Legolas' shoulder and left the Elf to his thoughts.
Legolas gazed at the mortal woman who slept and then off to the east. The evil light from Mordor could be seen even from this distance. There was a ring to destroy and a long journey before it was all over. His friendship with Kaitlyn would mend with time and the ring would be destroyed.
Hope would not be lost.
To be continued…
ObsidianDream2005: Thank you. I hope that you had a lovely New Year as well!
Kage Miko: I'm not giving away any secrets! NO spoilers from this author.
Silver Phoenix101: Thanks about the image. I'm glad that you liked it! Kaitlyn has close friendships with Aragorn and Legolas and she really likes Merry and Pippin and Gimli, but she's not as close with Frodo and Sam and certainly not Boromir. Even though she's been traveling with them for a while, they still don't know who she is or if she can be trusted 100%. I'm hope you enjoyed chapter 13!
Hikage kitsune: Thank you!
Melanie: Thank you so much for your review. I hope that you are continuing to enjoy the story.
Pigeon crap goddess: thanks! I'm glad that you find the pacing of the story and the friendships and relationships as it should be. Hope you liked chapter 13.
Spirit Anduril: Thank you for your constructive crit. If you received my e-mail, I went back and read over ch 1 and were quite right about it. It's been updated and edited a but. Thanks!
Charlie: Thank you!
Anne: Thanks! It's been updated. Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter.