Chapter 5: January, Part One

December 31, X791 11:30PM

It's News Years Eve already? Slowest, yet quickest few months of my life. I look back and recall all the faces of those I killed, or who suffered because of me. I still see and hear shit sometimes. It's better though. Maybe I'm just complacent, but they don't try to break us anymore.

Are you still out there? Ezel, Mard, Franmalth, Keyes? I know those freaks are still alive. I'll fight them ALL for scaring the shit outta us like that! I really hope I don't resort to self harm to calm myself down. Tempesta caught me scratching myself in an "episode," I think. That was awful, emotionally, I mean. It didn't even hurt to scratch my skin bloody. It just heals back up anyway. Angelic wants to borrow my journal again. What's with her and filling up my journal?

After Jackal handed me his book, he stood up and snuck out of his cell, heading to Lamy's cell on the third floor. He walked up the multiple flights of stairs, making little effort to be quiet. Once Jackal got to the third floor, he crouched down, crawling down the long, narrow hallway. It's late at night, but guards were still around. They gave funny looks, but left him alone.

It was dark and quiet. as if the air were holding its breath. Rats shuffled in corners, scurrying away as Jackal came to Lamy's cell, then successfully snuck inside. "Psst. Lamy..." he hissed, keeping quiet.

Lamy wasn't asleep, not in that moment. Jackal sat at the edge of the bed, slouching. Cloud Nine Bellow moon light glowed through the bars of the sealed window, shining down on Lamy's face. She had a mark stretching from her forehead to her chin, and a small healed cut on her bottom lip. Lamy's white-grey bangs grew over her eyes. Jackal could hear her gentle, even breathes in the silence. He reached out to touch her face. She sniffled, and Jackal flinched slightly, fearing that she would wake up. "Lamy." he said, raising his voice a little.

At last, she opened her eyes, sitting up toward Jackal.

"What are you doing here? I thought you didn't like coming to the third floor?" Jackal looked away nervously. Dammit! I didn't plan what to say to her! Jackal though. Lamy sat cross legged. She figured he was here to profess his love for the third time. It was adorable. "What's up?" she whispered again. Jackal gulps. "I uh, I just wanted to uh, see you, before X792..." Jackal trailed off. Lamy smiles and hugs her knees, leaning against her uncomfortable, metal headboard.

"I waited, I know," she chuckled. Jackal looked outside the cell. The clock read 11:51PM. Oh no...

"Lamy, can I tell you something, and you won't laugh?"

"Hm? Okay. What is it?" My favorite part! she squeaked internally. Jackal's tail curled, lashing back and forth on the bed. "Well... I like your eyes, they're like looking into a pink sunset. And your hair's grown long, you know. I like your hair. It reminds me of the snow. I like your smile." Jackal clears his throat. Lamy didn't say anything. She couldn't break the spell just yet. "... Your smile used to be creepy, you know?" What the fuck, Jackal. "And sometimes it looked mischievous, and greedy. I liked your fierce expressions too, but your smile... I just love your face."

"U-Um..." Lamy began, but trailed off. Jackal crawls over to her, and cups is hand over her cheek. Lamy met his gaze, mouth slightly open in surprise. Wait, what is he doing?

"You know I love you, Lamy."

Jackal leans closer to her face. Lamy closed her eyes as their lips touched softly in a kiss. Lamy rested her hands at her sides her hand, kissing him back. He pulls away, opening his eyes. He glanced at the clock.

It was 12:01. X791 was over. That shitty, shitty year. He kissed Lamy on New Year's Day, but Jackal didn't care about what time it was anymore.

I... I finally did, he thought. I kissed Lamy. But... she hasn't responded to my confession. Lamy looks up at him. Their eyes lock. She opens her mouth, about to speak. "I... I love you too, but you knew that," she whispers humorously, tilting her head toward his palm.

Jackal sat up in front of her, unsure of what do no now. Lamy smiled a little. "I wanna do that again," she said, crawling to him this time. She kissed him again, but deeper. Their tongues touched and dance around each other. Jackal thought it was slimy and weird. He felt around her hip, inching up her shirt. Lamy didn't stop his from lifting her shirt above her chest. Her breasts had barely grown much. Her nipples were pale as her skin. Jackal separated the kiss and began kissing her neck instead. Lamy gasped and he froze.

"What? You don't like it?" he asked. Lamy snickered. "Sorry, I was caught off guard. I just, I never thought I'd get this close, you know?"

"Oh, yeah. I know," he blushed. "Kyôka told me what I could do, I dunno if this is supposed to feel good."

"This does feel good," she assured him. "I feel safe. Don't stop just yet, we're allowed to do this." She pet him between his ears. He smiled a toothy grin. There couldn't possibly be any doubts that he turned into a cat. He went back to kissing her neck. She tilted her head back, sighing contently. Jackal lifted her shirt more, but paused. Lamy pulled it over her head for him.

"Better?" Jackal stared again, nodding quietly. "Much better."

He kissed down her collarbone and chest. As soon as he reaches her breasts, he thought back to what Kyôka had instructed.

Not every woman will have hard nipples right away. You have to play with them, figure what they like...

Jackal began to massage her small breasts, gently squeezing her nipples between his fingers. She bit her lower lip as her nipples hardened from the stimulation. Jackal nibbled the right one gently.

"Mmh," Lamy hummed. Jackal looks up at her. His eyes were filled with desire. She nodded with approval. "Keep going."

"Uh, w-what next?" he asked quietly. Lamy facepalmed.

"Well, I don't actually know. What did Kyôka tell you?"

"She said I should trim my finger nails," he replied, showing her his nails. Indeed, they were short. He probably chewed them off. "She told me how to finger. She tried to suggest a demonstration, but I'm not a fucking freak like her. She also said we should, uh, put each other first? I don't really get it. I think I'm supposed to use my fingers like a dick."

"Pfft-haha!" she giggled. Jackal pouted. "Don't laugh!"

"Haha! I can't help it," she laughed. "This isn't a performance, you know. Just do whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" he gulped. I want to plow her into next Tuesday, but I don't want to hurt her. What the hell is WRONG with me!?

"Why don't I help you first?" Lamy suggested, point between his legs. Jackal covered his privates. She took his hands. "It's okay, just guide me."

He winced as she groped and rubbed his erection. It wasn't huge, but it was kind of long, not too much. Jackal saw plenty of boners in the showers, but none looked as healthy as his. A guard was standing at the side of their cell. Jackal blushed hard, shushing Lamy.

Titania Daywalker? he guessed by the height of the shadow. Even that stick in the mud liked to watch. There was something seriously freaky about this place."I haven't told anyone," she muttered from outside. Lamy looked nervous as well. Was this still a good idea?

"Don't even think of chickening out."

Jackal looks down. The bulge in his pants didn't go down. I have to get rid of this somehow! But there's a female guard outside!

"I guess we have to finish this," Lamy whispered. Jackal slowly moves his hands to his waist band. He carefully took his pants off, no underwear underneath of course. Lamy was the one who stared in awe this time. He still blushed brightly. "I feel like a pervert, I can't stop staring," she muttered. Jackal slowly rubs the head with his thumb. A small bit of pre-cum came off. Lamy shuffled around to get her pants off, glancing toward the door every so often. Then she scooted closer, until they were both bathed in moonlight.

"Should I... never mind," Jackal shook his head, then pulled his shirt over his head. Indeed, the only scars they once had were completely gone. Jackal was slim with none of the muscle he once had, and Lamy was still petite, but soft.

"Can I finish you?" she asked. Jackal nodded. "Don't just stare at me, lay down," she smiled. The bed made minimal sound as they switched places so he could lay down. Lamy kissed his chest, then licked his nipple the same way he did with hers. He gasped. "A-ah," he breathed, to Lamy's surprise.

"Sensitive kitty," she teased. She looked at his erection as she began to stroke it. Jackal enjoyed the sensation, but it wasn't enough. It was slow too slow.

He rubbed his nipple, pulling it gently. He had never touched himself that way before; it felt nice. Lamy could tell. He barely looked at her out of embarrassment. Lamy began to stroke faster. The blonde felt the ejaculation building, and pre-cum leaked from the head of his throbbing shaft. He suppressed his moaned, squinting his eyes shut.

"Wait, stop!" Lamy sat up and let go of his member.

Jackal stares up at the ceiling, panting softly. She watched him expectantly.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly. "I thought I did it right."

"Y-you did, I just, I didn't wanna finish before you," he confessed. "Why don't you... get on top?"

Lamy's bunny ears flattened. "On, on top?"

One of the best positions is the woman on top, Kyôka said to Jackal. They feel everything more and you go deeper. Try that, I promise you will not be disappointed.

"Will it hurt?"

"I could never hurt you," Jackal promised. She entwined her fingers with his, straddling him. Lamy didn't fully sit, but balanced on her hands and knees.

Don't forget to use your fingers!

Jackal touched her inner thighs, brushing his fingers over them. He rubbed a moist spot, pushing his finger in slowly. He watched Lamy rest her head on his shoulder, whimpering. "Does it feel good?" he asked.

"Yeah," she responded. Heh, look who's shy now, he smirked to himself. Jackal inserted another finger. Her vaginal entrance was still kind of tight, but soaked. He hooked his fingers against her g-spot, at least where Kyôka said it might be. Lamy pushed her hips out, grinding her hips slowly. She didn't moan like Jackal expected. He was doing everything that bird taught him!

"I can't tell if you like it," Jackal whispered.

"I-I do," Lamy frowned. "It's uh, very gentle. It feels good, but not crazy good." Jackal pulled his fingers out, looking at the thick fluids shining in the moonlight. I wonder if it tastes shiny... He began to suck on the two fingers. Lamy lied next to him, looking puzzled.

"What's it like?" she asked. Jackal shrugged. "I dunno, tastes like pussy," he chuckled. Lamy rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Try again, this time with more, uh, motion?"

He propped himself on his left elbow as Lamy spread her legs. Even her pubes were white. He wasn't bothered, it was just like his hair, kind of a bush. He felt her moisture again, pushing his fingers all the way in. This time, he went in and out at an even pace, making sure to stroke the spot she reacted to. She did not know what to do with her hands, so she hid them under her pillow, under her head.

Jackal thrusted his fingers faster. Lamy enjoyed his palm thrusting against her clitoris. Her toes curled as her back arched to feel more of it. She let soft moans escape her throat. Lamy began to feel her arousal heighten.

"Keep going," she whispered. Jackal obliged, practically slapping his palm as he fingered her. She was more wet and pulsing inside. He kept going until the pulsing slowed down, then he did too. That was... wow. He didn't know what to think, watching Lamy's chest rise and fall. He wanted more, but she looked tired.

"Is, is this it?" he asked carefully.

"I don't know. Is it?"

"Do I use my dick again, or..."

"Back to your cell, Jackal." The duo jolted at the sound of Titania Daywalker at the door. She glared at them.

"You may or may not be sterile and we don't need anymore kids here. Now get out!"

January 1, X792 2:48PM

Everyone's avoiding me all of a sudden. Demons and humans already avoid us Demon Gates. The fuck is the problem now? I haven't seen Lamy ANYWHERE! I decide to go outside, hoping to see Angelic and Mollison at least. Kyôka, Minerva, and Sayla all welcomed me with congratulations. idk what I did. Angelic was sitting alone with Mollison. Everyone was giving me the silent treatment, but at least my friends care.

6:23PM

FINALLY SOMETHING HAPPENED. Kyôka and Sayla have been doing god knows what since the afternoon. Minerva and Lamy are ghosts again, as usual! The gals won't tell me where they went or why. They know something, and I WILL find out! Angelic seems more nervous than usual. What's wrong with her? Why is she upset? Who do I havetokill

I'm writing too damn fast... It's not nighttime yet, I think. I've been so off lately, and for some reason, I'm feeling so sad. Am I getting depressed? No, that's impossible for someone like me! God damn it Jackal! You're turning into a weak little human!

9:47PM

Everything. They found out everything. They know I nearly had sex with Lamy. Either that fucking guard said something or the sound travels. Regardless, fuck everybody who has a problem. I don't care if they heard me jacking off. What else was I supposed to do??!

Lamy approached Jackal. Very few followed the couple, interested in what may happen. Lamy sits a couple feet away from him. "So, they found out?" Jackal nods slowly. His eyes seemed to be fighting back anger. Lamy smiles softly. "The females all think I'm some sort of whore now. I don't care though, we had fun." A few continued to stare, however. A few even smirked, as if they had expected him to give in eventually. Jackal got up and stormed off, red in the face.

Jackal rushed into his cell and sat in the corner, crying. Jackal had no idea why he had begun to cry, but the tears would not stop flowing. Jackal whimpered in grief of himself. From many cells down, someone probably heard him. I know I certainly did. The cellmates began to pity Jackal, thinking that it must have been hard falling in love in the same place they might die. Jackal wound up crying for a long while, about half an hour. He blew his nose into his one towel.

Why was I left to live here? Why didn't they just kill us and move on to their next target? I hate being here. Even though we had great moments, delicious food and a cold place to sleep and shower, I don't like these people. They're worse than the devil. Why can't I just be with the people I care about? With Lamy?

Jackal ran his finger through his hair, brushing it off his face. He noticed that his hair had grown past his shoulder since he got there.

I'm calm now. I cried my eyes out, I guess. It's not like I have a heart to cry out. I've never experienced such emotions before dying once. Twice. Did I die twice on Earthland? It felt awful, honestly. I didn't know what to do besides cry. I don't feel like writing anymore. I just want to sleep. Good night.

I'm back with more diary entries from Jackal! :) Hopefully I won't be such a lazy fuck up about , next time I want to write some shit. Sadly, I'm gonna have to cancel the Fairy Hills series. I lost interest in it, and I need to write LESS at a time, so that I can sort of get more done.

27 July 2024: Oh that's fucking ironic

- ML