"IT'S THE THOUGHT 'IHAT COUNTS"
By: Teri White
Five minutes, the nurse said.
You can stay with him for five minutes. He's not conscious yet, you kno_w, so there's nothing you can do.
I can stand by him, was what I told her.
She smiled at me. Job like hers, she's probably used to crazy relatives pleading for just a glimpse of the patient.
So she let me into the room. Even though I'm not a relative. Word rrust have come down from someplace, because she didn't question my right to be there. Her glance, tll_ough, _seemed to say, 'Who is this guy?
I'm just a friend.
Mygod. He looks ... frail. Not the way he usually looks. Not the way h_ -s supposed to look. The man is strong. Tough. Tough as old ra'Whide. 'Iba.t- - the way he is, and that's the way I want him to be now.
But he looks old.
That scares me. Old people die.
Not gonna up and die on me, .are you, Hardcase? That would be a really rott f! thing· to do. You can't die. 'Cause you owe me. You owe me.
That would sound funny to some people, probably. Your friends. Hg_ owes ym? Smarten up, McCormick. The Jl!_ already_gave you_ a place _to live_ food.,. clothes. So what the hell could he_owe you?
They don't understand. What do you owe me, Milt? A life, that's all.
See, beforE= you dragged me, kicking arrl screaming into this whole scene, I didn It expect much. Ch' there were dreams' sure' plenty of thos_e. Winning the Indy 500. Getting rich and famous. Let's-Pretend stuff like that. .BlJ.t as for real life, forget it. Mark lt:Cormick was going nowhere, even if he was going at hyper-speed.
But then, wow, here comes the Lone Ranger and all of a sudden, ol' Skid ha§... expectations.
How's that for a word? Not bad, coming from an autoshop class scholar, right?
ctations. Do you understarrl the ... the significance of that, Milt? I _mean, we 're talking here about a guy who gave up expecting much when he was five years old- -Don't expect things, and you won't be disappointed.
Jesus, Hardcase you took that guy and made a believer out of him. I think, maybe, Ican amount to something. With you backing me up.
After all, isn't that what a friend is for? You back me up, arrl I back you p Even -qb_ •i_t ' s not easy.
It scares me to see you like this. Can you feel me holding your hand? guess not, 'cause if you could, you'd open your eyes and chew me out.
-Nah,
- ·-
Corre on, Milt, ope_ your eyeE and give me hell, why don_'_t: _you?
- - - - - - .- - ••
You have reason to be mad, I know.. . And - I 'm real sorry A friend_ should
back yo-u up-, and where was I when you needed me? That guy never should' ve got
-fne-shot off. Wouldn't have, if I'da been paying attention to him. But I wasn't, and you want to know why? It Is because I was watching you. Hardcastle the
·Jurist. You're flm to watch on the bench. At least you are when it's not
y u' re sendin-g- way.
Hardcase Hardcastle. _ A. tough piece _of work-all rigb.t. The don't make them li OtLan.y ..rrore.
So I was watching Judge Roy Bean in action. And he shot you. That's my excuse, and you' re right to be pissed at me. I knew what a crazy guy he was.
I_f_y -c!_ - t-_ ppe_r1s to- ?
God there's nothiJ)g l; being a_s lfis_h bastar i. But I can't help thinking about it. -rt s_ like ... well, like. my life used to be a void. A black hole, you know?_ to be your friend changed that. But now I can see it waiting fut-me a in tha_t. qamned emptiness .
Alm, .
Yeah. those are tear.s_Y-,QU _feel on_my face. So about that._
-Don't die,
J-u-s-t ... dOQ.' Lq:j_e_.
I need tQ_lfilk to_ ._ .See,.. I kills:d the . . Yeah,_!_ _killed him-1mQ_ that
make feel so bad_. I didn't to sh..9ot2 but he forced ire. _ Lil;se he_.was
- - ·-
appointit_!g me his ex cutioner. t{e ,M:LJ,.t. _ and don't l:t that_..
- •
,
Toe,;ypr_se art about it is _l_.!m" -not _sure if I . killed him t9 _save Sand or be-c-a-use of at -he did toyou.- M-aybe it was ·a:-ii.ttleof bo£h.
I need to talk o you about i1=
That nurse, she' s waiting for me to go now. And I promised Frank I'd come back to headquarters and lay the whole story on him. But I needed to see you fir_st. So I gotta split.
But I' 11 be back. . And you be here,. understand? You be here. I need you, and so you just -Eeer not die: .:You open tip-·those eyes·and look at me when I come back. -
Okay, lady, okay, I'm going.
Maybe I m,Qul -tell her... let her know how special you are, and that they should take extra good care of Judge Miiton C. Hardcastle.
•
But she'd only look at me weird again. She wouldn't understc1nd.
Y,'ou do_ o , right, Hardcase? You tmderstand wh_atI'm trying to say. I love you.