RIDE

"Whoo!" Ochako shouted as her horse leapt across the field. "Faster!"

Her horse neighed, having the time of its life as it leapt without gravity and bounded like a deer. In the next field over, Mineta glumly kicked his heels on the side of the miniature pony he sat upon.

"Come on, you lazy midget, move!"

The pony let out a loud fart, then flopped over on its side, pinning Mineta underneath it. Mineta wriggled desperately as the stench reached his nose.

"Gah, it burns! Cut it off! Cut off my leg! Heck, cut both of them off, just make it stop!"

Over in another field, Sato carried a very confused horse on his back, all the while chugging cola and snorting sugar to maintain his muscular physique. Ojiro ran for his life as a herd of horses chased after him, all of them trying to chomp on his tail because it looked like a lump of hay at the end. Jiro played guitar for a very attentive group of equines, and Hagakure made a herd very confused by all the treats floating towards them.

At a race track, Iida crouched at the starting line alongside four horses. At Momo's gunshot, they all took off. Most horses got left in the dust, but one had rockets strapped to its sides. The ending was a photo finish, with the horse's tongue stuck out a millimeter ahead.

"To be beaten by such a slim margin!" Iida bemoaned. "Truly I have learned a valuable lesson here today, to give my all to every task, especially my tongue!"

At a basketball court, Kaminari twirled a basketball in his hands. He concentrated on channeling the essence of all the great basketball stars as he lined up his shot. He dribbled twice, planted his feet, then leapt into the air.

"Kobe!"

The basketball sailed past the hoop and bonked Mineta on the head.

"Dang it!" Kaminari said. "That's an E."

A horse standing on two hooves and wearing a sweatband nickered smugly and spun a basketball on one hoof.

"Yeah yeah," Kaminari said. "Whatever. You haven't beaten me just yet. I challenge you to a best out of seven!"

The horse rolled its eyes, stomped halfway across the field, and planted a shot straight through the net.

Bakugo dumped an entire barrel of protein powder into a funnel. "Machines think they're better than you," Bakugo snarled. "They say they've got the power of a hundred horses. If that's the case, then you need the power of two hundred!"

The horse prayed to whatever horse gods might listen, but the gods were deaf to its muffled sounds of force feeding.

Bakugo glared at Izuku as he dumped a truckload of raw eggs in after it. "Just you wait. Your precious vehicles will soon be obsolete!"

Izuku gently tapped the sides of the horse he sat upon. "I believe my horse is broken."

The horse, its legs splayed out and spine shattered, let out a feeble wheeze.

499

No horses were harmed in the making of this drabble, and the single human casualty will not be missed.