PENGUINS

Four penguins relaxed in lounge chairs on a beach. One penguin's stomach let out a loud ringing noise. The penguin horked up a landline phone.

"I don't know who you are or how you got this number," Skipper said, "But I will find you, and I will slap you until I know you better than your own mother." Skipper paused. "Nezu! You son of a bitch, how've you been? Uh-huh. Just like the Kremlin Fiasco, am I right? Yep, no problemo."

Skipper shoved the phone back into Riko's mouth. He choked trying to swallow it.

"Look alive, men. We've got a mission."

"Oh boy!" Private shouted. "Are we assassinating another American president?"

"Even better. Someone's been replacing all the birds with robots. We'll blend in, find the one responsible and bring them to justice. Any questions?"

Riko was turning blue around the beak. Skipper gave him a hearty slap on the back, and the phone hit his stomach with an audible plop.

"Excellent. Riko, supply drop for Operation Sexy Decoy."

Riko saluted and horked up a massive steel crate. Skipper popped it open and handed Kowalski a clipboard and a radio transceiver. "Draw the nearest all-male crew."

"Did you know, the maritime industry has a twenty-two to one-"

"Don't make me take away that clipboard Kowalski."

Kowalski clacked his beak shut. Skipper yanked out a life-sized doll, a wig, and some makeup. "Private, you're our decoy. Time to bring out your inner femme fatale."

Private gulped. One makeover section, he looked like a particularly ugly penguin in drag.

"Perfect! Now we just need-"

"Ship inbound," Kowalski announced.

"And that's our cue. Scramble men!"

The ship beached, lowered its gangplank, and let out several sailors. Private waved the doll and said, "Um, hello cuties! Those clothes look awfully hot. Why don't you take them off, and, uh, change into swimsuits?"

The sailors gawked at the shuffling and squawking mannequin. One asked, "I'm confused. Why are we investigating the weird squawking?"

The captain harrumphed. "That was an emergency broadcast. Protocol demands we investigate it."

"I know, but…"

Seeing all the humans distracted, Skipper crept up behind the captain, karate-chopped him in the neck, and plucked the ship's keys from his pocket.

"We got the goods. Scramble!"

The four penguins drove the ship off the beach and sailed towards the horizon.

"Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave."

The sailors watched four waving penguins disappear with their boat. "Did penguins just steal our boat?"

"We never speak of this again."

"But-"

"Never. Again."

The captain groaned and woozily sat up. "Ugh, what happened? Felt like I got slapped with a flipper."

"Uh, sir, it was-"

"The League of Villains!" one sailor hastily cut in. "They took you hostage and stole our boat."

The captain processed this for a moment as the sailors all sweated. Then he said, "Those darn League of Villains! Sailors, grab your harpoons. We're going villain hunting."

"This feels wrong," one sailor remarked.

"Would you rather stab some penguins?"

"Point."

500

No one guessed the penguins. I even left a hint in the last chapter. Oh well.

I am rather amused by the guesses of Inko, and in another universe, she might've gone full Iron Man/Batman on somebody.

The League of Bakugos is another fun idea. Personally I'd think Bakugo would think they're all robot clones of himself.

Anyone want to guess what Quirks the penguins have? I've shown two of them so far.