The saloon was closed. The doors were locked. The lights were out. But it wasn't empty. Inside, only one person stood at the bar, holding a glass of whiskey. His hair was a mess and he'd shed his suit jacket and draped it haphazardly over the bar. But his cufflinks were meticulously buttoned, as always. It was a good thing the saloon was closed and empty. The governor could never be seen looking any less than his best.
Lucas Bouchard wasn't supposed to be back in Hope Valley, but for some reason, he couldn't seem to keep himself away. There was just something about this place. It was the only town that had ever felt like home. For a while, he thought he was going to put down roots here. Get married, have a family. But somehow, the longing of bigger and greater things always seemed to get in the way. Lucas couldn't seem to let go of his dreams even if he tried.
He'd always felt like he was destined for something bigger. Lucas couldn't explain it. He had loved Elizabeth and he had loved Little Jack. He'd come to realize that their paths were diverging, that he and Elizabeth had different dreams and wants. But sometimes he wondered; was his love just not enough? What had he done wrong? Could he have done something different? Could he have loved Elizabeth better? If he hadn't run for governor, would Little Jack be calling him 'Daddy' instead of 'buddy'?
Lucas supposed it didn't really matter. After all, he'd seen Nathan and Elizabeth together and not just at Mike and Mei's wedding. He'd watched them a lot over the years. First, out of jealousy, but now, it was almost out of curiosity. There was obviously something between them, something that went beyond physical attraction. They had a deep connection that couldn't be described in words. It was something that Lucas knew he and Elizabeth had never had. But now Lucas wondered- could he ever have that? Was that kind of love, that kind of interconnected relationship, where you could have a whole conversation without saying a word, possible for him? Sometimes, Lucas wasn't so sure. Sometimes, he didn't think he had it in him.
Standing in the dark, Lucas felt his thoughts drift to Jeanette, as they often did nowadays. She'd been behind bars for a little over six months now, but he still couldn't bring himself to visit her. He wanted to, though he didn't know why. Henry told him it was a bad idea, that it would only bring him more bad press, but for some reason, Lucas couldn't let it go. It felt like things were still unfinished between him and Jeanette. He suspected that she still had unresolved feelings for him. She'd clearly shown that, but hadn't gone so far as to say it out loud. Lucas just felt that he needed to tell her once and for all that it was over between them. He didn't feel like he could truly move on until he did.
With a heavy sigh and a groan, Lucas set down his glass of whiskey, which he still had yet to take a drink out of. Nathan had told him once that he thought too much and honestly, Lucas agreed with him. (Not that he would ever admit that to Nathan though.) Lucas often felt as if his thoughts had a mind of their own. He'd always been a man of big ideas and he'd never hesitated to execute them. He had done that with Elizabeth one too many times.
Lucas shook his head at himself. "Me and my grand gestures," he muttered into the darkness. "A lot of good they've done me." Letting out another sigh, Lucas went around the bar and dumped out his glass. Picking up his jacket, Lucas took one last look around the saloon. This place had been his home, his life, for five years. It still felt strange that it wasn't really his anymore.
Silently, Lucas slipped out the back door and withdrew the one key from his pants pocket. Lee had been generous enough to give Lucas the spare key, saying that he was welcome anytime, but Lucas knew the truth. There was nothing left for him in Hope Valley anymore. If only he could figure out why he kept coming back.
Lucas locked the door and returned the key to his pocket. He slipped on his jacket as a crisp fall breeze swept through the air. Lucas adjusted his cufflinks one more time before stepping away from the door. For a second, he just stood there, staring at that closed door, as he contemplated his life choices.
What if he'd never run for governor? Was he even doing a good job? Or had he just made everything worse? What if he had never come to Hope Valley? Lucas was sure that would have left Elizabeth much happier. She would've never had to choose between him and Nathan. She would have picked Nathan, who had been the best choice all along.
Lucas felt like an imposter in the only town he would ever call home. But then again, Lucas had always been a traveler. Truthfully, he'd always been a runner. Hadn't Nathan had to come after him at least twice when Lucas had fled town?
"Why did I ever think I could make a difference?" Lucas whispered. Shaking his head, Lucas finally turned around. Slowly, he walked down the street, the loose gravel crunching underneath his shoes. He still owned a small house in Hope Valley. It mostly sat empty in its place down the street from the saloon, but Lucas hadn't had the heart to sell it just yet.
Now, he wondered if it was finally time. There was nothing keeping him here. Maybe it would hurt a lot less if he just cut ties with this place. Leave the memories of what he had lost behind. Blaze a new trail. Chart a new course. Lucas seemed to be awfully good at that. But maybe this time, it would actually turn out right. Maybe this time, Lucas would actually end up where he was supposed to be. If only he knew where that was.