Chapter 2: champagne problems
You booked the night train for a reason
So you could sit there in this hurt
Bustling crowds or silent sleepers
You're not sure which is worse
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5 months later.
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It was half past nine and the people from the moving company were late.
She tried to relax and keep her obsessive tendencies under control, but their tardiness risked messing up her tidy schedule, having to face her landlord and imploring him not to throw all of her stuff out of the window.
Sakura had not been sleeping well for a few months now. Partly due to her residency, and partly because her heart was broken and life sucked.
Today was the day when she would finally move out the rest of her furniture, and she'd been up and ready by seven in the morning.
She decided to wear comfortable clothes, a pair of black yoga leggings and an oversized orange hoodie that probably belonged to Naruto. All of her stuff was neatly packed into labelled boxes, and she didn't have a single utensil available, so making coffee was out of the question.
Annoyed by her situation, she surveyed her living room.
The place she was moving out from wasn't comfortable by any means, but it was a decent place.
She had first rented it when she was a student, with a student budget. The 1-bedroom had a small kitchen and a dining-living space that took up most of the space. One faulty washing machine and one leaky bathroom.
The pinkette made her way into her bedroom and checked every cabinet and little crevice. Her landlord had offered to buy her bed frame and mattress, and she had agreed happily.
As she sat on it, she was flooded with memories.
Ino crushing with her after a night out drinking tequila, all the nights she stayed up with Naruto watching crappy horror movies during their university days.
Most recently, the room had witnessed tears of happiness and squeals of excitement when Hinata told her she was pregnant with Naruto's baby.
Out of all the memories, the one she cherished the most was from a Sunday morning.
The night before, Sasuke had texted her he was bringing dinner with him. She could still remember how touched she had felt by the gesture.
Whilst they shared a greasy Chinese, she remembered seeing dark circles under his eyes, interrupting his beautifully chiselled face. She had asked how he was getting on with work and to her surprise, he had talked to her about his week, and how tired he was because everything at work was about politics and saying the right thing to the right person. And he fucking hated it.
At the time, she had been so taken aback by his behaviour that she hadn't enjoyed it.
Perhaps that was her fault. Sakura suspected that she spent a bit too long projecting her interpretation of his actions and would sometimes tune him out just to scrutinise his every movement.
Was she talking to Sasuke the friend? boyfriend?, lover? partner?. Her anxiety at the unknown made her awkwardly quiet and ever so cautious with her responses.
Sasuke probably picked up on it.
Regardless, that had been the first night, since they had started sleeping together that they slept together on her bed.
She chuckled as she remembered how nervous she had felt when she offered him a message.
Sasuke hadn't been exactly convinced and wrinkled his nose at the smell of the oils she offered.
'Don't make me smell like a girl, Sakura'.
The pinkette had laughed at his request, partially ignoring him.
Maybe that had been a mistake as well. She had been unknowingly idolising and romanticising their relationship for so many years that whenever reality offered an alternative to her narrative, she pushed back.
In doing so, she reflected, she might have neglected his needs, what he wanted.
That same night, Sasuke fell asleep as she was making her way down his back, just above the dimples on his lower back, he was completely exhausted.
The next morning she woke up to a strange addition in her bed. Sakura was surprised that he was still there. Usually, he would sneak out in the middle of the night, or he would make an excuse about work after he took a shower.
Sakura was grateful for the morning light and took a minute to memorise his features in her mind. How he seemed to prefer to sleep on his stomach with one arm as a pillow.
She drew an image in her head of how his two-day beard grew from his neck to his cheeks, and how his long lashes- how was he allowed to have such beautiful eyelashes? Tangled together at the corner of his eyes.
She realised his skin had become a bit more translucent near his eyes and couldn't resist touching one of the little veins that ran down to his cheek.
Sakura felt vulnerable looking at him and a strong feeling of love overcame her. She wanted to protect this man, to hug him, to kiss him. She felt an ache in her heart for him, because even though he slept naked next to her, she knew he wasn't for her to have.
With trembling lips, she stopped fighting her tears and she placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
Quickly and quietly to not wake him, she slid off her bed and strolled down the hallway to the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee.
As she closed the door, she failed to notice that the dark-haired man was indeed awake, his hand lingering where her lips had been seconds ago.
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The buzz of her phone startled her, she hadn't realised she'd been sitting in her bedroom completely lost in her head.
"Hey Sak, how's the moving going?"
Sakura couldn't help but compare her grumpy demeanour this time in the morning with Naruto's cheery disposition.
"It's … kind of coming along, the van people are late though, and I need to be out of here before lunchtime" she moaned as she ran one hand through her hair.
"Oh no! I'm sure it'll be fine, maybe they got caught up in traffic, right?"
"Anyway, I was calling because we just finished at the doctor's office for our 20-week scan and guess what...?!"
It took Sakura a few seconds to process the information and she stood up in surprise "OH MY GOD!"
"You are going to have … a nephew!".
Sakura squealed "I knew it! I told you it was going to be a boy!... I'mso happy for you guys" her voice breaking at the end.
The pink-haired woman felt how the turmoil of emotions she had just experienced caught up to her, as a sob escaped her.
"Wait! No! Don't cry Sakura…unless It's happy tears, those are allowed! I shed a few of those myself just now, you know?"
Sakura laughed, and for the first time in a long time, she felt lighter by doing so.
Talking to Naruto about the future… it felt good.
She stood up and started pacing "Yes idiot! I'm crying because I'm genuinely happy! God sorry I'm such a mess! I just feel like… "she took a breath "Like things are starting to feel somewhat okay again...?"
Naruto could hardly repress his excitement and went on about Hinata's scan and how they were thinking about moving near her new place, and how relieved he felt at having her physically close because she knew loads about babies, oh but did she? Was she done with her paediatric rotation? Anyways-
Sakura closed her eyes and smiled as her friend rumbled on.
The doorbell rang and the pinkette excused herself from Naruto's monologue.
She looked outside the window and pondered. For the first time in months, since Sasuke walked out of her life, she got the feeling that things were going to be fine… eventually.
Regardless of the pain, how many tears she had cried over him, and how broken her heartfelt, moving forward was the only option she had. The only way out was through this.
Her best friend was going to become a father. He was moving on.
She was going to take of them, Sakura was going to make sure Hinata and the baby, were safe and happy.
After all, they were her family.
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12 months later
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She would've made such a lovely bride
What a shame she's fucked in the head, they said
But you'll find the real thing instead
She'll patch up your tapestry that I shred
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It was just a little over two degrees which made Sakura fold her knitted scarf around her neck tightly as she walked through the residential area of Kamimeguro, just about ten minutes away from Nakameguro station, in West Tokyo.
She couldn't quite determine why she had chosen to walk to Hinata and Naruto's, since it was a good thirty-five minutes' walk from her apartment, right on the opposite side of the Meguro River, and it wasfreezing.
She loved to think they'd chosen that part of town to be near her, but in reality, they had probably wanted to move as far away from Hinata's family as they could.
She looked at her phone as she walked, it was twenty-to-eight on a cold March night and she was ten minutes late to her birthday party. Sakura passed a coffee place that was just closing and then took a right, at the very end of the street stood the Uzumaki residence.
The pink-haired medic rang at the door, 20 minutes late.
"What took you so long?!" Naruto asked as he opened the door and threw himself at her with big arms open.
Sakura laughed and tried to shove him off, she was finding it hard to breathe properly between Naruto's hug and the amount of clothes she had on.
"Oi! Let go of me!" She shouted between giggles.
He complied but instead attacked her cheeks "I'm just so happy you are here! And it's your birthday! You are so old now!"
They made their way inside as Sakura faked outraged punches at Naruto and he made kissy faces at her "You are a married man for fuck's sake, where is that wife of yours?"
Back inside the house, everyone received her with warm hugs and good wishes, thankfully not as invasive as Naruto.
Ino faked a cry on Sai's shoulder because 'oh they were getting so old'
Shikamaru greeted her and handed her a wrapped book 'I heard it was really good'
Lee held on to her for a little bit too long until Tenten pushed him away leaving Neji looking awkwardly at her.
Finally, Kakashi was, of course, late.
She noticed that all of her high school friends were there, along with a few people from pre-med and med school as well. They all seemed to be enjoying themselves and getting along with each other, surprisingly.
"Hey! birthday girl…"
Sakura turned around, a confused frown on her face when she couldn't place the voice.
"Kiba! What areyoudoing here?"
The man chuckled and raised a very manly eyebrow at her "I mean, I can leave if you want me to…" he faked embarrassment as he pointed to the door with a playful smile on his face.
Sakura blushed and fumbled as she tried to explain herself "What! No! I just-… I didn't know you knew- I mean, my birthday and… Naruto? How?" She was genuinely confused to see him there, confused but very pleased.
Kiba laid a hand on her shoulder to reassure her "He called me last week letting me know you guys were having a little reunion and invited me to join..."
She smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear "It's great to see you here, I just wasn't expecting it at all!"
Sakura pointed to the sofa and continued "Tell me how things are going, how's Hana doing?"
Across the room, Naruto hugged his wife from behind as he watched, not in a particularly discreet manner, how his friend interacted with the brown-haired man.
Whilst Hinata was extremely fond of him, Naruto had only run into him at a few parties a couple of times.
Kiba had attended secondary school with Hinata and ended up assisting one of Sakura's modules during their first years at university. For reasons that he probably never paid attention to, the guy had decided to drop out from their pre-med track for an engineering programme. He remembered Sakura saying something about medical equipment, prostheses and that sort of thing.
Hinata turned her face to softly kiss the blonde on the neck "I see what you did there…" she said pointing her glass towards the couple.
Naruto chuckled as he rested his chin on his wife's shoulder.
"I have no idea about what you are talking about"
Hinata handed him her glass and turned to make sure he understood the look she was giving him -don't meddle. She pushed one finger on his cheek for emphasis, which was probably hardly noticed as per her husband's explosive laughter.
She grabbed a tray with snacks and made her way around the living room making sure everyone had a chance to try the paprika prawns.
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After a while, Sakura excused herself and left Kiba talking with Shikamaru and Shino. They knew each other from the science lab, so she was sure they would make him feel comfortable.
It wasn't like he needed it though, the boy had such a charming personality, that she doubted he ever felt uncomfortable, even if he was in a room full of new acquaintances.
Taking the stairs to the second floor, she made her way to the quieter side of the house. She suspected Boruto was already down for the day, but she wanted to see his chubby cheeks and smell his delicious baby scent.
She opened the second door to the right. The lights were dim and Hinata was singing a soft lullaby to the baby in her arms. Sakura slowly made her way inside the room, trying to make as little noise as possible.
Boruto was asleep in his mother's arms, his mouth slightly open. He had Naruto's blonde hair and Hinata's grey eyes. The pink-haired haired kissed him lightly on his head and moved aside letting Hinata pass through, she focused her attention on his little bookshelf, which was already packed with books. Of course, he was Hinata's baby.
Suddenly she stopped and grabbed one from the top shelf
"Oh c'mon!"she complained"I was going to get him the same thing" she whispered with a furrowed brow "Who beat me?"
Hinata turned around slowly, bottle in hand.
"Sasuke sent that over a few days ago"
Sakura felt like she had swallowed an extremely sour candy. Sakura glanced at her friend, but Hinata wasn't quick enough to hide her pity.
Of course, he would think of getting him such a thoughtful present, he was stupidly smart.
And so was she.
She picked up the book and opened it, as Hinata arranged a row of bottles and picked up around the room, trying to give her some space.
The medic could perfectly picture him walking through a bookstore in New York with a coffee(black),pondering about finding something entertaining for Boruto yet still educative and stimulating for a baby. Just like she had done.
She looked up suddenly, surprised at the sudden lump that formed in her throat.
"Hey…" Hinata said as made her way to where she was standing and stroked her arm. She offered her one of Boruto's clothes with a sympathetic smile "It's okay for you to feel like this…"
The medic chuckled miserably, purposefully avoiding eye contact "How can it be normal to feel like I'm not able to enjoy myself because every time- everywhere I go… I'm reminded of him?" she whispered.
The new mother gently grabbed her friend's hand "Do you want me to be honest with you?"
Sakura nodded
"You are always going to miss him no matter what" Hinata stepped closer to her "He was an important part of your life growing up, and the three of you went through a lot together, you need to accept it..." Hinata cupped her cheek and forced her to look at her bright grey eyes.
Love slipped beyond your reaches
And I couldn't give a reason
"People like Sasuke… you need to make peace with the fact that he will always have a piece of your heart"
Hinata gently insisted "But you will reach a point, in the future...maybe a year from now, who knows? And you will think about him, and it will hurt a little bit less every time" The honesty and compassion in the grey-eyed woman made Sakura tear up again.
Sakura was tired of feeling incomplete, depressed and utterlyalone. She rationalised her sorrow as being right in the middle of a tunnel, she was grieving, and she knew there was a light at the end.
Some days she could see it and it looked bright. Others, she couldn't see anything, it was utterly dark.
But it was just a matter of finding her way and getting through to the other side. It was hard, extremely taxing trying to put her heart together.
She felt constantly unsure about whether she'd ever meet someone like him. She felt terrified when she would wake up after dreaming of his smile. Would anything ever compare? What if one says she woke up and couldn't remember his smell?
What if the sadness never goes away?
Sakura couldn't muster the energy to look at Hinata, but before her friend could say anything else, they both turned at the sound of a cute babble.
Boruto lay wide awake in his crib looking over at them with curiosity.
The pinkette couldn't contain her soft giggles. "What are you doing up past your bedtime? I bet you knew it was my birthday, so you wanted to give me loads of kisses and cuddles" she cooed as she picked Boruto up.
Hinata closed her eyes behind Sakura's back. Her heart constricted painfully.
She desperately wanted her friend to be happy, she deserved the world.
I never was ready, so I watched you go
Sometimes you just don't know the answer
'Til someone's on their knees and asks you
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Notes:
For reference, they are somewhere around their late 20s now, it's been around a year since Sauce left.
I visited Japan earlier this year and walking around the places where this story takes place was very emotional.