A/N at the end of the chapter
CHAPTER 12
{POV: Satoru Gojo}
«It's a long story.»
Suzue, sitting next to him, her fingers twisted and turned in her lap, a nervous habit that revealed just how uneasy she was, unsure of where to start; finally, she seemed ready to tell everything after taking a deep breath.
«I think... I have to start from when, a few weeks ago, I was assigned a mission by the higher-ups, directly from the Zenin clan leaders... to eliminate Sukuna's vessel. It had to look like an accident.»
The last words were heavy, and Satoru noticed how her shoulders had tensed up. This wasn't entirely news to him—he had long suspected something like this. From the very beginning, Suzue's presence at the school had been suspicious. She was too transparent, too earnest to be a successful spy, and her discomfort with the task she had been assigned had always been apparent. But hearing her admit it out loud, seeing how it tore at her, made the reality of it all the more real.
Suzue seemed to misinterpret his silence, her anxiety rising as she hurried to justify herself. There was a desperate edge to her voice, a need to explain that spoke to the guilt she felt.
«I didn't want to do it! Killing a kid? I've only ever exorcised curses; it was crazy for them to think I could do it. And under the supervision of Satoru Gojo, no less... I tried to explain my reasons, but as you can imagine, I'm not very persuasive, and no one ever listens when I speak...»
Her voice wavered, and for the first time, she dared to look up from her hands and meet his gaze. Satoru could see the turmoil in her eyes—the fear, the shame, and the desperate need for him to understand.
He could see that she was expecting judgment or disappointment from him, but he felt neither. Satoru, sensing the need to lighten the mood, couldn't resist adding a bit of his trademark humor. With a slight smirk, he gently interrupted her, his voice carrying that familiar mix of confidence and teasing. «Hey, I listen when you speak.» The tension in her shoulders eased slightly, and she blinked, as if surprised by his response. He offered her a weak smile, one that was meant to convey that he was on her side, that he understood. «Do you think I hadn't already figured all this out? No offense, but... You're a terrible spy, always been an open book.»
His attempt at humor worked, at least a little. Suzue's eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, she looked almost offended. A soft blush spread across her cheeks, the pink standing out against the pallor of her skin. She looked away, clearly flustered, and Satoru couldn't help but feel a small sense of victory. For a second, she looked like she might argue, but then her expression softened. She sighed, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly as she realized that he wasn't angry with her. If anything, his words were meant to reassure her, to let her know that he wasn't holding anything against her.
«I... They imposed a binding vow on me, but I thought I had everything under control; I saw a way out, I wanted to use this opportunity to distance myself from them definitively—»
Satoru could see that she was getting worked up again, her voice gaining a frantic edge as she tried to explain herself. He reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder, his touch gentle but firm. The last thing he wanted was for her to spiral into guilt and self-recrimination. They were past that. «Suzue,» he began softly, his tone gentle but firm. «You don't need to justify yourself to me. Their methods are well known to me; those bastards put you in an impossible position.»
His words were meant to comfort her, to let her know that he understood the kind of pressure she had been under. She had been carrying this weight alone, thinking that she had to defend her actions to him, and now that weight was starting to lift.
The Zenin clan's cruelty and manipulation were no secret to him; they were masters of coercion, twisting people into doing their bidding through fear and control. The fact that they had imposed a binding vow on Suzue only solidified his contempt for them. The thought of what they had put her through—forcing her to believe she had no other choice but to follow their orders—made his blood boil.
As he spoke, he observed her closely, taking in every small detail—the way her hands trembled slightly, the way her eyes flickered with emotion, the way she seemed so small and vulnerable sitting next to him. In that moment, all his anger and frustration weren't directed at her, but at the people who had forced this situation.
Suzue looked up at him, her eyes filled with a mix of relief and gratitude. For the first time since they had begun this conversation, she seemed to relax, if only slightly. She took a deep breath, as if gathering her strength, before speaking again.
«And then, when I got here, everything went wrong.» Suzue's voice trembled with frustration as she continued, her hands clenching into fists in her lap. «Every time I came into contact with Sukuna's cursed energy, I was hit by those annoying visions... I lost control and almost hurt Yuji.» She ran a hand through her hair, messing it up even more, her red eyes full of frustration. «And then, three days ago, just after you left for that stupid, pointless mission... »
Suzue's voice wavered, and Satoru couldn't help but wince internally at the jab. Whether it was intentional or not, it hit home, and he felt a fresh wave of guilt. He should have been there. He should have known that something like this would happen.
«The higher-ups must have gotten tired of waiting for my timing and sent the first-years against that special-grade curse; it was clearly a trap, but the reports were all in order, and it seemed under control. I couldn't find an excuse to oppose it... I thought if you had deemed me capable of handling it, then I could. I went there with them, believing I could keep everything under control, but... »
She trailed off, her voice faltering as she seemed to relive every harrowing moment in her mind. Satoru noticed the tears forming at the corners of her red eyes, her composure starting to crumble. He wanted to reach out, to say something comforting, but he held back, knowing that she needed to get this out. She needed to tell her story, and he needed to listen.
«But...?» he prompted gently, sensing that there was more she needed to say.
«...But the situation escalated quickly. I don't think even the higher-ups could have predicted Sukuna emerging and causing that mess.» Her hands trembled slightly as she spoke, and her voice betrayed the weight of the emotions she was trying to hold back.
He wasn't exactly the poster child for emotional sensitivity, but even he could recognize when someone was nearing their breaking point. And Suzue? She was right there on the edge, teetering precariously between holding it together and completely falling apart.
«I really tried my best to hold him off and buy time for Yuji to regain control, but that monster is incredibly strong. Even during the fight, those damn visions wouldn't leave me alone, and then he started to... hurt me... »
Suzue's voice began to break under the weight of the emotions and memories she was reliving, and the tears that had been held back now started to fall down her cheeks. Every single word seemed to come out with immense difficulty, as if she were reliving every single blow received from the King of Curses.
"Come on, Suzue." he thought, his frustration bubbling up. "You faced Sukuna. You held your own against that psycho. Do you realize how insane that is? Most people would have been dead within seconds!" It was more than any other random sorcerer could have done. He quickly noted that thought in his head; he would definitely turn that situation against the higher-ups and use it to their advantage, and he already had exactly how in mind
But it was clear she didn't see it that way. She saw herself as weak, as someone who had failed, and that... that made him want to shake some sense into her.
But instead of shaking her—because let's face it, that would probably do more harm than good—he let her continue, her words coming faster now, almost as if she were trying to rid herself of the memory as quickly as possible.
«It was hell... He started to torment me, to play with my fears. He began targeting Megumi too. I couldn't react; I felt completely powerless. I felt... weak, useless. Every time I thought I had a plan, he would destroy it effortlessly.» Her voice cracked, her breath becoming irregular. «And then... then he ripped out Yuji's heart... He tore it out right in front of me and threw it away as if it were worthless... I tried to stay calm, but when I saw Yuji's heart... There was blood everywhere and... I felt the binding vow dissolve, he was dead... He was effectively dead...»
Suzue's eyes widened as she relived that moment, her breath becoming irregular, and sobs shaking her body. He knew he should let her talk, let her get it all out. But damn it, seeing those tears, hearing her voice crack under the pressure of what she was trying to say—it was like a knife twisting in his chest. And Gojo Satoru didn't like feeling that way. At all.
He decided it was time to intervene before she self-destructed in front of him. He could feel her slipping further into the memory, and that's when Satoru decided enough was enough. He wasn't exactly Mr. Comfort, but he could try. He had to try.
He moved quickly, kneeling in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders. The touch was meant to be grounding, to pull her back to the present.
«Hey, hey,» he said softly, trying to catch her gaze. Her eyes were distant, lost in the past, but he wasn't going to let her stay there. Not if he had anything to say about it. «it's okay. You don't have to relive it all right now.»
For a moment, it didn't seem like his words were getting through. Her sobs continued to shake her frame, and he could feel the tension in her muscles, the way her body trembled beneath his hands. But he didn't let go. He kept his grip firm, steady—something for her to hold on to.
«Hey, listen... » he began, trying to find a way to calm her. But his words seemed not to reach her. She was trapped in that moment, reliving the horror of seeing Yuji's heart ripped out.
Satoru's frustration grew. «Suzue, breathe, you're not weak or useless. You survived because you're strong, what you did was incredible. And the first-years are all alive, including Yuji; you saved them.» He said it with as much conviction as he could muster, hoping to anchor her to reality, even though he was still missing the piece that took Yuji from dead to alive.
She didn't respond immediately, her sobs still shaking her frame, but he could see her trying to focus on him, trying to pull herself out of the spiral she was in. Her eyes, filled with so much pain, locked onto his, and for a moment, the world seemed to narrow down to just the two of them. He could feel the tension in her muscles, the tremor in her shoulders as she tried to stifle the sobs. For a moment, Satoru thought he had reached her.
He couldn't help but let a bit of his usual bravado slip into his voice, hoping that maybe—just maybe—it would help lighten the mood, even just a little. But he'd be damned if he didn't give her all the encouragement he could.
«Besides,» he added with a small smirk, «how many people can say they went toe-to-toe with Sukuna and lived to tell the tale? That's pretty badass, if you ask me.»
He saw a flicker of something in her eyes—was that a hint of a smile? It was fleeting, but it was there. And that gave him hope. She wasn't broken. Bent, maybe, but not broken.
However, suddenly, she lowered her gaze again, her eyes becoming thoughtful, as if she were on the verge of saying something important. Satoru tilted his head slightly, trying to meet her eyes to decipher her thoughts, but she seemed again elusive, distant.
«... Suzue? » he asked in a gentle but suspicious tone.
And that's when she dropped the bombshell.
«...I accepted a binding vow with Sukuna, to make him regenerate Yuji's heart.» She avoided his gaze, her head lowered as if she wanted to hide.
The words came out so quickly, so quietly, that for a split second, Satoru thought he had misheard her. But no, he had heard her correctly. And the implications of what she had just confessed hit him like a ton of bricks.
«No, wait...» Satoru felt a nervous smile twitch at his lips, as if his brain was trying to soften the blow with humor. «You... Did what?» his voice laced with disbelief and something close to concern. He wasn't sure what he'd expected her to say, but this? This was on a whole different level of messed up.
He repeated incredulously, trying to ensure he had understood correctly. Suzue nodded weakly, the tears still falling as she tried to explain. He stared at her, trying to process what she had just said. A binding vow with Sukuna? That was like signing a deal with the devil—no, worse than that. It was like handing the devil a blank check and hoping he wouldn't cash it in. And Suzue... sweet, kind-hearted Suzue... had just signed her name on the dotted line.
For a split second, Satoru wasn't sure what to do. Should he be angry? Concerned? Impressed? Maybe a little of all three?
Suzue didn't look up, her gaze fixed on the floor as if it held the answers to all her problems. The tension between them was palpable, a heavy silence filled with unspoken fears and doubts. She was trembling slightly, the weight of her confession pressing down on her.
«I saw no other way out...» she said between sobs, her voice broken by emotion and exhaustion. Satoru stood up, moving slightly away from her, his mind working frantically to comprehend the implications of that vow.
Involuntarily, his voice began to rise as the full weight of the situation hit him. «A binding vow with Sukuna? Suzue, what did he ask in return?»
Suzue recoiled at his tone, her body curling in on itself as if trying to make herself smaller. Her voice was shaky, filled with a mix of regret and fear. «I... owe him one favor. Whenever he asks for it but—»
«Suzue, you gave him a blank check!» Satoru's exclamation echoed in the room, his tone angry and worried, as he rubbed his eyes in frustration, trying to regain control of his emotions. His body was tense, and his gaze was a mix of frustration and fear. The anger in his voice was undeniable, but it wasn't directed at her—not really. It was directed at the situation, at the sheer insanity of what she had been forced to do. His body was tense, his gaze sharp as he tried to regain control of his emotions.
«He could ask you for anything at any time! Didn't you think it would then fall on us, on me, to stop you in the worst-case scenario?»
She, already fragile, burst into even more inconsolable tears, her body shaking as she tried to explain.
«I-I set conditions... He can't ask me to commit massacres or... hurt someone... I'm certainly not happy I did it! And now why are you yelling at me!?»
Her words were broken by sobs, and she was frantically trying to wipe her face with her hands, continuing to stare at him with those red eyes full of emotion and pain.
Satoru stopped, realizing the impact of his words, and suddenly felt like a complete idiot for reacting that way with her. His intention was to console and reassure her, certainly not to make her cry even harder than before.
He tried to make amends, approaching her again with a softer tone, hoping to calm things down. He was used to solving problems with force or cunning, but when it came to "feelings," he was a total disaster.
«No- Listen, I'm not mad at you, it's just... I'm sorry, I got scared of the possible consequences of this binding vow—»
But Suzue, still on the defensive, snapped back with a hint of anger in her voice. Now, she was the one raising her voice, contrary to her usual calm demeanor.
«You scared? What do you think I was feeling? I did my best, and now you... you get mad at me and make me feel like an idiot!?»
He instinctively stepped back. At that moment, Suzue... scared him. He looked down at her, her cheeks still flushed from crying and anger, and wondered how in the world he had ever thought he could manage... this.
He never thought she was capable of getting this angry, especially not with him. For a moment, he felt completely disoriented. She was trying to explain, trying to make him understand the impossible situation she had been in. And he? He had gone and yelled at her, only adding to her pain. Nice going, Satoru, he thought to himself, mentally kicking himself for handling it so poorly. Real smooth.
«No, I— I didn't want to make you feel that way— Damn, I'm not good at this...» he began, his voice softer now, trying to repair the damage he had just done. But she wasn't having it—not yet, at least. How was it that he could fight the most powerful curses without breaking a sweat, but when it came to this, to emotions, he was completely out of his depth?
«You think I'm proud of making a deal with Sukuna? You think I did it lightly?» Suzue's trembling voice was now rising in volume, her anger palpable. «I was desperate! I had to save Yuji, and it was the only way I could see! Do you have any idea how terrifying it was?»
She was right, of course. He hadn't been there. He hadn't seen what she saw, felt what she felt. And now, standing in front of her, he realized just how much he had underestimated the situation—and her. Her tears, mingling with the anger that had momentarily flared, began to slow as the exhaustion took over. She looked at him, her eyes filled with a mix of frustration, hurt, and something that looked like disappointment. It was that look, more than anything, that made him feel like the world's biggest idiot.
«I'm sorry— hey, I'm the idiot here. Suzue, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself. I'm sorry for yelling. The thought of what you went through, what you all went through, while I wasn't here makes me furious.» Satoru said, his voice tinged with a desperation of his own. He wasn't used to being on this side of things, wasn't used to feeling so... helpless.
She looked at him, the anger in her eyes slowly fading, replaced by a weariness that seemed to settle into her very bones. «Then tell me clearly instead of yelling...» he whispered, her voice barely above a murmur. She was right, of course—again.
He had always prided himself on being in control, on having the answers, the strength, the power to fix things with a flick of his wrist or a quick quip. But as he sat there beside Suzue, her small frame leaning into him, her sobs quieting, he felt like the world's biggest idiot. He had misjudged, underestimated, and in true Satoru Gojo fashion, it took a few well-placed words from Suzue to knock him down a peg or two.
And damn, did it sting.
So he did the only thing he could think of: he moved closer, sitting heavily beside her on the couch, feeling as if the weight of the world had just settled on his shoulders. He looked at her for a moment, searching for the right words—words that, as usual, eluded him. Instead, he put an arm around her shoulders and gently pulled her to him, offering the comfort he couldn't quite manage to express with words.
She stiffened at first—of course, she did, she hated physical contact, Satoru thought wryly. He wasn't exactly Mr. Cuddles. But after a moment, she relaxed against him, and he could feel the tension draining from her body, leaving behind only the exhaustion.
«You know, you're really scary when you're mad.» Satoru said, a tired smile tugging at his lips. It was true. He had faced down curses that would send most sorcerers running for the hills, but a furious Suzue? That was a whole new level of terrifying.
She leaned against him, her shoulders still shaking slightly with the remnants of her sobs. «You're really bad at this, you know?» she replied, her voice muffled as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.
He chuckled softly, the sound easing some of the tension in the room. «Yeah, well, emotions aren't exactly my strong suit.»
«No kidding,» she said, a small smile breaking through the exhaustion.
«I'm sorry, I'll do better!» he replied with exaggerated enthusiasm, trying to lighten the mood a little more. «Look at the girl who breaks through roofs and pisses off the higher-ups. You're a real problem, Suzue.» He gently ruffled her hair, a playful gesture that felt strangely natural.
«Sorry for causing you so many problems...» she replied in a faint voice, her face still resting against him.
«Don't worry, I like problems.» he said with a grin, and for once, he actually meant it. Sure, she had caused him more headaches than any curse ever could, but he wouldn't trade that for anything.
They fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that only comes after a storm has passed. Satoru could feel the weight of her against him growing heavier as her breathing slowed and evened out. He glanced down at her, surprised to find that she had fallen asleep, her face finally at peace. And—was that drool? He stifled a laugh. Of course, she'd fall asleep right after making him feel like a complete idiot.
«Of course, go ahead and sleep peacefully after making me feel like a complete idiot.» he muttered under his breath, though there was no real bite to his words. If anything, he was relieved.
He frowned slightly: how long had she been peacefully sleeping? He must have been lost in his thoughts for longer than he realized. He stayed there for a moment, just looking at her, her peaceful face a stark contrast to the turmoil she had been in moments before. Her injuries were still visible, a reminder of everything she had been through, but now, with her asleep, she looked almost... content.
Carefully, he shifted, easing her down onto the couch. She mumbled something incoherent, her face scrunching up for a moment before she settled back into sleep. He adjusted a pillow under her head and draped a blanket over her, watching as she snuggled into it, her face softening even more.
"Alright. Time to take control of this disastrous situation."
He headed towards the door, determined to talk to Yaga and Shoko to get a clearer picture of the situation. When he opened the door, though, he found the two colleagues staring at him.
The two, with extreme nonchalance, began looking around innocently, as if it wasn't obvious that they had been eavesdropping on their conversation for God knows how long.
«What the fuck—»
Satoru flashed a half-sarcastic, half-menacing smile and closed the door behind him. He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall next to the closed door of the room.
«Really? You like eavesdropping on private conversations that much?»
Shoko, with her hands in her coat pockets, spoke with an accusatory tone. «We heard yelling and got worried.»
Satoru narrowed his eyes at her, noting the hint of sarcasm in her voice. Both she and Yaga were now staring at him silently with expressions that clearly said, "What an asshole."
Satoru sighed, running a hand through his hair. «I didn't mean to make her cry like that— Hey, I'm not going to stand here justifying myself to you!»
Shoko's eyes softened a bit, but she kept her gaze steady on him. «You know, for someone who's supposed to be the strongest sorcerer, you really suck.»
Satoru glared at her, but the fire in his eyes was diminished. «I don't need a lecture from you, Shoko.»
Yaga, who had been silent until now, finally spoke up, his voice gruff but with a hint of concern. «How is she?»
Satoru hesitated, the memory of Suzue's tear-streaked face still fresh in his mind. «She's exhausted. Physically and emotionally.»
He looked at them, his usual cocky demeanor slightly softened, but hoping the matter was over. «I think I've got a pretty clear idea of the situation, in broad terms. So? Interested in hearing my evil plan?»
Yaga looked at him with a grim expression. «What's the likelihood that this mess could get even worse?»
Satoru smirked arrogantly. «With me involved? Sky-high.»
Satoru settled into a chair in Yaga's office, his feet propped up on the desk in a defiant, nonchalant manner. Yaga watched him with an exasperated expression, while Shoko leaned against the wall, arms crossed and a sly smile on her lips.
«So, ready to hear my brilliant plan to drive those decrepit old bastards even crazier?»
Shoko and Yaga exchanged glances; knowing their colleague, they were already prepared for the outburst of disdain they knew was coming.
«First of all,» Satoru gestured, «we'll keep that Yuji's alive a secret. No one outside of us needs to know he's still alive. I'll train him personally, in secret, make him stronger, and then, when he's ready, we'll bring him back as our ace in the hole.»
Yaga nodded slowly, listening intently. «And how do you plan to handle Suzue? Sukuna has basically made her a ticking time bomb.»
Satoru waved a hand, as if to say he had already thought of everything. «What really happened must remain buried,» Satoru said decisively. «If the higher-ups find out that Suzue made a binding vow with Sukuna, they'll see her as an immediate threat. And we all know what happens to perceived threats, right? They eliminate them without a second thought.» He seemed thoughtful, but the solution was clear enough. «She must never be alone with Yuji and never too far from me. If Sukuna tries to exploit the binding vow, we'll know immediately and can intervene quickly.»
He paused, trying to push aside the possibility that the binding vow could turn into something destructive for all of them. Yaga was right, despite the conditions Suzue had set on the vow, Sukuna could still formulate the request in many different ways, all with disastrous outcomes.
Shoko nodded slowly, a thoughtful expression on her face. «Suzue is already seen as the hero who defeated Sukuna. We can use this narrative to our advantage.»
«Exactly.» His smirk widened into an expression of pure amusement. «We'll exploit the fact that she's now almost seen as the heroine who "defeated" Sukuna. I'll push for her to get a promotion to a higher grade, preferably the first or, better yet, special. With that grade, she'll gain more freedom and total independence from the Zenin clan. They won't be able to control her like a pawn anymore, and if everything goes according to plan, here at Tokyo Jujutsu High, there will be three special grade sorcerers to stir things up.»
Yaga raised an eyebrow. «The higher-ups don't grant promotions of that level lightly.»
«Leave it to me,» Satoru replied with a challenging air. «If Sukuna is considered one of the greatest evils, then whoever faced and 'defeated' him certainly deserves a recognition of equal level, don't you think?»
Yaga shook his head, visibly exasperated. «They're not idiots. They'll figure out something's wrong.»
Satoru stood up, positioning himself in front of Yaga with a confident smile. «I'm the most convincing sorcerer of the modern era. I know how to manipulate those old geezers. If we present Suzue as an indispensable element, a resource too valuable to be limited, they won't have any choice but to promote her.»
Shoko added with a complicit tone, «And with the reputation she's gained, it won't be hard to convince the others that she deserves to be promoted. And you know how much they love stories of heroes and redemption.»
Satoru smiled, giving a thumbs-up in approval. «Don't worry, Yaga. I know exactly what I'm doing. I can't wait to see those old farts' faces when they find out what we have in store for them.»
Yaga, despite his concern, nodded resignedly. «Alright. Then let's get to work. Let's make sure this plan works.»
A/N
Soooo, it's basically a long rant from Suzue followed by Satoru proving he's an idiot.
I can totally see Satoru being all calm and reassuring while she talks about ripped-out hearts and fights, then freaking out the moment she mentions the binding vow with Sukuna, like ಠ_ಠ "Bruh you what"
Facts:
Unfortunately, Satoru is right—there are a thousand ways Sukuna could frame his request and still make it disastrous, but Suzue was in a desperate situation and did her best!
Suzue is shy and introverted until she explodes and gets angry, and then she lets everything out along with uncontrollable tears. Satoru learns this the hard way.
Satoru's evil plan is based on the assumption that, as the series seems to suggest, the higher your rank as a sorcerer, the more freedom you have. I'm not sure if that's actually the case, but once again, this is my take.
And with these elusive bits of information, I leave you ❤️