I felt a great kinsmen ship with the Sal'Dorei aka the Nightborne since I came to Suramar. They look a little like Night Elves but a few of them had been alive for thousands of years. Many of them were mindless monsters going from one mana source to another. I knew just what that felt like to see your fellow brothers and sisters' fall into completely unrecognizable forms. Silver lining, no hair anywhere except the head, like soft purple dolphins. Me? I have to shave my legs, toes, pits, all ten digits, and face, but despite ten-thousand years, everyone is high and tight. Even now as I hold the Ashbringer I feel myself drinking in a pool of light arcane magic from every single undead or demon that I slay. The Withered Sal'Dorei I killed did not feed me as well as the undead or demons, but I knew that the missions I was given were of great importance. It gave me some level of peace that I was using the Ashbringer to fulfill my duties as Highlord and not just to give myself a fix of arcane energy.

Illidain Stormrage was a man I hated, no I still hate him. I know I shouldn't be one to judge based on the fact that I was born into privilege myself, but I hated the way he and his allies treated magicless high elves. Also, I like, killed him six years ago. I know I mentioned it, but I didn't explain it, but I will now. So me and about 25 people show up to his thinking spot and he says… Something like… "I'm not happy to have this many guests right now. Also, who gave you the keys to come in here?"

But all you need to know was that Illidan was bad and it wasn't easy to get those keys to his neato burrito thinking spot, but we got them, so this fight was happening and it started. Well I was doing okay crossing swords with him a few times and when he stabbed me with those fel-infused warglaives I got healed pretty quickly. There were about seven of us beating into his back like an oversized muscled pinata. We were all doing pretty well, not standing in fire, and killing the lesser minions that he would summon them and when he was flying in the air. Then he turned into a big black monster that was about four stories high and then that was when we started taking casualties, because we were scared. The seven man melee group I was with just ran. The heavily armored fighters were barking orders trying to get the formation back in line and the healers were just too overworked at that point. I remember him hitting me numerous times with those warglaives in a few seconds, then knocking me several yards on my back and knocking my helmet off. I remember covering my face with my arms and crying like a cornered rat about to be eaten by a rattlesnake, but he stopped just short of a final killing blow and said, "You are no-… Y-You're just a little girl?"

I remember looking up at him with tears in my eyes, he wasn't in that monstrous demon form anymore. Then I made sweet love to Illidan Stormrage's chest cavity with the business end of a longsword and I heard our leader say, "Now!" when both of my hands and sword were stuck inside him. I felt the cascade of spells land into his back and I just didn't let go, I held on like a worm on hook, until I was sure his heart stopped beating. Only ten out of twenty-five of us, well, fifteen really, five of raiders succumbed to injuries a week later. Me? I broke 47 ribs and busted 12 of my kidneys and was told I have 3 months to live. I was horrified, but I realized that doctors are absolutely perplexed. So a lot of my own healing magic, physical therapy, and some positive vibes, I bounced back in two months. Also I didn't include Maiev Shadowsong and her Wardens because they really weren't much help in the actual fight. They were smart enough to keep a distance and they didn't help very much until after the fight was over.

I feel like a reunion will be very awkward, like, "Oh my Light, I remember you, you're the one who killed me, look how much you've grown. You look old enough to kill back."

I think Alexandros Morgraine, the one that could wield the Ashbringer greater than any other knight should be raised. The Ashbringer was meant for his hand, not mine, but I believe that a small part of his soul is still inside me. I know that is why I'm alive right now, but why can't the naaru see that Alexandros should be the one to destroy the Burning Legion, not Illidan. If anything, let this new Lich King raise him back from the dead, a life as a Death Knight would suit him and a reasonable punishment for the crimes he committed against my people. My kin from Tempest Keep are still feeding off demonic energy even now and are still turning themselves into the Wretched at a faster rate. His debt is still heavy and the death he met from on top of the Black Temple was still too good for him, maybe this is a second chance for him to answer for his crimes, maybe even atonement. I shake off that idea because Garrosh Hellscream was my friend at a few points, but I wish I hadn't listened to his trial… For what good it was, the Celestial Council members, the leaders that oversaw his trial, felt that Garrosh could change for the better and I believed that. If we do stop the Burning Crusade, and if I do get to pledge the Ashbringer into that corrupted titans' eye, Illidan and all his Demon Hunters are next. There's no need for demon hunters when you're already self possessed.

The sword is still growing in power, but so am I. I pray to the Light that I may wield this blade half as well as Alexandros, and maybe a small prayer for a side of a new boyfriend. But humans don't have to worry about a necessary consumption of magic, I do, and so do the Blood Knights that work under me, but not in that way. They are not wielding swords that are fulfilling in that hunger like I am, sometimes after a mission I come back to the barracks so full of light magic I would be drunk with power, but I found another weapon.

Weapon, I should use that term lightly, I found a hammer that is good for healing wounds. I've always used priest clubs and shaman shields when I needed to heal people on raids or infiltrations, but this hammer I've been using works somewhat well on curing wounds. It's ten times better than any combination of shields and one-handed weapons I've found before, but there is one slight problem. The Silver Hand, this hammer I found leaves me strangely euphoric after a mission. I talked about how being away from the Ashbringer brought about my arcane withdrawal, but I think I may be able to balance myself out by healing the wounded at Light's Hope. When I came back from my mission arcane power drunk I gave it to my fellow Blood Knights. A taste of what the Ashbringer had given to me and felt really good.

Different, exhausted like my lungs were expanding, my muscles were tense, and my head felt light. Satisfying to me is like having coitus with a man and coming. That's what I did today, can you imagine how much I am in heaven? Just giving the overflowing fountain of light magic to the wounded Blood Knights coming on all of them and they rested without the pain of convulsions from whatever injuries they had received from their missions. I suppose that's why I'm able to write right now. Helping all these people is like coming day and night. It's terrific. Yesterday I started writing about the withdraw from being away from the Ashbringer for a whole night, but right now I'm feeling pretty normal and even though I got a lot of mana from the Withered Sal'Dorei I was able to give back the mana I was storing to my fellow Blood Knights. I lost the pages of what I experienced that night and maybe it's a good thing. I will say this though, that night gave me a lot of insight on the Emerald Nightmare.

Going into the forest couldn't hold a candle to the pain, agony, and disturbing images that came with arcane withdrawal. I want to help these Sal'Dorei so badly, I know exactly what they are going through even though our addictions are not completely the same, they are a lot alike, except they've been at it for thousands of years. I've only been alive for 22 years. All the things I've seen people do for themselves can all be the same thing. Just a way to drown out your own voice. To kill your memories without having to kill yourself. I had no idea the elves could turn into things like that. I knew that our people had taken the forms of fish like people,(the Naga) but spiders? It was sad to me that maybe the Wretched could see a time when they would change into a form like that, and maybe I'm sailing on a boat headed to that direction. I hope that with all the help I'm trying to do with the Sal'Dorei if they see me slipping into that savage nature they will be able to bring me back down.