I don't don't want to be sober and I'm not looking forward to the hangover that will come with falling asleep, I'm writing and why and how did I get here and this will need proofreading.

They locked me in my living quarters and I have to pee, and they want me to go in a jar. I'm a Highlord and I'm supposed to save the world all this and I. Have you seen it outside? It's so scary, and if you're not scared, you're not paying attention. People keep asking me, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, my farm is infested with demons. I can't harvest my crops." EVERYTHING IS ON LITERAL GREEN FIRE! I think they should shut up and move to some places that are not on fire. I'm not feeling well. Why do you have to be so stupid, you can't see, and need glasses. I save you from the best part and… why is there no one in my bed, doesn't anyone love me?

I haven't had…*scribbling* Really?! The book won't allow me to write the word *Lots of aggressive scribbling* Coitus… Oh… the book doesn't know what that term means. Well it means… *scribbling* Well thank you Dr. Olisarra for teaching me medical terms.

I haven't had coitus since I was on the Alliance side. Lost it to a Draenei, those tentacles are a lot softer than they look and there is such a giving race of blue people. Thought I was actually a High Elf, until he didn't. Light curse it all, do you have any idea how often I wake up in the middle of the night with my weeping gash begging for a good stretch? I hope they unlock my room and I can find Boro's room and this stupid earthquake stops.

*Un-understandable writing due to shaking*

I was just minding my own business having a good time. Chillinlaxing at Brewfest with my bestie. All of sudden these schmucks knocked me over off my stool. "Hand over the Ashbringer, Perfectia."

So I responded by grabbing two of them by their manparts and said, "Seems like you guys 'ave a pretty good A–bringer's right 'ere."

And they took expectation to that. They all… more than ten, twenty-five I think… It was two at first and they pulled out their bigger swords then more showed up, then I'm not sure… but we all know how that song and dance always goes and I killed all but one of them. Like making babies from a candy. I think it was the one with brown stained pants, he must have tattletaled to Lord Maxwell Tyrosus because he came by while the goblins were cleaning up the mess, grabbed me by the shoulder and said, "Highlord Perfectia?! These were your men! Are you insane?!"

"Zey wiped…" I pointed the Ashbringer at him and my four lieutenants backed away in a panic. point on my finger like it was a throwing knife. I took another drink of brew, "Mais c-est qui ce connard? Va te faire foutre, qui diable pensez-vous que vous êtes?" I kicked one of corpses, "Cette poufiasse m'a attaque san putain de raison."

Lord Maxwell looked over at Arator, he was one of the elf lieutenants, but he was technically a high elf half breed, "What did she say?"

"She said they attacked her first… and a lot of swearing towards you."

I grabbed Maxwell by his man parts, "I'm ze eyelord and I can touch you whenever I WANT! You need to buy me food."

He pushed my hand away, "Sober up High Lord."

I threw a punch in his face but he moved out of the way and it caused me to fall on the floor on all fours. I felt all the brew move up my esophagus and come out on the floor.

Four of my lieutenants grabbed me and removed me from Brewfest, ducon. I took their hearthstone and threw it outside while we were flying back to Light's Hope. Don't ask me because I won't remember where I put it.

I love October and Brew Feast and drinking, father drank. He's drinking as we're speaking, writing, but all the time, why do you have to be so [ *Removed* ] drunk all the time? You embarrass me every time we go out and you wonder why I don't want you in my life. "Oh, I need to cope with the mana addiction."

You're a loser and you need to quit drinking so much.

I always drink at the Darkmoon Faire. It always comes when my cycle starts or maybe the faire causes my cycle. I get nervous when I see the carnies and it wouldn't come because if I don't eat very often it comes late. I would start thinking someone had their way with me while I was camped out or in a lodging place without doors like a youth hostel. I would think, "The carnies are here and my cycle is late. What am I going to do?"

So I would get shot out of the human cannon, ride the roller coaster like, six or seven times, and drink Darkmoon Special Reserve and then my cycle would start. It just seems like a better alternative than the coat hanger, not that I have had that done, but I've heard that it is not a great experience.

I promised Garrosh Hellscream I wouldn't even look at a bottle. So many days sitting in a corner sweating but freezing.

He locked me up too, in Ragefire Chasm and I still felt cold. Chained to stones and I could only beg for a drink that would warm me up and be denied. The light from the lava would hurt my eyes until I couldn't see anymore.

The invasion, couldn't save momma, couldn't save momma, momma I'm sorry I couldn't kill Arthas, and I saw him so many times while begging for a drink. Anything to make the dreams stop and then I would hear the screams. They hurt my head so much and I couldn't keep any food down, I couldn't sleep, and he wouldn't let me take in any mana.

All to keep my eyes blue.

This world is so messed up how can anyone not want to fog up the feelings of existence, if not temporary, permanently. And if you don't, you are lying to yourself. This hasn't been a terrible fall off the wagon, but I need someone to do my laundry, this armor is heavy and stupid and I want to wear a different outfit, why can't I just wear a nice dress? The mages and priests get to wear nice things, what kind of an idiot goes from priest to paladin, you Night Elves are so stupid!

I need to take a shower and pee, DON'T THESE PLACES HAVE BATHTUBS! I hope they have a bath ready when I wake up because I feel like I'm going to mess up this room.

Where's my horse, who took the reins for my horse, that stupid one-eyed human took the reins for my horse and I can't find them anywhere.

I should clean up this place, it is so dusty, who keeps bringing in all the dust? … Oh right, me. I'm the Ashbringer. I make everything dusty.

– o – o – o –

I sobered up and reread this, and I can't erase it, and I'm sorry. Mental note: While I'm alive, I need to keep this locked up at all times and don't try to write when you're intoxicated.