No fighting today. Today I spent most of the day on the forge and a while ago I acquired some of the pieces of armor that most of the Blood Knights walk around with, but I'm still missing a few pieces the spooky little flip-flop grilled cheese bull sheets armor that they wear. I've never been a fan of being on the front lines, actually, I hate being that girl on the front. Heavy shields and being in the thick of it makes my teeth and neck hurt. Of course, from the back healing, people make it look easy, and even from the side with a two-hander drawing the attention from large groups of enemies seems easy. It isn't however easy when I do it, there's some enemies that use techniques that you must avoid and some attacks you have to block, and there are spells you have to make sure to hit you and not your brothers in arms. Vindicator Boros tried to show me how to hold a shield properly. Even before I was given the Ashbringer my techniques with two handed weapons were works of a master. I suppose while in the thick of it I can see openings in my opponents' techniques and I strike when the moment is right, but swords and shields though… There's a voice in my head that says, "There's the opening, strike!" and with a one-handed sword that is incapable of breaking through armor, stone, or tough hides I end up almost giving myself a broken arm and several cracked ribs when I get counter attacked.

There's also the factor of pain, it hurts getting beaten up even with someone to close the wounds, stop the bleeding, and mend the bones, it still hurts those first few seconds. I usually just heal myself but when you're on the front lines you really have to depend on someone else to heal you and I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings if you were that person that was supposed to heal me, but you guys suck. Just being realistic here. So, I've been working on my armor trying to get the design just right, but failing I suppose. I was trying to make myself one of those shields that I would see the blood knights walking around with, but I can't seem to get the red the right color or the design right when I take it out of the oil. I asked one of the Blood Knight's, "Knight, where did you get zat shield?"

He said, "Shattrath City."

I said, "Oh, can I buy one zhere?."

He said, "No, the blacksmith that used to make these passed away a long time ago. There are a few scattered around Outland if you really look though, you might find one. You can do it Perfectia I know you can." He encouraged me.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "Divalz... Die in a fire."

"What?"

"Merci beaucoup" (Thank you very much) I corrected.

"Oh."

I know it seems silly to travel to Outland for a shield that might not work as well as some of the shields I've found through the Shattered Islands, but I don't know. I really hate being on the front lines with my brothers and sisters when they all have that blood knight shield and I'm using a completely different one. It's half the reason why I hate being there on the front lines in the first place; if I could just find this shield I think it would make Vindicator Boros's lessons stick a little bit better. At least maybe I wouldn't feel as awkward holding a shield. A training dummy kind of beat me up today and I was in the hall angry and crying to myself in a totally mature and productive way, not telling anyone to putain ta gueule. It was so frustrating seeing the lowest squire able to do this so easily and I couldn't seem to get it.

Vindicator Boros tried to get me to get back on the training dummy but I ran to the Sacred Altar and took back the Ashbringer. I gave him this look and he held up his hands in defense, "Highlord Perfectia," he said, "I know you are not familiar with these weapons, but you need to work on your form."

I pushed him out of the way and ran upstairs and unpacked the ores I acquired on the Broken Island and started trying to make things. Well I didn't really make anything, I just needed to hit something really hard and probably wasted most of the ores I was using. He watched me until I was too tired and hungry to pound metal anymore. "Are you done?" he asked.

I handed him a crudely crafted sword, "It's dangerous to go alone, take zis."

"That is very thoughtful, but the sword I use was given to me by my father and I think I'll keep using it." He said, repressing a smile.

"I make it for you." I held it closer to him.

He looked at it and looked back at me, "Perfectia, would you take that sword into battle for yourself?"

I looked at the areas that I smashed in with my hammer, thinking a sword could go through those weak points; I had made finer crafts with less denser materials, I threw it on the ground and was about to go to my room.

"Wait!"; he said and picked up the shield, "I will take this sword into battle."

I avoided eye contact, "Don't, it trash, you get yourself kill ed, at ze very least it give you tetanus poisoning, and I need you for ze Crusade 'all missions." I spoke softly.

He picked up the sword and looked at it, "I think you need to see a master use his techniques on something other than wooden dummies, let's hold off on Hall missions for now."

"I work alone." Which at the time wasn't always true, but I've never been in the company of a Draenei, at least not so much in public… At least not in a really long time.

He shrugged, "Then your sword and shield techniques will never improve, you will just reinforce bad habits."

"I 'ave le Ashbringer." I rolled my eyes at him and scoffed, "Don't you 'ave some Alliance boots to lick, and you would really be seen wiz a blood elf outside these 'alls. I've killed draenei before and not just red skinned ones."

Boros rolled his eyes, "Yes, I've heard of your exploits on the Warsong, and Arathi, and Alterac Valley, and… "

"I am Horde and Sin'dorei," I interrupted with the only H word I could say right, "my people are important to me, zere life matter to me, and while you are under my command so does yours, I will not look down on, shems, short stacks, knife-ears, or stag-breeds, (racial slurs for Humans, Dwarves, Elves, and Draenei) but I know zat when we part way from zhese 'all were enemy. So, what your plan, really?"

"You think I plan on betraying you?" He asked, confused.

"I try to ignore ze bad zings about life. I like to push zem in the back of my brain because I just don't know how to deal wiz negativity." I explained.

He looked away, "At least not when you're sober." I heard him say.

I paused for a second, "What?"

"Nothing."

"So yes, le Ashbringer is of dwarven make, maybe it should be in a dwarf's 'and, Alexandros wielded it greater than any knight, a 'uman, and ze floating crystal is of naaru make, I mean, zat's what makes the whole sword work, oui? Your people are close to ze naaru, it should be in your 'ands, right?"

"Very few people admire anyone for the hard work they put in. Most people will ignore you, many people will hate you, and a lot of people will tell you to quit, and Highlord you're crying."

He reached toward me to tried to touch my face, but I pushed him away, I breathed in hard, and tried to regain my composure, I closed my eyes and wiped my face, "I 'ave tried to 'eal our injured soldier wound. If people ate me for doing zis, zen I must be a bad 'ighlord. Why was I asked?" I asked. ("I have tried to heal our injured soldiers' wounds. If people hate me for doing this, then I must be a bad Highlord. Why was I asked? " *If you couldn't catch what I was trying to say*)

He shook his head, "I won't lie to you; I didn't understand a word you just said. And many of the other adventurers, some of them in grand standing, are hoping to increase their chances to be the new Highlord." He sighed, "Some are simply terrified. Many good soldiers died on the Broken Shores."

I thought back and remembered our fruitless invasion, "I know. It was a catastrophe."

"You might not be the Highlord that everyone wanted. You're the Highlord that is necessary and you did try to rescue Fordring." He explained.

I laughed slightly at that, "What of it? I can't imagine 'im speaking fondly of me. " I asked.

He looked at me strangely, "He said he could hear the whispers near you, but he couldn't just give you the Ashbringer then."

"Why not? You know 'e be alive if 'e gave zis to me. Do you ave any idea 'ow painful it is to be even near zis sword during ze Lich King campaign? 'Ow many lives and 'ow much pain 'e could 'ave save me if e just 'and le Ashbringer to me? You know Garrosh Hellscream say to me zat I would 'ave stolen 'is glory."

"You were still too young, 16 I think, and what do you think Garrosh would have made you do if he knew that you had the Ashbringer and the ability to use it even greater then Mograine?" Boros paused, "At one time he wanted to give it to you, but he still needed to command the Argent Crusade here. So, they could watch Sylvanas."

"Don't you dare talk about 'er," I stated angrily, "you not at ze Broken Shores. It is a disaster and she take all ze blame for ze people zat died."

"And you would have been among the dead if you were given the Ashbringer. You're not a leader, you're just an adventurer. You don't have the experience to lead on the battlefield, better yet hold a garrison together like Tirion Fordring did for years." He explained.

I looked away and shrugged, "It what I 'ave been doing for years, if I was need-ed' for some-zing else I would be doing zat. I know I'm young, even by 'uman standard, but you're wrong, I do-ed most of ze paperwork in ze garrison in Draenor, but ze burden of command is lonely."

He put his hand on his head like it was hurting, "I'm sorry, I'm a little confused. Do you know your past tense words?" He conveyed.

I looked at him suspiciously, "Why should I trust ed you, a draenei for zat matter, 'ow do I know zis isn't some plan from the Alliance, my people are very important to me, and zey need me not die ed or in prison." I nodded at him, "You add 'Edd' for past tense, oui?"

Boros sighed, "You don't just add 'ed', ed is a human name, short for Edward. I could help you find that shield your people seem to like to carry around; I think I may know where we can find one shield. And also you're Common speaking could use some work?"

"Oh la la, where?" I asked almost gleefully and held my hands together like a child about to receive a present.

Boros smiled confused at my sudden change in personality, "I may need to reconnect with some old contacts in Stattrath City but it would be good to go back to the city draenei and sin'dorei made their first alliance against the Burning Legion. Maybe at least we could start to trust one another?"

I nodded, "If you're going to escort me, don't die or I'll kill you." I left the forge and I skipped to bed. I felt Boros watching me laughing to himself. I had been acting like a spoiled brat to Boros, he had never given me any reason not to trust him. I suppose I just assumed that that's how he felt about being under my command, my people are still important to me, but I may need to focus on treating all my soldiers equally and stop thinking that the former members of the Alliance will have a knife waiting to stab me in the back.