I woke up from a nightmare, a version of me with white hair, glowing blue eyes, and wielding the Corrupted Ashbringer was fighting me. While she wasn't fighting she held it in the air and walked toward me to come down with overhead strikes; "guard of the dragon-hawk". I had my version of the Ashbringer with me, I moved into a sword draw stance, swung the Ashbringer across as hard as I could, and burned the atmosphere around her. The fire from the Ashbringer lit up the seemingly endless void showing more of the Imperfect version of me. Her silhouette was in shadow behind the flames but as she walked closer to the flames they subsided and her blue eyes glowed as she looked around. Still holding the Corrupted Ashbringer high in the air, "That stance doesn't work well with that sword." I claimed.

I held my Ashbringer in front of me. She came down with hers and I dodged to the right and was going to lunge it forward to stab my sword into her neck while she had her sword in the ground. But she let go with one hand and grabbed the blunt side of my Ashbringer. I felt her strength with one arm and as she held onto my holy sword I could hear her hand make sizzling noises as she held it. With her sword arm she brought the Corrupted Ashbringer upward toward my wrist. I let go and backed away. She dropped my sword on the ground, looked down at the holy sword, back at me, and kicked it away.

I started to feel pain in my dreams and was unsure if it was a dream. Arcane withdrawal never gave nightmares like these, this was a pain that I had felt many times. The runes on my face and body were showing up again, "Is this what you want Imperfecta? You want to see me use the spiritual Ashbringer not the physical one?!" I yelled.

She nodded, smiled, and paced back and forth with the Corrupted Ashbringer on her shoulder in a half circle around me. I felt the runes burn and glow like they always had and then the symbol. I felt the sword form in my hand, and felt its weight when I grabbed it, but I was holding a Corrupted Ashbringer myself. I looked at it in shock, shaking my head. The symbol below my neck was skull shaped, not the yellow Silver Hand symbol. I looked at the Corrupted Ashbringer and I could see a strong glow in my eye, they weren't green like they usually were. They were blue just like hers. I dropped the sword on the ground and shook my head. "No, this isn't me. I won't fight you like this." I looked back up at her.

She looked at the holy Ashbringer on the ground as it disappeared and walked toward me taking her sword off her shoulder, "*Fight.*" She said as she snarled.

"*No.*" I shook my head and started to walk away but I saw my mother in front of me. She had beautiful golden curls that touched her mid back, light blue eyes of the high elves, wore an elegant red top and skirt, and of course, tall as a giant.

"*You've grown.*" She looked me up and down and raised one eyebrow at me, "*Everywhere it seems.*" She said in a complaining tone and she held one hand toward her mouth.

I felt the Corrupted Ashbringer go through my back and come out through the front of my abdominal, it came as more of a shock to me then actual pain, "*Mother? Help me.*" I pleaded as I fell on my knees

I saw her roll her eyes, "*Oh Perfectia, try to see this objectively. She is taking what you don't need any more and trimming out the fat.*"

I looked at her confused and disgusted, "*Really mom, right now?! I am dying!*"

"*Oh… right.*" She looked away and shook her head, "*You know dearest, most of your people that descended into blood elves after the loss of the Sunwell were terribly undernourished. I thought I should congratulate you by beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.*" She held me by my face, "*What exactly are you protecting, you don't have any friends. It's because of how unlikable you are, read some of the squire reports of the people that work with you. Listen to what other adventures are saying behind your back. They all write about you; unlikeable, liked by no one, a bitter unlikable loner who's passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned', that's what they say. They also say you're an orphan, loved by no one. So that's funny too.*" She laughed slightly.

I shook my head objectively, "Oh wow mom, I'm so happy to hear all those things you just said." I said sarcastically, "Those were definitely not ripped off from something else that was popular."

My mother laughed and shook her head, "*You're A Highlord, Perfectia, but they are mass producing you now. Hoping if they throw enough proud idiots toward that Legion that one of you will stick, so great men can take credit for your hard work. Reinforcing the patriarchal legacy built on the corpses of subjugated women…"

The thing about it was, I actually remember me and my mother both talking like this when I was a little kid. She would always say it better then I could but it was the justification she used when I beat up little boys on the playground. I never really understood what that idiotic monologue meant when I was a kid, but it was easier for mom to quote things like that since she was about a foot and half taller than most people and had never been married.

You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done. Including this Highlord title you carry, you're not smart, you're not a sorcerer, you're not a mage, you don't even know a single thing about the arcane.*" She crossed her arms and looked away from me, "*When did your life go so wrong?*"

I felt Imperfecta kick me on the ground and twist the Corrupted Ashbringer in my back which I did feel, and my stomach contorted to the blade. "*Embrace it.*" She said.

I tried to make some effort to shake my head, "*I won't.*" I said

"*EMBRACE IT!*" She screamed.

I woke up in a cold sweat and some of the glowing runes on my body were subsiding underneath the bandages. It was dark out, but I could tell that the sun would be up in a few hours or so.

I'm writing this because; I don't think I can do this anymore. When I see Boros again I'm going to have to tell him I'm leaving the order and I can't be the Highlord anymore. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that.

_Resignation_

I woke up with a pain in my heart, and a somewhat deep fear of going back to sleep. I thought about taking a walk a little before sunrise, but I really didn't want to be alone. Even if my only company was the half asleep draenei caretaker about to get off her nightshift. When I heard the sounds of people starting to wake up on the Aldor side of Shattrath to do morning exercises I started to get dressed. I've never supported the Aldor's because I thought that they lacked vision and I felt more comfortable being with the people that went through the same journey I did, but now I wanted the Aldor's help and I was willing to repay my debt to them by helping the refugees that were in this small city. Also, they have bathrooms. I asked the nurse if I could walk around the area and she said, "We need you not to carry any weapons of any kind if you're going to walk around this part of the city."

I nodded, "Zat's fine, and I don't even want to put on armor." I stated.

She looked at me inquisitively; the only thing I was wearing was some blankets and small clothes. "I will get you some clothes."

She gave me a loose white shirt, blue pants, and sandals. I usually ran everywhere or at least rode my horse, but the sandals made it harder to run. So, I took all my armor, put it in a bag and placed all my armor and items in the Scryer storage bank. I saw Boros outside the bank holding the Ashbringer on his back while on his mount, he dismounted and looked around. "Zat sword looks good on you." I said when I was in shouting distance.

He looked around, looked at me, and squinted his eyes, "Highlord, is that you?"

I waved and nodded, "Yes, but please don't call me zat."

"Highlord, I mean. Perfectia, I heard you recovered and I found out where we can find that shield we've been looking for." He said.

I put out my hand, "I'm not interested... "

Boros gave a sigh of relief, "Oh good, because you are needed in the Order Hall, we have information on…"

"I'm not going back to ze order." I interrupted.

He looked confused, "Are you still not feeling well, Highlord? Is that why you're not wearing your armor?"

"I told you not to call me zat, Boros. Ze Ashbringer is becoming corrupted, I'm becoming corrupted, you were right. I can't carry it anymore. You should carry it." I explained.

Boros smiled and shook his head, "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. Me and my elekk could barely carry this sword here, and better yet wield it. What's worse it keeps whispering your name, it says it spared you? It must be complete? It's too strange for my nerves to handle."

"Zen give it to someone else!" I yelled, "Trion Fordering wielded zat blade just fine, 'e was even able to purify it and 'e even stopped le Lich King. Zere are plenty of 'eroes zat would like to wield a blade of such legend. Besides I've been 'eyelord for what, two weeks? I doubt anyone will miss me."

Boros half smiled and looked at me inquisitively, "Perfectia, why are you running away from this? We're all scared but you must…"

"Stop." I interrupted. I looked at the ground and held my chest, "It's better if I pull out now. Before I blow it on everyone's backsides."

Boros put his hand on his face like he had a headache again.

"Boros, ze Legion tryEd every-zing in zere power to corrupt ze Ashbringer but zey couldn't because zere's a piece of Morgraine's soul inside me, a piece of ze Ashbringer somewhere in zis body that 'asn't beEd corrupted." I looked him in the eyes, "But now it's 'appening, I'm becoming corrupted with every demon I slay. Maybe it's because of ze fel or maybe it's because I'm a blood elf, but if I die ze Ashbringer could become corrupted and if I become corrupted ze Ashbringer will become corrupted and both of zose zings could 'appen if I stay on ze frontlines."

Boro's was holding onto the hilt trying to take the pressure off his back but he took the blade off and it clunked on the ground as he held it upright. "Yes, yes, that is great, very good speech for quitting." He held it up and placed the Ashbringer on the ground. "I need to call squires to carry the Ashbringer back to the Halls. Goodbye Perfectia." He talked quickly and walked away trying to stretch the muscles in his back and shoulder.

I looked at him in shock, but I didn't think he saw me, "Wait, is zat all you're going to say?" I asked.

He stopped, but continued not looking at my face, "No one's saying that you have to be the Highlord or the Ashbringer, Perfectia, but Trion wanted you to be the Ashbringer for a long time, even with his dying breath. " Boros looked me in the eyes, ''But there were plenty of adventurers trying to convince him to retire and pass the Ashbringer to them." Boros scoffed, "You people are so selfish, but I suppose you people get things done and someone else will get those things done." I heard him laugh and shake his head, "At least I won't have to listen to your stupid accent anymore." He said under his breath.

"Donc quelle?" I said somewhat angry

"Nothing, merci, beau cul." He said in Thalassian and I don't know if he meant to say, 'Thank you, very much' or 'Thank you, nice rear'.

I sighed and looked at the ground and was about to head to the fishing ponds and I heard the whispers, "I…. was… complete… once." I stopped.

I looked back and saw a transparent version of myself squatting next to the Ashbringer as it laid on the ground. It was Imperfecta the Death Knight version of me; she looked at me, smiled, and laughed with her mouth shut. I stared at her, shook my head and walked away and heard it whisper, "Abandoned… by… my…wielder." It said,

I saw Boros and his squires pick up the Ashbringer and I heard it say, "Perfectia… "

I ran toward Boros and his squires holding the Ashbringer, "Yes?" he said.

"Where was zat shield, ze Blood Knight one?" I asked.

Boros rolled his eyes, "Hellfire Peninsula, now if you excuse us we need to elect a new high lord and I need to go through three of these cursed portals."

I think I should head out there tomorrow. Even though I'm not a paladin anymore I at least want something to remember my fellow Blood Knights.