Creation began on 11-26-22
Creation ended on 06-06-23
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Modern Day Legend of a Rage-filled Anchor: Renewal of the Heart and Souls
A/N: Renewal has many meanings in many places. To renew the land, to renew former relationships, and even to renew feelings within the hearts and souls of those who have lost their faith in others. Here is the renewal.
Who was responsible for the choices people made when they had to do things that went against the intentions of other people? Who was exempt from their responsibilities…and who was to blame for not facing them? Even as she wallowed in Unit-01, Yui Ikari received no answer to her questions, reminded of the choice she had yet to make, just letting time pass by, yet solemnly aware of the reality just around the corner of her own existence; in the aftermath of her son restoring the planet to a pre-Second Impact state, Shinji relocated to a different universe because he was no longer the boy she had left behind at the age of three going on four, her husband had been murdered by SEELE for what their son did to ruin their plans and his own loss of Adam that ruined all methods of implementing the Human Instrumentality Project, and NERV was being re-tasked with other things to do and the Evas were being scheduled for dismantling.
But even if she made her choice to return to life as a human being, her life would be in shambles; no husband, no son, no home, nothing. Even if she were to try and glimpse into the other universe that Shinji had left to, there was no undoing what had been done. No bright future for all of mankind, just a future…and nothing else.
"If there was someone with the family name Ikari that deserved to be viewed as being among the most pitiful of people, you are definitely among them, Yui Ikari," she heard a female voice say to her, and she saw this strange woman in a yukata of blue and green shades.
Yui recognized her from a memory of Shinji's before he left her.
"Are you…Frenzia?" She asked her.
"I am," Frenzia responded. "I must say that I am disappointed in who you've become, how you chose to live. It's gotta be part of the reason he chose to leave this universe behind."
"You mean, Shinji?"
"He couldn't see any future in this one while he knew he had one in mine. What future did you see? If you can see any future at all, that is."
"There was a future. A brighter future."
"That can mean anything to the person that speaks of it, but it means nothing to one being told of it, so it means nothing to me, hearing it from you. What did you see in your 'brighter' future?"
"I…I…" But Yui couldn't answer her ancestress from another universe; how could she answer the question…when she never saw anything of what she longed to have happen?
"If you can't answer such a simple question, then that implies you have no answer at all," Frenzia told her. "Nobody among the realm of mortality, or even those fortunate to have lived as mortals…is allowed to know anything about the future beyond tomorrow. Nobody is an exception to this rule. Nobody human, alive or dead, is even allowed to violate the sanctity of other humans. You can't even touch the souls of the dead without their expressed permission."
"Did you ever touch the souls of the dead?"
"Not without their permission, and don't get any ideas with me. I have moved on from what I once was. I'm just a soul that wanders and converses with other souls now. I'm not here to help you commune with any other souls…and I'm not here to convince you to make a choice if what he told you what you could still do wasn't any clearer than the crystal clear information he gave you. That's up to you. In the end, it's all up to you. But he was right about the alternative; there's no eternal proof of humanity's existence in store for you. That's a desire undeserved, a dream that will never be fulfilled. By anyone. Including you. Ever."
"But…if people work together, then…"
"No buts. You chose the Eva, and your choice had consequences that other people were not happy with. Every choice you make affects the lives of everyone else. You can't take any of it back, even if you wanted to. Eleven years of absence, of negligence that you can't undo. Your lack of presence in your son's life in this universe played a factor in his own choices. He couldn't forgive and he just wanted to forget the wedge it drove in his relationship with others. How do you live with yourself, Yui Ikari? How do you sleep at night…if you even sleep at all?"
"I just wanted…to make a better future for Shinji…for everyone," Yui claimed.
"Except you can't make a future any better for anyone…by leaving your own child behind and expecting him to cope with your absence. Why did you even decide to have a child if you had no intention of being a part of his life, his future? That's not something any parent just does. When you choose to have a child with someone you choose to be involved with in your life, you forfeit whatever rights to personal freedoms you have in order to do right by your child, and you failed yours, Yui. You failed your child."
"I would've been killed by SEELE if I hadn't done what I did. At least by being the soul of the Eva, I could do something to help Shinji."
"And again, that stems from a choice you have only yourself to blame for making. You chose to work for them, so you took the consequences of your choice without ever considering the damage you would inflict upon others based on such a choice. I chose to settle down with my husband when I met him, had children with him, and I accepted that I would never return to the life I had before I met him, and I accepted that I didn't even want to be anything other than what I was with my family. I traded away my divinity, my so-called perfection and power…for love and happiness. True love and happiness. Family and friends. But you… You traded family and friends, love and happiness…for divinity and eternity as a testament to a race that doesn't even deserve to be remembered this way. Not like this, Yui. Never like this. Ever."
"Why does anyone choose to do what they do, then?" Yui challenged her.
"To prove that they can, but to do so is worse than the potential success behind the attempt itself. Anyone that dares to play God, to pretend at being a god…must answer in full when faced with the justifiable fury of one that has no need to play, to pretend, and can only hope that they will be forgiven for their arrogance. If they cannot be forgiven, then there is only the steepest price they are left to pay."
"You don't believe in forgiveness?"
"Forgiveness isn't given freely, Yui. Forgiveness isn't something you just receive at will from another person. It has to be earned. It has to be deserved. You have to fight for forgiveness, and you haven't fought for it at all. Not even a little bit. You haven't earned it, so you don't deserve it. Those that can't be forgiven must suffer until they have earned it, until they have done all that they can to truly deserve it."
Yui lowered her head in defeat over this revelation.
"Is there any hope for me?" She asked Frenzia.
"That…is for you to discover for yourself," Frenzia expressed. "Decide for yourself how you wish to progress in your future. Whether you choose to return to your life as a person outside of your precious Evangelion or remain within it as its soul, that is for you to decide. Whether you choose to live and rebuild your life or fade away into nothingness, never forget that it was your choice to make. You can't rely on anyone to choose for you…and you can't blame anyone for your decisions. Not your husband, not Shinji, not me, not even the people you worked for. You have only yourself to blame. In the end…this is the outcome you brought upon yourself."
Then Frenzia turned and walked away from the woman, leaving Yui to her fate, whichever choice she chose to make. There was nothing more she could say to her or even to try and encourage her to make a choice; in the end, it was up to her. Nobody was going to choose for her or force her to choose for herself.
-x-
In the end, it was a promise she made to herself if she ever received a second chance to make up for her mistakes, her negligence. She had failed him in the past…and refused to fail him, both of them, in the here and now. It had only been three months since the Mikage situation had ended, and a month since Shinji had resumed his life as a regular citizen of Magatama Town. For Yui Ikari, it was the time to rebuild her life as a member of the town. She gave up the science and went back to school to study medicine; after realizing that what she had seen in Shinji's past in that other universe was not the best way to go about with being a scientist (and mainly due to seeing herself being absent in his life due to being a scientist and not wanting to echo herself in another lifetime), she realized that she had a better future with her son if she pursued a different career with a different mindset.
"Hey, Yui," went a man beside her left as class ended for the day. "What made you want to try and become a doctor?"
"I just…felt I had to become something different from what I was years ago," she answered him.
"And…how are things with your son?"
"We're both adjusted."
"That's good to hear. I heard that Mikage International has gone through an overhaul after their main branch got trashed. There was a picture on social media that had a woman nearby the building that looked a lot like you do. Was that you by any chance near Mikage International?"
"Now, why would I be anywhere near that building?" Yui questioned; the issue with the Mikage family had been resolved, so she had no reason to attract any undesired attention to herself or anyone else that had been there that day her dead boyfriend from the other universe showed up and caused harm to Shinji. We should really just concern ourselves with living and enjoying the time we have to make our own impacts on the people we value above ourselves.
"Yeah, you're right," the man replied. "It's crazy to think you'd be in the city when you left the country last year. Where'd you and Shinji go?"
"Too many places that made us think more about coming back here," she lied, and then left him where he stood. Shinji should be getting out of school soon.
-x-
School. It was really the only thing Shinji had looked forward to doing when he made his choice to live in this universe that was free of the Eva and Angels. His past knowledge no longer necessary since there was no Second Impact-related history, and being around other people that he hadn't seen besides Asuka and Rei eased his fears of not fitting in. He could pick up where he left off and progress towards his goals at a steady pace.
"Have I ever told you what I hate about math?" Asuka asked him as they walked down the stairs in the hallway.
"No, enlighten me," he replied.
"Division."
"Yeah, it's not something I enjoy myself. What about history? Or social studies?"
"Those courses are fine. What do you want to be when you graduate?"
"I don't mind running a small eatery where people can stop by for a nice meal. You?"
"I guess I'll follow the route of the baker. Who doesn't like pastries?"
Shinji smiled at her simple goal. Upon reaching outside the school, the two were met with Rei, who, contrary to the belief of the other students present, was smiling herself when she saw them show up.
"You two took long enough," she told them when they arrived at the front gate. "The classes where we're not together are probably an issue we'll never overcome."
"We let ourselves become distracted by each other, we'd never get anything else done," said Shinji to her. "And how was your last class?"
"Music is fine, but I'm a pianist person, not a cellist or violinist, and the trumpet makes my cheeks sore. I'm sticking with the piano, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it."
"If you love the piano, no argument from me," Asuka told her sister.
"Same here," added Shinji. "So…where to?"
"I have homework," Rei told them. "I finally decided on what I want to be, and it's not a dentist or businesswoman."
"Oh?" Asuka responded. "What do you want to be?"
"A doctor."
"What kind?"
"If it's between pediatrics and neonatology, I could probably handle both branches of medicine."
Asuka looked at Shinji and then back at Rei.
"I can't argue with that likelihood," she told the bluenette. "Chef (points to Shinji), baker (points to herself), kiddy doctor (points to Rei). Am I missing anything?"
Shinji looked across the street and sighed at who was watching them.
"The unexpected and very unnecessary bodyguard," he told the girls, and they took notice of Wei Fei Li across the street.
"At least he's keeping his distance," went Asuka.
In the aftermath of the demise of Kagami's goal and Shinji's death and rebirth as a being of unfathomable divinity at the hands of his cruel father, Wei Fei Li, among the people not apprehended by the police due to not being on the list of suspects, was more or less free to do as he pleased, and, originally nursing a grudge against Toya for taking his eye from him, decided to let the hatred die when Shinji, who just wanted to avoid any further confrontation between anyone, restored his missing eye. This had the unintended effect of having Wei Fei Li feel like he was now indebted to Shinji; nobody else had been able to do what Shinji had demonstrated with his power (or at the very least, willing to). Even though Shinji didn't want the guy to serve him or anything, it was something of a life debt he had forged between himself and Wei Fei Li.
"Are we still on for tomorrow night?" Asuka asked.
"Yes," Shinji answered.
"Totally," added Rei; tomorrow was meant to be their fourth date as they were still getting used to the fact that they were seeing each other.
It wasn't every day that a redhead with red eyes that were once her stigma, a bluenette that lacked a sense of romance and a young man with two souls in one body were engaged and trying to see where their relationship would progress in this new normal that they were in. And technically, it wasn't only the three of them that were going out tomorrow night, either; it was they, Aya and Toya, Yuuhi and Chidori, and Misato, the self-appointed single individual that was coming along in case there was a chance of a new romance for herself.
"I'll see you when you get home, Asuka," Rei told Asuka.
"Okay," Asuka responded, and then her sister turned to walk down the opposite direction on the sidewalk. "I feel bummed out, Shinji."
"Why?" He asked her.
"Rei is still trying to fit in…and she puts homework first."
"She's…just being responsible, that's all."
"But she should be careless sometimes. Should we go to a movie?"
"Yeah, there's three different films playing at the theater. Romance, action or drama?"
"We should reserve the romance for when Rei is with us. Perhaps drama…if you're up for it."
"Sure."
The couple walked the other way down the street.
Wei Fei Li, just making sure that Shinji was going to be fine, followed loosely behind from across the street.
-x-
"…I'm home," Yui called out as she closed the door to the house after returning.
"Welcome back, Yui," went Anzu as she came out of the kitchen, holding a baking pan. "Shinji and Asuka are at a movie and Rei is at home doing schoolwork. How was school for you?"
"I have a challenging time letting go of my pride when it comes to wanting to be among the best…but I'm reminded that nobody is the best. Everyone is…simply good at what they want to do with their lives."
"That's right."
Yui dropped her bag and slipped into her slippers. She walked past some photos and stopped at one with all of them together. It hadn't been that long since Shinji had returned, but it felt like quite a while since they dealt with Kagami and Mikage, and everyone was falling back into a steady rhythm of normality. Or as close to normal as possible as they were just moving on with their lives. But Yui couldn't help but smile at how the photo was a reminder of what they were all fighting for when they discovered what was going on and how far they were willing to go to retake control of their lives.
It feels like it was only yesterday when Shinji came home, she thought as she entered the kitchen.
-x-
"…Ah-ha-ha!" Asuka and Shinji laughed as the guy in the movie was hit in the face with a brick that exploded into black pepper, forcing him to sneeze.
"Aw, come on, man!" The guy told his partner. "Those bricks hurt more than the pepper!"
"You're the one that tried to get with my sister, you prick!" The partner responded, and then kicked him in the balls.
"Oh, he's going to be feeling that!" Shinji expressed before offering Asuka popcorn. "Popcorn?"
"Yeah, thanks," she replied, helping herself to another handful. "Ooh!"
"I hate it when this happens," the guy that was injured expressed as he turned to walk away from his partner and their red van.
"Where do you think you're going?" The partner demanded.
"My alleyway doctor. You know how hard it is to go to a regular doctor when they ask you questions you don't want to answer? The last time I tried that, the lady wanted to know about my last three visits that never happened…and then she tried to have me locked up in her closet."
"You dumbass."
"Heh-heh!" Asuka chuckled.
-x-
"…I'm surprised that you didn't go out with Asuka and Shinji after school tonight, Rei," went Mine to her daughter as she noticed her doing her homework.
"Tomorrow is date night," Rei explained, "and I finally decided on what I want to do as a profession in the future."
"Which is?"
"Be a doctor, helping people."
"That's a good choice."
"Mother. Is it…unusual for Asuka and I to be seeing Shinji? I mean, is it… We both fancy him and everything, but…I don't do anything to make it seem like I have a jealous streak or something…which I don't."
"You mean, is it wrong for the both of you to be involved with the same man?" Mine asked her daughter. "No, it's not wrong. Challenging, maybe. Difficult, possibly. But it's not wrong. You both demonstrate restraint and haven't shown any hint of jealousy towards each other. Plus, if Shinji cares about the both of you, then there's no competition; if he wants for the three of you to be happy, he'll put in the effort to make this relationship work between the three of you."
"I don't mean entirely for me, though. I will be happy with anything that happens, but I don't ever want for there to be conflict between Asuka and I; she's my sister…and she's the fun one."
Mine could see that her daughter was still adjusting to where she was now. Unlike Asuka, who had found stability in her relationship with Shinji when they started dating, able to have fun like any girl her age, Rei was…in a rut when it came to living and enjoying herself. It was as though she only had two settings that she was working on undoing: Home and school. While she had done that one-time move with GeSANG and then returned home, it was still hard for Rei to embrace what it truly meant to live. But she was getting there.
"If you two are able to be civil towards one another without any measure of conflict, I'm sure you'll be able to find a way to be a fun-loving lady in your own time," her mother believed. "My suggestion: Spend the night out and see the town through different eyes. A lot can happen in one night. I mean, when you came back from seeing GeSANG, a lot happened in the span of a few days, right? It's the same here."
"But…it was mostly professional, helping GeSANG, I mean."
"It only becomes personal…when you choose to make it personal. Never mind what others want. Focus on what you want…and go for it."
Rei looked down at her homework…and then decided that she would finish it at another time this evening. She got up from her desk and went to the closet in the hallway.
"Do we still have that old Nintendo we kept meaning to throw out but never did?" She asked her mother as she shifted through storage bins.
"It should be on the top shelf, why?" Mine replied.
"I don't want to waste my time with these online emulators when we have the original version handy for reminiscent times. You and Father liked the old, fighting games if I recall. I found the old cartridges and the controllers. Why did they choose to make this one black, I will never know. Oh, here it is! Um…wanna play, Mother?"
"Sure."
They setup the console and were impressed that the old games still worked.
-x-
It was a rarity, but it was something romantics did from time to time. Magatama Tower was the only place in town where one could get a good view of the entire coastal landscape and see the town bathed in lights without the sounds of the traffic being heard much of the time. In the observation deck of the tower, Shinji and Asuka were just marveling at this place that was their home for years.
"It's so beautiful," Asuka sighs, looking at the buildings closest to the ocean.
"Yeah," Shinji agreed with her, looking at the nearby cliffside where the hospital could be seen. "I remember something I said once about this town."
"It was two years ago…when we came up here that day. It was the truth you said about Magatama. What did you say?"
"It's beautiful to see this town as our home. It's beautiful to live in it. There's no other place like it in our hearts. It's an irreplaceable gem in the crown that is Japan."
Asuka put her hands on his face and turned him to face her.
"It's beautiful…even when it isn't," she told him, reflecting on what she had said on that day they were up here for the first time. "Even right now, it's still beautiful. Even when it isn't."
And then, she kissed him. Ever since he returned to life, both of the Shinjis, merged in body and soul, she kept track of how many times she had kissed him, and this was the fourteenth time. Before he killed himself to keep from killing her, she had kissed Shinji a total of fifty-four times, and when Shinji showed up from another dimension in an accident that probably almost killed him, she kissed him a total of zero times because she didn't want to feel like she was either cheating on him or tarnishing his memory. But now, they were both here, both in front of her, kissing her, and she could see both of them in all their unity.
She saw the young boy that thought her red eyes were beautiful, the young boy that had been left alone by his heartless father, and they were one and the same now. There was no difference in how she saw either because they were the same person. Even now, she could think back to the events that bound her to this guy that had her heart. The day they met, the night they made love, the day at the hospital and the night on the ship to stop Kagami and Gendo. The days that held fear, the days that held contentment, the days that held grief…and the days that held relief.
Shinji, beside himself, just sank into the kiss. His very memory of his first, well, his original first that was not really memorable, forgotten about as he recalled the other first kiss that held the joy he understood was supposed to be there. When it stopped and they came up for air, he must've noticed a few fireworks because suddenly, he saw some behind Asuka.
"Wow," he expressed.
"Yeah," she replied.
"Maybe…I should walk you home now."
"Yeah. I'd like that very much."
They walked to the elevator and Shinji pressed a button for the ground floor.
"We should really expand more for tomorrow," Asuka suggested, wanting to include Rei more.
"What else should we do for tomorrow to make it better?" Shinji asked her.
"I don't know. Something Rei would want to do, I suppose. Except I don't know what she'd want to do on a date."
The last three times the three went out together, it was mainly Asuka that had decided on what they should do to enjoy themselves. This time, Shinji had a hand in planning what they should all do, but now they needed to have Rei have a say in what they should do. While Asuka was quite the expert of what couples often did on dates, what she, Shinji and Rei were becoming was different, and that needed to be worked on further. As complicated as it seemed, it had to benefit all involved.
"All we can really do is ask her what she wants to do tomorrow," Shinji stated.
"Yeah," Asuka agreed.
-x-
No Adam, no Lilith, no Lance of Longinus, virtually no means to implement the Human Instrumentality Project. The knowledge of this letdown led to SEELE being forced to disband and shutdown NERV and all factions relating to the paramilitary agency shortly after their silent hit on Gendo Ikari; as he had disgraced them by ruining their goal and losing the Adam embryo and withholding information as well as letting his arrogance and greed undermine their objective. And with these losses came other issues that arose later. Somehow, a breach in their security was detected and several files with an abundance of information relating to Second Impact, the Angels and the Evas…were suddenly in the possession of every news media outlet, every police organization, practically every group or individual that SEELE had no influence over. This caused the members of the council to go into hiding; with their names and identities being public knowledge, everyone was going to be on the hunt for them.
"…So, the Committee that was in charge of making sure NERV was funded to defend mankind against the Angels," went Misato as she read the newspaper detailing the revelation of the people she used to answer to when NERV was active, more than five months ago, "were the same people that were trying to end the world. This is messed up. How can people like that be in charge of tasking other people to save the human race when they're trying to end it?"
In the few weeks after NERV was shutdown, Asuka was called back to Germany to testify against her parents when their involvement in some shady business was discovered. Not that Asuka had any choice in the matter; with the matter with the Angels resolved, she was required to return to her native country for debriefing and discharging from further duty. Even if Misato were to try and fight this, she didn't have the authority. But it was hoped that once Asuka was done testifying against her parents in their trial, she could return to Japan; the girl might've had her misgivings and claims of disappointment in the country, that was only due to her personal feelings about having to deal with the Angels in a different place that was as alien to her as the people she was to work with…and the revelation of how Shinji had undone the global flooding and restored the coastal areas for people to rebuild and the weather patterns returning to their previous state.
As the weather became winter after too many years, Misato had to express how she was grateful for being able to see the snow fall all across the city after Shinji performed his grand miracle. While it might've been a letdown for Pen-Pen, being a penguin altered to thrive in more temperate weather conditions, the snow was a gift that made the widespread noise of the cicadas a thing of the past because of the returning seasonal shift. Summer was turning into winter, to enable the return of spring, followed by a brief return to summer…and finally autumn…followed by winter again, in the order it was supposed to be in. As more of the world returned to its natural state and adjusted to its altered state with the new, environmental pockets created by Shinji, the people could truly embrace this resurgence that was not the act of any deity or mortal.
Pop! She snapped open her can of beer and then thought back to her teenage counterpart from the alternate universe Shinji relocated to, how she was a descendant of a celestial being and never drank a beer in her life.
We're different versions of each other, she thought as she sighs, but the fact that even after he put an end to the trouble of their lives over there, Shinji still stayed in touch with her. He chose to see her as a friend, not a former victim or an ally.
It was just an unlikely possibility of living to be as old as her teen counterpart from the other universe could live to be if she had a healthier lifestyle, but Misato chose to give up the Yebisu after this final can.
-x-
"I'm home," Asuka called out to Rei or Mine; she wasn't sure which was even present.
"How were you and Shinji doing this evening?" She heard Rei's voice as she stepped into the living room, seeing her and Mine playing video games.
"We were doing fine. Uh…is that the old gaming console?"
"Yeah," answered Mine, whose eyes widened as she knocked Rei's fighter off the roof of their battlefield. "I was surprised that it still worked. Rei beat me five times while I beat her three times in four games."
Thud! The character avatar in the game struck the car and the fight was over.
"I can't believe I had forgotten we had this game," said Asuka.
"I can't believe that I actually put this game down as being something only boys enjoyed. I know this only had one female fighter in the beginning, but this was very…stimulating."
"Well…Killer Instinct is a game that stimulates the mind with its graphics and what have you. And the actual enemy in the storyline of the game, Ultratech, was one of those foes that you couldn't put a face on because it was so diverse and hooked into everything we know."
"Megacorporations or evil corporations are just massive foes that people will eventually feel the need to band together in order to take on and take down to protect others," Mine told her daughters, and they looked at her like she had said something extremely intellectual. "What? I got that from playing the game and watching the Alien and Resident Evil films."
-x-
"…You're back later than we expected," Shinji heard Anzu say as he returned home. "Did you walk Asuka home?"
"Yes," he answered as he hung his coat on the rack and turned to face his grandmother. "I just wanted to make sure she got back safely."
"That's good. How was she before you left?"
"Happy."
"And yourself?"
"Also happy."
"Just one more question, then. Did you fly or use the bus?"
"The bus. I wouldn't be like everyone else if I didn't take public transportation. And there's no need to fly around without aid…unless it's to either deal with someone that is a threat to you or your loved ones…or to impress someone."
It was only a test Anzu would periodically ask Shinji, just to see what he would do when he wasn't at home or with any of them. He still possessed the power of Frenzia's former hagoromo, now his hagoromo, but he rarely made use of it, trying to move past his position as an incarnation of a god-like being and just being a regular person like everyone else. It was better to be an ordinary young man than one that possessed untapped potential that could be dangerous in the wrong hands if he attracted unnecessary attention, and Kagami was among those that swore not to jeopardize Shinji's life after putting an end to the madness that had been started just over two years ago. As she smiled, Anzu walked away and Shinji followed her into the kitchen.
"Your mother went to bed early because she's going to be participating in a patient study at the hospital tomorrow," she informed him as he sat at the table. "What's got you feeling elevated?"
"Everything," he explained. "I used to worry about things that were outside of my comfort zone…and now… I don't worry about much of anything…except the people I love and want to see happy. That's…normal, isn't it? Just being concerned with the people in your life?"
"Yeah… Yes, that is normal, Shinji."
Normal. It was a word that had been seldom used by anyone that has rarely known what it meant. To have access to the world and not be an outsider to it or the people in it, to just have knowledge of nothing but the simplest and most accepted of things, to not have to expect anything out of the ordinary to occur, it was a word that held a power of its own over the few that lived among the many. And it was a power unlike the powers they had either encountered, heard of, possessed…or even gave away.
"What is it about that word that feels so…calming?" Anzu asked him.
"We feel like nothing is for sure, perhaps? Every day is different from the days that came before the days after. To not know what is going on or will happen…and to not have any concerns about something odd happening. It's like…being set free from a darkness you never thought you could get out of. Or that song that puppet sang when he was moving on his own accord."
"Pinocchio, Shinji, and the song was I've Got No Strings. Why that song?"
"We can do whatever we want and not have our choices made for us."
"Heh-heh. Yeah. There are…no strings on any of us, Shinji."
Shinji then gets up and looks inside the refrigerator for leftovers from the day before while Anzu decides to retire to her room.
-x-
In her honest opinion, Asuka, once she had two weeks off from testifying against her father and stepmother and spent them back in Japan, wasn't sure why she even bothered to come to this place when a handful of other people showed up to see a statue being unveiled to the public. It was only when a girl she recognized with a different hair color pulled the covering off to reveal the statue…that she was glad she made the choice to come.
Rei Ayanami, with dark hair and wearing a gray sweater with trousers, looked a little different from before, pulled the tarp off to reveal the statue was a life-size, marble-made replica of Shinji Ikari, looking like a regular person among regular people.
Asuka had to admit that for a marble statue, it really did look like Shinji, down to the very expression on his face. It was as though Rei had captured the very essence of the boy and sculpted him a detailed replica of his body, down to his simple sneakers and uniform shirt and pants. As simple as he looked, it was beautiful in every sense.
"He's magnificent," went a man in a suit.
"Yes, he is," a woman with a six-year-old girl added.
People applauded the statue, and Rei noticed Asuka with tears in her eyes…and walked over to her as the people gathered closer to the work of art.
"Pilot Soryu," she greeted.
"It's just Asuka," the redhead responded. "Nobody really cares much about…that, anymore. Did you really…make that?"
"Yes."
"It's beautiful. Really, it is. I didn't expect for it to be so…life-like."
"When I left Tokyo-3, I didn't have a destination in mind…and I went to an exhibition in a neighboring town. It was mostly just children displaying their arts and crafts to anyone that stopped to look for even a few seconds. There was this one sculpture made by a little boy that got my attention, and I asked him about it. He said that it was his twin brother. It didn't really look like his brother, but he put a lot of effort into making it. I really liked it."
"Is that why you wanted to sculpt Shinji?"
"Yes…and no. A woman that was showing their art off asked me if there was anyone that I knew enough to sculpt. It was a difficult question because I couldn't speak of anyone in that sense."
"But you knew enough about Shinji to sculpt him."
"I knew enough about how he looked, but when it comes to who he is…or was…I barely knew anything about him outside of his NERV profile."
"He's a tidy person. Smart, but not a genius, despite who his parents were; I don't think he really valued scientific knowledge beyond the boundaries of saving people's lives with medical treatment. He didn't have friends until he met some people here that he felt he could open up to, even if only to a degree. He…he hated piloting the Eva because of his father…but longed for his acknowledgment of him. And when he grasped a power that made him a walking deity among mortals, he knew that he couldn't come back here and live his life, knowing that there would be people after him for reasons that he wanted nothing to do with, and when faced with a choice to either stay here or relocate to another dimension where he actually has a life because he wasn't known to anyone that was after him for some reason or another… He…he… I know that it was his choice to go, and that it was a choice that was made easy for him before his father crossed the line with his life and all for something he would never have, I still don't like the fact that…before he made his choice…he asked my doppelgänger, of all the doppelgängers we had seen from the other universe…if it was alright for him to be there with all of them. I hate that he couldn't just…stay here…and find a solution where people wouldn't come after him."
"But doing so would mean he would have to control people…and he didn't want to do that. He chose freedom of choice over manipulation. And…on a deeper level…Shinji wanted a life where he could experience happiness and love. In the end, he really wanted a life where he could actually live. Wealth, fame, power, luxury? If he wanted these and more, he could take them without restriction. But would he be happy? Would he feel content? Would he feel…whole?"
"With only a guess and an opinion, I doubt that Shinji is the kind of person that would want those things. If he had to be greedy for something, what he wanted most wasn't even something that could be obtained like money or jewelry or some materialistic item. He'd want…what he felt he didn't have…and didn't have for much of his life. Fame? It's not worth it if you're not honest with yourself. Power? What is power to someone like Shinji? He grasped power after his father killed him, and he returned to life, dealt with the majority of the world's biggest issues that we had no means to resolve ourselves, and he doesn't use it to do things that would make him a dictator like his father could've been if he had gotten ahold of that hagoromo. He's not a madman or control freak. And luxury? Heh. He enjoys water from a hot spring or bathtub and cooking his own meals rather than a jacuzzi or fine dining. He's the most…down-to-Earth person to have ever lived…and what he wanted out of life…he couldn't have here. Not as long as people would be interested in the power he has. Not ever."
They turned to look at the statue again and could only ponder how Shinji was doing in the other universe he called his home.
-x-
In her honest opinion, the movie felt very…unfulfilling. It wasn't because of the plot or the characters or the actors, but because she was unable to get into it like Shinji and Asuka had been able to. And for Rei, she didn't want to be a stick in the mud and drag these two with her, which was why she was trying to integrate herself into what these two were and adjust their relationship. It was difficult to find common ground when she felt like she wasn't interested in what they were interested in, which was far from the truth; she did find some interest in their interests, just not so much.
Shinji had taken notice of this and pondered how to move from this. It wasn't lost to Asuka, either, who had noticed when she was about to ask if there was any more popcorn.
"It's a terrible movie, isn't it?" She asked her sister.
"No," Rei replied, even though it was a lie.
"It's just a film," Shinji tells her. "You can speak your mind, Rei."
"You two seem to be enjoying it."
"But are you enjoying it? That's what we want to know."
Rei sighs and responds that she's not enjoying the film. Even though it was her choice, she didn't expect it to be dull.
"I'll be honest, I thought this film was going to be awful," Asuka tells Rei. "It's not bad, but it's not…that good."
"Do you two want to get out of here?" Rei asks them.
"Yeah," they responded, and the three got up and left the theater.
"I'm sorry I had you two watch a mockbuster film," she apologizes.
"Don't be," Shinji replies. "It wasn't all that bad. It was more like those…those boxes of the jellybeans that are every flavor imaginable from that book series; you never really know what you're going to get."
"Yeah," Asuka agreed with him. "There's no way to know for sure if we're going to enjoy something or not until we try to see where it takes us. The night is still young. We don't have to be home until…eleven-ish?"
Shinji promised Mine Ayanami that he would have the girls back before midnight, so he wanted to make sure they were home before eleven-thirty. Even though it seemed that the maternal bluenette was okay that they were back after midnight…or even the morning after, which he wanted to avoid if at all possible.
"Eleven-ish?" Rei questions with some confusion. "All that seems off is the lack of thrilling?"
"Thrilling?" Shinji went; he never expected to hear Rei say such a word.
"Thrilling," she clarified. "People looking for exhilaration, some sense of spice. We don't feel exhilarated for some reason. I don't think seeing three different movies between all of us is as effective as we believed."
Of course, she was referring to the fact that they weren't the only ones in the theater; Aya and Toya went to see a romance film, Chidori and Yuuhi went to see an action film…and Misato, the only person who was single…was somewhere in the middle. This multi-dating scenario was a challenge because it involved two standard couples and an in-progress throuple along with single friend. While it was probably working well for Aya and Chidori, it was something to work on for Shinji and the girls.
"Did your movie end already?" They heard Misato ask, standing behind Shinji.
"Aah!" He gasps as he turns around. "No, we weren't all enjoying it like we had anticipated. We… Huh?"
Behind Misato were Aya, Toya, Chidori and Yuuhi.
"I'm pretty sure your movies were longer than ours," Asuka states.
"We were enjoying the films, really," went Chidori, "except we…"
"It was hard to sit through them," explained Toya.
"Why?" Rei asks.
"Some of what we saw in the films," Aya utters.
"We kind of lived through them," added Yuuhi.
"Yeah," Shinji agrees. "Okay. Movies are a work in-progress. Scratch that, normality is a work in-progress that is complicated."
"Uh, I've never felt normal," says Misato to them, "and no offense to any of you, but none of you have ever felt normal since you had your simple days uprooted by ancestral craziness and people either afraid of or obsessed with what they believe we're capable of for whatever reasons they had. It's been one crazy adventure with twists and turns and ups and downs. And when it's over…it's hard to get back into the rhythm of normality. At least…when you're trying too hard to pick up where you left off like it all never happened."
"Very philosophical," Rei tells her. "Any suggestions?"
"Stop trying to pick up where you left off and just be yourselves. You have your whole lives to get back into the rhythm. Date like you do. Enjoy some craziness. Me? I'm still waiting for Mr. Right to step into my life, whenever that will be."
"Okay," Aya went, "we're all basically in a new rut and we're trying to get out of it. There, I finally said it."
"Eh-heh-heh!" Chidori laughs. "Yeah."
"Ha-ha, we suck," Yuuhi expresses, admitting that they were doing terrible.
"No argument from me," Shinji admits, "but look on the bright side, and there is a bright side, we're all still here and we all got something to say about it."
"I was expecting us ladies to dress fancy," Aya tells them.
"There's nothing wrong with going casual," Asuka responds.
"Movies have been done for decades," Toya expresses his opinion on their choice for date night.
"It's hard to break from tradition," says Rei. "I wouldn't mind being a thrill seeker, getting out of my comfort zone every now and them. Honestly, I wouldn't mind something as ridiculous as…I don't…walking across the beach at night or…waiting for the sunrise."
"Why don't we do that, then?" Shinji suggests.
"Blow the curfew," Asuka adds in.
-x-
He wasn't sure whether to call it a miracle or a sense of tragic irony, but Fuyutsuki, who was tasked with overseeing the disassembling of the Evangelions, witnessed the return of their primary creator, Yui Ikari, expelled from the exposed core of Unit-01. She was unconscious, but alive, looking exactly as she had when she disappeared during the contact experiment with the incomplete Eva. That was four days ago.
"How do you explain this?" Ritsuko asked him as they stood outside the room housing the woman that Gendo did his despicable acts to try and regain. "The previous attempt to salvage the original pilot failed over ten years ago."
It only failed because she chose to remain inside the Eva, he thought, wondering why Yui chose to return now, after everything that happened. "Maybe she found a way to get out herself."
But Ritsuko wasn't buying that possibility. After her mind-bending encounter with a digital ghost of Shinji from a different reality where he was condemned by his parents, she was willing to believe that there were other realities, other possible worlds, where every choice, every random likelihood…skewered into new unknowns, new planes of existence. Demonic machines, rogue intelligence with genocidal goals, stumbling into forbidden realms where monstrous beings with unrealistic abilities fought for control over the planet. But if Yui Ikari had returned, what kind of life was she expecting to come back to after everything that happened?
-x-
It was after midnight…and those girls hadn't returned home yet. Not that Mine was worried; she expected Rei and Asuka would stay the night with Shinji, but she couldn't shut her maternal concerns off. She knew Shinji would keep them safe, she just wished they called or texted her to let her know that they wouldn't be home yet. The craziest thing about having to care for those two was how hard it was to cope with the fact that normality was anything but present in their lives; whether it was because of the former stigma of Asuka's red eyes, the lack of a carefree attitude for Rei, or even the magatama-shaped rocks that gave their town its name and place on the map, normality was simply a word that was nearly impossible to embrace.
Beep! Mine raised her phone up and saw a text from Yui Ikari, asking if her daughters had contacted her this evening.
I'm guessing that her son didn't contact her, either, thought Mine as she responded that her daughters had not contacted her.
They're probably hanging out at the beach, Yui's next text message read, which alleviated Mine of some concern.
Those three are very good at making us worry about them, aren't they? She texted back to Yui.
Yeah, but they're still kids looking for the next great thrill in their lives. They should enjoy themselves before adulting later on.
Adulting… Is that what they're calling it now?
Yes.
Not a bad word.
-x-
"…So…you saw him…before he left?" Fuyutsuki asks Yui as he sat in front of her, learning what she knew so far.
"He had two interlocked irises in both his eyes," she explained to him. "He was two people in one body. He might've not been the same person he was before he was displaced into that other dimension…but he knew more than I had expected of him to know…and he was resentful of what was intended to happen."
"Yui…your husband killed him over a relic he was trying to inherit in that dimension, something that he was never going to possess because he was neither recognized or accepted as a member of the Ikari family of that reality…and that kind of fact affects people in ways we don't really comprehend fully. As angry as I'm sure he was about it, Shinji wasn't going to sully his own hands and get revenge when he was aware of there being other people that wanted to take their revenge upon him. Why would anyone do anything personally to someone else when there are others that can and will do it themselves?"
"Maybe he was counting on them to do what he wouldn't?" She suggested.
"But he had no intention of controlling people. He became similar to a god…but had no desire to decide what would become of us. Instead, he left us to choose what we would do with our lives…but those who were responsible for Second Impact would be dealt with in due time. He restored a world maimed fifteen years ago…his first and last miracle…and it's up to us to keep it that way. Even if we were to try to continue with the Human Instrumentality Project, we wouldn't get anywhere we wanted to. Shinji made sure of that. All we can do…is move on."
"Moving on…seems difficult when you don't know how to."
"Only as difficult as you allow it to be."
"But even if I had chosen to remain inside the Eva…Shinji told me that it would never serve as an eternal testament to mankind's existence, no matter what I did. That it was a false deity that would never be recognized as a true deity."
"Yeah… He mentioned something of the sort; people that try to create their own gods…lose the faith and respect of the ones that already exist. Godhood isn't something that is obtained by trying to create something that will not be accepted by the masses…but has to be earned by gaining the admiration of those that have lost their faith and need to believe that there is someone out there that has their best interests at heart. A false deity can't represent the people's interest truthfully if their intentions are flawed from the beginning. Even a demigod can't represent the hopes and dreams of everyone."
But Yui… All she had right now…was just her life that had been reduced to pieces because of her actions when her son was barely a toddler. She had barely begun to pick up the pieces; her husband was dead, murdered with an investigation that may yield no suspects or any culprits, and her son had left, presumably with no intention to ever return out of fear of being sought after by people that would want the power he possessed, wanting only to live and decide for himself what he wanted to do or be in his future free from the Eva, from NERV, from his parents' decisions. How could she rebuild…when her family was gone…and all she had of them…were small memories and words unspoken between the three of them?
-x-
The fire had died out long ago, but the light of the rising sun and the chilly breeze had been enough to ease the minds of the young people that had been on the beach the entire night. For Shinji, it was one of those experiences that he was glad to be alive to have. The crying of the seagulls, the sounds of the ocean waves… You couldn't fake any of these moments and claim to enjoy when they were real and the kind you could have more than once if you allowed yourself to embrace them.
"Best night out by far?" He asks Asuka, Rei and the others.
"Yeah," Aya responds, being held by Toya.
"Totally," Chidori adds as she sits on Yuchi's lap.
"Awesome night out," Misato tells them.
"Beautiful," went Rei as she gazes out at the sunrise.
As Shinji returned his gaze to the horizon, he wondered what was next for them all. And then he felt Asuka hold his right hand while Rei held his left hand.
To be continued…
A/N: Long overdue. I'm hoping the final chapter will be to your liking when it's worked on and completed, which is still a long way from right now. Until then, I hope you enjoy this chapter.