I wake up in the hotel room with you, and we have sex again. You are very gentle like you promised.
I feel lifeless.
I mean, of course, my body takes over and I enjoy the sex. But my heart doesn't beat faster when you are around. I find you very attractive, and we are enjoying our time together, but something feels missing.
You just don't have anything left to wish for, and everything is moving fast. I try to reason with myself.
But you are both older, maybe that's why the relationship is moving fast. I am 26, not 16, I reminded myself.
I should hurry to get home, but the longer I stay in New York, the more I love it. I can understand why Philip misses the city so much.
"My mom wants to meet us for lunch," he says as I pack up my bag.
I tried to find the words to tell him this relationship was going too fast. I wasn't even his girlfriend yet. We are only dating. I am not ready to meet family yet.
"Do you think it's a good idea? Maybe we should wait," I said softly.
"I do. No reason to wait. I figure we will be having our wedding by the end of June anyway. We will need to look into getting that tattoo removed before then," he says confidently.
June is only four months away, I think. I know I wouldn't want to get married that soon.
If I am going to be with him, I will have to want what he wants. That seems obvious. He didn't seem to have much room for compromise.
"Let me change my shirt. If I'm going to meet your mom," I said, avoiding the June wedding comment.
We met his mom at Joe Allen's. The hotel has our bags at the front desk, and I wonder if Philip will try to say we need to stay another night.
"She is stunning, Philip," his mother, Natalie Blake, says, looking at me. She has dark hair and the same blue eyes as her son's.
We all ordered the steaks, and his mom is very nice. I really liked her.
"I know. She's a paralegal too. She majored in political science. So she's really smart, " Philip brags.
"Are you guys thinking of having your wedding at the Plaza Hotel in June?" She asked.
"If we can get a spot, we might have to wait until September or October," he says, answering for me.
"So what's your middle name? We'll have to know it to send out the invites," she asked.
"Victoria, " I said quietly, listening to the two of them plan out the wedding I hadn't agreed to yet.
"Andrea Victoria Blake, I love it. You have a beautiful name," his mom says contently.
"We will come back in a few weeks, " Philip promised her.
Soon, we're headed back to the airport. He places his arms around the small of my back. His body language tells me that I belong to him now.
"I made an appointment with a dermatologist I know to look at your tattoo. Her name is Dr. Kathleen Tyler. She will see you Monday after work. Martinez will drive you." He says, looking over at me and waiting for my response.
"Okay. I suppose he can pick me up after work," I replied.
"I know you're thinking about going back to your apartment, Andrea," he says as the plane takes off.
"Of course I am. I mean, I am paying rent to live there. I doubt I could get out of my lease." I objected.
"If you can get out of your lease, would you like to move in with me? I work a lot of long days, and it will be easier to see each other if you're living with me." He says, making perfect sense.
"Yes, I'll talk with my landlord about it. Though it's doubtful I can get out of it. I do want a smaller wedding than what your mom was talking about. I can't imagine spending that much. Or having that many people looking at me." I said, feeling like I was already engaged.
"We can make a compromise. As long as my mom is there, she'll be happy. I could be happy if we just went to Vegas." he says.
"Thank you for understanding," I said.
We arrived back at Philip's house. We had sex for the third time; this time he was a little rougher and I enjoyed it. Every time he gets better, probably because I am more relaxed each time. I know he wants me to stay all night, so I take a bath, get dressed for bed, and go into the bedroom to read a book. He stays in the living room watching a football game. And I feel like I am getting some time to myself.
When he proposes marriage, I'll say yes. I had no family and I wanted so badly to belong to someone.