Monday is dragging on. I had finished all the legal paperwork, so Negan had me driving all over, running errands and picking up lunch.
Today I picked up pizzas for everyone in the office from Domino's and had to stop at Target for sodas. Negan rarely gives office parties, but I didn't ask what the occasion was. He didn't tell me either.
He told us the office was because we were awesome employees.
At lunch, Philip texted me to remind me about my tattoo removal appointment and informed me he'd be working late. I ate a few slices of pizza with a Diet Pepsi. I double-checked my paperwork. Then, when work was over, Martinez was waiting for me in the limousine.
He drives the twenty-minute drive to the doctor's office in silence. I get out of the limousine and go inside. The place looks expensive. Philip has given me his credit card to pay for the appointment. He says I can use it whenever I need something, and I feel awkward about that.
I am called to the back quickly.
Dr. Tyler looks at the tattoo on my shoulder. She is really pretty with blonde hair and brown eyes. I am guessing she is about forty-three years old or maybe a little older.
"So nice to meet you, Andrea. Philip and I attended some college classes together. I'm happy to help you. I think the tattoo will be easy to remove with minimal scarring," she says calmly.
"Will it hurt?"
"A little, but it should only take two laser treatments since the tattoo is small. If you decide you want to proceed with the removal," she says.
The doctor's appointment is over, so Martinez drives me back to my Mustang at the law firm.
"Mr. Blake has to work late but still wants you to stay all night," Martinez informed me.
"I'll be there later. I need to stop at my apartment and pick up a few things."
"Make sure you come back afterward. If it's too late or you're too tired, call me, and I will pick you up whenever you are. Mr. Blake wants you there," he said, clearly annoyed with me.
Feels like Martinez is being my babysitter, and I just want some time to myself. He drives off finally, and I decided to go to Barnes and Noble before going to my apartment. Walking into a bookstore is a magical experience for me. The smell of coffee and seeing all the shelves filled with books is just like heaven.
I picked up the new Colleen Hoover book and then walked through the store, taking my time to look around. That's when I saw Shane again.
"What are you doing here?" I said, dropping the book and giving him a hug. His skin against mine feels so good. How do I feel so relaxed with him?
Shane held me in his arms, and I was suddenly fifteen years old again. I pulled away, getting the book off the floor.
"Work, actually. Just arrested a teenager for shoplifting. It's a shame, really." He says calmly.
"Yes, teenagers are so fearless. Would you like to grab dinner or something?" I asked, knowing I shouldn't.
"I wish I had time. I could take a break for some coffee," he says, pointing at the Starbucks.
"Sure," I said, walking over to the counter with him. I ordered a hot chocolate, and Shane got a black coffee. He paid for the drinks, and I bought my book. We were the only customers, so the barista handed us our drinks almost immediately.
"So how have you been? I heard about Amy. I am so sorry. She was a good kid." Shane said, offering me his hand. I held his hand for a moment and let it go. We sat down together in gray soft chairs, I could stay here in this moment forever.
"I am making it somehow," I said honestly.
"I missed you, Andrea. I've messed up a lot since you left. I got my best friend's wife pregnant, and now I'm trying to get visitation rights. I have a daughter named Judith. I've been lost with you. Do you ever think about what might have been?" He says it so softly that I can barely hear him.
"Sometimes, I thought you might come back for me, but you never did. Not to say hi or anything. You joined the police academy and disappeared from my life." I admitted.
"I did. I came back your senior year. I was staying at my mom's house. She told you were Ariel in the school musical The Little Mermaid, straight As, and still class president. I saw you at one of the local restaurants, the Shake Shop, with some friends. You looked happy. I wanted nothing more than to ask you back out, but I just didn't feel good enough, you know what I mean? You were going to be a doctor or lawyer. I was just this cop," he replies.
"I wish you had at least talked to me," I said, staring into his brown eyes.
"Yes, I just wanted you to have the best life. So I stayed out of the picture. Thought you were better off without me. But I feel things are different now. We could try spending some time together if you wanted. Maybe like a date on Saturday, because you seem like you could use someone too," he said, looking into her pale blue eyes.
We get up from the chairs, throw away the paper. Starbucks cups, and he takes my hand, walking with me to my blue Mustang. I haven't answered him yet, and we are standing beside my car, his arms around me.
"What exactly are you saying?" I asked, a little surprised.
"I was sort of curious if you might be willing to give us another chance." He asked.
"I can't," I said finally.
"Why not?" Shane asked.
"I met someone. His name is Philip Blake, and he has been really good for me. He is a doctor and we have a lot in common. We actually just went to New York together," I said, not moving away from him.
"I am glad, Andi. I only want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me," he says, not letting me go.
In that moment, he moves closer and kisses my lips softly out there in the parking lot. For a moment, I kiss him back, and the kiss is passionate and familiar.
"I am so sorry. We can't do this," I said, pulling away.
"Well, here is my number. If you change your mind or just need to talk, I'm here. I really do hope you are happy." He says, writing it down on a piece of paper that I fold up and put in my jean pocket. He walks off slowly, feeling like there is finally some sort of closure on our relationship.
I get in my Mustang, turning on "Fast Car" (the Tracy Chapman version), hoping to make these old feelings go away.
I drove to my apartment quickly, attempted to speak with the landlord about my lease, but he wasn't there. I decided to try again tomorrow. I went into my apartment for a few things, then made the drive to Philip's mansion.
Philip opened the door for me, and I looked into his blue-green eyes, feeling guilty about the kiss with Shane.
I pull him into my arms, holding him so tightly.
"I don't want to lose you," I whispered into his ear.
"You can't. You're stuck with me," he promises. He then helped me with my bags of clothes from the apartment. I consider telling him about the kiss but decide against it. It was only a kiss, I tell myself.