Hello again, avid readers! Thanks for tuning in again on Gensokyo Misadventures, hopefully to not see me almost die again! But really, who am I trying to fool? That's what is going to obviously happen..
No convenient chapter change to skip time though, I'm exactly where I last left off. Me and Sanae are currently walking to the shrine, so that I can relax for some time after multiple life threatening experiences. Damn, don't you just hate it when those happen?
We are currently in a kind of awkward silence, so for no reason I just say "Dammit, this is NOT how I wanted my isekai adventure to go…" I mean, that is an actual, true, factual statement.
Sanae actually giggles a bit "Hehehe…" Congratulations Aki! You made a cute girl laugh! I deserve a reward for that.
[Quest completed: Make a cute girl laugh]
[Reward: 100 AP IP]
Oh hell yeah, those are the hardcore gamer quests I need.
So we enter the shrine, into what I think it's the main room and… wow. I honestly don't know a lot about rural Japanese interiors, so all of this is really strange to me. Something I have to note is that this place is probably way bigger than an actual shrine, since there are like, a lot more rooms here.
Also, there's a kotatsu here! Haven't seen any of these in real life, and they look super comfortable actually. As we apparently move to sit on the kotatsu..
*GROWL* My stomach just loudly and, quite frankly, cartoonishly growls for some reason. Sanae turns to look at me slightly confused and uhhh…
"Yeah, I kinda forgot that I haven't eaten anything in like, at least 7 hours" I mention.
Sanae has a quick look of realization on her face "Oh yeah right… I think I can make some tea. Wait for me here alright? And don't touch anything!" She said while leaving me alone in the kotatsu, DAMN these things are comfortable.
Also, I get my own self-insert-brand tea party with touhous! Yeah, apparently no other drinks for breakfast exist in Gensokyo for some reason, but hey I'm not complaining. Also, is this breakfast? Lunch? Brunch? Holy hell, I need a clock because I've completely lost track of time here.
So right now as I'm just chilling under the kotatsu, I start observing the interior for a bit. I see that this place actually has electricity built into it, as I spot some plugs in the walls and other devices like a lamp on one of the shelves. I wonder if the other touhous actually know how to operate these things or Sanae has to be like when you explain how a phone works to your grandma…
But my thoughts are interrupted again, as I hear a voice coming from outside the room..! "A visitor at this time of the day? Who could that be…" That's… oh, that's the Goddess Kanako. Damn, she's tall. She enters the room and sees me just sitting there. I imagine that must have been unexpected…
She raises a brow "Well, good morning.. Outsider? What would an Outsider be doing here at this hour?" She looks.. only slightly confused, actually. So I guess I have a couple of things to explain…
"Well.. to keep it short, Sanae brought me in because youkai have almost killed me like 10 times, and I've been running for hours" That's the best way to summarize everything that has happened thus far, I think.
"Hmm… well, that is certainly a way to sum up what has happened to you, your story seems to be a very peculiar one. Not everyone manages to meet the individuals you've met, much less on those very particular circumstances you have found yourself on" She says as she comes to sit on the side of the kotatsu to my left. Wait, does that mean she knew about me already? Why did she even question me?!
"So… you know everything?" I ask. I guess she must know about me thanks to, uhh, wind powers..? I don't fucking know, goddeses and their powers are super vague.
She gives me a little smile "Well, yes. The wind is everywhere, is it not?" Yeah, her and her undescribed cosmic abilities or some shit, of course.
"Yeah, you and the wind…" Man, having vague powers that let you interpret them in many ways is a great resource for making a fictional universe, but it's not something good when you're living there!
Kanako leans forward a bit "Hmm.. you know, I don't recall our shrine maiden ever introducing herself to you, nor I for that matter.." Oh fuck… "Yet, you seem to always know who you're speaking to. Now, why would that be?"
"W-well.." Emm ok, so, some people might be asking why I don't wanna tell people about me coming from somewhere where touhou is fictional and all, and it's for a very simple reason: I don't know what would happen. What would someone like Reimu or Yukari do if they knew that an entity like the system, which can transport people around dimensions and seemingly freely alter reality, actually exists? AND that I'm somehow related to it?! I just don't wanna find out.
Just as I was about to speak, Kanako continues "Don't be so foolish as to think you can lie to a God. It's pretty obvious you have some sort of secret you're hiding" So she can see right through me for some reason, huh…
I guess I need to be slightly truthful about this "..Well, yes. I have something to hide, but… it's nothing really. It's just something that could be misinterpreted greatly by certain people"
She kinda just continues staring at me… it's making me a bit nervous! "O-of course, I don't want you to think it's like the super evil secret that would foil my great master plan or anything. I'm just some guy, really.." Stop giving me the stare of death Kanako!
Kanako smiles a little again "Heh.. don't you worry, I don't sense any evil intentions within you. Also, I'm not one to simply jump to conclusions that easily, unlike maybe.. a certain shrine maiden" Wow, she just HAD to diss Reimu like that? Do they actually have bad blood between them or something?
"Speaking of shrine maidens… what do you think of ours? Isn't she cute?" Kanako's smile grows wider! Uh oh..
What do I even respond? "Um… y-yeah, I guess" That was the best I could muster.
Kanako just continues doing this for some reason "You seemed to get along with her fine, didn't you? Both of you being outsiders and all…" Kanako, we just spoke for 5 minutes! Where the hell are you getting these ideas from?!
I'm calling off this topic of conversation now! "Em, no. Just no. I'm.. not here for that kinda stuff, sorry"
Kanako's smile drops a little bit as she looks up, seemingly disappointed "Oh well.." I can tell how forced that expression is. Also, that stuff won't happen, since I don't think I want a harem, or a girlfriend for that matter! It seems like a lot of work, and I'm not interested.
Also, the author knows jack shit about writing romance so it will definitely not happen any time soon.
After that, we kinda just both stop talking for a minute. I have to say, while Sanae is more cute, Kanako just looks… elegant. I think that's the best way to describe her. Also, all this time she has been here, that floating circle thing behind her has been with her, what does that even do?
Kanako suddenly brings something up "Now that you say it, you brought something interesting to mind. What would you be here for, then? Do you have something to aspire to?" That question just hits me like a brick to the face.
…
"I don't know" Is the only thing I can answer.
"Oh…? You don't know?" First time Kanako looks genuinely confused at something, my answer apparently catching her off-guard.
Suddenly, the door slides open and Sanae enters holding a little wooden tray with a tea set on it "Sorry if I made you wait! I was preparing… oh, good morning Lady Kanako! I didn't know you were here.. " She says as she lays down our tea on the kotatsu, it actually smells really good… she prepared cookies as well! "So, there was this Outsider I brought here because, umm.." Why does she look so nervous?
Kanako interrupts Sanae when she stumbles on her own words "Good morning. Don't you worry, I already know what transpired, there's no problem. And as you can see, I was just chatting with our… eccentric Outsider here" What's so eccentric about me?! You are talking like if I actually had any character.
Sanae breathes a sigh of relief as she sits on the side of the kotatsu in front of me "Ah, really? What were you two talking about?"
Kanako laughs a little under her breath, "Oh, not a whole lot. He was just telling me what led him here.." Thanks for skipping over the other nefarious parts of our conversation…
Kanako then speaks to me again "You know, even if we apparently don't require an introduction to you.. we still haven't received one from you yet" Sanae looks confused for a second at the comment, but doesn't say anything. Also, uh oh.
I'm a fucking dumbass. Aki, you know in conversations 101 you at least introduce yourself!
So.. "Yeah I guess I didn't do that for some reason. My name's Aki, just some outsider guy and…" Umm, is there anything else to say really? "..."
Sanae looks slightly confused at my, probably longer than necessary, silence "..And? Really got nothing else to say?" What do you even want me to say?!
"..." Yeah, the brain bank has runned dry at this point.
Kanako seems to notice my social ineptitude "Well, don't you have anything else to note? Maybe particular skills you have? Where do you come from?" I can't believe I have to be pushed by a Goddess to actually TALK WELL.
"So… uhhh, I guess I was studying a bit of hardware engineering? And.. I come from a country in Latin America.." Holy shit this is so difficult "I have some, emm, maybe magical..? Volatile movement abilities, and… that's it really" Best introduction you've ever heard, I assure you.
…
Sanae has a slight look of disappointment on her face "I thought isekai protagonists were supposed to be interesting.." What?! No they aren't!
Kanako's expression however, doesn't change a lot "Well, I guess not everything happens like in fairy tales…" That is very ironic considering Touhou is just one big fairy tale, in more ways than one.
…
Oh boy, I sure do love my awkward silence moments.
THANKFULLY, Sanae saves this conversation somehow "So… I still have a lot of questions for you, you know? Like, how did you actually escape so many Youkai? How did you even get here?" Well, I guess this is something I can actually speak about.
(GENSOKYO MISADVENTURES, TEA PARTY NOW INCLUDED)
So I went all ""Now, listen to my tale.."" mode to tell her more about what happened. Kanako could have just told her, but she didn't for some reason. While basically telling them the first chapter of the fic, I got to finally eat something! This tea is actually really good. I asked and it's apparently just some sort of green tea, so I guess Gensokyo logic just makes tea taste better or something.
When I finish telling her everything, Sanae quickly realizes something "Wait.. you must be the one that people are saying is the culprit of the recent Youkai invasion of the village!" Wait wait wait wait, who said what?!
"Huh?!" Am I on the news already or… ok, we all know that would be a rhetorical question. The tengu supposedly work really fast don't they…
Kanako apparently uses some telekinesis to float a paper up to me from… somewhere "You should probably read this" She says, and as I grab the paper I read..
Oh wait. I actually don't read shit, this is in Japanese! I can't… oh. Suddenly, the text starts translating itself into English, in a way I can only describe as ""artificial looking"" really, probably meaning it's the system's doing. So now I actually read it and…
-Bunbunmaru Newspaper-
-Youkai invade Human Village! A coordinated effort by Youkai?
-Today in the pre-morning hours of the 19th of June, 139, a massive coalition of Youkai were spotted trespassing the village's walls, seemingly being led by one Youkai disguised as an Outsider that gave them directions on where to go and what to do, according to some eyewitnesses. Due to the village's protector, Keine Kamishirasawa, being temporarily unavailable for unknown reasons at the moment, the youkai managed to reach the center of the village, beginning a very chaotic movement of destruction against its infrastructure and the people on it.
-Keine Kamishirasawa arrived quite late at the scene and proceeded to exterminate all the Youkai assaulting the village. However, the one leader of the group proved to be more elusive, as they successfully escaped after being chased through the village.
Below is an image of me being chased off by Keine, around slightly before I reached the village walls…
-The Youkai's whereabouts are currently unknown. The Hakurei Shrine Maiden has declared that she would "Find the culprit", then refused to be interrogated more.
-Honest and True reporter, Aya Shameiraru
…
I just hold my head in my hands out of frustration "FUCK" Seriously? I'm public enemy number 1 here?! This entire accusation is just, so fucking stupid, I… I just can't deal with this…
Sanae seems to try and comfort me for a second "Hey, we know you didn't do that stuff! It's the truth!"
Yeah, right… "And Reimu will absolutely listen to reason and not shove her gohei down my throat?" I don't know if that's actually how Reimu is here, but I just have this gut feeling of danger approaching.
Sanae looks sorrowful for a moment "W-well…" She didn't seem to have more to say…
I just have to ask the girls this question "How.. how can you tell I'm an outsider, but not Keine apparently?" Just.. why?!
Kanako decides to answer "Well.. differentiating Youkai from humans is actually no easy task. It takes the powers of a God like myself, or other similarly powerful beings to notice the intricacies of how humanoid Youkais differentiate from humans" Oh…
"It's also not something new for Youkai to disguise themselves as Outsiders to try and infiltrate the village" She adds. How freaking great…
Ok, so this may not be as bad as I think it is… "So.. would you be able to tell people I'm not a youkai? If.. If it may not be too much to ask?" Please, PLEASE don't make me do some shitty sidequest for a simple favor like this…
Kanako turns to look at Sanae for a second, who has a very worried expression actually, then looks back at me and says "...Sure" oh thank GOD, QUITE LITERALLY.
I don't even know why they must care so much, but I'll fucking take it! I'm definitely not someone worthy of being conveniently cared for by these people, but I won't question it at all.
However, our entire discussion is cut by a very peculiar sound.
*SNAP* We look back at the door that leads outside, and… see Aya Shameiraru, the infamous tengu reporter taking a picture of us talking… great "Culprit of Youkai invasion found at shrine! Could this all be a Moriya conspiracy?!" She says way, WAY too excitedly for some reason.
We all just kinda stare at her with a bored look on our faces "Hey, good pictures require good reactions you know?! Come on, look surprised or something.." She says as she tries and snap another picture of us-
*FWOOSH* Holy fuck! A huge gust of wind just sends Aya flying away instantly! How much speed was that?! And how did it not destroy anything else?!
Considering the powers of the goddess sitting right beside me, I imagine she must have gotten annoyed. Honestly, not a very uncommon turn of events.
Also that was 3 paragraphs down the drain just for Aya to interrupt. Great.
…
As the ""conversation"" died down a bit and we were just enjoying the cookies (seriously, they taste really good) we hear another voice!
"Kaaanakoo.. isn't that the third time this week you are sending tengu flying away at mach 10?" Says the Goddess Suwako as she enters the room as well, and holy shit she's so fucking tiny.
"Well, they know they can't just show up snooping over here like that" Wow, Kanako actually sounds quite annoyed for some reason, is this an actual common occurrence or something?
Suwako yawns a bit "Just don't make them get all angry again like last time.. Oh?" She seems to take notice of me and just starts speaking louder for some reason "Hello Outsidey guy! Haven't seen any of you in quite some time!" she suddenly moves way too close for comfort…!
What even.. "Em, um, uhh.." Why did she have to get in my face?!
Sanae thankfully saves me "Hey, um… Lady Suwako, I think you're weirding him out.." She says with an awkward smile on her face.
Suwako takes some steps back from me "Ok ok, maybe I got a little excited there.." Why? "Still, an Outsider hasn't shown up in ages! I actually get to meet one for once!" Wait, really?
I turn to Sanae with this lingering question in mind "Actually.. when was the last time an outsider showed up?" Because apparently I'm something strange or something.
As Suwako sits on the only side of the kotatsu available on my right, Sanae responds "Well, the last Outsider to come to Gensokyo was this girl that messed up a lot of stuff with fantasy and reality or something… and Reimu had to beat her up, I think" Oh..
Ok, point in timeline confirmed, Sumireko already did her stupid stuff, great. But…
"..And how long ago was that?" It can't have been a lot of time, right? Maybe there's actually more Touhou stuff yet to happen?
Sanae thinks for a moment "Around.. almost 10 years ago, think..?" Oh.
10 YEARS?! So I'm at the very, VERY end of the timeline then.. but there haven't been any outsiders since Sumireko? Really?! But like, maybe the idiots Yukari gap in don't count or something?
Also, I'm not sure if that's canon or not so I really start dreading to think what is this stupid abomination of a Gensokyo interpretation the author threw me in…
Suwako actually answers my question unprompted "You Outsiders haven't shown up in forever! This is actually a great event! " And I would LIKE if it WASN'T.
However, I start connecting some dots.. "So is that why all the youkai got so uppity when they saw me, I imagine. Right?"
"Yeah, pretty much…" Sanae, you're not giving a lot of confidence in my odds against the entire world right now "B-but don't worry, you'll be fine! You have this shrine's blessing to… do whatever it is you intend to do!" Great.
Kanako decides to stand up after a few seconds "Well, I have matters to attend to. It was… pleasing to speak to you, Aki" No, it fucking wasn't and you know it "You may reside here in the Moriya Shrine for some time, at least until you manage to find a place for yourself. Goodbye" She says as she walks out of the room. Uh, so what am I supposed to be doing again?
Kanako peeks around the corner "These matters include you, Suwako. Come with me"
The tiny goddess to my right seems disappointed for a second "Oh well.. See ya later Outsidey guy! Try not to die please!" She says as she runs out of the room. Sorry to disappoint Suwako, but I can only try, there's no guarantee.
…
So I'm just left here with Sanae. Absolutely no awkward silence moments here, nope, couldn't be me.
…
Ok, I actually think of a good excuse to say something "So.. I'm kinda beyond screwed, aren't I?" My cartoonishly bad luck doesn't know any bounds… Ok, actually, I take that back. I don't want ANYTHING to do with boundaries at the moment.
Sanae perks up at my comment as she was apparently distracted with something else "W-what? I assure you, you'll be fine! You don't have any youkai chasing you at the moment, no need to panic!" Yeah right..
"Remember that Aya just took a picture of us. My location is going to be known to all of Gensokyo in a couple of minutes, I think that's more than enough reason to panic" We seem to be forgetting a very important detail!
Sanae sighs, apparently defeated or something "Well… I-I'm sure you will figure out what to do! It's not impossible to talk to Reimu, you know?" Yeah, me and what social skills will do the talking?
I sigh a little bit too, there doesn't seem to be a lot I can do here except wait for the inevitable… I guess I should try and use the time I have at the moment.
I stand up from the kotatsu "Well, ignoring everything else, I guess I should be doing something. I kinda want to test the weird powers I have so, I'll go outside" Yeah, kinda want to know more about how this shit works.
Sanae stands up as well "Sure! I'll help you with that!" Doesn't she have better things to do? Well, I at least have someone to help me if I just fall off the fucking mountain like a moron.
(GENSOKYO MISADVENTURES, SHONEN TRAINING MONTAGE EDITION)
So we kinda just go outside, into my little ""testing grounds"". The shrine just has a big, um.. courtyard? Outside space? I don't know, just a big open area to one of the sides for some reason. I imagine whenever they party or there's a festival or something they must use this space, but right now it's empty.
Sanae asks me something "Hey.. so you actually have more powers other than the ones you used to escape the Youkai?" Well, I guess that's a valid question.
"Yeah, some other weird movement abilities that let me go fast. No flying though" Unfortunate, I know.
"And how do you use them?" Uh…
"I just.. think, and my body does the motion? Something like that" I don't think I can explain it exactly, it's something almost unconscious my body does when I just want to do a dash or something. It's really weird…
I guess it's time to relay the point "Well, I know I can do more stuff than what i've already done, just haven't tested them yet. So, test number 1!" Time to try this shit out.
First, dash jumping! So I think I just have to jump after a dash right? So I just dash forwards, jumping in the process-
*ZOOM* HOLY FUCK THAT'S SO FAST! I just went flying forward, holy shit! This is way too much speed fuck fuck fuck-
*THUNK* I eat dirt again. This is the fourth time, dammit!
So I look back to see how much distance I covered and… wow. I almost cleared the length of the entire shrine in one dash jump?! Damn, that was really fast… and really impractical now that I think about it.
Sanae quickly rushes over where I landed "Um, are you okay?! You went really fast!" Sanae doesn't look all that worried, more like.. excited about it. Great.
"To be honest I didn't expect so much speed.." I say as I stand up "This.. may have some uses though. You know, if I don't kill myself first" That could be a very real possibility!
"Oh come on, don't say that!" Sanae says "I think for a moment you went even faster than what I can fly! That's an accomplishment!" Ah, really now..
"Ok I guess…" If I could actually outrun touhous, that would be really nice, however, I would need to be able to maintain that speed.. so…!
"Alright It's time for test number 2!" I announce. Sanae moves to the side again, eagerly waiting for whatever the fuck I'm going to do now.
So, do you guys remember slide jumping? I actually did it in the first chapter and I got a good amount of speed out of that. What's special about slide jumping is that it preserves your momentum, even if you change directions completely. So, what if I chain it after a dash jump, to go in the opposite direction, for example? Or just keep going forward?
So, I think I'll first test a slide jump. I start to slide forward at a good amount of speed, then jump out of it!
It's actually a decent, more slightly controllable speed than a dash jump, so I can actually land safely on my legs. Which I notice doesn't hurt all that much… I kinda still suspect I have fall damage immunity, but I rather not find out right now!
Ok, now.. for momentum-transferal-thing. I first need to dash jump again, so I slide all the way to where I started so I have enough distance, Sanae following from the sides. I do this since I think like, 2 or maybe 3 dash jumps and I will just fly off the mountain..
"Alright, I'll try and change directions after landing by sliding, maybe I can do that" I should probably announce what hell I'm doing so Sanae doesn't think I'm a lunatic… yet.
Sanae comments on something "You know, that sounds a lot like…" Uhh.. "How you move in that one boomer shooter, ULTRAKILL?" What?! Does Sanae know ULTRAKILL? They actually have a computer AND internet here?!
Well.. "Huh, you're right, now that I think about it" Yeah, just move on and..
"How did you even get those powers in the first place? They seem… really weird and unnatural" What. How even.. what does that even mean? Your powers don't seem all that ""natural"" too, you know?
I guess it's time to play dumb "I don't know, It's just something I can naturally do, for some reason" I hope that's enough explanation.
"Bu-but like… nevermind" Sanae seems to give up in questioning me about it.. Good!
Time to proceed with the experiment now "Test number 3!" Don't know why I'm saying these but it doesn't matter!
*ZOOM* I do a dash jump! Holy shit, I'm still gonna mention how this speed is fucking incredible, things actually start to become blurry in the corner of my eye!
But now, I quickly turn myself around in the air, facing where I started. And when I land, I quickly start sliding on the ground, and… yes! My momentum, quite unrealistically, transferred through the slide so that now I'm sliding at the velocity of the dash jump, moving in the opposite direction!
But knowing ULTRAKILL, I'll probably lose all this speed in a couple frames or something, so instead, I jump out of the slide, keeping my momentum! Yes! This actually works! Holy shit, this is still too much speed to handle… but I guess I know I can do this now.
Now, for the landing… shit.
I failed to account for something. Sanae moved from the sides to where I started, to observe what I was doing or something. Which means I'm currently flying towards her at 200 kilometers an hour.
Well, this is awkwar-
*BONK* "uuAH!" I actually bump with Sanae and oh fuck that actually hurt. We both just tumble in ball like a fucking looney toons fight, travelling like, 2 meters before quickly coming to a halt. Dammit Sanae! You don't just put yourself on the collision course of a new hypersonic jet being tested!
I have to say, instead of bumping, I can maybe call it more like I fell on Sanae at a weird angle, probably hurting me more than her, considering she has cheater goddess powers or something.
Also, I quickly realize something, I fell on top of her, and lifting my head, I look at her directly to see her looking at me worriedly while blushing a bit. UMMMMMMMM
Yeah, yeah, nonononononono. I ain't having any of that! I quickly get up and throw myself to the side before anyone starts getting any funny ideas, that includes you, perverted reader that has read 445.559 words of smut fanfiction! Shame on you!
Ok, all of that aside, I think I emm… severely fucked up right now.
Kind of brushing off the pain, I worriedly say "I-I'm so fucking sorry Sanae, I d-didn't know you where in the way and.." Fuck, why did I have to fuck up like that?! Dammit!
Sanae lifts her torso up while shaking her head a little, then looks at me and…! "Hehehe…" She.. laughs?
"I-I've taken worst, don't worry!" She says, all smiley and everything. "Also, it was kinda my fault for getting in the way, really…" Uh… really?
"Umm, o-ok?" This is fucking surreal. This is definitely not how women work in real life and the author should know this. Yet they still did this, why?!
Sanae stands up "I was actually gonna ask if you were alright! That wasn't a light bump, you know?" Yeah, I kinda forgot about myself there. My body is currently hurting. It's not unbearable, but it's hurting all right.
"I-I think I'll be fine" No internal hemorrhages or broken ribs for me, that doesn't happen to self-inserts! Unless the plot demands they go to Eientei, which I don't think is the case for me right now!
…Wait.
I think I get it now… falling over a girl, then everything being alright, making jokes while understanding outsider-only things.. IS THIS AN ISEKAI ANIME STRUCTURED FIC?!
No, nonono, I REFUSE to be the average comedic isekai/highschool MC, I REFUSE. The plot CAN'T convince me to keep being in situations like this.
"What's with that face? You look… horrified?" Sanae says curiously and a bit worriedly. Yes, your assumption is correct.
"N-nothing really, just thought of something" Dreadful thoughts fill my mind, giving me visions of all the horrors that await every single one of us, the ones we can't seem to escape.
But I must escape this "You know, I think that's enough for today.." Speaking seriously, I think I know enough, I kinda just wanna chill for sometime. Also, I still have no idea what time it is, but I don't really care.
We start going the way back to the shrine "Well, you can do better movement IRL than I can while playing at least!" Did she just say IRL? Really?! Does Sanae actually know modern internet culture?
"I see.." I thought maybe she would be a super god gamer or something, but if that was apparently better than what she can do, then I'm kinda worried about her skill level…
So we just keep moving to enter the shrine, without really talking about anything. In fact, I don't know what the hell should I be doing, just sit in the kotatsu all day? Help with something? Do I maybe get a guest room?
I guess I could maybe ask some questions in the meantime "Doesn't your shrine get visitors?" I'm surprised I haven't seen any at this point, but then again, don't know exactly how fucking shinto shrines or whatever work, also I'm in damn Gensokyo of all places, things could be very different.
Sanae turns to look at me "Well, we don't get that many visitors really. They usually just come for events, since it's already a bit of a hassle to get here. Even with the Moriya Ropeway, people still refrain from visiting that often.." Ah, well. Maybe the residents of the shrine here get a bit lonely? "Ah.. sorry, I think you need some context for that.." Oh? Nah, I don't need it. Got the good ol' meta knowledge backing me up.
"Not actually, really. I understand what you mean" Yeah, look at me, I'm the super informed badass.
"Oh, ok.." She responds "Hmm.. now that I think about it, how do you know so much about Gensokyo? You seem to be… oddly familiar with it?" So she's actually curious about this..
"I just have my means" Yeah, manga and videogames are a reputable source on Gensokyo history, don't worry.
She just kinda stares at me! I think she may not be buying it.. "A-and by that, I mean Kanako told me!" I hope this is enough..
"Ah, I see.." She buys it! Yeah, please. I don't wanna have more meta discussions at the moment… Let's change the topic!
"So.. you actually got a computer?" She apparently has one, and I'm interested!
Sanae's eyes light up a bit "Oh, yes! I have one! Took a lot of work to get it here.." Ah, really?
"And what do you use it for?" Do you actually manage things with a computer or just play games all day?
Sanae looks nervous all of a sudden "Y-yeah! I play games sometimes and.. I- well like, manage…" Sanae, you're not sounding all that confident right now "S-shrine expenses..?"
Yeah, I'm not buying it "You just stay all night playing shooters or MMOs, right?" It seems really predictable at this point..
Sanae smiles a bit, looking defeated "How... i-is it THAT obvious?!" Oh believe me, it is.
"Takes one to know one, I guess" My 10.000 hours in TF2 speak for themselves as to my gaming habits, really.
She seems to not have anything to say to that, so I guess it's time for my next question.
"You know, I was wondering about how you even have internet here" How do you even get internet in Gensokyo? And one that connects to the outside world?
"Well.. it's a lot of technical stuff the kappa did after Lady Kanako got some deals with them, I really don't know a lot of the specifics…" Huh. Interesting, I guess.
…
Yeah, this conversation won't go anywhere I think.
In fact, since I have nothing to do, and nothing seems to be happening at the moment… It's time for a convenient scene break!
(CONVENIENT GENSOKYO MISADVENTURES)
Ok, so a lot of stuff happened, actually. And by that, I mean that Sanae spent all day rambling to me about World of Warcraft while I helped her with some chores, and honestly, I don't remember a single detail of it. I never liked MMOs!
We just got finished with dinner actually! I THANKFULLY know how to use chopsticks, even if haphazardly. So it wasn't all that difficult for me to eat some miso soup. It was actually really good!
After I got bombarded with questions by Suwako about the outside (which basically ended with the super original conclusion that the outside world is garbage, jeez, who could have known) Sanae showed me to a guest room so I can actually sleep! Boy, how I missed doing this, even if it is a futon, I just want to collapse. Almost this entire day has been shit.
So, like I said, I smash my head into the futon and die.
…
…
Another day starts. I'm tired. The world is dull.
…
That's what I would say if I was freakin' mister Aki Edgelord over here, which I'm fucking thankfull I'm not.
I actually get to wake up to live another day! Don't know how many more days I get to live here, but I have to take joy in the little things in life, you know?
[Quest completed: Survive your first day in Gensokyo]
[Reward: 2.500 AP IP]
Wow, that's actually a nice reward! However, it's not bringing me confidence that apparently living here is so difficult, I'm getting good rewards for just living…
So I guess it's time to wake up and do…stuff.
First of all, this guest room. It's not super interesting really, just a futon with a little nightstand at the side that has a lamp. There's also a little closet here, that when I come to inspect it.. It's just a lot of copies of Sanae's outfit, which probably won't fit me... which is a shame since I probably need some new clothes after everything that has happened.
This room actually has a little window as well. I look outside to notice the sun is very up, meaning I probably slept a lot more than I thought and have maybe missed breakfast…. Hey, you can't fault me for oversleeping after everything I went through!
So I guess I should get started in doing whatever it is I'm going to be doing today.
Stepping outside the room, into a little hall, I start noticing voices. Like, actually angry voices coming from farther away. Seems like someone is in a heated argument…? Who could that be out of anyone here?
I go to the main room near the exit, and keep hearing the voices. Peeking from the door inside the shrine to look outside, I see… oh no.
It's Reimu apparently having a discussion with Kanako. Oh no.
"It's my duty to find this youkai! You can't just let them reside here!"
"Whatever ""duty"" you seem to be trying complete doesn't just give you the right to come over here and meddle into our business like that"
"It's everyone's business when whoever you're harboring here is an actual danger to the people!"
"Hakurei, have you never thought that you may be wrong in your assumptions?"
Just as Reimu was apparently going to respond, she.. takes notice of me eavesdropping. Oh fuck..
She just shoves Kanako to the side and starts power walking towards me…! Oh fuck, emmm, Kanako?!
Kanako just looks at me and seemingly just sighs in annoyance. Fuck, I don't think I'm getting out of this easy enough…
Reimu just gives me a… to be honest, kinda creepy smile as she comes at me "Well, hello there mister! Would you mind coming with me?"
So… "U-umm, no…?" Now that I think about it, probably not the best response I could have given-
*SNATCH* Fuck! She just grabs me by my collar! "Too bad!" She just starts dragging me across the floor ow ow ow.
What can I do to get out of this?! "Reimu! I'm not a damn youkai, can't you just put me on trial or something?!" Does this place even have a justice system?!
"Nope" Reimu's response is clear. I'm fucking screwed…
However, maybe salvation comes! Kanako appears next to Reimu all of a sudden, please, do something…!
"Hakurei, you know that is incorrect, right?" She says… what?
Reimu just seems a bit annoyed "Ugh, what do you want now? You just have to overcomplicate things like always?"
The goddess seems confident though "Don't you remember village law? Even if danmaku is currently used to settle disputes, the village still has a justice system that grants people the right to a trial" It does?
Reimu seems confused for a second "But.. that hasn't been used in ages! There hasn't been a lot of criminal activity in the village recently…" Aha?
"It doesn't matter. The law is still in effect, as you have never taken the time to repeal it out of sheer laziness" Holy shit, I may have a chance.
Reimu just stays silent for a second "But h-he is a youkai! It doesn't matter, he's not a villager!" When will you realize I'm not a youkai?!
Kanako seems to have this in the bag, however "Where does it say that it applies to humans only? Obviously not taking into account he is very clearly an outsider you have neglected to even consider to be one out of sheer ineptitude" Wow, she seems to be getting more annoyed!
Reimu actually lets go of me, and I just fall to the ground like a dumbass "Ok, you want it like that?! Sure, I'll set up this ""trial"" for tomorrow then!" Ok, now Reimu seems to be really annoyed, and now she points her gohei at me! "And you better show up tomorrow!" Sure thing lady, I will not miss my court date…
She now points her gohei at Kanako "And if he doesn't show up, I'm beating you up!" She says as she just flies away. Great.
…
What just happened.
Kanako looks at me while I'm trying to get up "There. You seem to have gotten it easy for now. Keep in mind our opinions on the matter will probably not be accounted for" Yeah, great…
I just have to ask "Is… is she always like that when she doesn't get her way?"
"Pretty much" Kanako says as she walks into the shrine. So I kinda have a lot of things to do it seems.. I guess I have a trial for tomorrow or something. You may be asking what does that entail, and to be honest I have no fucking idea. I'm not a Gensokyan lawyer or something. Do lawyers even exist here?
Kanako just left me alone. I… don't know what exactly I should be doing now. Maybe take a walk?
You know what? Screw it. I'm gonna do just that.
So I just kinda begin walking towards one of the shrine's sides, going into the super big open space that's there for no reason. I kinda have to think about stuff…. Do I have a trial then? How could I go about proving my innocence? Is it even possible? Kanako said that only powerful beings like her can distinguish between youkai and humans, and it seems pretty obvious that Reimu isn't on that list…
Only help I think I could get here would be Kasen? She saw me and immediately knew I was an outsider, she can probably tell. But could I contact her to help me? Would she even bother? The answer to both of those questions seems to be no… dammit!
…
Oh fuck.
My thoughts are interrupted by a very… peculiar sound, one that I know very fucking well, and wasn't expecting to hear. A sound I wanted to avoid hearing for as long as possible, yet it had to happen on my second day here.
The sound of a gap opening.
I turn around and see the culprit. Miss plot-device herself, Yukari Yakumo. What the actual fuck are you doing here.
She's just standing there, looking at me with a little parasol on her right hand. I just stare at her, not wanting to speak first.
She takes a couple steps forwards, me instinctively taking a few steps backwards "Good morning, dear Outsider. How are you faring?"
What do I even… "As good as any outsider can be in my stupidly specific circumstance" I.. don't know exactly how I should be responding to her, honestly…
Yukari gives me a little apologetic look "Oh, where are my manners? My name is Yukari Yakumo, one of Gensokyo's sages.. but you know that already, don't you?" I gulp a little. "You seem to be all full of secrets! Interesting men are usually the mysterious type, you know?" What?
I think it's better to get to the point "What do you want?"
Yukari looks amused "Me? I just wanted to visit our newcomer! You have become the talk of town around here, I just had to visit our new celebrity!" Yeah, pretty sure that's it and you have no underlying motives whatsoever.
"Anything else?" If that's it, just leave already. I don't wanna sound too venomous or something, but the idea of just speaking to Yukari is already bad enough as it is. The less time I speak with her, the better.
"Ah… straight to the point? Well.." Yukari's parasol gets swallowed by a gap as she puts her 2 hands behind her.
"Your presence here is an… anomaly, to say the least. The balance of Gensokyo grows ever slightly weaker, all thanks to you" U-umm… "But don't worry! I can give you an easy way out! You will just have to do… a little favor for me" Her tone of voice sounded really… off in that last phrase, actually.
She continues, while walking around me "I can get everyone off your back, even that shrine maiden you fear so much.." Aha "Maybe even give you a very clear purpose, given how you clearly don't know what to do, yet you still keep going for some inexplicable reason you keep to yourself..." It's not any of your business, dammit! Also, YOU of all people don't have the right to blame me for keeping secrets, you fucker.
She stops right in front of me "So? What do you say?" She says with a little smile and a hand stretched forward for a handshake.
…
"No" I ain't having any of your shit.
Yukari's expression drops slightly "Oh? Why not?"
"You know why. It's almost like you are trying extremely hard to NOT give away the fact that doing anything with YOU, especially for an outsider like me, it's a REALLY bad idea" I have to admit, I don't know if I'm in the position to say no in the first place, and that slightly terrifies me.
But even then, I have to try "So.. yeah. Sorry, but I'm just not interested in whatever you're offering" Also, asking vague, undefined favors isn't how you usually do contracts or proposals, Yukari.
She just retracts her hand, still keeping that little smile on her face "Oh well, I guess it's your choice.." She says while facing away from me at the moment.
Her head turns so that I can barely see her eyes "However, are you sure you can do it? Can you survive, maybe even have a purpose, without my, or anyone's interference?" Can I, now..
…
I just fold my arms "Maybe, maybe not. Whatever I end up doing will be better than anything you have to offer, though" And that's going to be my definitive answer.
Yukari seems to be satisfied "Well, if that's your decision.." She gaps in her parasol again and holds it in her left hand "Then, we have nothing else to discuss" A big gap opens, and she starts walking towards it. YES, please leave already!
She looks at me one final time "Do try and stay alive. I really want to see how your story goes after this, and that shrine maiden will probably be worried sick if anything were to happen to you…" Shut up.
"Isn't this the part where you leave?" I'm getting tired of this…
She looks amused for a second "My my.. why so eager? Don't you enjoy the company of a young woman?" That entire sentence is factually wrong and you know it.
"Yeah, yeah sure" When will you just go away?! Do you never shut up?!
She laughs a little under her breath "Well, that's all. Toodles!" She says as she enters the gap, closing itself behind her as she leaves. FINALLY
Holy shit, dealing with annoying, mysterious characters is hard. She just really has to play the whole ""mysterious mastermind"" persona. How does she even have friends?! Because honestly, she just seems really unlikable.
[Quest completed: Have a "peaceful" talk with the Gap Manipulator]
[Reward: 3.500 AP IP]
Holy shit, an actual good reward?! Even the system acknowledges that Yukari is so fucking difficult to deal with, it grants a good reward just for talking with her. Great.
However, my thoughts are interrupted as I see Sanae running out of the shrine and coming up to me "Hey, haven't seen you all morning! Where have you been? It's lunch time already!" Really? Did I wake up that late?
So.. "Lots of things happened. I…I'll tell you the details in a second" Boy, do I have a story to tell…
Sanae looks a little worried "Is it about Reimu? Lady Kanako told me how she came over here and started messing things up" Yeah, about that…
"That, and other things" I don't think she has gap-manipulating hags in her list of possible things to happen to me. Well, she's really wrong.
She looks a bit confused but doesn't ask anything else. We just start moving to enter the shrine. I really want a break after everything that happened right now..
Oh. And it seems I will get one because chapter end, or something. 2 convenient time-skips in one chapter? How nice of the author!
[LVL 4 Ultrakill Fanboy, "Aki"]
Not a lot of progress in this chapter, really. Maybe some updated stuff, though.
[Abilities]
Ultrakill movement: Didn't turn out exactly like I wanted it to, but it ended up being slightly useful in the end. Let's me do a lot of crazy movement shit like very high jumps, sliding indefinitely, wall jumping up to 3 times, fast fall with a slam and dash in any direction with 3 dashes that have a slight cooldown each. Can combine these to do more insane movement tech that lets me go so fast is kinda uncontrollable, but could be useful situationally. Also, apparently fall damage immunity, but still not too sure if it exists yet.
[Inventory]
Compass: A regular compass I bought of the system because I forgot to ask Kasen for directions that one time like a dumbass
Also I have like, zero inventory space. Only thing I have are pockets!
[10.100 AP] [9.300 IP]
Damn, I'm actually getting rich! Should probably use these points for something.. also, I realize that I don't have any actual yen, so economically I'm still poor, dammit!
AUTHORS NOTE OR SOMETHING: Well, hello there. Very character dialogue heavy chapter or something, you could maybe say this was more of a test for me to write character dialogue really. I think it's decent enough, but tell me if it's cringe or something, because it probably is.
Got to see more of my character's non-character. It's really weird seeing in all those fics how the 2hus get interested in the lamest original characters, you know?
You got to see your favorite Gap Hag appear in this fic, because of course. It's a self insert fic, Yukari has to appear at some point. My mc just kinda told her to fuck off though (Yes, she was probably going to throw him to the dogs if he accepted whatever she was offering)
This chapter was really calm compared to the first one, but there's already setup for hijinks you'll see later. My guy just chillaxing in the Moriya Shrine can go to shit with his luck, it's actually kind of incredible.
See ya next time. Or something.