Author's Note: Short and sweet, but I should have another update Sunday night/Monday morning for you guys to chew on. Cross your fingers.
Jesus Christ was an Only Child
"At the request of the female population of Exeter Academy, I'm to ask you the following questions."
"Shoot."
"Did you really date Paris Hilton and does she come across as a vile, walking STD in person the same way she does on television?"
A chuckle. "The highly educated and Harvard groomed students of Exeter phrased that question in such a way?"
"I may have jazzed it up a bit."
"Oh, I see." He paused, "No, I didn't and yes – yes she does."
"It pains me to ask you this one," a sigh and a grumble, "why are you so sexy?"
"Genetics, and quite possibly, witchcraft."
"Last question: did you have any idea how disappointing it would be for your loving, little sister to find out about your new girlfriend from Ryan Seacrest? I mean, really Will. Seacrest."
Darcy smiled sheepishly and shifted the phone to his other ear. "In all fairness, I intended to tell you sooner, and since when do you watch E! News?"
"Since, I got a gossip whore for a roommate."
"Georgie!" he pretended to be shocked at her language and he could actually hear her smirking over the phone.
"What? Gossip's not a dirty word," was her sardonic reply. "And since when do you eat at the Ivy? You hate that place. I seem to remember you saying something to the affect of 'only pathetically desperate attention seekers go there'," she tried her best to be overly haughty.
"Caroline suggested it."
"Oh," she said. "Makes sense now."
That got a laugh.
"So, mister, give me the scoop about this new woman of your's. She seemed rather dishy on TV but then again the paparazzi only photographed you two from the side. What's her name? Where did you meet? Is it serious? Is she opposed to highly curious and overprotective sisters?" Georgiana lowered her voice an octave and said without an ounce of seriousness, "Has she ever killed a man?"
Fitzwilliam and Georgiana Darcy were a strange pair indeed; somehow they had managed to overcome the seven year age gap and the gender difference and got on quite nicely. From the moment she was born, Will was smitten with his baby sister. He remembered meeting her for the first time, very clearly; the doctors had allowed him and his grandparents to enter the delivery room and his mom gently coaxed him into holding the wriggling, pink thing they had dubbed 'Georgiana'.
Will took one look at her scrunched up face and bright eyes and knew right then and there he would protect her with his life.
Georgiana took one look at him and spat up.
From that day on the pair were closer than close despite being polar opposites of one another: Georgie was fearless and quirky – she would take a flying leap off of any high object at any given moment, and went through a stage where her bathing suit was the only article of clothing she would consent to wearing. She was outgoing with the added bonus of not giving a rat's ass what other people thought, carried an insane love of school (and black jellybeans), and was thoroughly convinced she would end up a mad scientist or a concert pianist or very possibly both.
Will was always just a bit guarded and just a bit quiet. Too shy to reveal himself around people he didn't know, he always envied Georgie for managing to get the Darcy wit and bypass the crippling Darcy social anxiety in the gene pool. He had a knack for making awful first impressions, found school to be an utter waste of his precious time, and until very recently was known for having his head screwed on perfectly straight. He'd wanted more than anything to be a chef and couldn't help seeing the Darcy Empire as a prison he'd never escape.
Darcy sunk low in his seat at the barrage of questions concerning Elizabeth. He had dreaded this very moment the second he scribbled his name on that contract; the moment he would have to lie to his sister. The one person in the world he never lied to.
"Her name's Elizabeth – er – Lizzie. We met through a friend over drinks. I'm bringing her to your recital so I think that answers the 'are we serious' question. She has an overprotective and highly curious sister of her own therefore I don't think she'll mind your particular brand of nosiness." He managed to get all of that out without letting the feeling he was a complete bastard compromise his words. "Honestly, Georgie, I think you'll like her."
"As long as she helps you get over Eva the Terrible, I don't care," Georgie told him matter-of-factly. "I'll even build a temple in which to worship her likeness."
He snorted. "Shouldn't you be off learning things? I know we don't pour all of that money into Exeter for nothing."
"Is this your way of hanging up with me? " She sighed, "Fine, fine. I'll go watch One Tree Hill and blow off my Calculus homework just like a normal seventeen year-old instead of talking to the brother I adore and never, see…"
"Don't be so dramatic," he told her playfully. "I'm gonna go pay a visit to mom and dad, so I'll call you later."
"Say 'hi' for me."
There was a time during the weeks and eventual months after his father's passing that Darcy made a habit of chatting with his parents; he enjoyed the quiet of the cemetery and frankly it was cheaper than spilling his insides to a therapist. He'd kept them up-to-date on everything ("I swear Georgie's got a boyfriend and she's not telling me", "I don't know if I can pull off this merger with Google and I don't want to let you down") and then his breakup with the aforementioned 'Eva the Terrible' happened. The visits stopped, and suddenly he preferred drowning his sorrows in a bottle of whatever was handy.
Sneakers crunched loudly over fallen leaves as he made his way down the winding path toward the secluded spot marked by a large oak tree.
Darcy sat down in between the two headstones, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Before I forget, Georgie says 'hello' and she's still being cryptic about the boyfriend situation. I'm looking into some academies on the west coast and maybe some sort of tracking implant; this growing up thing she's doing scares the Jesus out of me."
He sighed heavily. "She's doing great, though. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about me. I've really messed up this time…"
"Fitzwilliam? I thought I'd find you here."
At the sound of the voice, Darcy gritted his teeth and coolly glanced over his shoulder,
"Eva."
"You work here?!"
Lizzie sighed dejectedly. She was currently on hour two of an eight hour shift, her feet hurt, the bits of toast and sausage she managed to down for breakfast were currently doing cartwheels in her stomach and this was easily the twentieth customer of hers to have a copy of that goddamn US Weekly:
A New Love for L.A.'s Most Eligible Bachelor?
The cover image of a smiling Darcy with his arms wrapped around her waist had stitched itself to her brain. It had only been a little over a week since she had suffered through that dinner at the Ivy and yet she couldn't, for the life of her, remember seeing one paparazzo. But, the bastards had been lurking about – pages 34 of US and 19 of People had the spreads to prove it.
She smiled wanly. "Yes, I work here. Now, would you like to start off with an appetizer?"
"Spinach dip." A beat, "And you're dating that Fitzwilliam Darcy guy – the one who owns Darcy Broadcasting and all that?"
"Yes." Lizzie nodded. "Anything else I can get you this afternoon?"
"No, just the, spinach dip oh and no sour cream on that. You know, if I were you, I'd quit and take up a career in gold-digging."
"Why-oh-why don't I own a gun to bring into work?" Lizzie sarcastically lamented as she barged through the kitchen's double doors. "I could use a good killing spree right about now."
Charlotte laughed uncomfortably and gestured toward the young man at her side. "Lizzie, this Daniel our new trainee; Daniel, this is Lizzie, she'll be the one to show you the ropes."
He flashed Lizzie a devilishly handsome smile and extended his hand. "Daniel Wickham. Should I be afraid?" he asked teasingly.
"Lizzie Bennet," she grinned sheepishly as she shook his hand, "and no, once I've had my crazy pills I'm no longer a danger to society."
"Good to know," he chuckled.