You know what I love about storytelling? The ability to jump ahead in time all willy-nilly like – it's neat; I feel like I have some sort of superpower. It's an incredibly lame superpower when you put it side-by-side with 'faster than a speeding bullet' or 'ability to produce webbing', but it's mine.

I think I'm done rambling, now – on with this dog and pony show.

Pray for Plagues

(an interlude)

:video clip:

Billy Bush: Love is in the air tonight on Access Hollywood; from Katherine and Josh, to Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth, we've got the scoop on which Hollywood couples are tying the knot – coming up after the break.

:end video clip:

St. Brendan was impeccably decorated the results of thousands of hours of planning on the part of Los Angeles' most in demand wedding coordinator and Frannie Bennet (who could not be persuaded to keep her many ideas and overall self out of it). The musicians with their horns were setting up in the balcony where they would anxiously await the cue to echo one of the bride's favorite films and play "All You Need is Love"; the dove wranglers unloaded their cages with silent prayers the birds would stop shitting and pecking long enough to pull their job off without a hitch, the caterers put the finishing touches on the meal they were to serve to over two-hundred guests who would surely be starved for pate and an open bar, and the presently unhappy flower girl was in the middle of a getting stern talking to from her mother because chocolate cupcake frosting mysteriously smooshed itself into her pearl white dress (while her bemused older sister quietly thought it served cousin Darcy right for picking Daisy over her).

Amidst all of the chaos surrounding her, for her part Lizzie seemed eerily calm; holed up in her bridal room she watched images of her and Darcy flash across the TV screen while Access Hollywood did their patented starfucker commentary. Her strange mood could be attributed to the fact she had finally accepted her fate – this was her 'Last Supper', her 'Green Mile' and it was going to hurt a helluva lot, but the ends would justify the means.

The soft knock at the door indicated the high improbability it was her mother or any one of her heinous younger sisters, and Lizzie rose to answer the door without an ounce of reluctance.

"Hey," she smiled lazily at Charlotte and Jane.

Bug-eyed, the other two women wasted no time pushing their way inside. "Lizzie, you're not dressed!" Jane gasped.

Charlotte followed the eldest Bennet's lead, "Why aren't you dressed?!"

"I'm so glad to see you guys," Lizzie began, ignoring their question, "that chair is way heavy and I'd never be able to move it over to the window on my own. It's so dainty looking you wouldn't believe it's built like a boulder."

Exchanging a concerned look with Charlotte, Jane spoke slowly, "Lizzie, why would you need the chair by the window?"

Lizzie cut her eyes. "Well, the feng shui in this room is a little off…c'mon, Jane!" She threw her hands in the air.

"Oh no, no, no, kid…" Charlotte grabbed her shoulders, "you've got hundreds of people waiting out there and the threat of litigation hanging over your head, you're not running out!"

"He can sue me!" Lizzie spun on her heels heading for the sofa chair that had become her last hope of a Darcy-free existence.

"Would you stop for a second and think about this," Jane pleaded. "What about the baby! Are you really just going to throw away the kind of life Darcy is offering for your child?"

"I am thinking about the baby!" Feebly she tried to push the chair, but it refused to budge. "All the money in the world doesn't change the fact that Darcy is a violent, horrible man and this baby will be better off without him!"

Charlotte rolled her eyes. "Christ, not this again…"

"Not what, Charlotte?!" Lizzie snapped. "You were there, you saw what he did to Danny! As if getting his kicks by ruining the guy's life wasn't enough Darcy has to go and pick a fight and embarrass him in front of his coworkers." With an exhasperated grunt, she landed a well-placed kick to the chair's side. "Goddamn, is this thing cemented to the ground?!"

Jane sighed, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. "You haven't even gotten Darcy's side of the story."

"I don't need it; I had him pegged for an asshole the moment I told him I was pregnant and once again I wasn't wrong. Always trust a sober first impression."

"Still, don't you think you should at least talk to him about Danny?" Jane continued her attempt to be the voice of reason. "Like I've said, Lizzie, how much do you really know about Danny – outside of work and a trip to the OB you haven't spent a lot of time together. You've at least gotten to know Darcy…"

"I don't know him that well," Lizzie interjected.

"You've met his sister, his best friend, and his closest relative for god's sake! You've spent the night together more than once – you let dad get him drunk, you've spent all of this time with all of these people who certainly don't seem to think him the walking embodiment of evil, and you're letting the opinion of one man who's not exactly your b.f.f. shape the way you see him?! Jane shook her head. "You owe Darcy a chance to explain himself."

Charlotte snickered. "But, Janie that would require maturity and sanity."

"And, this is why I didn't make you Maid of Honor." Lizzie glared at her best friend. "I owe him nothing and this is no longer up for discussion; now are you guy's gonna help me or not?"

xx

"I'm an idiot!"

Cocking his head to light his cigarette, Richard grinned. "I'm not arguing." Patiently he waited for a comeback and when none came the bright smile slowly slipped off of his face and with great concern he turned to Bingley. "Wait, what's wrong with him?"

"Long story," Charlie shook his head.

"What dumbass thing did he say to Lizzie now?"

"I'm sure he said lots of transcript-worthy stupid shit to Lizzie, but it's more of a 'what did he do' and a 'what he didn't say'." Charlie sighed, "Really, Darcy this whole thing could be cleared up if you'd just tell her the truth."

Marlboro firmly planted between his lips, Richard glanced sideways at the two men. "Anyone care to clue me in?"

"I ran into Danny," Darcy said dejectedly.

"He works with Lizzie," Charlie supplied, "and it's more of a 'ran his fist into Danny'."

Richard beamed nearly leaping off of the bench. "Outstanding! You kicked his ass, right? Oh, please tell me you kicked his ass."

"Apparently, Danny's been feeding Lizzie a load of bull about Darce and all of the boogey man images came true the second he hit him."

"You didn't hear what he said," Darcy clenched his teeth. "I was extremely generous considering."

"What did he say?" Richard flicked the last of the cigarette's ashes into the grass and made sure there weren't priest or nun-like figures around when he tossed the butt into the church bushes.

"He's going to try to sleep with Lizzie."

"He hinted at it," Charlie corrected.

Richard chuckled. "I knew you were in love with her."

Darcy's head whipped around at that. "Goddammit, I am not!"

"That's fifty-six Hail Mary's for you."

"I like her," Darcy hesitantly admitted.

"Like a fat kid 'likes' cake," Richard said getting a laugh from Charlie.

"And, I think maybe she was starting to like me, too – or at least starting to tolerate me a little bit, and then there's Wickham standing there all smug and dropping these snide comments while blatantly checking her out and I snapped." A heavy sigh escaped his lips as Darcy ran his weary hands through his dark hair. "I should've kept my cool."

"No, you should've kicked his ass and told Lizzie why." Putting a comforting hand on his cousin's shoulder, Richard said, "Talk to her, you idiot."

"I can't; you don't know what it's like trying to talk to Lizzie, those eyes glaring at you – it's horrible. She wants nothing to do with me, hell she's probably climbing out of a window right now."

Climbing to their respective feet Charlie and Richard pulled a dejected Darcy to his; Richard took the time to brush any trace of ash off of his tux while Charlie straightened Darcy's tie. "If you can't say it to her face then find another way," Charlie told him.

"C'mon, cuz," Richard began throwing an arm around Darcy's shoulders, "let's get you married."

Author's Note: So, yes it's awfully short, but it's just a transition chapter and when we come back we'll be delving into their first two months of marriage.

See, I'm working this super power thing.

Review if you feel so inclined.