Chapter 2: The Treeble with Greebles

The door to the inn and tavern, the Purple Posy, burst open as Naga and Leodin both fought to get in first, struggling and shoving against each other as they squeezed in at the same time and fell to the floor.

"I won by a nose," Naga panted. "Now buy me dinner!"

"Like hell you did," Leodin grumbled and dusted himself off. "And I never agreed to it anyway. You're lucky I was tired."

"You both got in at the same time," said the bartender at the back, a scruffy little man with a grey beard. "Now order something, would ya?"

Leodin sighed as he went up to the bar. "Yeah, I'll get the roasted goose leg and an ale."

"And I'll get your filet mignon, a rack of pork ribs, the salad and soup of the day, double portions, and a bottle of your finest wine!" Naga declared. She smiled and glanced at Leodin, who gave her a deadpan expression. "What? I'm being frugal."

"Oh good lord," Leodin sighed as he went to get a table. "I guess if I was loaded, I'd splurge too."

"Hah, I'll have you know that as a sorceress I require a great deal of carbs to fuel my magic," Naga explained to the barely listening warrior. "You work hard, you eat hard, you drink hard."

"Well good for you." Leodin said as he leaned back in the cushioned chair. He looked around and examined the place. The tavern was nicer looking than most he had been in. The other patrons did not seem to be adventurers, looking more like traveling merchants with steadier income judging by the nicer clothes they wore. The food was a bit pricier as well, but he could afford a small meal.

Soon enough a waitress came by with their orders, a single plate for Leodin and several for Naga. The sorceress hummed with delight before she began to ravenously devour what could have fed at least three people.

"Whoa…" Leodin was not sure if he should have been disgusted or impressed by Naga's eating habits, and a part of him wished he could have had some of her food, but he got what he ordered and ate his roast chicken with equal gusto.

"Say, Leo, I was meaning to ask," Naga said between mouthfuls. "What's up with your axes? They're obviously magical."

"Huh? Well yeah, duh," Leodin replied. "They're made of special metals and powered up by the gems in the handles."

"I see, it looks like fire shamanism," Naga commented. "The magic shoots out from the lion mouths at the back to propel the axes, a rather ingenious design I must say. Where did you get them?"

"They were given to me." Leodin said flatly and sipped his ale. Naga watched him, waited, then coughed impatiently.

"Byyyyyy…..who?"

"That's none of your business." Leodin answered bluntly. Naga huffed and poured her wine into a glass.

"Oh you're no fun," Naga said and guzzled down her drink in seconds. "Loosen up, you might as well while you're here."

"I'm loose enough, thanks." Leodin replied. While he was not about to let his guard down, he could at least take a moment to enjoy some tasty chicken and a frothy mug.

The two downed their drinks, Naga finishing the whole bottle and looking a little flush. Leodin was still sober, if a bit groggy as they exited the tavern and headed for the inn portion of the establishment. They approached the front desk where a little old lady with thick spectacles greeted them.

"Hello there," She nodded. "Enjoy my husband's cooking?"

"Ooohohoho, it was delicious." Naga replied with a dopey smile.

"Yeah, the chicken was pretty tasty," Leodin said. "How much is a night's stay?"

"10 gold pieces." The innkeeper answered.

"Huh, that's a bit pricey…"

"Per room."

"I see…" Leodin checked his bag. He had the money, but that was nearly half his funds. "Well, I guess if we pooled our money…"

"Leo, can I borrow some gold?" Naga whispered. Leodin frowned.

"What?"

Naga blushed nervously. "I used up all my money on dinner…"

"Seriously?" Leodin whispered incredulously. "You've got nothing? How?"

"Well I usually have more than that, but I didn't get any treasure from that maze, and I was counting on that for lodging, so…"

"Well I've only got enough for one room," Leodin whispered back. "And I'm not gonna share a room, I barely know you or trust you, and on top of all that you're a gir-"

"You two are lucky," piped up the elderly innkeep. "We have one couples suite left. It's been a busy week."

Leodin gave the old woman a suspicious glance and swore he saw a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. He turned back to Naga and flinched when she gave him both the biggest puppy dog eyes and the smuggest little catty smile.

"You wouldn't leave me out in the cold all alone at night," Naga said sweetly as she leaned in. "Would you, dear?"

"I hate you," Leodin grumbled and turned to the desk, placing his coins on the table. "One…couples' suite…ma'am…"

"Just sign here." The innkeep slid a guest book over to him along with a quill and inkpot. Naga leaned over to see him scrawl Leodin in messy cursive handwriting.

"Don't you have a last name?" Naga asked. Leodin frowned and glared at her, thought for a moment, and then scribbled Hawkfield beside his name. "Ohoho, you just made that up." She took the quill and wrote Naga the Serpent on the line beneath his signature in perfectly elegant handwriting. Leodin scoffed at her.

"You expect anyone to believe that your name isn't made up?" He asked in disbelief. "Or is your last name really the Serpent?"

"Ohohoho, all names are made up my dear." Naga laughed with her hand over her face, giving him a grin.

"She's right," chimed the innkeeper. "We here at the Purple Posy don't ask too many questions, so use any pseudonym you like."

Leodin sighed in defeat as he took the keys and a lit candle from her and went up to their room. It was well furnished with cushioned chairs and intricately carved wooden tables, all varnished and shining in the warm glow of the flame.

He lit a lantern on the table with the candle to further illuminate their lodging. Naga entered behind him and stretched.

"Mmm, I am beat," She sighed and flopped down on the bed. The one, big, single bed. "What a long day it's been."

Leodin frowned and his shoulders sank, realizing he was probably sleeping on the sofa that night. "I'm gonna wash up first."

He set the candle and his axes down and unfastened his leather armor, pulling it off and laying it along with his belt on the table before slipping his long boots off and setting them down on the floor.

Naga looked over and saw Leodin left in all but his teal sleeveless shirt and pants, along with the white fang hanging around his neck. His muscles were not very big or bulky, but they looked very hard, toned, and lean from years of exercise. Nags could also not help but notice the several scars that crossed each arm, all the way from shoulders to wrists. She watched from the bed as he went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Inside, Leodin found to his surprise that the inn had plumbing and was grateful for his luck. He set about brushing his teeth and then shaving his upper lip, cheeks and chin with his small, personal razor. He splashed the cold water on his face and sighed as he looked in the mirror.

What am I doing… I'm back to square one, but now I'm traveling with this weird magical girl…do I really think I can even get to Grohl again? Am I kidding myself? What am I thinking…?

Leodin let out a long sigh and rubbed his temples, trying to make sense of recent events. This was not at all what he had imagined, and he felt even more lost than ever.

He was just letting the current take him, going with the flow at this point, to use a metaphor, and that flow just happened to include Naga. He did not know what else to do. Leodin was too tired to think…he would come up with a new plan tomorrow, a plan to get some more money and continue on with his hunt…

Leodin ran his fingers through his spikey hair and turned to exit the bathroom. "Alright, I'm done, your tur- BWAH!"

Leodin's face went red when he saw Naga with her bare back to him after she had just unfastened her top and was slipping it off. Her cape, pauldrons, gloves, and boots were strewn about the floor along with her longsword and the white wrappings that functioned like socks, leaving her covered only by her leather thong and the circlet around her head.

Naga looked back at Leodin and arched her eyebrow. "Hm? What's wrong?" Leodin quickly covered his blushing face and turned away.

"You're topless!" Leodin blurted.

"Yes, and?" Naga asked rather nonchalantly.

"And? And you're indecent!"

"Indecent?! Ohohoho! How dare you?!" Naga frowned angrily, but with a hint of playfulness to her tone. "My body is a beautiful work of art! Why should I feel ashamed of it, hmm? Indecent, the very nerve of you, I have never felt so insulted!"

"Oh my- that's not the point!" Leodin became increasingly flustered and frustrated. "You really are shameless…"

"Ohohohohoho! I have nothing to be ashamed of looking this majestic," Naga laughed and stood upon the bed. "My beauty could start a war between kingdoms. Most men would battle an army of demons to get a mere glimpse at the great Naga's naked form!"

"Yeah well most men are pigs!" Leodin shot back, turning to face her but keeping his eyes tightly shut. "And I'm better than that, thank you very much."

"Oh really? You haven't exactly been much of a gentleman towards me." Nags pouted, crossing her arms.

"I still have standards," Leodin crossed his own arms and fumed. "Look, just hurry up and use the bathroom already."

"Ohohoho, very well." Naga stepped 9ff the bed and sauntered past Leodin, sticking her tongue out at him. Even if he could not see it, he could definitely feel her taunting energy. "Your loss, silly boy…"

Leodin heard the bathroom door shut and he opened his eyes with a heavy, tired groan. He continued getting ready to sleep, all the while trying not to think about Naga's well-toned backside and long dark violet hair which cascaded down over it like a waterfall. Inside the bathroom, Naga washed her body down with a wet cloth, enjoying the feeling of the warm water on her skin.

"Ah, the wonders of modern plumbing…" Naga sighed. She smiled to herself as she thought of how easily Leo got worked up over such trivial matters like nudity. Oh, she certainly made the right choice with him. No slack-jawed gaping or sleazy flirting from him, and unlike a certain red-headed sorceress, he didn't blow her up with a fireball when he got annoyed. Naga was going to have lots of fun traveling together with Leodin. "Oooooohohohohoho!"

Leodin winced when he heard Naga laugh from within the bathroom. He was expecting the worst. She was going to snore, he just knew it. Maybe he could just ditch her in the middle of the night…no, then he would just be wasting his money after paying for their room…no, he was going to outlast her torture. If she thought he would break so easily, she had another thing coming.

The warrior picked out a pillow and blanket from the chest at the foot of the bed to sleep in, a nice, thick, soft one, before blowing out the lantern, leaving only the candle. He had to stop himself from glancing up as Naga exited the bathroom, fresh and clean and with a smirk on her face. Leodin took the blanket and laid down on the little sofa before covering himself up and turning on his side, his back facing the sorceress.

"You really don't want the bed?" Naga asked as she slid under the covers.

"No, the sofa is fine," Leodin answered. "I can sleep anywhere."

"I thought you said you wanted to keep an eye on me, so why is your back still turned?" She teased. Leodin was about to turn to her to protest, then stopped with a blush when he realized she was still topless. She giggled. "Ohoho, what a dilemma this must be for you. Will you be a gentleman, or will your distrust of me win out?"

"Just go to bed." Leodin grumbled. "It's been a long day." He blew out the candle, leaving the room in darkness save for the bit of moonlight shining through the curtains. There was a moment of silence as Leodin sighed and tried to settle in for sleep.

"….I am in bed…" Naga whispered into the darkness. "...ohoho, it's so very soft and comfy. I would completely understand if you wanted to climb in during the middle of the night and snuggle-"

"PLEASE. Go to sleep." Leodin growled and covered his ears with his pillow. Naga chuckled one last time before she too settled down, closing his eyes with a smirk on her face…

…he felt weightless…the blue sky hung above, but it gave no comfort…hurtling downward…he turned to see the crags…his breath left him…he shut his eyes, balled himself up, and waited…

"EEEEEEK!"

Leodin jolted off the sofa with a start. His head whipped this way and that.

"What's wrong?!" He shouted, but could not see anything in the dark. That's when he felt Naga jump onto him, her arms and legs wrapping around his upper body as she clung.

"I got up to use the bathroom and something scurried across the floor!" Naga shrieked. Leodin held Naga up and tried not to think about how little she was wearing, thankful it was too dark to see. He groaned and rolled his eyes.

"It's probably just a mouse," Leodin said with exasperation as he set Naga down on the sofa. He picked up an axe and willed it to glow. "I'll get rid of it for you."

"That was no mouse," Naga replied as she covered herself up with his blanket and picked her feet off the floor. "It sounded evil. It's still in the bathroom…"

"Uhg, just wait there," Leodin said as he moved towards the bathroom door. "Tch. Women…"

The warrior opened the door and shined the light of his axe inside. He scanned the floor around the sink and the washtub but found nothing. Likely whatever pest Naga had heard was already back in the hole it came from.

Then he heard a plop. Leodin turned to the toilet and saw a bit of water splash onto the floor. He frowned as he slowly walked closer, bracing himself for what he might find. Ever closer he drew, until he could peer over the edge of the bowl. There did not appear to be anything at first. Suddenly, a pair of eyes gleamed within, and water shot out.

"SKREEEEE!"

"WAAH!"

A small, ugly little creature with bug eyes, spindly arms and legs, and long pointed ears sprung out of the water and landed on Leodin's face. It began to bite and scratch at him, crawling up to his hair as the warrior tried to smack it away.

"What is this thing!?" Leodin shouted as he stumbled into the bedroom, trying to grab ahold of the little monster. He yelped when he felt it bite his ear. Leodin tried to grab it, but it scurried to his face to yank his nostrils up.

"Hold still!" Naga shouted. Leodin watched with shock as Naga swung her hand at it, smacking the creature hard along with Leodin's cheek.

"Ah! Ow!" Leodin grimaced. "You are…stronger than you look…" He looked down to the floor to see the wretched creature stunned and twitching by the door to the hall.

"Is it some kind of goblin?" Naga asked as she fastened the blanket around her chest.

"Too small. Maybe it's a gremlin." Leodin replied as he rubbed the red spot on his cheek. Suddenly, the door burst open, and two short figures wearing gas masks entered.

"Greeble!" One shouted as it pointed at the creature. The other figure pulled out a long nozzle attached to a leather bag with a hose and pump. They squeezed the pump and out of the nozzle poured a noxious green gas aimed at the creature. It let out a death croak and fell still. Leodin and Naga coughed and covered their faces.

"That's the third one in just as many nights," Said one of the masked figures. He removed the mask to reveal himself as the barkeep from the tavern downstairs. "I'm so sorry about that." The other figure removed her mask to show herself as the innkeeper.

"Yes, so sorry," She said apologetically. "We'll refund you, of course."

"Agnes, you know we can't afford any more refunds." The barkeep whispered to her.

"We can't afford any more unhappy customers either, Jethro, we're low enough," said Agnes. She turned to the guests. "We promise to make it up to you for disturbing your…" Agnes noticed Naga's state of undress. "...moment of intimacy."

"Hrk…!" Leodin blushed crimson as he glanced between her and Naga. He wanted to explain the situation but he was too flustered to get any words out.

"Ohohoho!" Naga laughed with amusement before Leodin could protest. "Yes, such a disturbance is most unbecoming. I was expecting better from such a fine establishment, and here I find it infested by…what did you call it? A greeble?"

"Yes, greeble," Jethro replied. "An unholy alchemic fusion of a goblin and a gremlin, shrunk down in size."

"These aren't your average pests you find naturally," Agnes continued. "These things are man-made, and serve a master. This one was probably trying to steal your money and make us look bad…"

"Who would want to do that?" Leodin asked with his arms crossed.

"A greedy, wicked man," Jethro said. "You're adventurers right? Would you be willing to help us? If you can solve our problem, we'll definitely give you that refund, and an all you can eat meal on the house."

Naga and Leodin's eyes lit up. They turned to each other and nodded.

"We'll do it," Naga said with determination. "What else can you tell us?"

"That can wait until morning," Agnes said as she boxed up the dead greeble. "We'll fill you in after you've had your rest. Hope your mood wasn't ruined too badly. Just go back to your fun."

"Now hang on-" Leodin was about to say before they shut the door. He sighed as Naga laughed.

"Ohohoho, you were so brave and chivalrous until the greeble pounced on you."

"It caught me off guard, that's all," Leodin grumbled as he got back onto the sofa. "Can I have my blanket back?" He watched Naga begin to unwrap the blanket, and he averted his eyes until she tossed it over to him, the blanket falling over his head. Leodin pulled it over his body and settled down once more.

"Oh, I was so frightened, I don't know if I can fall back asleep now," Naga said playfully. "I'd feel so much better if I had a brave warrior sleeping next to me."

"I think this is close enough," Leodin replied sternly, trying desperately to hide how flustered he was. "Goodnight."

"Good niiiiight…"

Morning finally came. Leodin had been restless. Naga had slept like a log. They took turns using the bathroom and Leodin let out a sigh of relief when Naga finally dressed herself, as much as she cared to anyway.

The two went downstairs to get some breakfast when they noticed an altercation between the innkeeper and a rather portly woman in garish makeup, an ornate dress and jewelry.

"That brooch was a wedding gift, and now it's missing!" The portly woman exclaimed. Agnes looked very apologetic. "I was going to pass it down to my sweet boy Jeffrey to give to his potential bride!"

"Oh, her of all people…" Naga whispered as she stayed behind the corner, painful memories coming back into her mind. Leodin raised an eyebrow.

"You know her?" He asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it…" Naga said sheepishly as she rubbed a spot on her head.

"I'm so sorry Ms. Josephine," Agnes bowed her head. "I assure you we're already looking into it, and we have the best men on the job."

"I should hope so! Hmph!" Josephine turned her nose up and exited the reception area, not noticing Naga and Leodin as they approached the desk. "I knew I should have stayed at the Golden Loom…"

The old woman sighed. "If they aren't terrified by the greebles, then those little monsters end up absconding with something valuable of theirs."

"You said something about a greedy man?" Leodin asked, and as if on cue the door to the inn opened. They all turned to look and saw a heavy set man with greasy, tanned skin and a wavy, golden combover enter. He was dressed in an opulent red robe with gold trim and wore what looked like several pounds of jewelry around his neck and fingers. He had a face like a bullfrog and beady little eyes to go with it.

The man was flanked by two tall, muscley looking goons wearing not so opulent but still rather expensive looking black tunics, with batons hanging from their waists.

"Well well, an unsatisfied customer?" The man asked with a throaty voice and a grin, showing off the diamonds in his teeth. "Can't be good for business. You know, my offer still stands."

"We'll never sell!" Jethro shouted as he rounded the corner and marched forward and pointed a finger. "We know it was you who sent the greebles, Pugmutr."

"That's close enough gramps." One of the Goons said as he lightly shoved Jethro back. Pugmutr clicked his tongue.

"What a terrible accusation. And here I am offering you a way out." He shrugged and turned to leave with his goons. "Be a real shame if you waited too long…the property value isn't getting any higher…"

Pugmutr chuckled as he walked back out the door. He gave Leodin a glance and leered at Naga but thought little of them, figuring they were two more unhappy guests. Jethro grumbled as Agnes patted his back.

"Let me guess, that's the guy?" Naga surmised and the old couple nodded.

"That's Pugmutr, a business tycoon trying to buy up all the prime real estate in town," said Agnes. "And he uses any dirty method he can get away with."

"He's been trying to muscle us out of business," Jerhro said with a bitter tone. "He's already run a few local shops out, and once he's got a monopoly he jacks up the prices."

"He's trying to do the same with his Golden Loom Inn," Agnes continued. "His food and service are terrible, but with all his money he can afford to sell at dirt cheap prices, at least as long as it takes until we're gone."

"That's awful," Leodin growled and gritted his teeth. "All that and sabotage?"

"Truly his kind is the worst," Naga said with a nod as she crossed her arms. "A vile, greedy man willing to step all over anyone and do any dirty trick for wealth and power. Come on, let's go after him!"

Naga grabbed Leodin's hand to his surprise. She dragged him out the front door as the old couple watched.

"Watch out for his security!" Jethro called out.

Naga and Leodin soon caught up to Pugmutr and his lackeys, keeping their distance as they tailed him. Now that it was day time, they got a better look at the town they were in. There was a sign that said "Welcome to Berylberg" and the place looked quite clean and modern. There were many tall buildings, trees dotted the sidewalks, and the streets were made of smooth brick and well maintained.

Pugmutr soon entered a horse drawn carriage with his security guards and took off at a brisk pace, too fast to keep up on foot.

"Damn, where's he going?" Leodin cursed as he ran to keep up with the carriage.

"Ray Wing!" Naga shouted as she took Leodin's hand. He gasped as she carried him upwards into the sky in a sphere of wind. Leodin flailed about and held onto Naga.

"A little warning next time?!" He asked irritably, his heart racing as he tried not to look directly downward.

"Sorry, I didn't think you were afraid of heights." Naga remarked.

"I'm not," Leodin huffed as he took hold of Naga's other hand and squeezed tight. "I just…don't want to fall."

"Ooooohohoho, be not afraid, brave warrior, Naga the Serpent shall not let you fall," Naga laughed and Leodin sighed. "Now, let's see if we can spot him!"

"Hmm…" Leodin scanned the streets until he spotted the glittering golden carriage that Pugmutr hopped into. "There he is, and I think he's headed towards…" Leodin raised an eyebrow.

"Where, where?" Naga asked as she looked around.

"Uh, the big golden mansion on the hill, with the big, golden statue…of…himself…?"

Naga glanced up at a hill on the edge of town, and sure enough there was a mansion just as Leodin described with a golden statue of Pugmutr standing atop the roof…only with his fat ugly face slapped onto a big muscular body.

"Ew, what an eyesore." Naga groaned with a frown. "Even I wouldn't go so far…"

"I hate this guy even more," Leodin replied. "Okay, let's see what we can see."

Naga flew them towards the mansion just as the carriage was passing through the golden gates flanked by more guards. The two were careful to avoid being spotted as they landed on the rooftop and crept close to a window.

They peered inside to see the main office, and on the desk was a wooden box covered with arcane symbols in white paint. Pugmutr and his two main goons entered the room. He sat at the desk and out of his sleeve he pulled a greeble, which held a silver brooch with a shining opal.

"Ya did good work, ya creepy little bugger," Pugmutr said to the greeble as he took the jewelry. "And ya brought daddy a present. Now, back in the box!"

Pugmutr quickly opened the box on the desk, and the greeble shrieked as he threw it in and slammed it shut.

"Geez they're ugly," Pugmutr shuddered. "Just one more night I have to use these things…"

"What'll you have them do next, sir?" Asked a goon.

"Something huge," Pugmutr said with a toady smirk. "I'm gonna have the greebles destroy their precious indoor plumbing, every last pipe will be spewing, heheheh…hahaha, AHAHAHA!"

As Pugmutr laughed maniacally, the two goons nervously chuckled along with him. Pugmutr suddenly stopped and glared, and the goons ceased their laughter.

"You know what to do," Pugmutr said as he stroked the box. "Tell the greebles to destroy the pipes…and use all of them this time. When this is over, I'll have the best location in town."

"So that's his plan," Naga whispered to Leodin. "We have to stop him before he can unleash the greebles."

"Yeah, we need to get that box," Leodin whispered back. "We'll need to wait for them to let their guard down, sneak in, and then- wait, what are you doing?"

"Ooooooohohohoho!" Leodin watched dumbfounded as Naga kicked open the balcony door and entered the premises.

"What the hell!?" Pugmutr shouted.

"So much for stealth…" Leodin sighed and entered in after Naga.

"We heard everything!" Naga exclaimed as she pointed a finger at Pugmutr, her other hand in her hip. His goons drew their batons and shielded their boss."Yes, we heard you admit all of your evil schemes. I'm not usually one to dispense justice, but I find your actions to be absolutely repugnant!"

"You two weirdos were at the Posy just now," Pugmutr sneered as he glared at them. "You working for the old folks? Fine, kill'em!"

The two thugs rushed at Naga. She was taken by surprise, still ready to give more of her speech and not to chant a spell. Luckily for her, Leodin stepped between them. The warrior deftly kicked one thug square in the balls and the other one he laid out with an uppercut. The two goons went down with painful groans, Leodin's fist raised in the air triumphantly.

"Heh, I didn't even need my weapons," Leodin said as he cracked his knuckles. "Now hand over the box."

"You want what's in the box?" Pugmutr asked as he clutched it. "Then go ahead! Kill that pretty boy, greebles!" The tycoon flipped the lid of the box open and pointed it at Leodin. Out of it sprang forth a flood of greebles, all shrieking and chattering as they swarmed Leodin. The warrior yelled out as he fought to shake them off.

"Damn it, not again! ARGH!" Leodin dropped and rolled on the floor to try and squash the creatures. Pugmutr grinned wickedly.

"Ohoho! Fool!" Naga shouted as she raised her hands. "You ignore me at your peril. Diem Wind!"

A gust of wind blew out from Naga's hands and whipped around the room. The greebles were blown clean off Leodin, but he was blown against the wall. Pugmutr was knocked backwards off his chair, and the greebles' box fell from his stubby fingers. As Leodin got up he saw his opportunity and ran for the box, snatching it up.

"Got it!" The warrior shouted. He winced as he felt a sharp pain on his ear and noticed a greeble gnawing on it. "Would you stop that!?"

The greeble immediately let go. Leodin and Naga watched as the swarm of creatures all gathered around Leodin, staring intently at him and waiting.

"It seems that they take orders from whoever holds their box…" Naga surmised. She gave Leodin a smirk, and after a moment, he smirked back. He looked down at Pugmutr, who gazed back at him with fear.

"Greebles!" Shouted Leodin, and the creatures stood at attention. "Tear down this gaudy, kitschy, gold plated dump!"

The swarm of greebles let out a collective shriek, almost as if they were cheering with joy, before scattering. Pugmutr watched in horror as the greebles began to wreck his office, then spread to the rest of the mansion.

The curtains were torn down, priceless vases were smashed, even small fires broke out around the premises as the greebles wreaked havoc. The security guards screamed and ran for their lives when the greebles attacked them.

"Nononono!" Pugmutr squealed in consternation as he watched the greebles deface a highly exaggerated portrait of him dressed as a big game hunter. "All my stuff! Please, I'll pay you anything if you tell them to stop! I'll give you a hundred gold pieces!"

"Whoa, a hundred?" Leodin blinked in surprise.

"We're not setting for chump change," Naga chimed in as she placed a hand on Leodin's shoulder and leaned on him. "Make us a better offer! I get more treasure raiding bandits."

"Two hundred! Three hundred!" There was a loud crash and bang from outside. They looked out the window to see the gold statue had been toppled over and was now being defecated upon by the greebles. "Gah! Five hundred!" Pugmutr was groveling at the feet. "Please, I'll have nothing if you don't stop them!"

"Promise to stop messing with the Purple Posy!" Leodin held the box high and pointed down at Pugmutr. "Stop trying to run everyone out of business!"

"Yes, I promise!"

"Return everything the greebles stole and, uh…" Leodin glanced around the office and picked up a jewel encrusted faberge egg. "And give us this fancy egg!"

"Sure, take the egg, take one thousand gold pieces! I promise I'll stop!" There was another loud bang, and the sounds of rushing water. "My toilet!" Pugmutr rushed down the hall to see a golden toilet ripped out from the floor and chucked down the stairs as a stream of water began to flow down. "Nooooo! My solid gold toilet!"

"Oooooohohoho! I think he's had enough," Naga said, hand on her hip as she watched Pugmutr writhe. "A thousand will do, I suppose."

"Okay. Greebles!" Leodin shouted, and the creatures all ceased their whimsy. "Back in the box!"

All the greebles in the mansion swarmed back towards Leodin and clambered back inside the small wooden box. One little greeble wearing a ring like a crown was the last one in before he shut it.

"Must be bigger on the inside," Naga commented. "Ohoho, alright Pugmutr, pay up or we set them loose again!"

Tears streamed from Pugmutr's piggy eyes as he went over to a safe. He unlocked it and pulled out a chest before handing it to Naga. The sorceress opened it as the businessman sobbed. She counted up a thousand pieces worth of gold, all in bars, along with several trinkets the greebles had stolen from guests at the Purple Posy.

"Ohohoho, a pleasure doing business with you," Naga said as her eyes glinted. She took the silver brooch from the desk and added it to the chest. "So, what do we do with the greebles?"

"I've got an idea," Leodin said as he patted the wooden box. "Something that'll give the old couple a little insurance in case Puggy here tries to back out…"

Leodin's mouth watered as the aroma of cooked meat wafted into the private dining room. A grin spread across Naga's face as an entire roasted boar and an assortment of other dishes were placed on the table in front of them. There were plates of oysters, avocados, smoked salmon, figs, beef briskets, sweet rolls, melons, salad, stew, and a bowl full of chocolate-covered strawberries among many other nutritious and decadent servings.

"Dig in," Jethro said with a warm smile. "You've earned it."

Without hesitation, Naga and Leodin began wolfing down the delicious food and downing the wine, ale, and mead presented to them. Leodin in particular was ravenously stuffing his face like a starving beast.

"I didn't realize you had such a big appetite," Naga said between bites. "What happened to all that self-control?"

"When the food is free? Who needs control?" Leodin replied before finishing his mug of mead. "Could I get a refill?" A greeble shoved a full mug over to him, which he took with a nod of thanks.

"You know, these things are actually kind of cute," Naga said as she patted the greeble's head. "When they're not trying to kill you."

"Yes, thanks to you, we not only don't need to worry about Pugmutr," Agnes said as she held the greeble box. "but now we have some extra staff to help around the inn and tavern."

"We might just make them our new mascots," Jethro laughed. "We'll just need to get our guests used to them. Who knows, we could attract some tourists."

The greebles were already hard at work tidying up the mess that Naga and Leodin were making in the midst of their feasting, replacing the empty trays with new ones. Leodin took a big bite out of a boar rib while Naga savoured the smoked salmon.

"This is quite an eclectic spread," Naga commented before downing some brandy. "And the spices...I detect hints of red ginseng, ginger, and…saffron?"

"Well whatever is in it, it's delicious," Leodin said as he raised his mug to the couple. "I'm already feeling energized!" He slowly drank his sweet, honey-rich mead. Jethro chuckled.

"Well, Agnes and I like to whip these dishes up for special occasions…" Jethro replied and drank some ale for himself, a blush spreading over his face. Anges leaned in towards Naga and Leodin with a mischievous smirk and a glint in her eyes.

"The ingredients here are natural aphrodisiacs," The old woman whispered. Leodin choked on his mead, the sweet beverage almost shooting from his nose. "We figured a healthy young couple like you might appreciate it."

Naga's eyes lit up. Her grin spread from ear to ear. "Ohohoho…..OHOHOHOHOHO!" The sorceress's laugh echoed through the tavern as Leodin cleared his throat and caught his breath, his face turning blue then red. He was absolutely mortified, and just didn't have the heart to argue with the kind yet dirty minded old couple.

Leodin kept on drinking and eating, hoping he would be too full and too drunk to let Naga keep him up that night.

The door to the couples' suite was flung open as Naga and Leodin stumbled in, both drunk and stuffed with food and leaning against each other. Naga was totally flushed as she made her way to the bed while Leodin struggled to get his armor off.

"Mmmiiiinnneee…" the sorceress mumbled before falling face first onto the big soft bed and beginning to snore.

"Nah, no, it's my turn, I don't want to sleep on the sofa again," Leodin muttered as he slipped his boots off and crawled over to the bed. He nudged Naga in the side, but she was already knocked out. "Ehhhh….screw it…."

Leodin climbed onto the spot opposite to Naga and got comfortable. He put his head on the pillow as he turned his back to her, resting on his side and falling asleep just as fast. A moment passed, and Naga rolled over to Leodin, draping her arm over the warrior as she spooned him, a little drunken smile on her face and a small trickle of drool falling out from her mouth and onto his hair.

"...oh…ohoho…hoho…ho…"

Author's Notes

This chapter I mostly just came up with right after I finished the first and was not part of my initial outline. That said, it actually came together fairly smoothly and quickly once I figured out what sort of adventure I'd want. I do think maybe some things could have used more fleshing out like the history of the town and the Purple Posy, Pugmutr, and the greebles, but I didn't want this chapter to go on too long either.

I think if this were a typical Lina and Naga adventure, it would probably involve two competing taverns and each sorceress would join up with a different one. I feel like there must already be a Special chapter about that.

I hope you picked up on the little bits of characterization I've been giving Leodin. I didn't want them too obvious, or too subtle. I'll be impressed if you can piece together more of his background, so leave a comment and let me know what you think.