The Backwoods High field trip to Salem started off just like any other
school outing. Matt Marinara and Jason Mustard were goofing around as
usual, snapping selfies in front of old buildings and making sarcastic
remarks about the Witch Museum. Meanwhile, Keith Lloyd kept his distance,
sneering at Matt and Jason while leaning coolly against an ancient
gravestone. Amanda Kelly and Priscilla explored the exhibits, fascinated
by the dark history of the Salem Witch Trials. Billy Murphy, however,
seemed to be on his own wavelength, muttering to himself about how much
more metal Salem would be if it were run by a cult of possessed bass
players.
As evening approached, Salem's streets buzzed with excitement for
Halloween. Costumed crowds gathered for the annual festivities, with
spooky decorations lining every corner. Just when the Backwoods High
group thought they were in for a night of harmless frights and treats,
the atmosphere shifted dramatically. Out of nowhere, a horde of teenagers
dressed as zombies stumbled into the festival. At first, it seemed like
an elaborate performance. But when one of the zombie teens knocked over a
hotdog stand and others began spraying green ketchup water from bizarre
bottles, things took a darker turn.
The zombie teens weren't just there to party—they were there to cause
chaos. They defaced street signs, kicked over trash cans, and shouted
eerie chants as they marched through the festivities. Matt and Jason
tried to avoid the chaos, but one of the zombie kids shoulder-checked
Jason, sending him sprawling. "Hey, watch it!" yelled Matt, trying to
help his friend up, only to have green ketchup splashed all over them.
Amanda and Priscilla weren't spared either. As Amanda swung her purse to
ward off a particularly aggressive zombie, Priscilla, always quick to
adapt, let out a string of goth insults that would make Edgar Allan Poe
blush. Keith Lloyd, meanwhile, was throwing punches left and right,
refusing to let a bunch of "knock-off Walking Dead extras" ruin his day.
Billy Murphy was in his element, screaming lyrics from his favorite death
metal songs to scare off the zombies, only for one of them to hiss back,
"Your taste in music sucks!"
Things looked bleak for the Backwoods High crew as the zombie teens
seemed relentless. But then, from the shadows of the nearby woods, a
familiar howl echoed through the air. Out came Derek Kunis and his Wolf
Pack! They were wild and untamed, covered in pine needles, each holding a
stockpile of pinecones coated in dog shit. Without hesitation, they began
pelting the zombie teens with the disgusting missiles. Derek, in a
dramatic move, hurled a pinecone directly at the zombie leader, hitting
him square in the face. The zombie leader stumbled, wiping off the mess,
and screamed, "You haven't seen the last of us! By sundown, the Wicked
Witch Queen Abigail of Salem will fuck you all up!"
As the zombie gang retreated into the night, the Backwoods High crew and
the Wolf Pack regrouped. "Holy shit! It's great to see you guys again!"
Amanda said, relieved. Derek grinned wolfishly, "You too! Looks like
we've got another shit bug to squash."
Matt, Jason, and Keith caught their breath, still processing what had
just happened. Billy, on the other hand, looked more alive than ever,
practically vibrating with excitement. Priscilla, after shaking the green
ketchup water off her jacket, offered a wicked grin. "We're gonna need
reinforcements," she declared, "I'll call my Satanic Goth Posse."
Derek nodded, "Good call. We're gonna need every ally we can get."
Priscilla took out her phone and began sending cryptic messages to her
goth friends. Meanwhile, Billy Murphy, clearly having a blast, whispered
with dark enthusiasm, "Time to reclaim my title… as the Satanic Demon
Lord Warrior." He cracked his knuckles, his face lit with a gleeful
menace.
The rest of the evening was spent preparing for what was being referred
to as "The Great Battle of Salem." Derek and the Wolf Pack mapped out the
streets, marking likely ambush points. Amanda rallied her friends,
reminding them of the chaos back in New Hampshire and how they handled
the Juggalos. Matt and Jason shared nervous glances, but both knew they
couldn't back down now.
As the clock ticked towards sundown, everyone in the Backwoods High group
and their allies from Arrow Head High understood one thing: something big
was coming, and they needed to be ready.
To be continued…
