Letter #5

GRANGER,

I decided to write this time, since Harry got hit repeatedly by a Confundus Charm the other day and is still recovering. Personally, I think he's just embarrassed about the last Memory Vial we shared, since it was rather… in your face. I haven't told him that I received your owl in which you let us know you aren't watching through all the Memory Vials, only because it's fun for me to watch him wonder what you must think of him after the last Vial we sent you. But I digress.

First off, I want to let you know Harry and I visited my mother a fortnight ago, and even though she still has difficulty looking Harry in the eye, she was tolerant and accommodating for the most part. She offered to show us a couple of short correspondences she had had with Animus Thorne after I had become a Death Eater. She gave them as a sort of gift for our project, so I'm including a copy of those along with this first Memory Vial. She said she obviously won't read our book, since it catalogues our sexual exploits as teenagers without much compromise, but I promised I'd try to get her an abridged version, if Ghost Writer can manage stitching something together a mother would read.

Second, I'm supposed to prepare you for what's in the upcoming Memory Vials. If our fifth year at Hogwarts was hell for Harry, then our sixth year was hell for me, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that. It's not just because of what You-Know-Who ordered me to do, but because of what I did to my relationship with Harry. I wish I could say we continued our trysts like a couple of lovesick hounds, but it isn't true.

Think what you want about how I treated him in these Memory Vials. I loved him the whole while, whether or not you or anybody else believes me. I languished without my friends to comfort me, but I languished even more without him. It was the loneliest I had ever been.

To this day, I regret not running to Harry on the Hogwarts Express and asking for his help. It would've prevented so much, including him getting involved with that red-haired hussy, but I simply couldn't tell him. I felt too proud to ask him or Snape for help after receiving my instructions from the Dark Lord. And I was also still too angry with Harry for my father's sake, and somehow thought I was protecting everyone, including myself, by taking on the burden alone. My mother tried to talk me out of doing the deed, obviously, to allow Snape to do it instead. But I had eyes only for her and Harry—saving them—and I wanted to redeem my father's name by proving myself to be a great wizard to the Dark Lord.

Granger, Harry told me you didn't suspect me at all while I was figuring out how to kill Dumbledore and repair the Vanishing Cabinet. I wish I could say it pointed to something good in your heart, but I rather think it proves how well Harry knew me in comparison. After all the time we had spent together during our fifth year—not just having sex, even though that was mainly what we had been after—we couldn't not know each other on an intimate level.

During our fifth year, we'd talked a lot and gotten to know each other: the good, the bad, the quirky, and all the ugly parts we would have preferred not to share. And after seeing who I am—in listening to me wax poetic about the usefulness of Dark Magic, my love for my family and friends, etcetera—Harry had gained a certain instinct when it came to my behavior.

The only thing he couldn't understand was my complete avoidance of him when our sixth year began. You saw how he acted. Not having access to me threw him off balance, and I honestly think that's why he rebounded into Ginny so wholeheartedly. It couldn't have possibly been that she was good for him, not after Harry had experienced what I was like. He'd tell you otherwise, but I'm bloody well sure he was rebounding when he started dating her.

His passion for me never died, as you'll see, even when he was with her. And honestly, how could it? I was, and still am, a far better lover to him than anyone. He's my sole reason for existing, and I'll never let someone express a superior love towards him than me if I can help it.

I love him. Harry Potter is my world. (Slughorn's warning about obsessive love be damned.) And I'll use the Killing Curse on anyone who tries to take him from me, especially that Weaselette.

Before I sign off, Harry wants me to remind you about how the house-elves weren't invited to Dumbledore's funeral all those years ago. Since there's an entire Ministry department centered around S.P.E.W. now, thanks to you, and there's not a house-elf in the world who doesn't know your name, we were thinking they might like an invite to your wedding. At the very least, the house-elves who have had the ancient Servitum Sanguis Hex removed from their blood might like to go. If this wedding is going to be as big as Harry says it's looking, there'll be plenty of room for them to come and go as they please. I imagine they'd appreciate being guests for once, and, yes, Granger, I do actually mean that.

Forever Harry's,

Draco Malfoy

A/N: The idea for a Servitum Sanguis Hex came from listening to all ten hours of Lily Simpson's aptly named video essay on Harry Potter, A Brief Look at Harry Potter, among other video essays addressing similar problems and insights about the Wizarding World.

"Good writers borrow; great writers steal." – T.S. Eliot

(But an ethical thief never plagiarizes…)