Monster Cash
POV. Third person
Chris begins to narrate, "Last season on Total Drama Island. Izzy and Geoff had a chaotic and very strange battle for the hundred thousand dollars. Geoff prevailed over all of the island's attempts to kill him, hahahahaha, thus winning the competition. But then gave it all up for the chance to win one million big ones. With the million smackeroos stuffed into a briefcase, our twenty-two campers set off on The Race for the Case. Izzy was the first to find it, causing all the campers to jump on top of her. Which was a mistake as this caused a shark to eat the briefcase. I bet you they didn't see that one coming hahahaha, now the 16 who were the closest to winning have been given the chance to win another million dollars... since the first one was "devoured by a shark", which means that that money was lost forever. They've been instructed to report to an old film lot for a whole new set of challenges. Forty-two days, sixteen cast mates, one heck of a lot of cash, welcome to TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION!"
-0-
POV. Cody
I got off the beat-up bus along with everyone else. I look at the abandoned movie lot behind us. Chris said it closed because of the animatronic monster, but that was just to get them all in mood. I wonder why it really closed. During the two-day break, I went home and left last season's money there, I don't need it right now. My parents weren't there, as they went on a cruise while I was on the island.
"Maybe we got off at the wrong stop," Gwen said, looking around.
"Dirty, old and about to collapse...", I said as I looked beyond the door, "I smell Chris all over," I said humorously.
"Really?" asked Izzy, she and Owen tried to sniff the air.
"It smells like a sewer to me," Owen said.
"So, Chris was definitely here," Heather said.
"Well, I don't mind putting up with Chris again if it means making a million bucks," Beth said.
"Beth, you got your braces off," Trent said as she smiled, "nice."
"Hot as ever," Justin said, as he looked at his reflection in Beth's teeth, I wonder if you can be more narcissistic than that.
LeShawna pulled him aside, "You look fi-i-ine, girl."
"You really do," Gwen told him.
"You are totally on your way to looking the part of my new BFF, that's my new best French friend, I am so moving to France when I win," Lindsay told her.
" My mom said my world would totally open up when I got my braces off, she was right, I'm going to France," the farmer said excitedly. They wouldn't be so upset if they knew that they were both be arrested there, whose idea was it to leave these two alone in a foreign country?
Heather rolled her eyes at their joint scandal.
*Beep, beep*
Chris arrived at that moment with his tour cart.
"Dude, it's about time," Duncan complained.
" Hop-on, everyone! Come on, people! Sheesh, we haven't got all day! This cart's rented by the hour," maybe if you weren't late on purpose.
Well, it's time for the first change of the season, "wow," Izzy was surprised when I lifted her bridal style. It's a good thing she's not Sierra, that girl was heavy.
"Do you really think I didn't realize you were falling behind on purpose?" I asked mockingly as I climbed into the cart and we sat near Owen, I have to take my victories over her whenever I can.
"Owwww, I was going to make someone use my new name," she pouted.
"I still think yours is better... Isabella~," I said cheekily.
She gasped when she heard her name and hit me on the arm, "stop doing that," she complained with a red face, I just laughed.
"What!? Izzy's real name is Isabella!?" asked Owen incredulously. Are you telling me he didn't know that?
"Wow, I had no idea...", Lindsay said with total disbelief too, you, I forgive, Linds, names are not your forte after all... And because you're a sweetheart.
"That was kind of obvious, Izzy is just shorthand, you really didn't know?" asked Courtney rolling her eyes.
"Yes... totally obvious," Trent said as Justin and Geoff nodded nervously.
Courtney slapped her forehead; did no one really know Izzy's real name? Wow.
"If you're done with your boring chat, I'd like everyone to pay attention to me again, thank you," Chris said sulkily, then reverted to his default attitude, "Welcome to the set of Total… Drama… Action… This season's hottest reality show will be shot here, on an abandoned film lot," he said, pointing to a camera.
Lindsay gasped with excitement, "Does this mean we're going to be in the movies?"
" No, it means you're gonna be on TV, and don't interrupt me, ever," Chris said as he tapped her nose.
"Oops, sorry."
...
Now we were touring the Wild West set. I was really excited to participate this season. The first time I really lamented I wasn't here when I knew the challenges would be based on movie genres, I'm a geek first and foremost, and this is one of the things that fascinates us the most.
" You'll be spending the next six weeks here, competing against each other in challenges, and for rewards. All for the chance to win some monster cash," Chris said.
Keyword of the day.
"Yeah, baby, I'm gonna win me some moolah," Owen said.
"Shush," Chris silenced him, why was he so irritated? It was the same the first time around, "like last season, one team will win, and one team will watch one of their own make their way down the dreaded Walk of Shame to the Lame-o-sine," Chris pressed a button and the glass of his cart went up.
He pulled us up to a broken-down, obsolete limousine that was spewing a lot of smoke from its exhaust pipe.
We all coughed from the smoke, "Couldn't you have spun for a better ride?" asked Trent.
Chris under the windows, "no, now, since we don't have the outhouse to dump your deepest darkest secrets in", which I will continue to reserve for myself thank you very much, Geoff and Bridgette were kissing as expected, "you'll ditch the dirt in our new makeup confessional", he ended as we passed by said confessional.
Confessional.
Lindsay
"Oh my gosh. A whole trailer full of makeup?!" a hand appeared with a lipstick, "oh sorry, I don't use that brand," she declined.
Cody and Izzy
"This place is amazing, and very spacious," Cody said, looking around, "but... Why did you ask me to come in with you?" he asked his girlfriend who was putting on lipstick.
"To be able to do this," she grabbed him by the cheeks and began to kiss him passionately, very much in the style of Geoff and Bridgette, putting on quite a show for the camera.
End of confessional.
...
After making the first confessions and wiping the lipstick off my mouth, Chris brought us to the dining room, "to your left is the Craft Services Tent, catered by Chef."
*Uproar*
Chef left the store chasing a raccoon, Lindsay tried to take a picture, but almost fell over when Chris got moving.
"If you survive Chef, you'll have to make it through our dramatic awards ceremony. Where all but one loser will receive a Gilded Chris Award," even though the whole place was clearly a monument to Chris, seeing the awards stage in person was incredible.
Confessional.
Gwen
"That Gilded Chris? Ha, what a narcissist… Don't get me wrong, I still want one."
End of confessional.
"We done now, dude?" asked Geoff.
"I have an eject button and I'll use it," the host threatened.
"Please continue," Geoff said undeterred.
We went through the space set, it was the last one before facing the monster. Harold looked around in impression, "Whoa. Cool, is this a dream?"
"No, Harold! It is not! But you may soon wish it was. A few months ago, this lot was home to a high-budget monster movie, until the star began experiencing some… ah, uh, difficulties?"
Lindsay gasped, "Oh no. Did she have like, a mental breakdown?"
"Actually, the star wasn't a 'her'… It was an animatronic monster!", we all saw the parts of the set that had bite marks.
"What happened to it?" asked Gwen.
Confessional.
Gwen
She sighed, "In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have asked that question."
End of confessional.
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!", we all heard a loud roar that made the surroundings tremble.
"Come on, dudes. He's yanking our chains," Duncan said.
"Let me remind you that Chris's jokes are life-threatening," Courtney rebutted.
Robotic sounds were heard and a scaly tail toppled a steel tower in front of us. Chris slammed the cart on the brakes, narrowly preventing us from crashing. We were all a little shaken.
"Since we're on a film lot, this season's challenges will be based on movie genres. Today's genre?"
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
"Monster movies hahahahahaha," Chris laughed at us.
The giant monster walked past us, DJ started babbling and then passed out.
Chris stung him with a stick, "down for the count; for your first challenge, everyone must get from here to the cast trailers while our state-of-the-art monster prevents your every move hahahahahaha, Chef has kindly offered to control the beast. Aaaaaand… Action!" said Chris.
I smiled, grabbed Izzy and Owen's hands and got them out of the cart, "come on guys, everyone knows you can only run away in monster movies," I told everyone.
Confessional.
Harold
"Stupid!" he said, slapping his forehead, "as I forgot the basic rule of every monster movie."
Heather
"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm so glad to have a geek around for this season."
End of confessional.
"Hahahahaha, everyone follow the geek!" yelled Izzy as she ran beside me.
I could hear Chris behind, "Well, what are the rest of you waiting for? The nerd got it right away."
The others began to make a fuss to get out of the cart.
"What's the plan, love?" asked Izzy curiously.
"If the monster catches up with us, we give away Owen", that sounds bad without context I know.
"I like the sound of that," she enthused.
"Haha, yes... Hold on... I'm Owen."
-0-
POV. Third person
Everyone was running around in terror, Chris never told them where the trailers were on purpose, so in addition to escaping the monster, they had to look for them blindly.
"Mmm~", of course this was not what was going through the mind of a certain couple who were currently making out on the blanket of a fake beach.
Gwen and Trent walked past them, "How are we supposed to find the actor's trailers anyway?"
Justin showed up, "Follow the good-looking people," he said.
"Yeah, follow Justin," Beth said as she followed the model.
Duncan also walked past the couple on the beach, "I don't think this is the kind of action Chris had in mind."
Confessional.
Bridgette
"What was I thinking? Duncan is so right. I like Geoff, but hello, I also like a million bucks."
Geoff
"Despite winning last season, I didn't get any awards, maybe I should be more focused on the competition."
Geoff and Bridgette
They were both kissing as usual. They even fell to the ground like that.
End of confessional.
*Footstep*
The monster stopped beside them and grabbed them both. He then moved them to a bouncy castle. All without ever stopping kissing.
...
Gwen, Trent and Duncan were running together, "This challenge isn't so bad, what? no explosions? No burning buildings? No bears?"
"Hahahaha, maybe it's not in the budget," Trent said.
Just then a house exploded, another caught fire, and an angry, singed bear came out of the house.
"AHHHHHHH!"
...
Chris was watching this from the camera room with the chef, "hahahaha, I thought the bear was tranquilized and returned to its handler."
"He had one day left on his contract," Chef said.
"Nice."
...
LeShawna passed by the beach, Harold hid in an umbrella, "come on, string bean, I hope you can run, we've got a challenge to win."
"If I wanted to, I could run as fast as a prong-horned antelope, it's the fastest land mammal after the cheetah."
"GRRRRRRRRR", the roar of the monster pushed them backwards burying them in the sand. Then he took them in his hand and led them to the bouncy castle.
"Easy now! This booty is breakable," the Big Sister said. The monster let them loose in the castle.
"I love you!" cried Harold.
"Say what now?" she asked.
...
Gwen and Trent were going straight for the monster, so they turned around, Justin walked past them, but went straight for the monster.
He lifted it in his palm and looked at it with his big eye.
...
In the control room, Chris saw the chef do the same.
"What can I say? Kid's hot."
...
Confessional.
Justin
"Last season I was the first to be sent off by my team. A filthy camp is no place for a face like this," he said smiling at the camera, "But here? Please, I'm in my element. The biggest threat will definitely be Cody, as far as I know, the guy is a geek, everyone knows that watching movies is the only thing they do, or so I thought, until Izzy completely ignored me for him, something unheard of, even if she's his girlfriend, I mean, what can 'love' do against this?" he said taking off his shirt.
*Boom*
Someone backstage fainted, "this season I'm here to win, rest assured."
End of confessional.
The monster left Justin carefully inside the bouncy castle. He noticed that everyone was looking at him.
"What are you all staring at?"
"You."
"Oh, right."
...
Heather ran as the monster growled behind her, at some point it caught her, "no one will care if you eat her," Beth commented. But this was a mistake as the monster saw her and picked her up as well. Heather was rolling her eyes, Beth sighed, "I admit it wasn't my brightest idea", the monster let them out in the castle, "hello Justin~".
...
DJ, Gwen, and Trent were running away from the monster, but it was hot on their heels.
Trent looked around, "Everyone, follow me."
Confessional.
Gwen
"That's what makes Trent such a great boyfriend. He's always thinking of others. It's one of the things I love about him."
End of confessional.
DJ didn't move for a moment, but Trent took him by the hand and pulled him with them toward a house. But when they walked in, there was nothing, it was just part of the set, "You mean, everything around here is fake?"
Confessional.
Gwen
"That and Trent's exceptional powers of observation."
End of confessional.
"GRRRRRRRRR!"
"AHHHHHH!" the monster caught the three of them.
-0-
POV. Cody
When the monster took DJ, Gwen and Trent. Duncan, Courtney, Owen, Lindsay, Izzy and I peek out from behind a car. Izzy's head was under Lindsay's breasts, I couldn't help but stare at the sight.
Confessional.
Courtney
"How did the six of us fit behind that cardboard car? And whoever tells me it was because of the magic of cinema, I'm going to hurt a lot!" she said, pointing to the camera.
...
In the control room, Chris was about to press a loudspeaker button, but wisely moved his finger away from the button.
End of confessional.
A hand grabbed my chin and directed my gaze to Courtney's unimpressed face, "Alright Romeo, do you have any crazy plans in store for this?" she asked.
Confessional.
Duncan
"Courtney has me with her, and she'd rather ask the nerd for help? I understand he's pretty clever and stuff, but he's not the only one who has great ideas, did everyone forget that it was thanks to me that Geoff got the prize?" he asked arrogantly.
End of confessional.
Everyone looked at me waiting for my grand master plan. In the meantime I looked forward. To the face of the huge monster that somehow leaned in front of us without us hearing it, "just one," I said.
The others followed my gaze, Duncan and Courtney swallowed, Owen froze, and Lindsay hugged Izzy's head.
"GRRRRRRRRR!"
The monster roared in our faces, I'm sorry, but the bear in my dream was scarier, "All behind Owen!" I yelled, we got behind the big guy.
"What? No! I don't want to be monster food!" shouted Owen as the monster took him.
Confessional.
Courtney
"I feel a little bad for using Owen as a sacrifice... but he's better than me."
Izzy
"That was very cruel," Izzy said with a frown, but then smiled blushing a little, "I think I like the cruel Cody."
End of confessional.
"I understand that Owen is a more desirable dish, but that's it?" asked Duncan. I raised my hand at the universal sign of waiting.
"I'm too young to be eaten!" cried Owen. He didn't realize that the monster was having trouble lifting him.
...
POV. Third person
Chef tried to raise his arm without success, "come on, come on."
*Spark, Spark*
Chef's mocap suit short-circuited.
...
POV. Cody
The five of us watched as the monster short-circuited and spewed smoke. Then he opened his hand, freeing Owen, and stood completely still.
"Yes!", we celebrate the five.
Confessional.
Duncan
"Pff, that was just luck."
End of confessional.
"Ahhh, ahhhh, ahhh!" Owen kept screaming even on the floor.
"Owen/ Big O," the three girls came over and hugged him.
"You did it, you saved us," Lindsay said cheerfully.
"Did I? Hahaha I did it, I'm amazing!" he said changing his mood.
Duncan and I approached, "How did you know it would work?" asked Courtney. Izzy approached me in a hug as well.
"Do you have any idea how much Owen weighs?"
Confessional.
Owen
"It feels good to be appreciated for my weight... Even though they used me as a sacrifice first... But then they appreciated me," he enthused.
End of confessional.
"What's next?" asked Lindsay.
"Now that the monster is disabled," I said, giving him a sideways glance in case he moves, "we can go to the trailers without any problems."
"What are they...?" asked Duncan.
I scratched the back of my head, "I have no idea", it's not a lie, I was never out of the Aftermath studio last time and seeing it on TV doesn't give you a clear picture because of all the cuts in the editing.
Courtney looked around, "How about in that direction?" she said pointing in a random direction.
The five of us exchanged a look, "over here then," Duncan said as we walked in the opposite direction.
"Hey!"
Confessional.
Courtney
She was sitting idly by and angry, "that was very rude."
End of confessional.
-0-
POV. Third person
While Cody's group searched for the trailers, the others suffered agonizing torture, worse than death itself.
"And that's why you shouldn't mistake the platypus for a bird, it's a mammal, even if it's capable of laying eggs. By the way, did you know that males have a poisonous spur on their hind legs? Blah, blah, blah, blah," everyone was on the verge of sleep or madness, either was valid here. Harold hadn't stopped talking for a long time.
Confessional.
Harold
"None of my disciples managed to qualify for this season. If I had told them about the raging moose, they probably would have been able to handle their situation better... So I'll make sure to fill the others with as much information as I can... Who knows, maybe that way it will attract new disciples."
End of confessional.
"What good does it do me to know this?" Trent asked no one in particular.
"Yes, honestly, Cody said more interesting things when he rambled," Geoff said. Bridgette, Gwen, and LeShawna had fallen asleep.
"Let's make a pact, kill him and say Heather did it," the guitarist said desperately.
"Sure, why not?"
Heather looked at them annoyed, but didn't say anything, it's not like she wasn't about to do it herself.
Chef passed by the campers, short-circuiting.
...
After another ten minutes, Trent, Geoff, and Heather herself were about to pounce on the unsuspecting Harold.
"We found them!" until they heard Izzy's voice. She jumped into the mesh of the bouncy castle like a psychopathic bat, "I've already found them~," she sang as she looked at them all, waking up those who were asleep and scaring them.
The others were coming after her, "Wow, they took their time," Gwen complained, keeping herself awake at night.
"We had to stop several times because of Owen," the delinquent said as he pointed to the huge, sweaty boy behind him.
"I... No... I've done... enough... exercise," he said between gasps, then collapsed to the ground.
Cody pulled a needle out of his pocket and poked the bouncy castle. Trent slapped his forehead, "Why didn't we do that?"
"Lindsay!" Beth ran to hug her friend.
"Thank god they came!" said a desperate Heather as she hugged a smiling Izzy, Harold was worse than degrading herself for thanking someone in her book.
Confessional.
Cody
"What happened to them while we weren't there?... oh, look at that," he picked up a police cap and put it on, "Does it fit me?"
"It looks great on you," Lindsay said, appearing out of nowhere.
Cody looked over, "Lindsay, you're not supposed to come in when the door says 'occupied'," he said.
"Oh... The cap still looks good on you."
He smiled, "thank you."
End of confessional.
-0-
POV. Cody
Although I doubt Izzy would try to trick me with a giant monster, it was nice to avoid that event, not to mention that the boys' trailer wasn't destroyed this time, plus we rescued them three hours early.
Chris stepped out of the girls' trailer, "Wow, it looks like you all made it, guess I lose the bet. That was just a warmup, good news is, your next challenge is a reward," we all celebrated for this, "it will be the boys against the girls, with the winner getting the first pick of the trailers, where you'll be living for the next forty-two days! You will have your choice of trailer A," he said, pointing to the trailer on the left, "or trailer B," it's less impactful when one of them isn't destroyed, but what you gonna do?
"Yeah baby, I'm starving," Owen said.
Confessional.
Owen
"My mom says I eat when I'm upset. And happy. And tired. Not to mention bored, gassy, morose, joyous, comatose, semi-conscious, avuncular hahahaha, avuncular," he said with a fake mustache on his face.
End of confessional.
-0-
"Woo~ hoo~, this is awesome," Owen said looking at all the dishes on the table.
"Dude, this chow looks like something out of a commercial," Geoff said, and you know how such commercials are made?
"Can I start?" asked Lindsay, has anyone really learned to let Chris say what to do before you start?
"Let's get this speed-eating contest started!" said Owen excitedly, then got into position, "On your marks, get set, come to papa!", he went straight for the food.
"No, wait," Chris tried to stop him, but Owen had already started. I know I could have done something, but if Owen didn't learn to take care of what he puts in his mouth with this experience, then I guarantee he won't do it with anything.
It was with that idea that I watched along with the others the bizarre spectacle of Owen eating tons of props.
"Oh! Is this veal? It must be veal, I've never tasted anything like this," Owen said, "Does everything taste the same when you're hungry?"
...
Once he was done, he lay back on the table with a noticeable stomachache, "Owen, the man of many appetites. How was it?" asked Chris.
"The turkey was a little *burp* dry," Owen said.
"Not surprising, since the food was fake," Chris replied.
"Fake?"
"Yep, just props made from foam core, silicone, sawdust, and wax," the host said while pointing to the chef who was holding the materials, "It wasn't a speed-eating contest, it was a contest to find the key."
"Which key?" Owen burped the key, "Oh, you mean this key?"
"That'd be the one."
"You mean I win?" I wouldn't call it a win.
"Yes. Yes, it does."
"All right!"
Confessional.
Duncan
"Hahahahaha, did you see that? The dude ate foam core and wax, full props for that, man, hahahaha."
Geoff
"Way to find the key, dude! I used to think Owen was just some party dude, but he's really a stand-up guy. Party on!"
Harold
"I could have done that, you know? I just wasn't hungry."
Owen
"Oh wait, wait, wait. There's still one more, BURP!".
LeShawna
"Know what that boy has? Guts, guts full of foam core and rubber but guts just the same."
Courtney
"Uff, my stomach hurts just knowing everything he ate," she said with a grimace.
End of confessional.
Chef put two stomach pills in a glass for Owen, "Oh, don't worry. I'm cool, my mom says I've got a gut like a goat."
*Bubbling*
Owen's stomach made a bubbling sound, "nope, call 911," he changed his mind.
"You're gonna need it. Since you're the winner, you get first pick of the trailers," Chris told him.
-0-
Owen looked carefully between the two trailers, they both looked very similar, and there was the catch, the first time it wasn't hard for him to decide because the difference was clear... even though he made the worst decision possible.
"I choose, trailer B," Owen said. The same as before, coincidence I imagine. No one said anything about his decision.
"Well, these will be your homes until the season is over... except for Cody," Chris announced.
I opened my eyes, "What?"
*FALL, CRASH*
A helicopter dropped the trailer I won last season right in the middle of both trailers, forming a semicircle.
"As you all remember Cody won this award last season, we were supposed to leave it at his house at the end of the season, but I think we'd better leave it here for him to use, he enjoys being the only competitor to enjoy privacy and certain comforts lol," Chris laughed at this.
Many looked at me with bad intentions.
Confessional.
Cody
"How I hate that host," he said, rolling his eyes.
Justin
"I should enjoy my own trailer full of luxuries and comforts, hello, this face could not be stressed, I will get gray hair and wrinkles."
End of confessional.
-0-
It was already dark, sitting near the extinguished campfire as Chris drove by in his cart.
"Okay, everyone! Get a good night sleep because you've got a seriously early wake-up call. Call time is six a.m. hahahaha, sleep quickly."
After Chris left and a goodnight kiss from Izzy, everyone got into their trailers. I listened for a while longer. The boys chose beds and went to sleep right away.
Whereas with the girls it took a little longer, but, the same thing happened, it seems that Heather wisely chose not to make a scene.
Now with that proven, I went to my trailer, even if I didn't use it, the fact that I was here, already made me a target, if I went with the boys they would mistakenly think that I pity them, plus unlike with the Gophers, I don't want to sleep in the same room with Harold, Duncan and Owen (who is a ticking time bomb this season), So I'll use the prize I win and move on with my life.
Once inside, I covered my ears. I didn't listen to Chris's five a.m. call or Owen's powerful fart.
-0-
POV. Third person
Chris is standing outside the trailers, he had just made the morning call, "That's a wrap on day one. How will Owen fare with a stomach full of foam core and sawdust? How many hate Cody for his privilege? What will tomorrow hold for Gwen and Trent? Who knows what drama is in store for our cast? Well, I do. But I ain't tellin', See you next time for another thrilling episode of TOTAL... DRAMA... ACTION! Hahahaha, Mclean out."
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
"Can someone please put a wrap on that monster!?"