disclamer:everything fromspy x familybelongs totatsuya endo
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[Day #3: Fall in Love — Babysitter AU]
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Kissing his daughter's babysitter is an accident.
And by accident, he means he didn't intend to do it in the first place.
Loid Forger blames his nerves and his damned lack of sleep that don't let him tell apart from reality.
Yor Briar has been babysitting Anya for a month now. Loid was worried about how much it would affect his daughter his constant absence during the five days of the week, but thankfully, Yor has been a blessing because Anya wouldn't stop talking about her, waiting impatiently for her to reach home or her school when she has to pick her up.
It warms his heart that she has found something similar to a mother figure.
Because Yor Briar has a maternal instinct in her — glowing from her like moonlight.
She's also really pretty.
Not that Loid counts it as an important side of her.
He wants to believe that the root of the problem starts when he gets home really late after an unexpectedly long session in the clinic. His patient had been delicate, and he didn't even find the time to call to the telephone of his own home and announce he had a hard time to come back. When he makes it, though, his daughter happily runs towards him and hugs his leg in a bouquet of happiness.
"Good evening, Mr. Forger", Yor smiles warmily as she walks towards him. "I'm sorry, she didn't want to go to bed until you came back."
"It's alright, Miss Briar", Loid replies as he pats Anya's head, "I'm the one who should apologize, please forgive me for not informing you I would come back late."
The red of her eyes melt like burning honey and Loid wants to stop the fluttering storm of his heart.
"Please don't worry, since we had fun studying and then watching our cartoons, didn't we, Anya?"
His daughter jumps from his leg to Yor's hugging her and tugging on her red sweater, "Anya is going to get so many scores tomorrow!"
Loid tilts his head, confused and Yor simply laughs, caressing her hair. She tucks her in bed, now that Anya is finally satisfied that she got to welcome her papa home and to say goodbye to Yor. Once they're alone, Loid puts on his coat again, following her to the door.
"Please allow me to drive you home", he says. "It's not a safe hour for you to go back alone."
Yor stutters that it's not necessary at all, but Loid insists, as it was his fault for coming back late in the first place. After they get in his car and put on the seat belt, Loid glances at her, noticing that her cheeks are slightly more red than usual and that she looks everywhere as if in a nervous state.
Is she uncomfortable?
"Are you all right, Miss Briar?"
She jumps in her seat, "Y—yes! It's nothing."
He hums, trying to not push her into saying anything that she doesn't want. After fifteen minutes of a deep silence, they finally arrive, and for some reason Yor takes her time to get off the car — her eyes staring at a lost point in front of her, eyes clouded and cheeks still blushed, as if deeply thinking something. When he's about to ask her what's wrong, she suddenly turns to face him, eyes on fire and fists tightly on her lap.
"Thank you very much for driving me home, Mr. Forger!"
"O—oh, it's nothing, really."
Silence again.
She moves in a way that makes him think she's finally going to get off. Loid prepares to wait for her and start the car again, staring at the road in front of him, until he feels her presence suddenly closer to him. Everything after that happens quickly but slowly, like a dangerous eternity, when Yor means to place her lips softly on his cheek, only for Loid to turn his face towards her — her lips landing on his.
Loid opens his eyes so wide it hurts, unable to react, until it's Yor who steps back so violently she hits the door behind her. Her face is redder than his, stuttering so much he can't understand what he says, until she yells an "I'm so sorry!" so loud it echoes in the night, quickly getting out of the car and running towards her little departament.
He just stays there staring at the door she just closed, unable to begin the road again, cheeks so red he begins to feel a burning heat even in the middle of autumn.
Loid tries to forget about the accident soon, but the honey feel of her lips doesn't leave him all night.
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He leaves from work early this time, yet for once, he wishes he would be late again. He doesn't know how to face her, even if they apologized to each other and then talked on the phone. Even if she sounded so adorable as she begged for his forgiveness. Even if he can't stop thinking about the cotton of her lips, as quickly and briefly they landed on his mouth. Even if—
This better not become a major problem.
When he comes back home, Yor is running behind Anya, wearing some sort of cape and hat as Anya holds her toy gun in her hand, exclaiming, "You will not get away with it, you evil with Yolanda!"
Yolanda?
Loid moves his head, ignoring such silly question. He sees that they haven't noticed that he's back, and he has to hold back a chuckle as he seem them both playing, Yor making some sort of evil laughter and running with her loose hair dancing like threads of starless night, her red eyes clouded beautifully like—
Stop.
He has to stop.
He coughs against his fist, gaining their attention as they stop their little game.
"Papa! Welcome back!", Anya runs at him with open arms, and he carries her in his arms, smiling as she nuzzles her.
"I'm sorry I'm late again", he smiles at Yor, and they both blush as their eyes meet.
"Oh, it's nothing at all", she moves her hands, blushing prettily, unable to look at his eyes. "We were playing Spy Wars, you see."
He wonders how she's a witch in such a context, but ignores the silly question again in his head.
"I should get going, b—before it gets late again", Yor says, taking her jacket and purse in her hand. "Goodbye, Anya, be a good girl tonight. And goodnight, Mr. Forger."
Anya happily waves back at her as Yor walks towards the door, but Loid asks her to wait, his heart pounding on his chest. He tells his daughter to wait for him while she finishes her cartoons, and when Anya happily obeys, running towards the television, Loid walks Yor to the door.
"Will you come back next Monday?"
Yor nods, looking everywhere but at him, "Of course, Mr. Forger."
Silence pierces them, and Loid wants to give a frustrated growl — hating himself for acting like a shy, embarrassed teenager. He peeks at her again, and she's still blushing to the tip of her ears, lovely as always.
"Miss Briar—"
"I—"
Both open their mouths to talk, stuttering in their own words, but Loid moves an arm towards her, "please, you first."
Yor moves a lock of her hair behind her ear, nervous.
"I just wanted to apologize again… for my behavior last week", she murmurs, and she looks so shy and fragile for a moment. "It was very inappropriate on my part, I'm very sorry."
For once, Loid relaxes his shoulders, wishing to erase all awkwardness and sadness from her.
"It was an accident, Miss Briar", he answers. "I'm not bothered by it at all, please, don't worry anymore."
A twinkle of sadness shines on her eyes that Loid can't understand why, so he rushes into easing the awkwardness of the conversation.
"I want you to keep babysitting Anya, she loves you very much, you see", he smiles. "Especially whenever you follow all her little games, like today, Yolanda", he teases, and when he finally makes her laugh, he feels glad.
"Anya is just so creative and imaginative", she giggles under her palm. "I always look so silly wearing those costumes she requests, I'm almost embarrassed whenever you come back."
He wonders why she would care about that, but he rushes to deny her words.
"You don't have to worry about something like that," he replies. "You're already beautiful, you could be wearing a cape and—"
"You think I'm beautiful?"
His eyes snap up to hers, wide and shining against her ruby eyes, and Loid can't think of a single excuse to take back his words. He can laugh it off, lie, anything, but instead he says:
"Yes", and he immediately wants to jump out of the window.
Yor can't possibly get redder than she already is, but she buries her face in her hands, the sadness from her eyes gone. Loid stares at the other side, rubbing the back of his neck in awkward silence, not knowing how to save this conversation anymore, until Yor's muffled voice calls him again.
"Thank you", she answers. "I think… I think you're very handsome, too."
Loid opens his eyes wide and looks at his side, unable to stare at her eyes just like she doesn't seem to be able to. Suddenly he doesn't know what to do with this information — that she thinks he looks good: he, who has messy hair and bangs under his eyes from lack of sleep and constant stomach pains. He also doesn't know how to feel, or what is this situation at all. Talking like this to a babysitter he has known for half a year feels odd, and kinda wrong — yet like a fool he can't stop the growing little happiness at her compliment, and the fact that she's glad he has called her pretty too.
But before he can say all of this to her, or the contrary so he just avoids the situation, Yor bows her head and quickly walks away — leaving him with his heart in his hands again.
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Neither of them imagined themselves in this situation.
Loid tries to analyze the problem from the start.
A violent storm broke as soon as he got home, very late again, and it was too dangerous to drive Yor home. Therefore, Loid offered to spend the night with them until the next morning, when the storm stopped. Yor tried to decline, but he insisted, until Anya was happily running at her, content that she's going to spend longer time with them.
Now Loid sleeps on the couch (after he insisted to her, again, that she gets his bed), staring at the ceiling with a frown in his face, unable to sleep. He feels absolutely exhausted, the good kind of tiredness actually — the kind that makes one look forward to bed knowing that a good sleep awaits. He's clean after a warm bath that he took after a shy Yor used the bathtub, the smell of soap and shampoo on her soothing him until he feels lulled to sleep.
Yet sleep avoids him, and he knows the reason why: Yor Briar is, at this very moment, asleep on the exact same bed he sleeps in every night.
Yor is in the next room.
Instantly his eyes jerk open. His damned brain. He groans, rolling over into his stomach, almost angrily he puffs his pillow before letting his head fall heavily on them. Loid squeezes his eyes shut, willing himself to sleep, letting the sound of the insistent rain turn off his thoughts.
Until a cry from his daughter muffled by the storm makes him sit up.
Oh, he knows what it means — even if it's been a whole year since it last happened.
As Loid quickly gets up, rushing towards Anya's room, he bumps into Yor in the middle of the corridor, and he stares at her panicked and confused expression.
"It's a nightmare", he quickly explains, running out of time. "It hasn't happened in a year and I—"
Anya cries again, making them both look at her door. Loid is about to walk to her room, until a gentle hand rests on his chest.
"Please, let me try", Yor murmurs, and Loid can only stay there, following her with his gaze.
Yor opens the door of the room and her frame meddles with the darkness, the lightning of thunder illuminating the path towards Anya's bed. Loid walks until he stops in the doorframe, observing Yor cradling Anya in her arms, whispering sweet words in her ear. He can see his daughter's little fists holding onto her clothes, sobbing, until her cries slowly stop as she sees how her father walks towards them, smiling.
Loid sits next to Yor, surprising her, and pats Anya's head as she nuzzles against his touch. She lets her rest on Yor's lap as he does what he has always done since the first night she awoke with a nightmare, years ago, singing her his mother's lullaby. As he sings, with Yor staring at him in awe, Anya slowly close sher little eyelids, lulled on Yor's arms — and as Loid sings the last note, he moves his head in a gesture to let her know that she can rope Anya in her bed now.
Once she does it, they stare at her for a while, making sure she's deep asleep.
"Why don't I make us some tea?", she asks as they close the door of her room.
Loid sits on the couch he had been sleeping in, and Yor shows up with two steaming warm cups on her hands. She looks so lovely like this, wearing his long shirt she had to wear in order to not sleep on her sweater, as blushed and shy she was about it; her loose hair tangled in all sides and the bags under her eyes making her look so pretty anyways. A sparkle of warmth hits his chest at this sudden feeling of deep domesticity.
He moves his head again. He needs to stop.
"Thank you for being here, not only tonight", he says, taking the cup in one of his hands. "You're more than a babysitter ro Anya, you know?"
Yor blushes prettily, fondness and love on her eyes that make his heart beat faster, a maternal light glowing from her like stars in the night.
She sips on her tea, shy and nervous, "I try to do my best, it's so fun to be with her, and she's so lovely."
Loid nods in agreement, and they fall into silence again, until Yor speaks again.
"Excuse my meddling but… Anya is…?"
He understands her implication, not minding it at all, and he rests his arms on his knees as he can only stare at his empty cup.
"She's adopted, yes", he looks at her. "But Anya already knows that. She has from a long time ago."
Yor mutters an "oh" and falls silent again. The air is filled with a sort of awkwardness that Loid suddenly dislikes, missing the comfort and warmth she has brought with her during all the night. He recalls the image of her lulling Anya between her arms, a kind smile and rosy cheeks as his daughter hugged her, her little body slowly relaxing as he entered the room.
Like she has found a mother figure.
Something moves inside of him. Perhaps he's not doing that well as a father, after all. A sudden tiredness and sadness draws on his gaze, and he doesn't see Yor noticing it.
"…Loid?" She inquires, and the sudden informality of his name on her mouth makes a sparkle in his veins.
"Yes?", he responds, not missing a beat.
"Are you feeling alright?", she prods him gently.
"Yes, I just—", he holds his hands tightly, until it hurts. "I thought her nightmares were over a year ago, I still don't fully know what she went through before I adopted her. Yet this happens again, and perhaps, I didn't help her as much as I thought."
Yor stares at him quietly. She only looks at him. No words are spoken between them.
Until she suddenly smiles.
"Your lullaby was so soothing", she begins, and he glances at her. "Not only to me, but for Anya, her eyes softened when she heard her father's voice. These things take time, you know? You're doing great. You need to believe in yourself more, you're being a wonderful father to her!"
Her words reach directly into his chest and give his heart a rude awakening. Because nobody has told him such words before, because he didn't know how hungry he was for being seen like this — young, insecure, vulnerable. And she talks with such ease, such touching worry he can't bear it.
He doesn't intend to kiss her.
Perhaps he's lying — yes, he intends to. He wants to kiss her so badly.
So he does.
He closes the distance between their bodies as their knees and hands are brushing, and Loid stays very close to her face awaiting for a negative reaction. But when Yor doesn't move, eyes melting in shyness and want and cheeks all rosy — he knows the answer, and touches her lower lip with his thumb, caressing it until she's sighing against him. She mutters something he can't fully understand, and finally replaces his finger with his lips, their mouths barely brushing each other. Yor's timid hands land on his shoulders, remaining perfectly still in his arms, and with her silent permission he slants his mouth, kissing her firmly. He pulls on her lips, feeling the rush of her breath leaving her chest pressed against him when he bites gently on her plump lower one.
Yor gasps, but it doesn't seem to be enough for her as she takes his cheeks between her warmth and silk palms, sliding her tongue along the seam of his lips, pulling him even tighter against her. She then opens her mouth at his touch, allowing his tongue to slip inside. Now Loid gives a soft groan as he dips into the cherry flavor of her, slowly stroking her mouth, sliding against her tongue — her fingers squeezing his shoulders as Loid continues to kiss her slowly, not wanting to rush. He feels her shiver against him, and then to his disappointment she pulls her mouth away; but after taking a moment to catch her breath, Yor presses her mouth back to his, kissing him eagerly.
Yor breathes in deeply as his lips wraps around her bottom one. His scent reminds her of almonds and sunshine, a mix of the smell of old and ancient books. Her hands slide into his hair, soft between her fingers, and unconsciously she tugs on it. Loid bites her bottom lip as she tugs, making her gasp—then once more his mouth is on hers, kissing her deeply.
But he breaks the kiss abruptly, leaving her gasping and blinking up at him, moving away from him on the couch. For a moment neither of them say anything, breaths heavy and eyes glassy, but the silence becomes too much for their choked words.
"I should go back to bed", she whispers, and Loid nods slowly, unable to watch her as she quickly runs to his room.
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He doesn't get sleep for days.
For someone supposedly so smart, he feels extremely dumb.
After that night, Yor didn't show up to take care of Anya for a week, calling in sick. But Loid knows that's a complete lie, and she knows he's aware. Still, they don't try to talk to each other at all.
He feels like a coward.
When Anya asks about her day after day, Loid comes with the same excuse Yor told him on the phone. His daughter seems disappointed, and lonely — and Loid hates himself for what he has done. He doesn't even understand why he did what he did. Almost as if he likes her.
But he doesn't like her.
Or does he?
Loid hasn't felt like this since he's eleven years old — can he call himself an adult at this point?
He tries to forget about the topic and overload himself with work like's used to. He makes sure to remember to look for another babysitter because if Yor decides to step out, he will respect that — after he apologizes, even, maybe. He doesn't know. But he tries to get her away from his mind because there has to be a sort of a rule for situations like this, right? One can't date the babysitter of their children, it goes like an unspoken rule, one he has written and narrated in his own mind.
Yes. It goes without saying.
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But Loid definitely kind of wants to date his daughter's babysitter.
It hits him as he sits in his office writing some paper, like a sudden merciless wave in the middle of a calm ocean. At such realization, he lets out a growl as he messes his hair with both hands, feeling like a complete teenager. But it's true. This is happening. And he feels so overwhelmed and filled with anxiety, he doesn't know what to do, but he definitely needs to assume the reality.
Franky is the only person he can tell.
"Dude, why are you telling me this? You should be telling her."
"I can't tell her", he growls, drink in hand. "Imagine what would happen."
"Oh, yes, it would be such a problem. Telling the girl that clearly likes you that you like her too." Franky rolls his eyes. "This doesn't happen to me at all, and it hasn't to you for years either. You're not doing you or that woman any good by pretending nothing is happening."
Loid taps his fingers on the table, nervous, eyes calculating and piercing at the beer between his hands.
"You're doing it again."
"Doing what?"
"Overthinking everything, man!" Franky throws his head back, frustration growing on his voice. "Tell me, what is your other option? Being a single, overworked father and complain about it all day?'"
"Like you're one to talk", he glares. "A guy who hasn't had a single date for a year and only complains about it."
Franky bangs his hands on the table. "S—shut up! Now you're just looking for a fight! Look, just drink your beer and get out of here. Go get that love life you're so scared to have, you bastard."
"But I'm telling you—"
"Just do what I say!"
For once, Loid obeys him. When he gets out of the pub, he takes his phone and calls Yor, but she doesn't answer. He's thinking of going to her house, but that would scare her off, and he doesn't want to be insistent — as much as the anxiety is killing him. He leaves her a message that he would really love to talk to her, and that he will wait for her as much as he needs, yet minutes after he gets home, she rings on his doorbell.
When he sees her right there in front of him, all the bouquet of his tension unravels.
"Hello", she murmurs.
Her voice is filled with shyness and sadness — and it takes all his strength to not cage her in his arms and whisper her sweet words to lull her worries.
"I'm sorry for rushing here without speaking on the phone first."
"No, Miss Briar— I mean, Yor. It's alright. Would you want some coffee or tea?"
She smiles a bit and nods, going over to the couch and sitting down. When he comes with two cups of coffee, he sits down — as far—away from her as he can. He guesses, or is already sure, why she's here — but he still chooses to play naive, before he can talk his own feelings, and decides to give her the lead first.
"Did something happen?"
Yor moves on the couch, nervous and unable to meet his gaze.
"I wanted to apologize for that night last week, and for not coming to work like I should have", she murmurs, and she seems so little and vulnerable. "I know you didn't believe my excuse."
"You don't have to apologize at all", he rushes, longing to take away all sadness from her. I'm the one who's sorry, Miss Briar, after all I'm the one who started it."
"Then", she begins, and finally meets his gaze. "Why did you kiss me?"
There's the question.
Loid was always an analytical man with the blessing and curse of overthinking everything, yet now, he finds himself incapable of doing so. He was always such a good liar, too, but he can't do that to her.
"I wanted to touch you, so I did," she blushes, but her eyes aren't content with his answer, and he bites the inside of his cheek, remembering Franky's stupid words, and the honesty burns on his throat. "Actually it is more than that. I have been… I've been meaning to tell you something for the last couple of days. Well, I guess I've been meaning to tell you for months honestly, but a friend helped me figure it out recently. I'm not doing myself any favors with this, am I? The thing is… Alright, I—"
"Loid."
Her hand is suddenly on top of his, and Loid wonders when did she move next to him, but her hand is fresh and pleasantly cool and his name on her mouth shouldn't make his heart beat like this — but Yor glows like moonlight as she smiles at him, patient and happy.
"It's alright. Take your time."
He nods, letting out a shaky breath.
"I'm attracted to you, Yor, god, so attracted. I've got a... huge, massive crush on you. It's been for days and for months, since you accidently kissed me and before that, I'm sure, and I can't stop controlling myself anymore and… I'm sorry."
Yor nods, as if she understands a simple problem, but her face is painted in a deep red that matches her sweater and suddenly she buries her face under her palms, unable to look at him again. Loid hides his own blush too as he puts his hand behind his neck, staring at a lost point in the wall, feeling regretful for his sort—of—teenager—like confession until he hears Yor giggle happily.
"So you do like me."
She says it as if she has been waiting for an obvious confirmation.
"Yes. I want to kiss you and take you out on dates and drive you home every night."
"Oh." Yor becomes shy again, looking tiny in front of him.
"Please forgive me, I know this is weird, and kind of inappropriate and—"
"No, no. It isn't. It's...no." She shakes her head, ducking down and runs her thumbs over his knuckles. "I...like you, too. A lot, so much., actually. And I have suspected you have too, for a while."
"You have?"
"I was expecting you to fire me as soon as I accidentally kissed you, but you didn't, because you're so kind. And you called me beautiful, and you kissed me senseless and so much I couldn't shake the feeling of it for all week and— and even Anya sometimes tells me that 'her papa' really likes me, almost as if she can read his mind, and that she can't wait for him to tell me so she can starts calling me mama."
They fall into silence again.
Loid opens his mouth, shocked, and Yor has to hold back her smile. His own daughter exposed him, and worse, somehow she knew it before he did. Loid drops his head as he rests his arms on his knees, defeated and tired. They fall into silence for seconds that feel like a thousand years, but Yor keeps massaging his knuckles and wearing that pretty, kissable smile on her face, until she talks again.
"And I accept."
Loid looks up, "accept what?"
"To… date you, for you to date me", and she's red again, her smile filled with cherries. "If you still want to."
"Absolutely", he hurriedly says.
This time, it's Yor who kisses him first, cupping his cheeks between her winter palms and kissing him soundly. Their second kiss is almost sleepy, lazy, tender into letting each other take their time. There's sweetwater and honey in their touch, their cheeks pink and fingers interlacing like rose vines. Then she leans on top of him, gently pushing down with her hand on his chest — and her hands are on his hair, his tongue on her mouth, bodies pressed like stars meddling together.
Yor erases all his doubts and anxiety with the tip of her fingers, and the way she whispers his name on his lips it's like each syllable is magic. He wraps his hand around the back of her neck and pulls her closer, their breaths meddling like two rivers as he lets himself float alongside with her — while slowly, steadily, they both climb gentle words are whispered to one another.
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And eventually, Anya starts calling her 'mama'.
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