(AN: Since I've already written chapter two I decided to upload it. I know that this chapter is longer than chapter one (Aziraphale's POV) but this is because I wrote Crowley's reaction after the kiss first. The next chapter will be uploaded in a few days.
Love,TheHouseKnight)
"So tell me now, where was my fault? In loving you with my whole heart?"
White Blank Page (Mumford and Sons)
"We can return to heaven together. You can be an angel again!"
The Bentley cruised through the English countryside. The rain pattered against the black sheet metal of the car, and the drops of water ran down the windshield in all kinds of labyrinths. Crowley stared at the road ahead, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his fingers began to turn white. The clouds grew darker the further he drove, and the rain fell harder against the old vehicle.
I forgive you…
The words echoed in Crowley's head—the three words he hated the most. Three words that could signify forgiveness but, in this case, felt like a knife in the heart. Crowley clenched his hands even tighter around the steering wheel and pressed harder on the gas. The Bentley roared on, soon reaching 120 miles per hour. He released one hand from the steering wheel and leaned forward to turn on the radio. The loop of guitar echoed in the car's speakers. Since Crowley did not recognize the song, he didn't pay attention to the lyrics, but he began to suggestively calm down to the soft music. The woman continued to sing, and soon the song entered the chorus.
Say yes to heaven
Say yes to me
I got my eye on you
I got my eye on you
"What the hell!" Crowley exclaimed, lunging at the radio.
He quickly pressed the off button and turned his gaze back to the road. His thoughts drifted back again, this time to their last moment together. The memory of the kiss replayed over and over in Crowley's mind. He had felt that Aziraphale had been startled as he rushed toward him, lips meeting his. But surely Aziraphale had returned his kiss? Crowley traced his fingers lightly over his thin lips. Tears began to collect in his eyelids.
He had returned his kiss.
Suddenly, he slammed hard on the brake, and the car stopped abruptly. Crowley breathed quickly, staring at the raindrops against the windshield. Behind the vehicle, long skid marks were visible on the wet asphalt, and there was a smell of burnt rubber. With a hasty movement, Crowley removed his sunglasses and opened the car door. He stepped out and stood in the middle of the road.
"Then why did you choose your damn side?!" he shouted at the sky. He stretched his arms up in the sky, and the rain started to run down his face.
"Why didn't you just say no?"
Tears ran down his cheeks, mixing with the rain. Suddenly, a flash of lightning struck near the road beside him. Crowley didn't move from his spot; he just screamed. He screamed until all the air and sound disappeared, leaving only a hissing sound from his lungs. Crowley collapsed to the ground, drenched by the rain. His perfect red hair clung to his face.
"Why couldn't we just go away? We could have just been us, on our own side?" he whispered, struggling to find the little voice that remained. He sat there for hours until his clothes were so wet they hung like veils over his thin body.
"I just wanted it to be you and me. Just like Beelzebub and Gabriel. Us against the world, as it always has been."
Finally, Crowley stood up and walked toward the car. He opened the door and sat down behind the wheel. With a flick of his hand, the engine started, and he drove off again—toward no destination, toward nowhere.
Just like Crowley's empty heart.