A Truth Long Overdue (Part 1)

As Shepard, Tali and Garrus rose up to the steps of Liara's office, they saw that the attendant called Nyxeris was…missing.

Quickly got to work on her.

"Can't imagine what Liara must've done to her," Garrus went, almost jokingly. "Two years ago she couldn't even hurt an insect. Most I can imagine is her giving her secretary a spanking."

"Get your mind out the filter, you Bosh'tet." Tali exclaimed, though her voice indicated she was amused by this silly lewd joke. Shepard on the other hand had a different concern.

"Or…the secretary gave her a spanking…" Shepard replied. This drew the eye of concern from his two squadmates, but quickly understanding the three gave each other that same eye, but then a quick nod. Shepard said, "Stack up, standard protocol." All drew their non-mission loadout, a single sidearm being their pistols, non-service due to Cerberus' secretive espionage nature; maintaining an element of secrecy through non-uniform means of equipping through private sources was standard.

"Garrus mounted up directly behind the door, waving his omni-tool over the panel, facing toward Shepard and Tali whom had stacked up opposite side. When all were ready, Shepard nodded toward Garrus with him then returning the nod, then activating the panel, the door slid open with Garrus slipping back along with it to maintain his cover, allowing Shepard and Tali to quickly pour in and clear.

The sight they had drawn weapons on was better than expected. They had found no signs of struggle, instead they just found Liara with her back to them, gazing out the window with her hands behind her back. They all dropped their firearms, slowly holstering them back up.

"Guess the Dr. spanked the assistant after all…" Garrus said. Tali just gave him an annoyed glare from behind her mask. Garrus shrugged and replied: "What?"

"My friends…" Liara let out.

"Liara," Shepard acknowledged. "Nyxeris?"

"Dealt with…much to my dismay." Shepard said nothing, allowing his own silence to be the sympathy. "Information brokering is a dangerous business."

"Real cloak and dagger," Shepard added. "Having regrets leaving archaeology behind, doctor?" He still couldn't understand why she would deliberately leave a job she earned a doctorate's degree for to pursue a figurative pseudo-espionage career. Two years ago she couldn't even tell me what the difference between cover and concealment was. I guess Asari being natural spies is just some genetic trait.

"I do miss it, but the work I do here is more important," Liara said.

"I'd say archaeology is pretty important too," Shepard replied. "Without your specialization, we would've been stuck dead in the water during TF 40."

"But that's not needed anymore…" Shepard then stepped up to stand right beside her, keeping a good enough distance, and staring out the same window, hands on his hips.

"You know…" he went. "I don't do what I do so others could follow suit. Wars aren't fought for the sake of fighting them. They're fought so we can end them, so that others can pursue what they desire." Tali, from behind them heard his words and held her three fingered fist to her heart. Words that aren't even directed at her resonate so significantly. Such words spoke to her experience, as if they were directed at her.

"You always had such a nuanced look at life, Shepard," Liara said. "It was always encouraging. Which is why I…feel guilty."

"How does unwarranted philosophical diatribes make you feel guilty?" Shepard asked. His dry sense of humor didn't escape his breath when he got spaced. Liara gave him a worried look, then directed that toward the two other aliens in the room.

"Garrus, Tali," she said. "I need a minute with him. Alone." Garrus and Tali looked at each other then back at her.

"Um…okay," Garrus acknowledged, and then nodded his head toward the door to signal Tali with him. He began walking out, but Tali stopped and gazed upon Liara and Shepard for a moment in worry of…something. Eventually she turned and followed Garrus out the door, with it closing behind them. Suddenly, Liara and Shepard were alone in silence, prompting the Commander to break it.

"What's going on?" The Asari Doctor just faced away from him, not wanting to look him in the eye.

Hesitantly, she responded to his concern: "Did…Cerberus ever disclose how they recovered your body?" Upon hearing this question, noting her reserved temperament, and her clear nervousness to speak, Shepard's heart sank at the implication.

Wait, did she…His brow furrowed, and he pressed forward with a sinking feeling, "Liara…?"

"…Your remains were in the hands of the Shadow Broker…he was going to sell it to the Collectors…"

Shepard's mouth gaped minimally as he exhaled out his mouth, his eyes widening with each word she spoke; the truth he begrudgingly hypothesized was about to dawn on him.

"I took you from him…then Cerberus, they…told me they could rebuild you…"

"…what did you do?" He accused her. She finally looked up at him, to which he could see tears forming in her eyes.

"…I gave you to them."

Shepard was speechless, completely petrified of this. All this suffering, these full body pains, the knowledge of the darkness without time and space; no afterlife, I can't see my sister again…I was blissfully ignorant, and now I don't know what is true anymore, and it's all because of HER.

There was anger boiling up, his heart rate and his breathing started rising in a fight or flight response that had been jacked up since Elysium. This was a fundamental attack on everything he had wanted. He wanted to REST. For it all to have ended without the need to turn the gun on himself. He knows, he HAD attempted to take his own life on two separate occasions before, but never had the constitution to follow through.

Liara's tears started to well up thicker, and she stepped toward him, hands over her heart. "Please! You have to understand…I didn't have a choice! It was either the Shadow Broker or them!"

Shepard just couldn't believe for a doctor she would make such rationalizations. The anger just grew. She continued, "I told myself I was doing it FOR YOU…that I was saving you from death!"

I WAS ALREADY DEAD! He wanted to scream at her, but the words were choking up.

"But then I realized they would just use you for their own ends…" Oh really, you only THEN realized AFTER you gave my body away!? Did you think a terrorist group just wanted to roast smores over a campfire with me? "I just…I couldn't…I couldn't stand to lose you," Liara covered her mouth with one hand and reached toward Shepard with the other, her finger tips just pressing on his chest armor. "Because I…I…"

Suddenly, the expression of anger turned to rage, accentuated by a twitch of his eye.

He couldn't believe it. THAT'S WHY!?

All this newfound suffering caused by none other than an obsession she couldn't let go of. Suddenly, he shot up his hand and firmly grabbed her wrist, roughly handling her tender touch away from him, yanking her entire body with it, and with it came a yelp from her. He intently stared her in the eyes, tightening the grip on her wrist with as much fury as a stoic could let out.

You think of yourself as Orpheus going to Tartarus to bring me back from the dead, but you're not. No, you're more like a Selene, so obsessed with having Endymion that you curse him to eternal slumber. Ironic, Endymion was a Shepherd himself...

He could see the pain in her eyes, from his grip and his outburst, as the tears began to pour down her face and she looked up at him in fear. In the beginning moments, he almost enjoyed the pain he caused her, this petty revenge.

He wanted to say so much to her, to pour out all his wrathful words at her…but just couldn't. He didn't know how to respond, he didn't know what words were. But upon further gazing into her human like eyes, he stopped himself. As horrified of what she had done as he was, he was also horrified of what he was capable of when he loses control, and here he is seeing it. Still, he let out one last outburst and forcefully shoved her hand away out of his death grasp, and he backed up three huge steps while his eyes dart back and forth in his sockets.

Liara looked down from him, with her hand covering her mouth: "John…please…"

"Don't call me that!" He snapped. She spoke no other words, instead letting her sobs fill the silence. He looked up to her one last time, with as much composure as he can regain, for he saw he was always wrong to trust her, and never will he be able to…but he doesn't know that for sure. He doesn't know anything anymore. What other way is there to end this? He lets out one last exhale as he grows cold.

"I…appreciate your honesty." He said despondently, as he began to walk past her toward the door, with slow strides as he is lost in his thoughts.

"I'm…sorry…" She let out between sobs. "I thought…I was doing it…to save you!"

John stopped, turned his head back but didn't face her.

"…you didn't."

Like a spear through the heart, Liara's last sob turned into a silent cry she could not let out, with an agape mouth held behind her palm and fast blinking eyes dripping tears down her face. John, continued, the door opening for him, stepping out and leaving behind the final sound of Liara beginning to cry more aloud.

He could only stare upon the ground as his mind became dazed, confused by everything, unable to rationalize. It was sudden, but he then heard a voice call to him.

"Commander?" came the voice of Garrus, but he briefly ignored it. "Shepard?" He called, with more concern. "What the hell happened?"

He continued drifting forward, like he had done all his life.

"Shepard?" came the feminine voice of Tali, as she approached his side, going along with his speed. She leaned toward him; "Shepard!?" When he didn't respond a second time, Tali then got in front of him, firmly placing her hands against his shoulders. "JOHN!" She yelled. This had stopped him in his path, but he refused to look up, only seeing their two feet. "What happened?" She shifted her three fingered hands to cup his cheeks and prompted him to face up to her visor.

"John? What…" but she thought, maybe he isn't saying it for a reason. Maybe now isn't a good time. She then, prudently, shifted her question. "…what do you need?"

He gazed into the glow of her pupils behind her visor, as she stared back into his blue. He finally spoke.

"I need a drink."