Dearest Lavinia Letter Twenty-Four
Downton Village,
14th February 1920
My Dearest Mary,
I am overjoyed to share the news that our child has finally arrived! On the 11th of February, after a long and difficult labour, we welcomed a daughter into the world. She is the sweetest little thing, with a head of fair hair and the most delicate features. I have named her Elizabeth, after my mother. Though she is small, she seems strong, and already I am utterly devoted to her.
I must admit, however, that not everyone shares my joy as fully as I had hoped. Both Matthew and Robert were rather disappointed that she is a girl. I could see it in their faces, despite their efforts to mask it. Matthew, especially, had been hoping for a boy—a future heir, of course—and while he is kind to Elizabeth, I sense he is still coming to terms with the idea. Robert, ever blunt, made no effort to hide his disappointment. But that's Robert for you. I imagine you understand this feeling all too well; your father has always placed such importance on carrying on the Crawley name. My dear, I wouldn't trade her for any number of sons, no matter what society might say.
The birth itself was more difficult than I could have ever imagined. I won't hide the truth from you—the pain was almost unbearable. But Isobel was with me throughout, and her steady, calm presence was such a comfort. I truly don't know what I would have done without her. Dr Clarkson was wonderful as well, and between the two of them, I felt as safe as anyone could in such circumstances.
Matthew, on the other hand, has been distant since Elizabeth's birth. I had hoped that becoming a father might bring us closer, but I fear he is withdrawing into himself again, just as he did before Christmas. He says he is tired, and I know he has been worrying about the estate, but it's hard not to feel a little abandoned. I'm sure he will come around in time, but for now, I'm focusing on Elizabeth and trying to rest as much as I can.
And rest I must, my dear. I am so very tired, far more than I could have anticipated. Even holding Elizabeth for too long leaves me feeling faint. Dr Clarkson and Isobel, both assure me this is entirely normal, but at times, I feel quite overwhelmed. We've arranged for a wet nurse from the village to help with Elizabeth during the night, which has been a great relief—it has allowed me to sleep a little more. Matthew is sleeping in the spare room for now. He says he doesn't want to disturb my rest, though I suspect he is finding it easier to manage his own worries in solitude.
Please don't worry about me, Mary. Despite everything, holding Elizabeth makes it all worthwhile. She is perfect, and I can scarcely believe she's mine. I miss you terribly, and I can't help but wish you were here, especially as you near the end of your own pregnancy. It would be such a comfort to go through this together and to introduce our little ones to one another. I know how much you and Tom love your life in Dublin, but I worry, especially with all the stories we've been hearing about the troubles there.
Matthew orders the London papers, and they are full of alarming reports about the violence in Dublin. I fear for your safety, particularly as an Englishwoman living there. Have you been affected by any of it? I dearly hope not. Please take care of yourself and do keep me updated. I think of you constantly and send all my love to you and the baby.
With all my love,
Lavinia
Note: This story is coming to an end, the ending is planned and the very last chapter will end on letter 29. I have yet to write letter 28 and 29. There will be a bridging chapter between these two letters. So buckle up!