It wasn't the first time Kate had woken up drenched in sweat.
When the island was calling out for their return, she'd frequently dreamed of Claire, as if her mind was punishing her for not risking her life to find her. More often than not, those dreams involved Aaron, but they'd faded when they'd both returned, mostly unharmed, on the Ajira plane they'd flown back in.
As of late, those dreams had changed. Jack was now at the center of them, fighting for every last breath, sometimes pleading for her to leave, and save herself as she had, but sometimes begging for her to help him, for her to save him too.
It'd been less than a year since she'd left him to die and, while she knew he'd sacrificed himself for her — for them — because there was no saving him, she still felt guilty for not trying.
She hadn't had the guts to leave the house they'd once been so happy in. There were so many memories scattered around each corner and pictures of the three of them so happy on the walls. It made her feel like he was still there, even if she had to face the harsh reality that he wasn't and never would be.
As she always did after a nightmare, Kate stood up and walked down the hall to check on Aaron and then go downstairs, to get some water and calm herself down. But as she stood by the boy's door, she saw nothing but the blankets kicked down into a pile at the end of the bed.
Panic setting in, she rushed to the bathroom down the hall and found it equally empty. She couldn't help but feel like Judgment Day had come, like it was time for her to be punished for every crime and sin she'd ever committed, even though she felt like she'd atoned for it all already.
Skipping two steps at a time, she made her way down the stairs, quickly checking that the front door was still locked before starting her search of the bottom floor. As she cleared each room, she tried to prick her ears and listen in for any noise that might help her find him — or whoever was responsible for him not being in his bedroom, if that was the case.
In the months since their return, Kate had done her best to move forward with her life, while still raising Aaron as her son. Despite Carole's protests, Claire had chosen not to disrupt the life the young boy knew and, instead, made herself present as Kate's friend and Jack's sister; a cool aunt who visited often and brought him presents.
Carole had eventually come around and learned to like Kate, even if she still hadn't fully forgiven her for not telling her about her grandson sooner. Kate had welcomed them both into their little family, making room for them to bond with the young boy and participate fully.
She hated that it crossed her mind that one of them might have come and taken him in the middle of the night. She hated that her mind still couldn't fully trust people, no matter how hard she tried, even if they'd given her no sign of wanting to have custody at all.
If anything, she'd seen them just hours before, when they'd all taken Aaron trick-or-treating for his fourth Halloween. He'd been ecstatic about Woody costume Claire had gotten him after he'd talked incessantly about the Toy Story movies he'd fallen in love with recently. The three of them had made sure to dot on the boy and take many pictures; Kate already knew the one she'd want framed.
A thought suddenly clicked in Kate's head and she rushed to the pantry, finding exactly what she thought she would. There, on the floor, sat a guilty-looking Aaron, hair tussled, mouth covered in chocolate, in his Spider-Man pajamas. "Hi, mommy," he said, sheepishly, shooting her a chocolatey smile that sure melted her heart, even if she couldn't show it.
She had to admire his climbing skills. The box with the candy he'd collected had been at the highest of the shelves, to prevent him from eating too much of it all at once, and he'd managed to not only get them down but to do so silently. She'd had him agree to only eating a couple of pieces a day, for dessert, after lunch and dinner, if he ate all of his food.
Even though he wasn't biologically hers, she feared she'd influenced his ability to not do as he was told, and the climbing too. More than once, he'd witnessed her climbing skills when she tried to reach something too high despite her short stature or when they went to the park.
"Hi, Goober." She tried and failed to be mad. How could she when she knew she would've done the same at his age, if not worse?
"You want one?" There was an all too familiar mischief in his eyes and it made her want to roll hers.
"No, baby. What I want is for you to put your candy away and come with me." She watched as he did as she'd told and stood up to hold her hand. "Let's go brush those teeth and then you can come cuddle with me, okay?"
Aaron nodded and followed along, going through the bedtime routine all over again. When they got into her bed, she let him cuddle close to her, and rest his head over her heart, as he always had, ever since he was a little baby on Penny's rescue boat.
"Can you tell me a story about Uncle Jack?"
It still hurt her to think about him, to think of what they'd had, what they'd lost, what they could've been. But she was grateful Aaron had the chance to get to know him while he was around and, even if he wouldn't remember, they could keep him alive for him.
"Of course I can. You know, your Uncle Jack was really crazy about Apollo bars, just like you…"
She continued, telling him about all the times she'd caught Jack sneaking chocolate into her bag so she could enjoy them too, about all the times he'd begged her to buy those bars when she went shopping but refrained from telling him about all the times he'd kissed her, the taste of chocolate still on his lips, and she'd fake being mad at him for eating them without sharing.
As Aaron started to get heavier in her arms, sleep taking over, she felt herself getting lighter; the memory of Jack no longer weighing in her chest. With her Goober in her arms, and happy recollections of Jack on her mind, she let sleep take her too.