A/N: Last 2024 update for the night! I greatly expanded on several points in this chapter. I also did a little more research on Mass Effect's Haptic Adaptive Interface technology and expanded the piloting of the Normandy. Enjoy!

Disclaimers that need disclaiming: Mass Effect and all it's characters are property of BioWare and EA. For entertainment only!

The atmosphere on the ship was tense after the events on Horizon. Shepard had slipped into a rigid state, devoid of any emotion. She refused to let any weakness show to the crew, including to her own pilot. Off hour screwing around was one thing, but to show that she couldn't handle her emotions was forbidden for her. Even after setting a destination on the galaxy map and heading up to see Joker, she wouldn't let that guard drop. He turned his chair to face her, like he always did and he had that trademark grin he always wore. But it slowly faded when he saw the look on Shepard's face. That stoic, cold look. It was Virmire all over again.

But that didn't stop him from trying to cheer her up. "Hey, Commander, pretty crazy the people you run into. I mean it was probably a set up or something, but it was good to see Ash. Operations Chief Williams wasn't it?"

Jenna feigned a bitter smile. "She moved on, I can't blame her."

Joker scoffed at her response. "She was front lined with you blowing up half the Citadel and I'm the one who gets roped back into saving the galaxy? What, did someone switch our files?"

She quirked her brow at him with a half-hearted sigh. "You're the force that pulls it all together, Joker."

"Yeah it sucks, I'll give you that." There was that awkward silence again. He had to break it. "So, Haestrom? We'll be there in about 72 hours. You planning on taking your frustrations out on Geth, Commander?"

The guard dropped a little as Shepard's shoulders slumped slightly. She shook her head slightly in response to his question. "Tali's there," she whispered. When Jenna looked up, her eyes found his own. The worried distress she found there dropped the wall she was trying to hide behind completely. She opened her mouth to say something, but stopped. She shook her head and turned away instead, leaving the deck without another word to anyone.

Normally, Joker would have just left her alone to let her compose herself. He wasn't the touchy feely type. But this was beyond normal. He was right; This was Virmire all over again. Shepard would lock herself in her quarters until they reached their next destination, avoiding all contact. Last time, he didn't do anything to console her on the matter. How could he? She was his commander. He was a lieutenant. Her subordinate. But now rank no longer mattered. They were a crew on a civilian ship and he would be damned if he was going to let her do that again. Joker waited a good ten minutes before going after Shepard. He ignored the yeoman's greetings and punched the button to the Loft.

Fully expecting to find the door locked, Joker was surprised as it slid open upon his approach. As he stepped in, he took in the sights of the room, looking for Shepard. Her desk was neat and organized with a small picture on it of what he assumed was Shepard at a young age with another girl in Alliance fatigues in it with her. Joker picked it up and studied it as he remembered her telling him of her sister joining the military and assumed it was Rayna. Shepard looked so young and carefree with her nearly waist length black hair. Rayna had the same green eyes and black hair as her sister. They both also shared the same amazing smile. Joker gave a quiet chuckle before setting the picture down on the desk again.

Joker was about to investigate the ship display case when a slight sniffle pulled his attention further in the room. Shepard was sitting on her bed with her back to the door, her uniform jacket haphazardly thrown on the table. The white tank top she wore was a stark contrast to the dark pants.

Joker stopped and stood at the side of her bed, his eyes suddenly fixed on what she was doing. It was half finished, but the shape was unmistakable; Shepard held a model of the SSV Normandy. Jenna held the unfinished model in her hands, running her fingers down the nose of the ship. "It was supposed to be a surprise for you," she cracked. He jerked back a little, not realizing that she noticed him standing there. "The last time we were on the Citadel, I saw it and I...thought of you. I wanted..." Her voice trailed off as she set the model down. Joker picked it up and turned it over in his hands. He could recall every inch of the ship. From stem to stern, he could see every section as if he were there the previous day. Feelings of nostalgia crept in his chest as he remembered his beloved ship. He was about to say something when her choked sob startled him.

Shit! What should I do?! I've seen her down before but never crying. Ah, dammit... Joker quickly set the model down on the bedside table next to him. "Shepard?" He slid on the bed in front of her, trying to get her to look at him.

Jenna avoided him and brought her hands up to wipe away the tears that fell on their own. "God dammit! What the hell is wrong with me? My brain can't seem to grasp the fact that two years have gone by for everyone." Her shoulders heaved as she tried to keep her composure. "Everyone's leaving me behind, Jeff. Garrus is so much darker than I remember him being. Tali is...the last time I saw her on Freedom's Progress she looked so grown up. And Ash..." her pained voice trailed off. "Everyone is leaving me." Jenna dropped her face into her hands in an attempt to keep the tears from falling further.

Joker hated seeing her like this, so broken and scared. This wasn't her. She was the hero of the Citadel. The sole survivor of her squadron's attack on Akuze. She was Jenna Shepard, his best friend and he needed to remind her of that. Joker brushed her hair behind her ear only to have it fall back down again. "Hey, I'm still here, you know."

"But for how long?!" she snapped her eyes locking with his.

His eyes widened with surprise. Emotional distress he could attempt to handle, but this? This self doubt and lack of confidence was too much. That right there pissed him off. Joker grabbed Shepard's shoulders and gave her one harsh shake, forcing a startled look from her. His normally sarcastic tone grabbed hold of a husky growl as he snapped at her. "Now you listen to me, and you listen to me good! I am not going to leave you. I will never leave you. When Cerberus came to me and offered me this job, I told them they could shove it up their collective asses. But as soon as they gave me proof that they were bringing you back, I didn't hesitate for a second. Why? Because I..." He stopped himself and just pulled her close. "I would follow you to the gates of Hell itself, Jenna." Jeff wrapped his arms around her as her shoulders shook and she lost control of her sobs.

You're not going to tell her are you? His inner voice sighed.

...No. It's bad enough she's down like this, I don't need to add to her torment.

You do know she's going to ask about that dream, right?

Yes, I know. But right now, what she needs is...is a friend.

Pfft, what she needs is more than a friend. What she needs is you.

As much as it hurt, he shoved his feelings for his commander down. Joker sighed and looked down at Jenna who was buried in his shirt. Her sobs finally calmed and her breathing slowed down enough for him to safely assume talking wouldn't start another episode. "Besides, if I left, you'd just end up crashing the ship into a planet," he quipped in a soft voice.

Jenna gave a stuffy laugh and lightly jabbed him in the side, her face still hidden away. "You are an ass, you know that?"

There's my girl. That's the Shepard I know. chuckled lightly. "Yeah, well we can add that to my resume." He straightened up and cleared his throat. "Jeffrey 'Joker' Moreau; Flight Lieutenant of the Normandy SR-1 and 2; Comic relief of the ship, keeper of random rumors and finest ass in the galaxy!" Her muffled laugh made him smile. Joker slipped his hand under her chin and lifted her head up. Her cheeks were tear stained, but her eyes no longer had the look of distress. He gave a soft smile as an idea came to his mind. "Hey, I need your help with something on the bridge," he said as he brushed a stray tear away with his thumb.

Jenna nodded and grabbed her jacket, following her pilot back down to the main deck. He led her to the cockpit and took her hand, pulling her along as sat back in the chair. Shepard gave him a worried glance as she hesitated. Joker just sighed and shook his head. "Just don't make any sudden moves and you'll be fine. You're not the only one who's gotten some upgrades these past couple of years. Thanks to our wonderful benefactor, I'm not as breakable as I used to be." She still hesitated slightly, slowly grabbing the arm of the chair to steady herself. Joker rolled his eyes and sighed. "Oh, good God, Jenna, will you sit down?"

Shepard harrumphed at him and finally sat down. "Excuse me for trying to be careful! What am I helping you with anyway?"

Joker chuckled lightly and gently took both of her wrists as he guided her hands to the console. "You, my dear Commander, are going to help me fly the Normandy." Jenna's eyes went wide with surprise as she tried to sputter out words and failed. Joker smirked at her and slid his hands over hers, matching her hand finger for finger. "Don't worry, I'm not going to let you crash into a planet. Just follow my lead. Ready?"

Shepard gave out a quick nod as Joker guided her hand to a few keys, dropping the ship out of auto pilot and into her control. She swore she could feel the weight of the ship fall onto them as she pressed the holographic keys. Jenna followed Joker's lead as he brought her hand up to a circle, telling her to turn that slowly. He continued to match her movements so she could experience the haptic feedback from the control panel. As she did, the Normandy started to roll on her axis giving Shepard a slight feeling of vertigo. Joker couldn't help but laugh at her sudden wince as the ship leveled out. For a moment, Jeff took his hand back to bring up the area star charts and found a passing comet nearby. He slid his hand back over hers and began to chart a course towards the celestial body. Joker made sure all the viewport screens were back so they could both see the icy tail of the comet as they passed under it. Flecks of ice and rock ticked at the plate glass as Joker inched the Normandy closer. Shepard gave a small gasp of astonishment before the ship fell back away from the comet's tail.

There was a quick flash of blue from the Mass Relay up ahead that caught both their attention and Jenna withdrew her hands from the helmsman's touch. "I should probably let you do this," she said sheepishly and started to get up. Joker lightly put his hand on her shoulder to keep her in place and leaned forward against her back. Jenna's heart began to race slightly as he did.

"You're fine where you are. Besides, you've got the best seat in the house right here. Nothing compares to making a jump from the helm." He couldn't help his ever widening grin when he felt her heart start to race as he leaned forward to take the helm. But he was right, the feeling of the jump was an amazing experience from the pilot's chair. Shepard had felt jumps before, but never the slight weight of gravity's push against her like this. She leaned back against Joker's chest, closing her eyes, losing herself in the warmth she felt. Joker casually dropped his arm across her waist while his other hand worked the helm. For once, she wasn't being shot at, or worried about the safety of her crew. Shepard was safe in the comfort of her pilot.

Then all at once, reality hit Jenna in the face. Her eyes snapped open and she quickly, but gently scrambled out of the chair. Joker gave her a confused look as he watched her regain her balance. They both looked at each other for a moment before Jenna's face turned a new shade of red. Joker's brow quirked and his head tilted to the side with further confusion as she started to back down the ramp. She stumbled over her words, jumping back and forth between English and Mandarin before finally sputtering "Thank you, Joker. You, uhm...I...I should go." Joker was so confused by the sudden shift that he couldn't even laugh at Shepard when she tripped over herself at the bottom of the ramp. He just slowly turned the chair back to the helm and stared at it.

"What the hell just happened?"