A/N: Last 2024 update and then an all new chapter. I once again rewrote almost this entire chapter. The original was so fluffed and just not flowing well at all. ME2 may have been muted in the romance, but that doesn't mean I have to be. That being said, do you have any idea how hard it is to write a strictly rated Fiction M romance scene?! I figured I edged you all with the original, you deserved a better piece of writing for sticking this out.

Usual disclaimer: Mass Effect is property of BioWare and EA

(rough) Translation:

Zhe jiu gou le! - That's enough!

"Shit, shit, shit!"

It was the only coherent thing that Joker could sputter out as he limped through the ship. He had a bad feeling about the Reaper IFF the moment Shepard brought the damned thing on board. But it was a necessary evil that had to be installed in order to finish the mission. Joker just wished that the testing didn't have to coincide with a ground mission. Shepard left with the entire ground team and placed the ship under his command. She left them without any worry that anything could go wrong. But irony and Shepard seemed to go hand-in-hand as of late.

Joker had never felt so scared in his life. Even when the Normandy fell apart around him, he knew that he was at least attempting to do his job. But now, he had to rely on an AI he barely trusted to get him through this. Releasing it would either be his salvation or damnation. The fact that he couldn't determine which terrified him. The crew knew of his intentions as he made his way to EDI's core. All he could do was watch them sacrifice themselves so that he could get by. He didn't want any of this. He didn't want to lose anyone, but there wasn't anything he could do to help them. His mind pleaded and begged for Shepard to come back. Come back to save them all from the Collectors. Come back to save them all from becoming test subjects like those they found on their ship. Come back to save them from whatever fate would befall them.

But his miraculous save never came as he unleashed EDI's bindings and gave her control of the ship. Joker remained on the floor for a few moments as he tried to get his mind to focus again. Exhaustion and pain finally washed over him as he pulled himself off the floor. For a brief moment he was amazed that he was able to get up from his fall. Rewind a few years and such a fall would have likely put him in the hospital for a while. That thought soon faded as he limped into the debriefing room. He didn't want to be near the helm at that moment because it meant walking past all those empty chairs. Empty because of him. Empty because he couldn't save them.

It didn't take the ground team long to return to the ship. Shepard just stared at him as Joker sat on the conference table. Her features were passive, betraying nothing that was going through her mind at the moment. She was upset at what happened. Angry at herself for letting this happen. But most of all, she was worried about Joker. When he glanced up at her, he looked so exhausted, defeated, and broken. Shepard took a breath to say something but was cut off when Miranda stormed into the debriefing room.

"Everyone? You lost everyone and damn near lost the ship, too?!" she snapped at Joker.

The pilot glared at her for a moment. He wanted to snap back at her, but none of his usual sarcasm was there. He gave up trying and just sighed, "I know, all right? I was here!"

"It's not his fault, Miranda. None of us caught it," Jacob interjected in Joker's defense.

EDI chimed in for him as well. "Mr. Taylor is correct. The harmful data in the Collector drive was much more powerful than the 'black box' Reaper viruses I was given."

Jenna managed to catch Joker's gaze, a brief glimmer of worry flickered in her eyes. "I heard it was a rough ride. How are you holding up?"

Joker broke her gaze and stared at the wall. "There's a lot of empty chairs in here."

"We did everything we could, Jeff," EDI assured him.

"Yeah...thanks, mom," he forced out.

Shepard forced back her feelings for the moment and tried to assess the situation. "Is the ship clean? We can't risk this happening again."

"EDI and I purged the systems. The Reaper IFF is online. We can go through the Omega 4 Relay whenever you want."

Miranda shook her head and growled. She crossed her arms over her chest and did nothing but chastise Joker. "Don't even get me started about unshackling a damned AI."

"Well what can I do against Collectors?! Break my arm at them?"

Shepard had about enough of this. Constantly berating the only one to make it out of the attack was getting them nowhere. She curled her fists tight and finally snapped at her second-in-command. "Zhe jiu gou le! What would you have done differently?! Put yourself in his place, not as yourself but as Joker!" she growled, gesturing at him. "Every single person who was trained for combat was gone. Now you tell me, Miranda, what would you have done differently?" Lawson opened her mouth to say something, but quickly snapped it shut. There was nothing she could say that would have been any different.

"EDI's cleared the ship, she's alright," Joker interrupted in hopes to break the coming argument. He slid off the table and winced when his feet touched the floor. Crawling through ventilation ducts wasn't something he wanted to do ever again.

"I assure you, I am still bound by protocols in my programming. Even if I were not, you are my crewmates," EDI assured them.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "EDI's had plenty of opportunities to kill us. We need all the help we can get." She turned to Jacob. "How are the upgrades to the ship coming?"

"Garrus is running a few calibrations to the Thanix cannon before we're at one hundred percent, but as far as any further upgrades go, we have all we need to go after the crew," he responded with a nod.

"Then it's time we take the fight to the Collector's," Miranda added.

"Agreed. Jacob, Miranda, I want you two to begin final preparations with the rest of the crew. Joker, head back up to the bridge and run one last diagnostic and make sure everything is in running order. Inform me when everything is ready." The three of them nodded in acknowledgement and left the debriefing room.

Joker idly tapped at the keys as he carried out the task given to him. But his mind wasn't on his work. Shepard already came to see him once, but quickly retreated when he snapped at her. He knew she meant well, but Joker was so frustrated by everything that it nearly pushed him to a breaking point. She was genuinely hurt by his response, but respected his need for space as she backed away. He rubbed his hands on his face in an attempt to ease away the weariness he felt. The sounds of footfalls coming into the cockpit forced a groan from his chest as he turned the chair.

"Jenna, if you're coming to apoligize-" The pilot stopped short when he saw not the commander but their quarian engineer standing before him. Joker tilted his head to the side in slight confusion."Tali?"

Tali wrung her hands together for a moment then gently placed them at her side. "I was hoping to find you here. I wanted to talk to you," she forced out a sigh and looked off to the side.

Great, more pity. I don't need this. Not now. "Look, I'm fine. I don't need everyone coming up here to check on me," he snorted. The engineer shook her head, the glow of her eyes dimming as a sign of her closing them in response.

"I didn't come up here to check on you. I actually came up here to talk to you about Shepard." He stiffened slightly, almost expecting to be reprimanded for the way he snapped at her. But the harsh words never came, just the gentle voice from the young girl in front of him. "She came down to see me in engineering to make sure I was okay working alone. Of course I told her I was fine, but I could tell that she wasn't. When I asked her if she was okay, she said not to worry about it."

Joker scoffed as the corner of his mouth twitched. Of course she would say that. Always keeping up that image.

"I've been around her long enough to know when something's wrong, even when she thinks she's hiding it. It's the subtle changes in her voice that not many seem to catch." Tali glanced off to the side for a moment and then back at the pilot. "It's the same with you."

Joker blinked and quickly shook his head. "Tali, what are you talking about?"

"You both are so alike, it's almost funny. But at the same time, it's kind of sad. Even though you both found each other, you're still unsure on what to do." Joker raised a questioning eyebrow at her. "Shepard has told me how crazy she is about you, but she's also voiced her frustrations about you to me. You hate being fussed over or even have someone worry about you. She's the same way, you know. You both hide behind your walls, wanting to deal with it alone. So neither of you tries to seek the comfort you want or need from each other." Joker started to say something, but Tali raised her hand to stop him. She took a step back down the ramp. "You're not alone anymore, Joker. You don't have to face this by yourself. Please, remember that." Tali turned and left him alone in the cockpit with those words to mull over.

It wasn't long before his console alerted him to new coordinates being requested. When he glanced back, Joker saw Shepard leaving the galaxy map for the elevator, but not before stealing a glance towards the cockpit. Even from far away he could see the conflict in her face. She wanted to see him but she wanted to respect his space at the same time. I don't have to face this alone... Joker forced out a sigh and stared past his console.

This is fucking stupid. She knows I'll be fine and I'm sure she'll be okay, too. We've both been through a lot of shit and came out better for it. He took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. Keeping people an arm's length away worked well for him all his life. People didn't fuss over him and he liked it that way. But it also meant relationships were short or far and few between. Joker looked down at his legs with contempt. Even with the cybernetic implants Cerberus gave him, he was still unable to do more than fly the ship. The frailty of everything from the waist down made him an outsider. But Shepard always found a way to look past made him feel normal even if he wasn't.

God dammit, Jeff. You are the galaxy's biggest moron ever. You need her just as much as she needs you right now. So get off your crippled ass and get up there! Joker groaned and pushed himself out of the chair. His inner monologue finally convinced him to get to the elevator. Yet, as he reached for the call button he stopped. "What the hell do I say?"

Shepard turned the model ship over in her hands several times before she sighed and placed it back in the display case. As she closed the case, the soft hiss of her door grabbed her attention and she was surprised to see Joker standing in the doorway. He stepped in and looked at her with an exhausted glance before looking at the floor. Jenna took his hands in hers and coaxed him to look at her. "Jeff, what's wrong?"

He looked up at her and saw the look in her eyes. There wasn't an ounce of pity in those deep green eyes as she looked at him. A thousand questions ran through Joker's mind but none of them made sense. He spent a few minutes in front of her door trying to figure out what he would say, but now words failed him. So he chose silence instead. Jeff brought his hands up to cradle Jenna's face and pull her towards him. He placed a soft kiss on her lips before pulling back slightly and running his thumb across her lips. Jenna closed her eyes and sighed as she slid her hand over his, guiding him to the small of her back. As she did, her other hand slid behind his neck and pulled him into a fiercer kiss. Jeff pulled her closer, matching her move for move, his heart racing in his chest.

Jenna's fingers teased at the tucked end of Jeff's shirt as she started to pull him further into her quarters. He jerked slightly when her fingertips touched bare skin and slid up his back. As her nails lightly raked down his skin, Jeff moved to Jenna's neck and placed soft kisses there. While he did, the bill of his hat hit her in the side of the head and fell to the floor, landing with a soft thud. Both of them stopped for a moment to look at it before Jeff looked back at her. The corner of his mouth twitched before he let out a small chuckle. Jenna grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head before stepping back and falling onto her bed. She let out a startled yelp as she landed, not realizing how close she was. Her concentration broke for a moment, giving her time to look up at Jeff. Despite the fact that he wasn't a ground soldier, he was still fit, owing that to the military life they both led. Jenna shook her head and tossed the shirt to the side before sliding back on the bed.

Jeff slid onto the bed above Jenna, his hand sliding up her shirt to find her bare skin. She drew in a sharp breath and arched her back as his fingers slid up her side, pulling her shirt with them. As he pulled her shirt off and threw it to the side, he saw that Jenna suddenly had a concerned look on her face. He tilted his head in confusion for a second then realized what she was worried about.

"I'll be fine," he breathed. "I'm not as breakable as I was, and I'm more than capable." Jenna relaxed when he gave her a soft smile and pulled her back into a deep kiss. She grabbed at his belt and guided him further up the bed until they were both comfortably on it. They both slipped out of the rest of their clothes, tossing them to the side.

Nothing else mattered in the universe. Their mission was a far cry in the back of their minds as their shared passion brought them together. He was no longer her pilot. She was no longer his commander. At that given moment, they were two souls bound together and intertwined in a lover's embrace that only they shared.

Jeff stared at their intertwined fingers as Jenna's head rested on his chest. He listened to her soft breathing and closed his eyes. Never in his life did he think he would share his body with a woman, let alone Shepard. He let out a deep sigh and hugged her closer, her bare skin warm on his own. Jenna drowsily looked up at him. "Penny for your thoughts?" she breathed.

He looked at their hands, trying to put his thoughts to words that made sense. Yet the only thing he could mutter out was "Why me?"

Jenna blinked in confusion and lifted herself up slightly. "Why you?"

"Of all the people around, why did you choose me?"

Jenna took in a deep breath and sighed before she folded her arm under her head, keeping on her side. Jeff did the same so he could see her better. She ran her fingers down his jawline and to his neck causing him to shiver slightly. Jenna smiled with soft eyes. "Because you treated me like a normal person. To you, I was nothing special. I just...was." Jeff narrowed his eyes in confusion. "People treated me differently because I grew up on the streets. My encounters with law enforcement was no secret in any unit I was a part of. I had to prove myself to them. Prove to them I wasn't an undisciplined trouble-maker. Then after Akuze, everyone was so afraid to talk to me. They treated me like I could break into a thousand pieces if they looked at me wrong. But you..." She cupped his face in her hand. "You were such an asshole to me."

Joker managed a laugh and shook his head. "Wait a minute. So, even though I was a complete jerk to you, you still fell in love with me? The whole fact that I was crippled didn't bother you or turn you away?"

"Why would it?"

Not an answer Jeff was expecting. Most people found his disability cute at first, but then annoying when they had to rearrange their plans to accommodate him. The confusion on his face brought about a chuckle from Jenna, earning her a glare from him. "I was trapped behind leg braces and crutches and that didn't bother you one bit. Why?"

Jenna tilted her head towards the ceiling a moment, trying to gauge her words carefully. "When I was a kid, I had a friend that took care of me the best he could after Rayna died. He had a disability himself, and I'm ashamed to admit it, but I treated him differently. I was more careful when he was around even though he told me I shouldn't and didn't need to. I just couldn't grasp the concept that he was capable of living his life and able to do many of the things I could." She chuckled at her memory. "I got into a heated argument with Danny one day. I can't remember what it was about, but I do remember that I threw something heavy at him out of blind rage. Luckily he dodged it, but he retaliated by kicking my ass." Jeff quirked a curious eyebrow at her. "Danny was blind."

Jeff grabbed the pillow he was lying on and stifled a laugh with it. "You got your ass kicked by a blind guy?"

"Sure did. Taught me a valuable lesson, too. Just because someone has a disability, it doesn't mean they can't beat the crap out of you." Jenna snuggled into Jeff and wrapped her arms around him. "Seriously, you never tried to be anyone but yourself when I was around. You made me feel like a normal person. It's the reason I liked you back then and eventually-"

"Commander," EDI chimed in from across the room. "You requested me to inform you when we were 20 minutes from the Omega-4 Relay. I have already informed the crew."

Jenna forced out a breath and glanced over to the AI's platform. "Thank you, EDI." She leaned up and sighed. "I guess it's back to reality for us."

Before she could slip out of the covers, Jeff grabbed her and pinned her down to the bed. Jenna squeaked in response as she fell back only to be muffled by his gentle kiss. As he broke away, Jeff gazed into her green eyes and smiled. "Now you can go," he chuckled. Jenna laughed and pushed her pilot off her.

As Jeff adjusted his belt, he saw Jenna come up to him with something in her hands. It was the finished model of the SSV Normandy. He was almost afraid to take it from her hands as she placed it in his. "I finished it just in time." He ran his fingers over every detail of the model from the nose to the wingtips. As he turned it over, he noticed a marking etched into the bottom of the model. Jeff looked at it closer and recognized his initials carefully carved into the belly of the ship.

"It's beautiful," he breathed.

"Of course, she'll have to stay up here with the rest of my ships. But, you can come up any time you want to see her." Jenna placed the model back into the display case before she made her way back to the bed. She scooped up Jeff's hat and slid it where it belonged, pulling him into one last kiss. "When this is all over, you and I are going to take a very long shore leave."

Jeff stepped back and gave her a sharp salute, a hint of teasing on his face. "Just say the word, ma'am and I'll plot a course for paradise." Even with the odds stacked against them, Jeff was determined to make sure they both made it to that shore leave awaiting the two of them.