Megumin woke earlier than usual the morning after receiving Wolbach's letter. Not that she had slept well to begin with.
After splashing water on her face to drive off the lingering cobwebs and making ready for the day, she stepped out into the morning bustle of Axel. There were several shops catering to beginning adventurers in town, so fortunately she wasn't forced to visit Wiz's. Which very much didn't.
Like most of her gear, even her hat and eyepatch, her staff hadn't survived the battle with Beldia, and that was totally unacceptable. She could cast Explosion without it, of course. Nothing could separate her from it, not now. But it would be far more efficient with a magical focus and, unlike the wand her best rival used, a staff could be wielded against annoying party leaders foolish enough to speak unflattering words about her magic or build.
The bell jingled above the shop door as she pushed her way in. Waving at the shopkeeper's absent greeting from where she was haggling with another customer at the counter, Megumin made her way to the rack of staves on the wall.
All of them were plain varnished wood and mostly straight, except for one that was obviously a roughly trimmed tree branch and probably for a druidic caster.
Not one had the panache of her old hook ended staff, glowing with eldritch power in its red crystal as she called forth…
Shaking her head, she sighed and took one off the rack, the only one stained in an almost ebony shade and thus the closest to being worthy. It would have to do.
As much as her best rival getting trained by a demon general too rankled her, it must be handy for her at times like this. No doubt Yunyun had access to a magical focus of ancient lineage and dreadful power, as befitting the scion of the Clan and apprentice to one whose very name struck fear in the stoutest hearts.
She wanted to call it more manipulation, sucking Yunyun deeper into Wiz's web of lies…
But the lich hadn't had to be there at all. Yunyun was safe in Axel, she could easily have sent a counter demand for Megumin's release explaining she was ignorant of their agreement. She certainly didn't need to storm a military camp alone and unleash Clan worthy destruction on her behalf. Not that a strongly worded message would've ended well for either her or Kazuma, given she just got through bullshitting Beldia, but still…
She huffed, shaking off might have beens. What was done was done, now all that's left was to stride boldly into the uncertain future. She would meet Wolbach's potential ire at her…minor setback with aplomb and confidence! With her new, though rather boring, staff at her side, how could she fail to triumph?
Newly rearmed, she next visited the guildhall to find most of her party already there. She made her way to the quest board on seeing Kazuma perusing it with Darkness and putting back quest listings as soon as she took one down.
"Megumin!" Darkness called, waving her over. "Tell Kazuma that you agree with me!"
"What dispute requires my sagacity and services?" She replied gravely.
Kazuma groaned. "For the last time, leave the griffin alone! We don't need the money anyway!"
"Actually…" Megumin began, ignoring that issue as far too much trouble, "I was thinking we should go to Arcanretia!" She blurted out, then stopped. Where had that come from?
Kazuma gave her a quizzical look. "Never heard of it, what's there?"
"You would have if you listened to me once in a while!" Aqua interrupted, flouncing over from the clerks' counter to stand hands on hips and glare at their party leader. "It's only the bestest hot spring resort in the kingdom!"
"Hot springs, you say?" He mused, a certain gleam coming to his eye that never yet failed to herald some sort of lechery. "It's true I could use a vacation after the last few months," he mused, then seemed to come to a decision. "What the hell. We've got the money and you only live twice. Let's go."
Megumin was as surprised as anyone at her offering the invitation, she'd really only planned to take a few days off from adventuring to meet Wolbach. But, the more she thought about it, this might be perfect. Ditching them to meet her mentor shouldn't be hard, and…and she'd done Arcanretia alone and poor once already. Alone and rich probably wasn't that much better.
"I suppose a vacation would be nice…" Darkness agreed, glancing at Kazuma briefly with another look she'd learned to translate with crystal clarity. "I hear the springs are blessed with all sorts of health benefits…"
She swore sometimes it seemed like her whole party was in heat. Well, not Aqua, unless you counted her relentless lust for all things alcoholic. Kazuma may be no great prize, but she felt responsible for him after accidentally leading him into an ambush and being captured by Beldia. His straying towards their crusader after what they'd been through together made her staff hand itch. Even if the interloper had a figure that could make a potato sack look good. Especially then.
"Great! There should be a carriage tomorrow morning! Let's go get ready, I can't wait!" Aqua chirped, tugging Kazuma away with both hands, skipping backwards as she went.
"What's there to pack? We don't own anything that won't fit in a blanket roll," he grumbled at his roommate, but followed her out the front doors she turned and thrust open, then released his hand to trot through before turning to glare at him impatiently.
"That's not the point! We need to get snacks for the trip, and tickets for the good seats! I'm riding in style, understood?"
Ignoring the fading bickering, Megumin nodded gravely to Darkness and followed them out the door. Their crusader didn't seem to notice, apparently too busy muttering to herself about what outfit to take. As if it mattered, Kazuma would leer at her no matter what she wore.
Outside, she decided to wander the marketplace before getting lunch. The guild had given them a down payment for their bounty, apparently they were going to have to pay in installments, but even so her account was heavier than it had been in…well as long as she could remember. Maybe longer than her parents could too. It was a strange thought, that she might now be worth more than her parents made in their whole lives. Combined.
True, that wasn't exactly normal for a newbie adventurer here in Axel. But the forests of the clan were home to much more dangerous, and lucrative, things than giant toads. She'd been in some of the shops, here and in Arcanretia, and seen what ingredients from home were being sold for. Unless the merchants were screwing over her family specifically…why weren't they living the way the other families in the Village lived?
She never quite thought it through until now. It was no secret to her that her parents were…financially illiterate. But the more she saw, the more she wondered.
Lost in thought as she wandered, she was jolted back to the present as her name finally penetrated her awareness.
"Yes, what?" she snapped, turning towards the voice to find Yunyun pouting beside her.
"F-finally," she grumbled. "If I were a goblin I'd have stabbed you all over."
"If you were a goblin the smell would've given you away long before now," Megumin rejoined archly. "Did you need something?"
"I asked where you were going. Miss Wiz closed the store for remodeling so I'm free today," she paused, looking away. "If you want to do something."
Megumin nodded graciously. "Of course, I'm free as well. Well, until I go back to my room and pack. I've decided a trip to Arcanretia with everyone would be a good way to celebrate."
"Oh! You'll love it! I s-stayed there for a while before Miss Wiz Teleported us back, there w-were so many cute little cafes…"
Megumin tuned out the happy chatter, a thought having struck her at Yunyun's comment. Wiz was a demon general. Who had Teleport, and a waypoint logged in Arcanretia. She didn't expect Wolbach to, hypothetically, try to vaporize her for totally accidentally getting her fellow general killed. But it might not hurt to have not only another general around for cover, but the general who did the deed…
"Why don't you both come with us?" she suggested casually. "Since the shop is closed?" Darkness would have no reason to refuse. She only knew Wiz and Yunyun had helped out two of her party mates, meaning she would gladly show her gratitude by bringing the two along. Kazuma would be easy enough to convince, given he and Megumin both owed Wiz their lives. And even if he wasn't, the lure of ogling the pair's overgrown melons would surely make him agree instantly. Aqua…would probably throw a fit, though. Any archpriestess powerful and fanatical enough to call herself a goddess might recognize her true nature and try to exorcize Wiz on the spot. But maybe they could keep her distracted enough not to ask questions… "We were planning to take the next carriage, but if she can Teleport us there we can pay your way."
"Oh! Of course, I'll ask her!" Yunyun exclaimed, a happy bounce entering her steps.
The pair entered a cobbler's shop, not that Megumin needed anything right now except another replacement for her hat. She was starting to think she might have to buy in bulk.
"I hope I can find something that matches this bracelet…" Yunyun muttered, eying a pair of black leather boots with several belts going up the outside critically. "These have been getting tight lately." Megumin gave her a side eye, but for once said nothing. Probably her rival's feet swelling from handling extra weight she thought uncharitably, glancing at the likely, in her mind, culprits.
Not to mention her best rival going jewelry shopping on her Arcanretia trip was a very different experience than her own hand to mouth time in the city.
"Those shiny buckles will attract monsters, mark my words," she muttered instead, and with a sigh Yunyun put the pair back with a nod of grudging agreement.
"It's s-strange seeing you without a hat, you've worn that same one it feels like forever," she noted, looking over another more practical pair also in black but with laces.
"Of course, once I became a woman grown how could I not have proper accessories?" Megumin scoffed. "It's bad enough I lost my eyepatch, and worse that my cloak was a casualty of war in the bargain. The destruction of my hat as well is too much for a soul to bear!"
"A-arue would probably make you another eyepatch," Yunyun reminded her. Which was both true, and also not the point. They were unique symbols of her status and might! They couldn't just be replaced with a quick letter and an apology!
The two left after Yunyun tried on her new footwear and left it behind the counter for later, making their way a few doors down to a clothier specialized for adventurers.
As Yunyun wasn't currently looking for anything, she followed behind Megumin much as her friend had her before.
Making her way to the back, the explosion mage prowled through the corner set aside for headgear.
A selection of pointy hats in various colors and levels of floppiness greeted her, next to some in other shapes.
One hat, tall, brimmed, and almost cylindrical with a stylized golden 'I' proudly displayed on the front, held pride of place over the sale counter, mounted like a trophy.
Megumin stared for a long moment, wondering where that had come from, until a cough from the clerk brought her back to her senses. Only to realize that next to it was an outfit that could only be called battle lingerie. Flushing at the thought of wearing…that! Never mind in battle, even in public, she wasn't Darkness! Her gaze snapped to the grinning teen manning the counter. Who wiggled his black eyebrows in return and said, "I can get you a discount if you're interested!"
Glaring her crimson best at the insolent fool, which did make his smile slip she was pleased to see, Megumin huffed and turned pointedly away.
There was no helping it, none of the headwear here had that certain something. In no way connected to embarrassing herself, Megumin found her rival idling by the door a few minutes later while wearing a newly purchased and distressingly plain black witch's hat. A hastily tied sack of red cloth held some yellow scraps, and her heart a determination to resurrect her old hat as nearly as she could.
"I'm done here if you are," she said to Yunyun.
"There's a pastry c-cart that Rin always likes," her rival suggested, and for lack of any better idea on Megumin's part the pair went there next.
The sight and smell of freshly baked buttery crusts greeted them as they joined the line, which true to its reputation was both fairly long but also moving quickly.
Soon the pair had a pie each. Yunyun's seashell shaped, though it was doubtful the baker had ever seen the sea he'd done his best, and the other a snail shell. Which if he was lucky he hadn't seen either, since they were beachball sized and carnivorous. The contents were the same, a mix of fried vegetables and river fish stewed in thick broth.
"An excellent choice," Megumin allowed after devouring hers, licking the last crumbs from her fingers. "But I shall go pack, I think. And see if I can make this poor excuse for a hat passable today."
"S-sure. Meet you for lunch tomorrow?"
"Certainly, you know where my room is?"
Yunyun certainly did, and so they went their separate ways.
—
Yunyun hurried back to her home and shop after picking up her previous purchase, finding Wiz in the middle of unboxing… something. Now somewhat worried, she walked up to peek over her shoulder.
"Oh, welcome back dear. These just arrived, what do you think?" Her newly adoptive mother beamed, holding up…socks?
"What do they do?" she asked suspiciously.
"They're Zephyr socks! Here, try a pair on!"
"But w-what do they do?" The younger wizard asked again, taking a pair gingerly.
"They absorb water and dry your feet! Perfect for a long hike in the wilderness!"
Intrigued, Yunyun turned them over in her hands, then took them into the kitchen. There she placed them on the counter and poured some water over them. Sure enough, the socks eagerly absorbed it, still feeling dry to the touch. "Huh! They really do!" She called back to Wiz with some surprise. Putting a little more on, the socks absorbed that too. Though it might be her imagination, they seemed to have swollen a bit. Once more, she stepped back and held the pitcher out at arm's length, then poured on just a bit more…
With a wet 'squelch' the socks burst, releasing all the water and their innards at once in a fishy smelling, slimy mess over the counter.
"I t-think there's a problem," she hesitantly called into the store.
As Wiz walked in, still holding a pair, Yunyun said, "That's w-what happened when I poured a cup's worth of water on them. Did you just buy samples?" she asked with more hope than expectation.
"Oh…no, I got a better deal if I bought in bulk up front…" she sighed, looking at the pair in her hands forlornly. "I suppose they'd be fine as long as they didn't get too wet…"
"It gets humid here in the summer," Yunyun reminded her, and Wiz winced. The idea of a drawer full of these, absorbing water for days or weeks from the air, and then…
The pair looked at the counter, and its puddle of slime with the tattered toes and ankles sadly floating in the middle as it dribbled off the edge.
"You probably should've tested them in the sink," Wiz noted. Yunyun could only shrug in agreement.
After some cleanup, plus boxing up the rest of the order and placing it out back where it wouldn't deluge the storeroom with reeking slime eventually, the two had tea at the front counter while the kitchen aired out.
"I talked to Megumin today, her party is going to Arcanretia for three days," Yunyun began, blowing on her mug. "She was saying we should go with them. If you provided the Teleport, they would pay for the stay."
Wiz took on a thoughtful look. "I haven't been for a while, besides picking you up. That would be lovely with the store closed. Teleport can only take four people though, surely none of them would want to stay behind?"
The germ of an idea was forming in Yunyun's mind after witnessing the latest purchase, so she replied, "Actually…I was thinking I might. I was just there for several days after all. And I can watch the shop while you're gone. I'm sure Rin and my party will do a quest or two."
Wiz looked uncertain, so Yunyun pushed on. "It would only be for three days or so. I'd be fine, I was in Arcanretia almost as long."
"That's true… Who else would stay behind though? I'd hate to force someone to miss out."
"I could donate some mana so you could teleport twice," Yunyun pointed out. "Or one of them could."
"I suppose that works," Wiz agreed reluctantly. Looking concerned, she said "Are you sure you don't want to come? Teleporting in two waves means you still could."
Yunyun shook her head. "I've seen Arcanretia, and I'd like to spend some time with my party. With everything that's happened lately I haven't been able to go with them as much."
"If you insist… Well, It sounds like our plans for the week are made! This should be lovely, it's been months since I had a proper vacation!"
—
The next morning, Yunyun finished her audit. The damage it did to her patience, to say nothing of her sanity, had taken its toll during the course of her accounting project. Even before the grim reading it made by itself.
Yunyun looked up from her ledger, propping her chin on one hand and leaving a smudge of ink on one cheek, tired of glumly staring down at the damning picture the pages showed.
She had always loved puzzles, but this had been the most frustrating one she'd ever done. And that included the time Nerimaki switched out some of the pieces to one she was still working on. Which wasn't a bad comparison, really. Too much was probably missing to ever get the whole sad story.
But still, despite running tax, rent, and guild fee free. Despite Wiz semi-regularly doing quests off the books for the guild. Despite even apparently looting the Devil King himself of a significant amount of treasure. Somehow, all the lich had to show for it was a business that by all rights should've gone bankrupt years ago.
For one shining moment, she imagined starting over with a sensible set of offerings on the shelves, after dragging the whole wretched mess of current so-called inventory into the back lot and setting it ablaze as an offering to Eris. Possibly with sausages smoking above the bonfire for a victory feast celebrating vanquishing a heresy against commerce. Eris wouldn't begrudge her that, even if she planned to turn to the dark later? Right?
She hastily pushed the little fantasy away. If nothing else, some of the concoctions would probably poison the neighborhood for generations if she carelessly disposed of them. Plus, as questionable as most of the magic tools were, some were undeniably powerful. Releasing that stored magic all at once might rival anything Megumin accomplished.
The sad, rotten truth was that if that much coin and that many advantages couldn't save a business run by Wiz, nothing could. While her beloved adoptive mother was the finest wizard she ever met, in a lifetime of being surrounded by amazing wizards, she was an affront to the title of businesswoman. Yunyun could only assume that one of her party mates handled the logistics during her adventurer days, unless there was a lot more poverty and near starvation from awful purchases going on than Wiz's stories suggested.
But if more cash wouldn't work, the only way to solve the problem was to wrest the purse strings from the lich's cold dead hands before it was too late. The idea of even raising the possibility with Wiz made Yunyun want to choke up. She could vividly imagine the look of shock and hurt on her face at what she was sure to see as a betrayal and attempt to steal her dream and happy retirement from her.
Yunyun looked back at her ledger, and could all too easily imagine the same look on her face in the near future. As the tax office sooner or later lost patience and moved to enforce back taxes or repossess the property. Or the guild decided a decade fee free was enough. Or one of the creditors finally called in a debt. And there was nothing to pay any of them with except the latest batch of glow in the dark toothbrushes…
Her forehead slipped to the countertop with a clunk. Life was so much simpler when making a living during a tight month just meant killing a few extra monsters.
No wonder nobody ever tried to take the chiefship away from her family.
A chirp from what she sometimes thought was the only useful magic tool in the shop told her it was almost time to meet up with Megumin, and now was as good a time as any to start turning things around. Telling that to herself again, as firmly as she could, Yunyun let herself out and put her plan into motion.
On the way back from a trip outside the walls that involved a picnic she enjoyed and an explosion she could do without, Yunyun took a detour through a couple of her quarry's usual haunts, but came up empty. But it turned out luck was with her, as she pushed through the doors of the guild she saw Dust alone at a table.
She slid into the bench beside him and whispered, "If y-you go by tonight, tell Lolisa I need to talk to her. Anytime a-after Erisday next and that Fruitday is fine."
Dust coughed awkwardly. "I don't actually have any money to go visit," He muttered back. "They cut me off of paying later."
Huffing annoyance, Yunyun told herself it was for a good cause and slipped him the fee, trying not to feel dirty at funding someone's habit.
"Your will is my command, milady," Dust replied in a courtly accent so at odds with his usual persona her head whipped over in shock to find him smirking at her.
"Just g-go," she grumbled, leaving the swordsman who's night had just gotten much better to continue on her way.
—
Three days later found Lolisa of the Axel succubus flock flitting across the starry sky of her home.
She wasn't easily flustered. You couldn't be when your next meal depended on fulfilling people's deepest fantasies, whatever they might be. But tonight was an exception. There were rules to this sort of thing, succubi didn't just walk in through the front door! They took pride in entering and leaving without being seen!
Wearing her usual 'on duty' uniform, bitter experience having taught her that flying in a dress was nothing but frustration, she landed on the darkened front porch of the least successful magic shop in the county and tried not to grumble at the indignity.
Her…maybe a client was wearing nightclothes as she let her in and quickly closed up behind her. Which was a little more to her experience, but still kind of strange.
"T-thanks for coming, Lolisa," Yunyun said, leading her back to the kitchen table set with mugs of warm broth. The shopkeeper seemed to be out, with her finely tuned hearing sensing nothing other than them and the creaks of the floorboards as they walked. Waiting until her guest sat, the wizard took the other chair and looked down at her hands fidgeting in her lap. "I-I need to call in that favor. From before."
Well she hardly ever serviced women, but lust was lust so she could still make it work. After sipping from her mug, Lolisa nodded. "Sure, who do you have in mind?" She couldn't help being curious who Yunyun had her eye on. Dust was very handsome, if he kept his mouth shut, and might be a fun fantasy fling. But Taylor had that clean cut, reliable, poster boy look to him. Probably boring, and not her taste at all, but a shy, well bred girl might go for him…
"I'd like to meet Beth," Yunyun said softly, glancing up at her briefly before looking away.
That brought Lolisa up short. She hadn't pegged her now definitely a client as being into women at all, much less demon women! Definitely spicier than she expected! And good for a laugh later, she'd have to tease her boss that she hooked yet another admirer. Though now that she thought about it, she doubted Yunyun had ever seen Beth, so how would she know…Well, none of her business!
"Can do! Let's go upstairs and we can start right now. It's just us, right?" Nodding, Yunyun led the way to her room, revealing a cutely decorated though functional space, her gear racked next to a lacquered wardrobe and some shallow storage boxes visible under the neatly made bed. Lolisa approved, someone from a family like hers could've lived like, well not quite a princess, but definitely a 'proper' lady if she wanted.
"Now lay back, close your eyes, and try to relax. I can use a sleep spell if I have to, but it works better if you're asleep naturally."
"O-ok…" Yunyun said questioningly, arranging herself on the bed and closing her eyes. "You can do Telepathy? That's a really high level spell."
"Not really. Our dream service does touch the mind of course, but we can't do it over a long distance like….
Yunyun's eyes snapped back open, fixing on her. "Dream service?"
"Well sure, you wanted a dream with Beth, right? You've got good taste, she's popular with…"
"NO! I don't want a sex dream with your boss, I want to talk to her!" Yunyun snapped, catapulting upright to glare at her demonic guest with baleful crimson fury and cheeks flushed as red as her eyes.
Treating her to the incredibly rare sight of a mortally embarrassed succubus, wings drooped and curled in around her scantily clad body as she looked anywhere but at her client. There was an awkward silence, finally broken by a hesitant, delicate cough.
"Sure…I can do that too…" Lolisa said in a tiny voice.