Chapter 3: Between Fear and Hope

The next few days passed in a blur for Sarah. She felt like she was floating through life, disconnected from everything around her. It was like she was watching herself from the outside, moving through the motions but never really there. She didn't talk much. She didn't eat. And she certainly didn't sleep.

John B noticed. Of course, he did. He had spent every night holding her as she tossed and turned, watching as the weight of everything they'd been through bore down on her. But this was different. This was something he couldn't fix with a plan or a treasure map. It wasn't just about surviving anymore. It was about deciding whether they could actually raise a child—whether they even wanted to.

That was the question that loomed over both of them, unspoken but ever-present.

It had been a few days since the night Sarah had told him, but neither of them had really talked about it. They were stuck in limbo, each waiting for the other to bring it up. But today, John B knew they couldn't avoid it anymore.

He found Sarah sitting on the porch of the Chateau. , staring out at the yard, her knees pulled up to her chest. Her eyes were hollow, and her skin was paler than usual. She looked fragile, like she might break at any moment.

John B sat down next to her, the wooden steps creaking beneath his weight. He didn't say anything at first, just stared out at the trees with her, trying to find the right words.

Finally, he spoke. "We need to talk about it."

Sarah didn't respond right away, her gaze still fixed on the horizon. She knew what he meant, but she wasn't ready. She wasn't sure she would ever be ready to have this conversation. But he was right. They couldn't avoid it forever.

"Yeah," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I know."

John B shifted, turning slightly to face her. "I… I don't know what to do, Sarah. I've been thinking about it for days, and I still don't know. But we can't keep pretending it's not happening."

Sarah nodded slowly, though her eyes remained distant. "I know. I just… I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can be a parent."

The words hung in the air between them, heavy and suffocating. John B felt his chest tighten as he looked at her. He wasn't sure what he expected her to say, but hearing it out loud hit him harder than he thought it would.

"I'm scared, John B," Sarah continued, her voice trembling. "I've never had a real parent. My dad was… well, you know. And my mom? She wasn't really around. I don't even know what it's supposed to look like. How am I supposed to raise a baby when I've never had anyone to show me how?"

John B's throat tightened, and he reached out, taking her hand in his. He understood what she was saying because he felt the same way. His dad had been more obsessed with treasure hunts than with raising him, and now he was gone. John B had spent most of his life fending for himself. He didn't know the first thing about being a parent either.

"I get it," he said softly. "I don't know how to be a dad either. And… we're broke. We don't have money, we don't have jobs. Hell, we don't even know where we're gonna live long-term."

Sarah nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "We're 17, John B. We can barely take care of ourselves, let alone a baby. How are we supposed to do this?"

John B's heart ached as he watched her struggle. He didn't have the answers. He didn't know what they were supposed to do. But he did know one thing—they had each other. And as terrifying as it all was, they weren't alone.

"Look, I don't have all the answers," he admitted. "But… we have our little Pogue family. We have each other. And that's something, right? I mean, we didn't have great parents, but maybe that's exactly why we can do this. We know what not to do."

Sarah shook her head, her tears spilling over. "But what if I'm like my dad? What if I'm just as bad as him? I'm already thinking about not wanting this baby. What kind of person does that make me?"

John B squeezed her hand, his own tears threatening to fall. He felt the weight of her words, but a part of him, deep down, was scared too. If Sarah didn't want the baby, what did that mean for him? Did he have a choice? Would he lose his child before he even got the chance to hold them? He tried not to let those thoughts overwhelm him, but they stuck, lingering at the back of his mind.

"It makes you human, Sarah. You've been through so much… and it's okay to be scared. But you're not your dad. You're not him. And you'd never do the things he did."

Sarah sniffed, wiping her eyes as she looked down at her lap. "But what if we can't do it? What if we screw up?"

John B's voice softened. "We're going to screw up. Probably a lot. But we're not in this alone. We've got Kiara, JJ, Pope, Cleo… we've got a family. And we've got each other. We'll figure it out."

They sat in silence for a while, both of them trying to process the weight of the decision in front of them. Neither of them had planned for this. They didn't know if they were ready. But at least they were talking about it now.

Finally, Sarah spoke again. "I made an appointment."

John B looked at her, confused. "An appointment?"

Sarah nodded, biting her lip. "At a clinic. To… you know, talk about our options. It's in a couple of days."

John B's heart sank as he realised what she was saying. The clinic. They were really considering this. He felt like the ground was slipping out from under him. He didn't want to lose their baby. But could he say that out loud? Could he ask her to keep something when she was clearly terrified? "Do you… do you think that's what you want to do?"

"I don't know," Sarah admitted, her voice cracking. "I don't think I can handle anything else right now, John B. I feel like I'm drowning."

John B's chest tightened. He was scared too, but what terrified him most was the idea that this decision might be out of his hands. He had to be strong for her. But the fear of losing both Sarah and the baby gnawed at him. He didn't know what the right decision was either. He was scared, just like she was.

But one thing he knew for sure—he couldn't let her drown.

"Let's just… take it one day at a time," he said gently. "We don't have to decide anything right now."

Sarah nodded, though she still looked uncertain. "Okay. One day at a time."

The next day, John B and Sarah were driving in the Twinkie on their way to the clinic. The silence between them was heavy, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Sarah stared out the window, her fingers twisting nervously in her lap.

Halfway there, she suddenly blurted out, "Pull over."

John B glanced at her, confused. "What?"

"Pull over, John B. Now," she repeated, her voice panicked.

He quickly pulled the van to the side of the road, and before he could even ask what was wrong, Sarah had jumped out, pacing along the grass.

"I can't do this," she said, her voice shaking, rising in volume with every word. "I'm a terrible person. I'm a terrible mother already. I don't even want this baby. What kind of parent does that make me?"

Her voice was frantic now, her emotions spiralling out of control as she tried to catch her breath. The enormity of everything had finally crashed down on her, and John B could see it—her chest rising and falling too quickly, her hands trembling as she spoke.

John B got out of the van, rushing over to her. "Sarah, stop. You're not a terrible person. You're just scared. We both are."

Sarah turned to him, her eyes wide with fear. "But what if I'm worse than my dad? What if I'm just like him?"

John B shook his head, stepping closer to her. "You're not your dad, Sarah. You never could be. We can do this. We can be the parents we never had."

Sarah stared at him, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. "But we're 17, John B. We're broke. We can barely take care of ourselves."

"I know," John B said, his voice steady. "But we have each other. And we have love. That's more than a lot of people start with."

Sarah bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes again. "I don't know…"

John B stepped forward, taking her hands in his. "Sarah, I know this feels impossible right now. I'm scared too. I don't know how we're going to do this, but I know that we can. I know we're young and broke, and maybe we don't have everything figured out. But we have love. We have each other. That's got to count for something, right?"

Sarah stared at him, her heart racing as she took in his words. He was scared, just like she was, but he was standing there, holding her hands, telling her they could do it. Telling her they could be something better than what they had. Her tears fell, but there was something else too—something that felt like hope, fragile but real.

The next morning, John B woke to the soft light of dawn filtering through the windows of the Chateau. . The air was cool and still, a stark contrast to the tension that had hung over them the day before. It felt like the world outside was holding its breath, waiting for something to shift.

He padded quietly out to the yard, searching for Sarah. He wasn't surprised to find her there, sitting on the porch steps, watching the sunrise. She hadn't been sleeping well for weeks, and he knew the weight of everything they were going through was taking its toll on her.

But this morning, something was different.

Without saying a word, he walked over and sat behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. She leaned back into him, her body relaxing against his.

"Couldn't sleep again?" John B murmured, his voice soft in the quiet morning.

Sarah shook her head, but there was something different in her expression—something lighter. "Actually, no," she said quietly. "Last night was the first time in months I didn't have a nightmare."

John B rested his chin on her shoulder, his arms still wrapped around her. "That's good," he whispered. "You needed it."

As they watched the sunrise together, John B couldn't help but think about how the light breaking over the horizon felt like a new beginning. The darkness they'd been living in was lifting, even if only slightly. The world still felt uncertain, but this moment was theirs. Just like the sunrise, they were starting something new.

For the first time in days, hope began to flicker inside him—fragile, but real. Maybe this wasn't the end of everything. Maybe, just maybe, this could be the beginning of something good.

Sarah turned slightly in his arms, looking up at him with a small smile. "I dreamt about us… about the baby."

John B's heart skipped a beat at her words, his eyes searching hers. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice soft but steady. "I think… I want this baby, John B. I want our family."

John B felt his chest tighten, a mix of fear and hope swirling inside him. He had spent days trying to be strong for her, trying to hold it together. But hearing her say those words—hearing her say that she wanted this baby, their baby—it filled him with something he hadn't let himself feel yet.

Hope.

He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Till death do us part," he whispered against her mouth.

Sarah smiled, her eyes shining with tears that weren't from sadness this time. She leaned into him, letting herself feel the warmth of his love and the possibility of a future together—a future they hadn't expected, but one they were ready to face.

Later that afternoon, Sarah and John B gathered the group at the Chateau. . JJ, Kiara, Pope, and Cleo all sat around the kitchen table, their faces a mix of curiosity and concern. The air felt thick with anticipation, as if they could sense that something big was about to be said.

John B stood at the head of the table, his hand tightly clasping Sarah's. He looked around at his friends, the people who had become his family, and took a deep breath.

"We have something to tell you guys," he started, his voice steady but nervous. "Sarah and I… we're having a baby."

There was a beat of stunned silence. JJ blinked, his eyes wide as if he hadn't quite processed the words. Pope's face tightened in thought, already calculating the implications. Kiara's hand flew to her mouth, her gaze flicking between Sarah and John B, while Cleo just leaned back in her chair, eyebrows raised.

JJ was the first to break the silence. He let out a low whistle, his signature grin forming on his lips. "Holy shit," he muttered, shaking his head. "You guys don't do anything halfway, do you?"

Kiara's eyes filled with concern as she reached across the table, taking Sarah's hand. "Are you serious?" she whispered, her voice soft but heavy with emotion. "Sarah, are you okay?"

Sarah nodded, her heart racing as she watched the group process the news. "Yeah. It's not exactly… planned."

Pope leaned forward, his brow furrowed in thought. "So what are you guys gonna do? I mean… how are you going to make this work?"

John B exchanged a glance with Sarah, who gave him a small nod. They had talked about this. They had decided together. And now, they had to trust that their friends would understand.

"That's where you guys come in," John B said, his voice steady despite the nerves he felt. "We need your help."

Before Pope could respond, JJ leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms with a grin. "Let me guess. There's a treasure involved, isn't there?"

John B couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. There's a treasure. My dad's journals… he was onto something big. The San José—a Spanish galleon. If we can find it, we'll be set."

Pope raised an eyebrow, ever the practical one. "A treasure hunt? Really? That's the plan?"

Cleo grinned wide, her excitement barely contained as she turned to Sarah. "Big up yuhself, mama! Blessings pon di new life." Her words were warm and genuine, and for the first time in a long time, Sarah felt a surge of relief. They weren't alone in this.

Kiara, meanwhile, hadn't let go of Sarah's hand. She blinked away the tears that had been threatening to fall, giving Sarah's hand a reassuring squeeze. "We've got you," she said softly, her voice filled with emotion. "Whatever happens, we're in this together."

John B felt a surge of gratitude wash over him as he looked around the table. This wasn't just a crazy plan or a shot in the dark anymore. This was their family. And no matter what happened next, they weren't facing it alone.

JJ leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms with his signature grin. "Well, hell, I'm in. I mean, I've got nothing better to do."

Pope sighed, but there was a hint of a smile on his face too. "We're in this together, right? Let's do it."

Cleo smirked. "I never could resist a good treasure hunt."

John B looked around at the group—his family—and felt a surge of gratitude and love. They were in this together. No matter what happened, they weren't alone.

And that was all that mattered.