Summary:

A wraith locks Dean in a sensory deprivation room, waiting for him to go mad and become dinner. In the meantime, an image of Cas keeps him company.

Set between 15x18 and the finale

Notes:

Prompts- hypnosis; sensory deprivation; "you're still alive in my head"

Prompts Used- sensory deprivation, "you're still alive in my head" (loosely used)

Chapter 4: Hallucination

Dean Winchester was going crazy.

At least, he thought he might be.

Some indeterminate time ago, the wraith he and Sam had been chasing had gotten the drop on him. They'd separated, each sitting on a potential victim, waiting for the monster to show his face.

Until, that is,heturned out to be ashe.

She's gotten the drop on him, posing as a pedestrian looking for her lost dog. Then she'd apparently dumped him in the crazy box she threw her victims into while marinating them for dinner.

He knew it had to be long past check in time, so Sam had to be out there looking for him. Problem was, Dean had zero idea of exactly how much time had passed. And that was due to the fact that he was in a small, five by five cell. The floor, walls and ceiling were all the same dim gray. There were no windows, only a dim light from som unidentifiable source. The only thing that looked different in the small room was the thin outline of a door. One without any handle on this side.

The scenery was pretty damn dull, but that wasn't the worst part. The worst thing was the absolutequiet. Dean kept listening, trying to find some small sound. The room must have been soundproofed, because he couldn't hear anything outside of his small cell. There wasn't even the sound of air moving through vents, though there must have been one somewhere.

It was when he started hearing sounds that he knew he was beginning to lose it.

They were small, at first. Scrapes, whispers, words he couldn't quite make out. Dean had jumped to his feet from his spot on the cold, gray floor, thinking Sam had come to rescue him or that his captor was bringing him something to eat or drink. But the noise would always fade back into the absolute silence.

Next were the flashes in the corner of his eyes. Shadows flitting in and out, gone every time he turned to look at him. Phantoms teasing at the edge of his vision.

And then...

"Hello Dean."

Green eyes snapped open. When had he closed them? It didn't matter. Nothing did, when he took in the form seated cross legged next to him.

"C-Cas?"

The hunter turned to take in the sight of the angel. Hope blossomed in his chest, and he cleared his dry, scratchy throat as he tried to get to his feet. "Cas, man...how?"

The angel smiled sadly. "I'm not really here, Dean. I think you know that."

"I..." he collapsed back against the wall, closing his eyes again. "Yeah. Yeah, I kinda figured. But way to kill a guy's hope anyway, man."

Dean wearily turned his head back towards Castiel. "I wish you were here, though. Every damn day."

"I know Dean. But I'm just a hallucination, brought on by sensory deprivation, thirst and hunger."

Blue. His eyes were still so damn blue, even as a memory. That mop of dark hair was just as messy as ever, and that tiny smile he only reserved for Dean crept at the corner of chapped lips.

"I miss you," he blurted out.

That smile grew, but it wasn't the full, gummy grin he knew the angel was capable of. Nor was it the sad smile that he had worn when he told Dean he loved him. This was a small, fragile thing.

"I'm sure that I miss you too. But I would be very unhappy to see you like this. You need to get out of here, Dean."

A dry laugh scratched at his throat. He let his head fall back against the wall, but refused to close his eyes. "Believe me, man, I've tried to get out of here. But Stabarella has this place locked down. If Sammy doesn't find me soon, I'm gonna be wraith chow."

Castiel frowned. Even as a hallucination, the angel didn't find Dean's attempt at humor amusing. "You mustn't give up, Dean. Samwillcome through. Or you'll fight her off when she comes for you. You'll find a way out. I believe in you."

"Well, that makes one of us."

They sat in silence for a few moments while Dean gathered his nerve. With slow movements, he inched his stiff body closer to his best friend's side, leaving only the barest of space between them. How he wished he could reach out, maybe lay his tired head on that beige covered shoulder. But he was also terrified that one touch would chase the illusion away.

"I know your not real, Cas, but I'm glad you're here."

He talked for awhile after that, just to keep the awful silence at bay. He regaled the angel with everything that had happened the last few months. Chuck taking everyone away. Jack becoming God and bringing them all back. Sam so relieved to have Eileen safe that he couldn't stop making googly eyes at her and rarely leaving her side.

"I make fun of him for it, but I'm happy for them," he admitted quietly. His energy was nearly gone, sleep trying to pull him under. But the thought of Cas being gone again when he woke up terrified him enough to keep him conscious. "I wish...I wish we coulda had that. I know you said it was the one thing you could never have, but you gotta know, man. You gotta know that you could have. It woulda been hard. I know I can be a total dick sometimes. But I would have tried."

He turned to face Castiel again. Dean's eyes were stinging as he asked, "how could you do that to me, Cas? How could you just drop that on me anddiewithout giving me a chance to say it back? To say anything back?"

Blue eyes shone back, reflecting his own unshed tears. "I would have kept those words to myself forever if it meant being able to stay with you, Dean. But it was the only way I could save you. You know that. And you never said anything either. How could I have known your feelings?"

The hunter wiped at the salty trail winding down his cheek. "I hated you, you know. For doing that. For sayin' that stuff and then just dying like that. For leaving me behind.

"'Cause the truth is, Cas, I love you too. And now...how do I live the rest of my damn life knowin' you loved me back, and never being able to do anything about it?"

Castiel was suddenly kneeling between Dean's outstretched legs, his face achingly close. "One day at a time, Dean Winchester. Survive this, and live your life. Apply for that garage job. Be the best man at Sam and Eileen's wedding. Babysit their kids and spoil them rotten. Do all of it, Dean. And every step of the way, I'll be here," he pointed to Dean's head, "and here," he whispered, moving his hand down to hover just above Dean's heart. "I'll always be with you, Dean."

The angel was leaning forward into Dean's space, and the hunter used the last bit of his strength to push off of the wall. He was close enough that he should have been able to feel Castiel's breath ghost against his lips.

Instead, he felt nothing.

The tears trickled down faster, and Dean bit back a sob.

"I need you, Cas. I can't-I can't do this without you."

"But Dean, you already are."

"Dean? Dean, can you hear me?"

The hunter's eyes fluttered open. "Cas?" A blurry face hovered above him, scrunched up in concern. No, the shape of it wasn't right. And when had he laid down? "S'mmy?"

"Thank God. Or Jack. Whatever, just- you had me worried there, man."

Sam helped him sit up and offered him a bottle of water. His first instinct was to gulp it all down, but he took slow sips instead. "What happened?"

Sam offered him some jerky, which Dean nibbled gratefully while his brother filled him in. It had taken him three days to figure out where the wraith was hiding, and he'd called Eileen in to help him take the damn thing down. She was currently out in the main part of the building (an old abandoned house with a bomb shelter that doubled as a cell). Apparently she hadn't wanted to overwhelm Dean when Sam had finally found him.

"That girl is way to smart for you, Sammy," he poked, giving his worried brother a grin. "Don't you dare let her go."

The younger Winchester smiled back, his relief evident when his shoulders relaxed marginally. "I don't plan on it.

"Now let's get out you out of here."

Sam helped him up, throwing Dean's arm over his shoulders to help carry his weight. It was a good thing, too. His legs were still a bit wobbly.

Eileen slipped under his other arm once they crossed the threshold. Whe she adjusted his weight, he cast a quick glance back into the empty room.

Goodbye, Cas.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Sam. Let's go home."