For Yoshiko, working at a restaurant so traditional that it wouldn't be out of place a century ago was... not exactly her dream job, but it was a decent gig that paid the bills and occasionally provided free meals in the form of leftover or surplus food. The fact that the cashier just so happened to be her childhood friend who she hadn't seen in years was just a bonus.
But after working here for so long, Yoshiko couldn't help but notice a certain... routine her coworkers always seemed to go through.
Hanamaru and Ruby always seemed to be very affectionate with each other, often sharing hugs and cheek kisses whenever they had a moment to themselves.
It wasn't as if Yoshiko was trying to peep on them. From her place in the kitchen, she just happened to have a prime view of the register where Hanamaru worked, which was usually where their cuddles and kisses tended to happen.
She'd never say she objected to it all, just that she didn't understand it. After all, how could a loveless creature such as a fallen angel know anything of affection or companionship? She and her coworkers were simply of two different worlds.
Even so, the fallen angel couldn't help but let slip a curious comment.
"I don't understand how you can do that all the time," remarked Yoshiko.
"Hmm? What do you mean, zura?"
"Being all touchy-feely with Ruby like that. And then the kisses too! I mean, I guess ones on the cheek are chaste enough, but the full-on mouth kisses should really be done in private."
"Eh? Yoshiko-chan, it's just a little yuri to get us through the day, zura. Everyone does it!"
"Well not me."
Hanamaru blinked at her before laughing innocently. "Oh that's a good joke zura."
"Huh? I'm not joking. I don't do yuri."
"...ZURA?!" With an incredulous shout, the brunette threw her abacus in the air, the analog calculator breaking apart and scattering beads everywhere. "That explains so much! No wonder you're always so insufferably chuuni, zura!"
"Hey!"
"Here! Do yuri with me, zura!" commanded Hanamaru.
"What? No way, Zuramaru!"
"Well how about Ruby-chan, zura?" asked Hanamaru, grabbing the passing redhead and presenting her. Ruby blinked in confusion but didn't object. "I know for a fact she wouldn't mind doing yuri with you, zura!"
"It's true," affirmed Ruby, quick on the uptake, "I'd be more than delighted to make you a woman."
Yoshiko paled. "That is way too much, way too fast!" she protested.
"So... no for now, but maybe later?" interpreted Ruby. She giggled mischievously. "I can work with that." She sauntered off, blowing a kiss Yoshiko's way that the blunette ducked to avoid.
Not one to let good yuri go to waste, Hanamaru caught Ruby's blown kiss and pressed it to her lips blissfully. "You really don't know what you're missing Yoshiko-chan, zura..."
"I plan on keeping it that way!" shot back the fallen angel.
"But Yoshiko-chan! It's good for you zura!" pleaded Hanamaru.
"Good for me?" Yoshiko scoffed. "With my luck it'd just give me the kissing disease! How can something that leads to mono be good for me?"
"I mean... good for your soul, zura!" Hanamaru suddenly took on an inexplicably angelic appearance, golden halo and everything.
"I am Yohane! I have no soul!" She posed proudly, eagerly awaiting for a cut-in of hell to appear behind her. When no such thing manifested, her disappointment was immeasurable and her day was ruined.
Hanamaru took a second to think over her approach. "Well... if kissing is out, then we can do yuri without kissing, zura! What do you say we have a cuddle, zura?"
"Still no."
"A hug?"
"Pass."
"Let's hold hands!"
"That's WAY too lewd!"
"Just one kiss!"
"You're back to square one!" exclaimed the blunette.
"Ah, you're right, zura. Then... just one love bite?"
And so the day continued, Hanamaru continually trying to convince Yoshiko to try yuri with her.
"Look Zuramaru. How long are you prepared to keep this up?"
Click
Yoshiko looked down to see her wrist bound to the brunette's with handcuffs. She looked back up into Hanamaru's insistently pleading gaze.
She sighed. "...fine."
Hanamaru's eyes lit up with anticipation. "I promise this will make your day so much better, zura!" exclaimed the brunette. She suddenly had a thought. "Ah. I should moisturize first, zura." She reached into a pocket and withdrew a tube of chapstick, quickly running it across her lips before depositing the tube into the trash.
"Are you ready, zura?"
Yoshiko couldn't help but let out a noise of disapproval. "You seem way too eager to do this," she grumbled.
Hanamaru tilted her head. "Would you rather kiss Ruby-chan, zura?"
The blunette sighed. "I'd rather not bother her if I don't need to."
"It's no bother at all," said a new voice.
Yoshiko turned to see Ruby, the redhead smiling expectantly at her with encouraging eyes. "You are both way too eager to kiss me," she said.
"Yes," agreed Ruby, "Yes we are. So, Yoshiko-chan, shall we make sweet, sweet yuri together?" She closed her eyes and puckered her lips, leaning in just enough to let the blunette close the distance when she wanted.
Yoshiko sighed. Everyone liked to feel wanted, but being desired was another thing altogether. "Do I really...?" she murmured, contemplating the next several seconds of her life.
A small jangle of the handcuffs confirmed to her that yes, she did really.
Letting out a deep breath to steady her nerves, Yoshiko leaned in, slowly...
Slowly...
Cautiously...
Carefully...
...and she gently pressed her lips against Ruby's, pulling away a fraction of a second later.
Her face was completely neutral as she contemplated the kiss, Hanamaru staring at her in delight with twinkling eyes.
"How was it, zura?"
"I believe," began Yoshiko, "That this yuri business you keep going on about..." She paused to build up tension, then dramatically flipped her hair. "Simply isn't fit for a fallen angel such as I."
Immediately Hanamaru's face fell, the very picture of disappointment. "Zura..." she mumbled dejectedly.
"There, there, Hanamaru-chan," consoled Ruby as she leaned in to hug her. "It's okay. How about some light yuri to cheer you up?"
The brunette quietly accepted, the redhead leading her away to a place where they could cuddle in peace.
For a while, all was silent, the only sound coming from a tumbleweed as it blew past in the background. But then suddenly-
"I NEED MORE!" cried Yoshiko.
She dove headfirst into the garbage bin to retrieve Hanamaru's discarded chapstick, scattering trash everywhere. But the blunette paid the mess no heed as she became enraptured in the sensation of chapstick on her lips, the tool imparting a minuscule amount of yuri as she imagined she was kissing Hanamaru. Though minimal and underwhelming, it was enough to mollify the blunette... for now.
"That kiss was heavenly..." breathed Yoshiko. "It's as if this fallen angel was bequeathed a new set of divine wings..."
For a while, all she did was bask in the afterglow of yuri, unspeakable pleasure coursing through her veins. But it wasn't long until the effect wore off and she came down from her high, the self-proclaimed fallen angel dropping right back to Earth.
Panting heavily, Yoshiko looked at the chapstick in her hands with shame, but pocketed it regardless as she hurriedly cleaned up her mess.
"I'm fine. I'm totally fine," she muttered to herself, in the way that all 'totally fine' people did. "So maybe I found out that true happiness really does exist. So what? I've gone just fine without, and I'll continue to get along just fine without. I just... need one more hit. Just one, then I'm over it for good," she decided. She paused. "Just not from Zuramaru. If she knew, she'd never let me live it down..."
As she slunk back to the kitchen, Yoshiko gave a wide berth to the checkout counter where Hanamaru was sadly yet swiftly calculating someone's bill with her reassembled abacus. Gulping nervously, Yoshiko instead sought out her other friend, who would hopefully be less judgmental and willing to discreetly deal her some yuri.
She found the redhead in the stockroom.
"Ruby, good timing!" she called as she awkwardly tried to hide her desperation for skinship. "Can you hand me that bag of rice?"
"This one? Sure." Ruby grabbed the bag and handed it over, the blunette awaiting with ardent want.
But as she went to take the rice with a subtle attempt at caressing Ruby's hands, she got an unfortunate surprise. "Why are you wearing heavy gloves?" asked Yoshiko, disappointment on her face.
"Hanamaru-chan and I agreed that if you don't like yuri, you shouldn't be forced to endure it," explained Ruby. "And we all know hand-holding is one of the lewdest yuri activities."
"Ah... yeah," replied Yoshiko, her voice colored with crushing disappointment. "Thanks..."
Ruby nodded. "You're welcome. Hanamaru-chan and I promise that, no matter what, neither of us will expose you to even a sliver of yuri." She stood tall as she proudly declared, "There will be no accidental hand-holding, no wayward blown kisses, and not a word of affection that could be construed as non-platonic. All this because you are our friend and we care about you."
"I'm... really feeling the love..." trailed the fallen angel.
"The platonic love," stressed Ruby.
So. Ruby was out. Hanamaru was out. And no one else was even an option for Yoshiko.
"Ugh! What do I have to do to get some yuri around here?! Get it vicariously by peeping on other girls?!" snapped the blunette sarcastically.
"Hey look! A broom closet!" announced an excited ginger as she scampered over to said closet. She turned around to face her companions. "Let's play seven minutes in heaven!"
"We are NOT doing that in public!" exclaimed her redheaded companion, "Not after what happened the last three times!"
The ginger opened the closet door and peered inside. "Don't worry, the bucket's empty this time!" she reported. "And the door's already open, so...?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"Good enough for me!" remarked their brunette third as she ushered the redhead inside.
"Wha-! Chika-chan, You-chan!" protested Riko, "Slow down!"
"No can do! Zenzoku zenshin... Yousoro~!"
The door slammed shut on the trio. Yoshiko could only look on in envy.
"...vicariously it is," she muttered.
Unfortunately, she soon realized that being next to yuri was nowhere near as good as experiencing it. She walked away from the broom closet in greater need than before.
Yoshiko was still crying at her misfortune when she got home that night, having been unable to experience even the slightest hint of yuri from either of her friends. Kissing herself in the mirror didn't help. Nor did cuddling up to a dakimakura of a scantily clad demon girl. And the less said about her ill-advised attempt to motorboat her titty mousepad the better.
Truly, it seemed as if the only way Yoshiko could enjoy yuri would be in her dreams…
"Ruby," entreated the dark-winged blunette, extending a hand to her companion. "Join with me, and let us make sweet, sweet yuri together."
"But Yohane, we can't!" declared Ganbaruby, Seraphim of Love and Peace. The white-winged redhead swooned in overdramatic anguish, clutching her pink angel scepter tightly. "If Maru-chan finds out, she'll never let you hear the end of it!"
"Let me worry about Zuramaru," declared Yohane confidently. She stepped closer to the seraphim, within dancing distance, if only the redhead would merely reach out. "After everything we've been through, after everything we've overcome together, don't we deserve happiness in this unstable world?"
"Oh Yohane!"
"Take my hand, Ruby," purred Yohane seductively. "Take my hand so we may truly visit heaven together."
Ganbaruby, so moved by Yohane's persuasive charm and the emotional depth of her pathos, loosed a longing sigh, blissful and so ardently pure. She reached out to hold Yohane's hand, time slowing to a crawl as the distance between them narrowed.
This was it. A perfect denouement to a celestial revue, the moment where an intermezzo segued into an endless song cycle. Eternity was just a faint brushing of fingertips away.
Nothing could possibly ruin this moment.
"Yoshiko-chan!" declared Hanamaru as she burst through the door.
"Zuramaru!" yelped the fallen angel as she jumped back in shock.
"Pigi!" shrieked Ganbaruby. She too flinched away.
A wide grin beamed on Hanamaru's face. "Wake up call for a fallen angel zura!" declared the brunette. In one hand she held up a bird. "Crane!" In the other she held up a vegetable. "Eggplant!" The ground behind her began rumbling as an entire mountain exploded up from the earth. "Awaken zura!"
Yoshiko's eyes exploded open, a gasp of dismay leaving her as she felt tears of frustration threatening to spill from her eyes. "But… I was so close…!"
Heaving a deep breath, she swung out of bed, her expression now a mask of utmost determination. "I. Need. Yuri." She took a breath. "Preferably without Zuramaru finding out."
With that, the yuri fiend threw on her clothes and set off into the night to get her fix.
"RUBY!" exclaimed Yoshiko as she broke into the redhead's room.
"PIGI!" shrieked Ruby as she was so rudely awoken. "What's going on?!"
Yoshiko crossed and held Ruby's shoulders, looking deeply into her eyes. "Ruby... I need you. To do more yuri with me."
Ruby blinked. "You... woke me up for yuri? I thought you said you didn't like it?"
"I lied. I loved it and I need more!"
Despite her tiredness, Ruby giggled. "Okay. I enjoyed it too."
"Oh thank satan. I don't know what I would've done if you'd said no," sighed Yoshiko in relief. "But you can't tell anyone! Okay? Especially Zuramaru!"
Ruby tilted her head curiously, then donned a bright smile. "I won't say a word," she promised.
And Yoshiko put on a wide, blissful grin. "Alright then... Now all that matters is that it's just you... and me..." She leaned in, eyes on the verge of closure. "And nobody-"
"Yoshiko-chan?"
"Zuramaru!" shrieked Yoshiko, leaping up off the bed. "What are you doing here?!"
"I always come over at 4AM to get some early morning cuddles with Ruby-chan. What are you doing here, zura?"
The blood drained from Yoshiko's face as she flailed for an excuse. "I… forgot my, that is, I needed to borrow-"
But Hanamaru was relentless. "And why is Ruby-chan awake, zura?"
"W-Well, it would've been rude if I hadn't-"
"And why is she holding your bra, zura?"
"That's just because… say what?!" She whirled to Ruby, who held the bra up like a trophy and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "How did you get that through my shirt?!"
"And why do you look so nervous? And why are you so sweaty? And why do you look so thirsty, zura?"
For several seconds, Yoshiko stared at her in silence, her mind scrambling on overdrive to come up with a plausible explanation for why she'd broken into someone else's house at such an outrageously early hour. As neurons fired off in her brain, she took in a breath, ready to concoct a wild tale of high schooler assassin-waitresses, a French villainess's romance, and a witch from Mercury.
Then Ruby kissed her square on the lips. And as promised, she didn't say a word.
With a small gasp of understanding, Hanamaru leaned forward, her face wearing the smuggest look Yoshiko had ever seen on anyone's face.
"Z...Zuramaru! D-Don't misunderstand here! That's not why I came over so early!" protested the blunette.
But Hanamaru wasn't buying it. "...you like yuri, zura," she stated.
"I… I…!" Yoshiko trembled, her will to resist the redheaded temptress crumbling. Then Ruby ran a teasing finger down her spine. "Yes!" she cried, "Yes I do! I love yuri!" She pounced on Ruby then, pushing her down to the bed as they locked lips furiously.
"I knew it all along, zura," crowed Hanamaru as she watched them kiss. "No one is immune to the allure of yuri, zura. It's the future, and the future is lesbians, zura!"
She was promptly ignored as Ruby and Yoshiko continued their yuri-making. Clothes began to fly and Hanamaru suddenly found herself concerned.
"Um, Yoshiko-chan? How much yuri are you planning on doing right now?" The answer was Ruby's pajama top to her face. "Yoshiko-chan, stop zura! If you do too much yuri at once, something horrible will happen!"
Yoshiko pulled away briefly to snap at her. "What, am I gonna explode?" The blunette yelped as Ruby spanked her, before pulling her in for another kiss.
"No, you'll incur the wrath of Dia-san!"
A loud BOOM! sounded out as an older sister smashed through the wall. "YOSHIKO-SAN!"
"And then you'll explode!"
As she reached climax, the vengeful older sister closed in, and Yoshiko went from heaven to hell in an instant.
So falleth the angel.
As the Happy Party Ambulance drove her to the hospital, Mari chortled away from the front.
"Yeah, I remember my first yuri..."
~END~