A/N: Hey everyone, I'm back with another update! I actually planned on posting this chapter next week (since it wasn't quite finished), but I found some extra time to finalize it and wanted to get it out to you all, especially after how tough the last chapter was. I know a lot of you were heartbroken by Alison's actions, and I've already seen some comments where people are frustrated or even hating on her. I just wanted to address that briefly, I totally get where those feelings are coming from, but I'm really trying to keep the characters and their journeys as realistic as possible. Because sometimes in real life, relationships, especially ones as complicated as Emily and Alison's, aren't always straightforward or easy. It's rarely a case of two people falling in love and having everything work out perfectly. There's confusion, doubt, pain, and sometimes, really tough decisions that lead you down a path you don't expect.
Anyway let's start with the next chapter. Enjoy!
The last three weeks had passed in a blur for Emily. Every day had blended into the next, leaving her feeling like she was floating just outside of her own life.
The ache in her chest, the anger that simmered beneath the surface, it had all been too much. She hated Alison, and the hate was so unbearable that it felt like it was consuming her from the inside out.
And in those rare moments of silence, when she was alone with her thoughts, it was as if the walls were closing in, suffocating her. Since the day of Alison's wedding, Emily had done everything to keep herself busy.
She filled her time with anything that could numb the pain, anything that would distract her. She went out to bars almost every night, drowning herself in alcohol until the fog in her mind was so thick, she could barely remember her own name.
The brunette spent her days jogging through the streets of Rosewood, pushing her body to the brink of exhaustion, hoping that the physical pain could somehow replace the emotional one.
But nothing worked.
The pool had become her escape. She would spend hours swimming laps, mindlessly pushing herself through the water until her arms ached and her lungs burned.
It was easier to focus on the rhythm of her strokes than the hollow feeling in her chest. And when she wasn't in the pool, she was at the Brew, trying to lose herself in the noise of other people's lives.
But even that wasn't enough. When the training and the coffee shop didn't work, she found other distractions. She'd gotten good at it, finding someone to forget all that pain, someone to make her feel wanted, even if just for a few hours.
It was easier than being alone, easier than confronting the emptiness inside her. She didn't care about the consequences, didn't care about the fleeting nature of the encounters. All she cared about was escaping the pain, if only for a little while.
That's how she ended up here, in Sabrina's bed. Sabrina from the Brew. The girl she had hooked up with once before, and who, for some reason, hadn't seemed to mind when it turned into something more casual.
Emily blinked groggily as she stirred under the sheets, her body still tangled in the warmth of the blankets. She could hear Sabrina in the other room, moving around, probably getting ready for work at the café.
The air in the room was thick with the familiar scent of sleep, and for a brief moment, Emily let herself drift, her mind blissfully blank. But then the memories came flooding back… the wedding, the letter, Alison's final words.
"I don't want to hurt you anymore."
The ache in her chest returned with full force, like a wave crashing down on her, and suddenly, the bed felt suffocating. She needed to leave. She couldn't stay here, not like this, not when the past was creeping back into her thoughts.
She sat up, rubbing her temples as she pushed the covers aside. Her clothes were scattered across the floor, a reminder of the night before, of how she had once again sought comfort in someone else's arms, hoping it would make the pain go away.
But it never did.
As she reached for her shirt, Sabrina appeared in the doorway, her hair slightly disheveled but her eyes bright as ever. She smiled at Emily, though there was a hint of uncertainty in her expression.
"Hey," Sabrina said softly, leaning against the doorframe. "You want some coffee before you go?"
Emily shook her head, pulling her shirt over her head as she avoided Sabrina's gaze. "No, I should get going."
Sabrina's smile faltered for a second, but she quickly recovered. "You don't have to rush out, you know." Her voice was gentle, almost hesitant. "We could talk… or just hang out for a bit before you go."
Emily's heart clenched. She knew what was coming next. It always came eventually… the questions, the hope for something more.
But she couldn't give that to anyone, least of all to Sabrina. Her walls were too high, and she wasn't ready to let anyone in. She wasn't sure she ever would be again.
Emily shifted uncomfortably, searching for a way out of the conversation without making it too personal. "I wish I could stay, but I have something I need to take care of."
Her voice was calm, rehearsed even, like an excuse she had used before. "Work stuff, you know?"
Sabrina nodded slowly, though the disappointment in her eyes was hard to miss. "Yeah, of course. I get it..."
Her shoulders sagged just a little, but she didn't press further. "Okay," she said quietly. "Well… I guess I'll see you around then..."
Emily nodded, grabbing her jacket from the floor and pulling it on. She could feel the weight of Sabrina's gaze on her as she walked toward the door, but she didn't look back. She couldn't.
She left the apartment without another word, stepping into the cool morning air. As she walked down the quiet street, her mind began to clear, but the familiar emptiness returned, creeping back into her chest.
The brunette had spent the last three weeks running from it, hiding behind a series of distractions and fleeting encounters. But no matter what she did, the pain was always there, lurking just beneath the surface.
The truth was, she hated Alison.
She hated how the blonde had shattered her heart, how she had played with her emotions for years, keeping her just close enough to maintain hope but never giving her what she needed… and now, Alison was gone, living her perfect life while Emily was left behind, broken and lost.
And no matter how many drinks she had, no matter how many one-night stands, nothing could change that.
It felt like nothing could make the pain go away.
Emily shoved her hands deeper into her pockets as she walked through the streets of Rosewood, her breath fogging in the cool air.
The town felt eerily quiet, almost too peaceful. It was the complete opposite of how she felt inside… chaotic, unsettled, and numb all at once. The more she tried to distract herself, the more the emptiness gnawed at her, threatening to consume her completely.
She quickened her pace, needing to be anywhere but standing still. Standing still meant thinking, and thinking always led back to Alison. No matter how hard she tried to push the blonde from her mind, she couldn't.
It was like Alison was woven into the very fabric of her being, and Emily didn't know how to unravel herself from it.
After a while, she found herself back at Hanna and Caleb's apartment. She let out a heavy sigh, staring up at the building for a moment before trudging inside. She felt guilty for using their place as a retreat, but she didn't know where else to go.
There were too many memories tied to her mom's house, and the weight of the past was too much for her to handle on her own. Here, at least, she had a buffer, Hanna's constant chatter and Caleb's quiet understanding.
As she stepped inside the apartment, she was met with the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen. Hanna was sitting at the table, scrolling through her phone with a frown on her face.
When she heard Emily enter, she looked up and smiled, though the concern in her eyes was still clear.
"Hey, you're back early," Hanna said, setting her phone aside. "You okay?"
Emily forced a tight smile, pulling off her jacket and hanging it on the back of a chair. "Yeah, just went for a jog."
Hanna raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "You've been going for a lot of jogs lately. Everything alright?"
"I'm fine" Emily replied a little too quickly, her voice sharper than she intended. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap."
Hanna waved her off, standing up and grabbing a mug from the counter. "Don't worry about it. You've been through a lot, Em. It's normal to feel... off."
Emily clenched her jaw, her eyes fixed on the floor as she felt the walls closing in again. Hanna had no idea. None of them did. They all thought she was just struggling with Alison's rejection, and while that was part of it, it wasn't the whole story.
But how could she explain that to Hanna? How could she tell her that she wasn't just heartbroken, she was angry? Furious, even. Furious at herself for holding on for so long. Furious at Alison for leaving her broken, for playing with her heart and then walking away.
And most of all, Emily hated that she still cared. That despite everything, she still loved Alison, even if she didn't want to. And she hated herself for being so weak.
"Em?" Hanna's voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and Emily blinked, realizing Hanna had been talking. "Do you want to talk about it? I mean… I know you're not the type to open up, but I'm here if you need to."
Emily shook her head, swallowing the lump in her throat. "There's nothing to talk about."
Hanna sighed, clearly frustrated, but she didn't push. "Alright, but just remember that you don't have to keep everything bottled up. We're all here for you."
Emily nodded, though the weight of Hanna's words only made her feel more isolated. She didn't want anyone to be here for her. She didn't deserve it. Not after everything that had happened, not after the choices she had made.
She wasn't the person they thought she was, and she couldn't bring herself to admit how far she had fallen.
After a long moment, Hanna gave her a small smile. "I've got to run to the boutique, but we can hang out later if you want. Maybe watch a movie or something?"
"Yeah, maybe," Emily said quietly, though she had no intention of staying home.
Hanna didn't push, instead grabbing her purse and heading for the door. "Alright, I'll see you later."
As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, Emily let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. The silence of the apartment settled around her, heavy and oppressive.
She stood there for a moment, staring at the empty space, before grabbing her phone and keys.
She needed to get out again… needed to escape the noise in her head before it swallowed her whole.
By the time she stepped back onto the streets, Emily's thoughts were already spiraling. The numbness was creeping back in, and she welcomed it. It was easier this way, easier than dealing with the overwhelming weight of her emotions.
The brunette headed toward the Brew, hoping to drown her thoughts in coffee and meaningless conversation, but as she approached, her heart skipped a beat.
She forgot that Sabrina was there working today.
The blonde stood behind the counter, chatting with a customer, her smile bright and warm, and for a moment, Emily felt a pang of guilt.
Sabrina didn't deserve to be caught up in her mess. She was kind, genuine... the kind of person Emily should've been able to connect with. But she couldn't.
Her eyes flicked up, catching sight of Emily as she approached, and her smile faltered just slightly before she forced it back into place.
"Hey, Emily," she said, her voice light but cautious. "Coffee?"
Emily nodded, shoving her hands into her pockets as she leaned against the counter. "Yeah, the same as usual please. Thanks."
Sabrina moved quickly, pouring the coffee without missing a beat. When she handed it to Emily, there was a flicker of something in her eyes, something Emily didn't want to acknowledge.
"Thanks," Emily mumbled, taking the cup and turning to leave.
"Wait," Sabrina's voice stopped her, and Emily froze. She could feel the tension thickening between them, and she knew what was coming.
"About the other night…"
Emily turned back slowly, her expression carefully neutral. "Yeah?"
Sabrina hesitated, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of the counter. "Was it just... you know... like… a one-time thing? Or... is this something more?"
Emily's heart sank, though she wasn't surprised. Sabrina deserved more than the half-truths Emily was giving her, but she couldn't give her more. She couldn't give anyone more.
"It was fun," Emily said carefully, keeping her voice detached, "but I'm not looking for anything serious."
Sabrina nodded, though Emily could see the disappointment in her eyes. "Right. I figured..."
"I'm sorry…" Emily added quietly, though she wasn't sure what she was apologizing for. She didn't owe anyone anything, not after everything she had been through. But the guilt gnawed at her anyway.
Sabrina gave her a tight smile. "It's fine. I get it."
The brunette nodded once, then turned and walked away, leaving the conversation, and Sabrina, behind.
She hated this. She hated how she had become so closed off, so disconnected from everyone around her. But the truth was, it was the only way she knew how to survive.
The walls she had built around herself were the only thing keeping her from breaking completely.
As she stepped outside, the cool air hit her face, and she instinctively pulled her jacket tighter around her. She let out a long, weary sigh, the weight of her encounter with Sabrina lingering like an ache she couldn't shake.
With her coffee in hand, Emily walked down the street, her steps slower than before. How much longer could she keep running? How many more nights like this, trying to escape the weight of everything she was feeling, could she endure?
No matter how many distractions she sought, no matter how far she tried to bury herself in meaningless moments, the truth was always there, waiting for her.
She couldn't escape her feelings. Not forever.
Deep down, she knew she was hurting people in her quest to numb the pain. She knew it was wrong using them as a temporary salve for wounds that no one else could heal.
But she couldn't bring herself to care the way she should. Not when the ache inside her was too overwhelming to face head-on.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket, jolting her from her thoughts. Emily hesitated before pulling it out, already suspecting who the message would be from. Sure enough, it was her mom.
-When are you stopping by, Emily? I haven't seen you in weeks. Let me know.
It wasn't the first message her mom had sent recently, and Emily had always managed to find an excuse, any reason to avoid going home. She had visited shortly before Alison's wedding, but staying there felt like a weight she couldn't bear. Being at home only reminded her of how much she had failed—failed her parents, failed herself.
Staring at the text, Emily felt a sense of unease wash over her. She couldn't keep dodging her mom forever.
With a sigh, she began to type out a reply.
-Hey mom, I'll stop by later today.
She hit send before she could change her mind, sliding the phone back into her pocket. She had been avoiding home for too long, burying herself in distractions, hoping her mom wouldn't push too hard for answers.
But now, there was no more running. No more avoiding the inevitable. She couldn't make another excuse this time.
As she continued down the street, her thoughts swirled. The idea of facing her mom made her stomach churn with anxiety, but there was no escape now.
The facade she'd built over the last few weeks, pretending she was fine, pretending she had it all together, felt more fragile than ever.
Emily knew she wasn't ready to tell her mother the whole truth. That weight was too heavy to share. So she decided, as she had so many times before, that she would keep up the facade for a little longer.
The fear of breaking down, of unraveling under her mother's concern, pressed down on her chest as she walked through the quiet streets of Rosewood. She couldn't face the truth of who she had become, not even with her own mother.
But the walls she had built around herself wouldn't hold forever.
Meanwhile, halfway across the world in Italy, Alison stood on the balcony of a luxurious villa, overlooking the rolling hills of Tuscany.
The sun was setting, casting a warm, golden glow over the landscape, and the scene looked like something out of a postcard. The beauty of the moment wasn't lost on her, but still, Alison felt distant from it all.
Elliott came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing a kiss to her temple. "Isn't this place incredible?" he asked, his voice brimming with excitement. "I told you Italy was better than Paris. It's romantic, it's secluded, and it's just us."
Alison smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Yeah, it's beautiful," she agreed softly, trying to match his enthusiasm.
They had arrived in Italy a few days ago, and Elliott had been eager to make it the most romantic trip possible.
He had meticulously planned every detail, from the vineyard tours to the candlelit dinners, and Alison had done her best to play along. But something inside her felt off.
At first, she had enjoyed the trip, the beautiful scenery, and the time spent with her new husband. But then, out of nowhere, a comment from Elliott had shifted something inside her.
They had been walking through the streets of a small Italian village when Elliott casually said, "I can't wait until we come back here with our kids one day. Can you imagine that? A little family vacation in Italy."
The words had hit her like a ton of bricks, not because of the sentiment itself, but because it had made her think of Emily.
"Name one of your kids after me, okay?"
The memory of Emily's words rushed back to her, the bittersweet vulnerability in her voice something Alison could never forget. That moment, like so many others, was etched deeply in Alison's mind, lingering even now, thousands of miles away.
The idea of having a family had always been something she had considered, but in that moment, she couldn't stop the flood of memories and the time she, Emily and the other girls had once talked about the future, the dream of something that felt totally different now.
Alison had brushed it off in the moment, but ever since, her thoughts had been consumed by Emily. The pain in her friend's eyes that night, the heartbreaking request to be remembered in a future Alison had to deny her.
The blonde believed that walking away from their friendship was the right thing, that it would help Emily move on. But now, in the quiet moments of her honeymoon, that decision weighed heavily on her.
She had written the letter early that morning before they left, believing it would offer Emily… and her the closure they needed.
But as the days passed, Alison realized it hadn't brought her the peace she had hoped for. She missed Emily. She missed her friendship. The simplicity of their bond before everything became so complicated.
Elliott's voice broke through her thoughts, pulling her back to the present. "Ali, you seem distracted."
He gave her a curious look, his smile faltering. "Is everything alright?"
Alison forced a smile, leaning into him. "Yeah, sorry. I was just… thinking about everything."
Elliott chuckled, seemingly relieved. "Well, stop thinking so much. We're here to relax. This is our honeymoon, our chance to start fresh."
He pulled her closer, his tone turning more playful. "And hey, maybe we'll even make a baby while we're here."
Alison's smile tightened, and she pulled away slightly, stepping out of his embrace. "Elliott, let's not… rush things," she said, her voice soft but firm.
He frowned, clearly confused by her sudden shift in mood. "I wasn't rushing anything, Ali. I just meant, you know… it's something to think about."
"I know," Alison said quickly, trying to smooth over the awkwardness. "I just… I'm still adjusting to everything. The wedding, the move, all of it…"
Elliott studied her for a moment before nodding slowly. "Alright. I get it. I just want us to be happy, Ali. I want this to be perfect."
"I know," she repeated, though her heart wasn't in it. She was grateful that Elliott had planned such a beautiful honeymoon, but part of her felt like she was going through the motions.
She was here, in Italy, with the man she had chosen to spend her life with. But her thoughts kept drifting back to Emily, to the friendship she had lost, and the guilt that had settled deep inside her chest.
Elliott didn't press the issue, instead taking her hand and pulling her toward the villa. "Come on, let's head inside. I've got dinner planned, and I promise, you'll love it."
Alison followed him inside, but as they sat down for dinner, her mind was still miles away.
She listened to Elliott talk about their future, about more trips, more adventures, and eventually a family, but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing.
And that something, or rather someone, was Emily.
No matter how much she tried to convince herself that she had done the right thing, that cutting ties with Emily was for the best, it didn't make the ache in her heart any easier to bear.
Emily stood on the front porch of her mother's house, the familiar scent of freshly cut grass and roses from the front garden drifting up to her.
The house felt like a memory, something distant and almost unrecognizable. Her hand hesitated on the doorknob before she finally pushed it open.
"Mom?" she called out, stepping inside.
The house was just as she remembered it, warm, comfortable, and filled with the kind of quiet that only a family home could have.
Yet, Emily felt anything but comfortable. The walls felt like they were closing in the moment she crossed the threshold, the weight of her unresolved emotions pressing down on her chest.
From the kitchen, Pam's voice rang out, full of surprise despite having been told Emily was coming. "Emily? Is that you?" There was a clatter of dishes as her mother hurried toward her. "I wasn't expecting you this early!"
Pam Fields appeared in the doorway, wiping her hands on a dish towel, her expression a mix of relief and concern. She smiled warmly as she walked over, pulling Emily into a tight hug. Emily tensed at first but then returned the hug, though it felt stiff, distant.
"It's so good to see you," Pam said softly, holding her daughter just a little longer than usual, as if she was afraid to let go.
"Yeah… you too," Emily murmured, pulling back after a moment, the tension never quite leaving her body.
Pam stepped back, her eyes scanning Emily's face with that familiar motherly scrutiny, the kind that could see straight through her. Pam knew something was wrong. She always knew.
"I was starting to wonder if you were avoiding me," Pam said with a small, nervous laugh. "You've been so busy lately, I barely get to see you."
Emily shifted uncomfortably, glancing around the room to avoid her mother's gaze. "I've just been… busy. Hanna needed my help with the boutique…" she mumbled, the lie slipping out easier than it should have.
Pam paused, clearly debating whether or not to press further, but she let it go for now, offering a hesitant smile. "So, how was Alison's wedding… It must have been beautiful, right?"
The air seemed to freeze in Emily's lungs at the mention of Alison's name. Her chest tightened as the weight of memories threatened to suffocate her. She forced a neutral expression, refusing to let her mother see how much it hurt.
"Yeah," Emily said, her voice tighter than she intended. "It was… nice. Just your typical wedding, you know."
Pam studied her for a moment, her eyes searching Emily's face for cracks in her composure. She knew. She always knew how Emily felt about Alison, how deeply those feelings ran, and how much it must have cost her to watch Alison marry someone else.
"Emily…" Pam started gently, her eyes filled with concern but laced with caution. She wanted to ask more about Alison, about what was really going on with her daughter, but she knew better than to push. So instead, she shifted the conversation. "And how's work?"
Emily hesitated for a moment, her hand tightening on the strap of her bag. Work. That was another weight she had to carry, another part of her life she had tried so hard to avoid talking about. "It's… it's fine," she said, her voice low.
Pam waited for her to elaborate, but Emily didn't offer much more. She knew her mother had no idea what had happened after her father's death.
She'd kept most of it hidden, how she had spiraled after losing him, how she'd spent months drinking to numb the pain, and how she'd blown through the money her parents had saved for her college education on parties and alcohol.
Emily had been lost, broken after her dad's funeral, and she'd tried to forget that by losing herself in anything that would make her forget the weight of her grief.
She had missed so many classes at college that eventually, she was kicked out. There had been no more pretending after that. She had left school and taken a job as a bartender in California.
It was a far cry from the future her parents had envisioned for her, and she felt the shame settle in her chest whenever she thought about it.
"Still coaching the swim team at Pepperdine?" Pam asked, her voice soft but curious. It was the lie Emily had let her mother believe. It was easier than admitting the truth.
Emily swallowed hard, guilt gnawing at her as she nodded. "Yeah," she lied, her voice barely above a whisper. "Still coaching." The weight of the lie settled deeper into her chest.
Pam smiled warmly, not sensing the real turmoil behind Emily's calm exterior. "I'm so proud of you, Em. You've done so well for yourself… after everything."
Her voice softened even more, the words filled with deep sincerity. "Your dad would've been so proud of you too, you know that?"
As she spoke, Pam turned away, heading toward the kitchen, her back to Emily as she wiped her hands on a towel. The sound of her steps echoed softly, as if the world had gone eerily quiet for a moment.
Emily's heart pounded louder in her chest, each beat reverberating with the guilt she had buried for so long. The air felt thick, like it was pressing down on her, and suddenly, she couldn't breathe.
Pam's final words hung in the air like a weight Emily could no longer bear.
Her breath hitched, and she felt her throat tighten as the walls she'd built started to crack. "Mom…" Her voice came out small, broken, barely above a whisper, but Pam stopped in her tracks, sensing the shift.
"Emily?" Pam turned slowly, concern now etched across her face. She hadn't expected this, and her warm smile faded as she saw the raw emotion building behind her daughter's eyes.
"I'm not what you think," Emily choked out, her voice trembling. Her chest heaved with the weight of everything she had been hiding. "I'm not… I haven't been okay."
The words tumbled out, her composure finally shattering. Her vision blurred with tears she could no longer hold back.
Pam took a hesitant step forward, confusion and concern deepening on her face. "Emily, what are you talking about?" Her voice was soft, laced with fear of what she was about to hear.
Emily's legs felt weak beneath her, but she forced herself to stand still. She couldn't look her mother in the eyes anymore. She couldn't bear to see the disappointment she knew would follow.
"After Dad died… I didn't know what to do. I lost myself." Her voice wavered, each word a painful admission. "I couldn't focus on school. I couldn't… think straight. I just—"
She swallowed hard, trying to find the strength to continue. "I started drinking. A lot. I missed so many classes that they kicked me out. I dropped out of college, Mom."
Pam's face drained of color, her eyes widening as the weight of Emily's confession hit her. "You… dropped out?" She repeated the words slowly, as if she needed to hear them again to believe them.
Emily nodded, biting her lip to keep it from trembling. "I'm not a swim coach. I don't work at Pepperdine. I've been bartending in California… just trying to get by."
Her voice was barely a whisper now. "I wasted all the money you and Dad saved for me. I spent it on drinking, on parties… on nothing that mattered. I threw it all away."
Pam's hand flew to her mouth, shock and pain flickering in her eyes. She took a step back, her body stiff with disbelief. "Emily..." she whispered, struggling to find the right words. "Why? Why didn't you tell me?"
Emily's chest tightened even more, and her tears flowed freely now. "Because I didn't want to disappoint you," she sobbed, her voice thick with guilt and shame.
"I didn't want you to see me like this… as someone who failed. I thought I could fix it, I thought I could find my way back, but… I couldn't."
For a long moment, Pam stood frozen, her face a mix of shock, hurt, and confusion. The silence between them felt unbearable.
The disappointment Emily had feared was now clear in her mother's eyes, but beneath it, there was something else… a deep, overwhelming sorrow for the pain her daughter had been carrying alone.
"I don't know what to say," Pam whispered finally, her voice barely audible. She looked away, her own tears brimming in her eyes. "I thought… I thought I knew what was going on with you. I thought you would tell me if something was wrong. But this…"
Emily wiped her face with the back of her hand, her heart breaking as she saw the pain she had caused her mother. "I'm so sorry, Mom," she said, her voice cracking under the weight of her words.
"I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to hurt you any more than I already had… after Dad…"
Pam's face softened at the mention of her late husband, her own grief surfacing. She let out a shaky breath, stepping closer to Emily. "You didn't just hurt me, Em. You've been hurting yourself…"
Pam's hands trembled as she reached out, taking Emily's hands in hers. "I just wish you had told me sooner. I could have helped you," she whispered, her voice filled with so much love and regret.
Emily shook her head, her sobs breaking free. "I didn't know how," she cried. "I felt so lost. After Dad died, I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what to do, how to move forward. And then Alison left, and it felt like… everything just fell apart."
"Alison?" Pam asked softly, her brow furrowing in surprise. "Is that why you've been so distant? Because of her?"
Emily nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks as she tried to explain. "It wasn't just her, but… yeah. It didn't help. She left right after Dad's funeral, and I didn't even get to say goodbye. I felt like I lost everything in one moment, and I didn't know how to handle it. I started drinking, missing classes, and before I knew it… I was out of control."
Pam's face crumpled, the weight of Emily's pain hitting her fully. "Oh, Em," she whispered, stepping closer.
She wrapped her arms around Emily, pulling her daughter into a tight embrace, her hands shaking as she held on. "I had no idea. I had no idea you were going through all of this."
Emily clung to her mother, her body trembling as years of guilt and shame poured out of her. "Because I'm not the person you think I am," she sobbed.
"I didn't want you to see me like this… as a failure who couldn't even hold it together after everything you and Dad did for me."
Pam held her tighter, her own tears spilling over now as she stroked her daughter's hair. "Emily, you are not a failure," she whispered fiercely, her voice thick with emotion.
"You've been through so much more than anyone should ever have to. And yes, you've made mistakes, but that doesn't change the fact that you're still my daughter. I still love you. I will always love you."
Emily wept in her mother's arms, the weight of years of hiding her pain finally released. For the first time in so long, she allowed herself to be vulnerable, to be held.
"I'm so sorry," Emily whispered, her voice broken between sobs. "I'm so sorry, Mom…"
Pam held her daughter even tighter, rocking her gently. "I know, honey. I know. We'll figure this out together, okay? You're not alone in this anymore."
Even though Emily still felt broken, there was a small comfort in finally telling her mother the truth.
The pain was still there, but in that moment, wrapped in her mother's embrace, she didn't feel quite as lost as she had before.
After her emotional confession to her mother, Emily stayed at the house for a while longer, allowing the calm of the family home to settle over her like a blanket.
But eventually, the quiet became suffocating again. She couldn't stay still for long these days, not with everything that still weighed on her mind.
The conversation with her mom had been a release, but it didn't fix everything. She still felt broken, still felt haunted by the past. She wasn't sure how to start healing.
She left her mother's house late in the afternoon, the sun beginning to sink in the sky, casting a soft orange glow over the streets of Rosewood. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she hesitated before pulling it out.
It was Hanna.
-Hey, where are you? I've been trying to reach you.
Emily frowned, realizing she hadn't checked her phone in hours. She wasn't ready to talk to anyone about what had just happened with her mom, but she also didn't want to push Hanna away. Not now.
-At my mom's place. I'll head back to yours soon, she typed quickly before pocketing her phone and starting down the familiar streets.
As she walked, her mind drifted back to Alison. The ache in her chest returned, as it always did when she thought of her. Alison had found happiness in her new life with Elliott, and Emily was stuck here, trying to pick up the pieces.
But that wasn't fair. Not to her. Not to Alison.
She had to let go, she knew that. But knowing and doing were two different things.
The streets of Rosewood felt emptier than ever as she made her way back to Hanna and Caleb's apartment. When she got there, she found Hanna sitting on the couch, scrolling through her phone with a furrowed brow.
Hanna looked up as soon as Emily walked in, her eyes filled with concern. "Hey, I was starting to worry."
Emily gave her a tight smile, kicking off her shoes and sinking onto the couch beside her. "Sorry. I was with my mom."
Hanna studied her closely, clearly sensing something was off. "Are you alright?"
Emily sat down beside Hanna, trying to compose herself, feeling the tension from the day still weighing heavily on her. She forced a smile, though it felt more like a mask than anything genuine. "Yeah, everything's good," she said softly, her voice a little too casual. "I talked to my mom… about some things… and about Alison. It's been a long talk."
Hanna's eyes softened with understanding, and she nodded. "That's good, Em. It sounds like something you needed to do."
Emily shrugged, avoiding Hanna's gaze as the words felt hollow. Yes, she had talked to her mom, but it hadn't lifted the burden that still pressed down on her chest.
Alison's name brought the familiar ache, the unresolved emotions swirling like a storm inside her. And now, telling Hanna about it felt like she was only scratching the surface.
Hanna, sensing the unease, stood up, giving her friend a bit of space. "I'm glad you opened up, Em. I'll grab us something to drink, okay?"
"Sure," Emily murmured, her mind already drifting elsewhere as Hanna walked toward the kitchen.
Hanna had left her phone on the couch, the screen still lit up. Emily's gaze flickered over to it, and her heart skipped a beat as she saw what was on the screen. It was Instagram, a photo filling the screen.
Her chest tightened as she recognized the two figures in the picture… Alison and Elliott, looking blissfully happy. They were in Italy, the caption simply reading, My Love. With a Heart behind the Text.
In the photo, they were kissing, the backdrop of a stunning sunset framing them perfectly, almost as if they were part of a dream. Emily's stomach twisted at the sight.
Her eyes lingered on Alison's smile, that familiar spark in her eyes… the one Emily had always loved.
But now, that smile wasn't for her.
Without thinking, Emily quickly stood up, her heart pounding in her chest as the image burned into her mind. She couldn't breathe. The walls were closing in again. She needed to get out.
Hanna's voice floated in from the kitchen, "Everything okay?"
Emily didn't answer. She couldn't. Instead, she headed straight for the door, leaving Hanna's apartment without another word.
Her steps were quick, almost frantic, as if the farther she walked, the more distance she could put between herself and that photo.
Hanna's voice called out from behind, confused, "Emily? Where are you going?"
But Emily didn't stop. She couldn't. Not when the pain was clawing at her, threatening to tear her apart all over again.
The cool evening air hit her face as she stepped onto the street, her heart racing. She had to numb it, just like she had done before. She needed something to dull the sharp edges of her emotions, to push away the image of Alison and Elliott.
Her feet led her to the nearest store, her mind made up before she even realized what she was doing. Inside, the lights buzzed, harsh and cold.
Emily grabbed a bottle of alcohol off the shelf, barely glancing at what it was. She didn't care. She just needed something, anything, to drown out the ache in her chest.
As she stood in line at the checkout, clutching the bottle tightly, she felt a wave of guilt wash over her. But it was too late to turn back now.
She wasn't ready to face the pain head-on... and she wasn't ready to talk to anyone about what was really going on inside her heart right now.
Sometime later, Emily found herself stumbling through the cemetery, the bottle of vodka clutched tightly in her hand. She had no clear memory of how she got there, only that her feet had carried her to the one place where she could be alone with her thoughts.
The numbness she craved hadn't fully set in, but the alcohol had dulled her senses enough to make the pain feel distant, almost manageable.
The cemetery was quiet, the night air still and cool, with only the sound of the wind rustling through the trees. Emily sat down, slumped against her father's gravestone, the bottle of vodka clutched tightly in her hand.
The letters of his name, Wayne Fields, were etched into the stone, a constant reminder of the man he had been and the weight of his absence. She tipped the bottle back, the burn of the alcohol doing little to numb the ache in her chest.
Emily stared at the gravestone, her words slurred and broken as she mumbled to herself, "I'm sorry, Dad... I really messed up. You were everything... everything I'm not. A hero. I'm just... I'm just a failure."
Her head dropped to her knees as she sat there, the world spinning around her, the vodka making her feel both heavy and weightless at the same time.
She let out a bitter laugh, wiping the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. "I can't even... even get my life together. I'm not... I'm not you."
Emily took another swig from the bottle, the liquid burning its way down her throat, but the pain in her chest only grew sharper. She pressed her head against her father's gravestone, her voice barely a whisper as she continued.
"I thought... I thought I could handle it. All of it. But I'm so lost, Dad. I don't even know who I am anymore."
Her eyes squeezed shut as the flood of memories hit her, Alison's smile, the night they shared after the funeral, and the cold emptiness she woke up to when Alison was gone. She clenched the bottle tightly, her knuckles white against the glass.
"And then there's Alison," Emily muttered bitterly, her voice cracking. "I gave her everything. Every piece of me... and she just... she left..."
The brunette laughed again, but there was no humor in it, only sorrow. "And now she's happy, isn't she? She's got her perfect life. Perfect husband. Perfect everything... and I'm still here, talking to a piece of stone."
Emily wiped at her face again, her anger mixing with the heartbreak. "She said she loved me as a friend… but why doesn't she want me in her life then, huh? I was… never good for her… good for anyone…"
She leaned back against the cold stone, staring up at the sky, her voice barely audible now, as if the weight of the world was crushing her from the inside out. "I don't know what to do anymore…"
Her hand trembled as she raised the bottle again, but she paused, staring down at it for a long moment.
Emily's thoughts swirled as she stared at the bottle, lost in her own pain. Her surroundings had faded into the background, the quiet of the cemetery only making her isolation feel more profound.
After a few minutes passed, the brunette heard a soft crunch of footsteps on the gravel that pulled her from her thoughts.
Emily blinked, her mind hazy as a figure approached, stopping just a few feet away. The man was older, with graying hair and a weathered face, and he carried a small bouquet of white lilies.
He stood in silence for a moment, looking at the gravestone before his gaze shifted to Emily. His expression softened, a flicker of recognition in his eyes.
"Are you Wayne Fields' daughter?" His voice was low, gentle, as though he already knew the answer.
Emily looked up at him, her vision swimming from the alcohol. "Yeah… I am. Who are you?"
The man gave a small, sad smile. "David Morgan. I served with your father. He was… a good man. I've just returned from a mission and thought I'd come pay my respects."
Emily swallowed hard, her throat tight as she tried to process his words. She stared at him for a long moment before muttering, "He was a hero. And I'm… I'm nothing."
David crouched down, placing the lilies gently at the base of the gravestone. He looked at Emily with a mixture of sympathy and understanding. "Your father was proud of you. He talked about you all the time."
Emily scoffed, shaking her head as she looked away. "Proud of what? I'm a failure. I couldn't even finish college… I've screwed up everything."
David stayed quiet for a moment, his gaze lingering on the gravestone. When he spoke, his voice was calm but filled with a quiet strength.
"Your dad always said that being strong isn't about never falling down. It's about what you do after. We all stumble, but it doesn't mean you've failed."
Emily's fingers tightened around the bottle as tears filled her eyes again. "I don't feel strong. I feel like I've lost everything."
David reached into his jacket and pulled out a small card, handing it to her. "I'm not here to tell you what to do. But if you're looking for something more… the Army gave your dad purpose. Maybe it could help you find yours too."
Emily stared at the card in her hand, her mind spinning. The Army? She wasn't sure she could even think about something like that.
Not now in her current state. But as she looked back up at David, there was something in his eyes, a glimmer of hope, of belief, that made her hesitate.
"It's not an easy path," David added, his voice steady. "But neither is staying here, feeling like this. Your father believed in you. Maybe it's time you start believing in yourself too."
The words hit her harder than she expected, and for a moment, she didn't know how to respond. She just looked at the card, the name and contact details blurring in her vision.
David stood, giving her one last look. "Take care of yourself. You've got more strength than you know."
With that, he turned and walked away, leaving her alone in the stillness of the cemetery.
Emily sat there for a long time, staring at the card, her thoughts tangled in confusion. She wasn't sure what her next step would be, or if she'd even consider it. But the idea lingered, unsettling and persistent.
Maybe there was a way to quiet the pain she had been drowning in for so long. Maybe this was her chance to forget, to leave behind the pieces of her life that hurt the most.
And though she couldn't make any decisions tonight, the thought of a different path, one that could numb the constant ache, quietly settled into her thoughts.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I know this chapter was heavy, and some of you may be feeling all sorts of emotions right now, especially with how Emily is dealing with everything. It's a tough journey for her, and I wanted to capture that rawness and vulnerability. As for Alison, I know some of you have been conflicted about her. She's going through her own difficult realizations as the story continues, and it's not easy to face what you've left behind, but yeah there is more to come. Please feel free to share your thoughts, frustrations, or even theories in the comments! I love reading your feedback, seeing how you're interpreting the characters' actions and emotions makes this all more interesting and your feedback keeps me motivated as well. As always I'll try to update as soon as I can, but it could be possible, that the next update will take a few weeks, I can't tell how much time I'll have in the upcoming days/weeks. Until next time :D