Hubba Bubba
Author's Note: Enjoy the story and R&R.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or of the Pokémon franchise.
Pairings: Established Yeardley x Parker. Referenced established Ash x Goh.
Summary:
Team Rocket leaks an enormous amount of Trainer data, which has unforeseen ramifications.
"Yeardley, you see that?"
"What?"
"Out by the Gym. Coming towards us. Is that a Donphan?"
A fair assumption, only it wasn't the correct colours. For either the standard black and grey Donphan or the brown and green Shiny variant. A closer aesthetic match would be Miltank, though the pink of this Pokémon's body was a darker shade, with pale yellow patterning distributed throughout.
Yeardley's guess at its identity was as good as Bailey's at this distance: Not very.
Last time anyone checked, it wasn't physically doable to ride a Donphan while it was performing Rollout. Or any Pokémon using Rollout, for that matter. This Pokémon, however – whatever species it belonged to – had arms that ended in three-fingered hands with one claw each…Arms which stayed motionless as the rest of its body spun like the wheels on a bike or the tires on a car.
Due to this baffling adaptation, the Pokémon could carry two riders, its arms providing enough durability to support humans and/or small Pokémon.
Ride Pokémon weren't anything new, but this was certainly an attention-drawing method of travel. The Pokémon and its Trainer rolled into Vermilion Port, where they were met with animate chit-chat. Sailors, engineers, passengers waiting to board the St. Anne…They put on hold what they were doing to gossip amongst themselves about the exotic Pokémon.
The Trainer's Boltund, standing on the pink Pokémon's opposite arm, jumped off after the Pokémon he hitched a ride on came to a complete stop.
"Lickilicky, return!"
Technically, Boltund was the Trainer's father's Pokémon and family pet. Boltund was also most attached to the Trainer's sister, but she was in Sinnoh visiting her friend Dawn, therefore her brother had been taking the Dog Pokémon with him on his adventures since Boltund evolved from Yamper.
His unidentified Pokémon had a saurian appearance, a set of round, bony plates tracing the outside arc of its circular back. Besides that, the defining feature was the Pokémon's long, sweet-smelling tongue. So prominent, comparisons could easily be made to the Licking Pokémon, Lickitung, or its evolved form, Lickilicky.
A Lickitung's almost seven-foot-long tongue was by no measure lengthier than this Pokémon's tongue. Although exiting the mouth as it would humans and Pokémon with roughly equivalent placement of their tongues if they had them, this Pokémon's tongue unwound from further in. The tongue was wrapped in the shape of a Spinda's eyes in the hollow chamber of the Pokémon's body like a roll of bubble tape inside a bubble tape container.
The size of the tongue when fully extended must be epic! One wondered whether the Pokémon had space for internal organs at all. It was hard to imagine a Pokémon capable of escaping it in battle. Not when its tongue could chase the opponent's Pokémon all over the battlefield.
"Hey, Yards!"
"Parker! How you been?" Yeardley ran and waved at the same time. "Did Lickitung evolve?"
"Yup! Awesome, huh?"
"He looks different than how he looks in the Poké Dex though."
"Dad says he isn't a regional form. He also isn't ecologically similar because he evolved from a Lickitung. The scientific community is totally stumped!"
"You do anything special to evolve him?"
"I didn't, but Dad thinks it could be connected to the big leak of Trainer data from the Vermilion City Pokémon Center."
"The Pokémon Center?"
"Yeah. You saw the report, didn't you? Team Rocket hacked in with Porygon-Z so they could steal the files and force Trainers to hand over their Pokémon in exchange for their personal information!"
"I heard they blasted off again. And none of the Trainers caved to their demands."
"Goh's messages to Ash were posted, you know? Confessing to Ash he's jealous of Serena."
"I mean, that isn't news, but it's nice to get confirmation." Yeardley shrugged. He had accidentally referred to Ash as "Goh's boyfriend!" after waking up from a nap in class once. Lucky for Goh, Ash's head was thicker than a Blastoise's shell, even after it was spelled out for him in black and white.
All's well that ends well, but at the time, Goh literally experienced a mental breakdown and clung screaming to Yeardley.
Some pretty harsh stuff was posted about Leon too, as well as talk of Iris' heritage, an autism diagnosis in the leader of a rival gang of Team Rocket's, and racy language used to describe Skyla, the Gym Leader of the Mistralton City Gym.
Poké Fans everywhere donned their Supereffective Glasses to separate fact from fiction.
Goh's feelings for Ash were clear-Cut.
Other dubiously sourced material was tougher to make a call on. Like the wild, bonkers story a Trainer offered up regarding Typhlosion!
Gen XYZ was trying to cancel Typhlosion based on allegations in the story.
"So? What's Lickitung evolving have to do with the leak?"
"I was at the Pokémon Center during the heist! I noticed Team Rocket in disguise, so I sent Lickitung out to stop them!"
"Did you win?"
"The PC exploded, if that's a win in your book. They still got away with a ton of data."
"Maybe Lickitung evolved in response to Porygon-Z? Porygon-Z may be a Normal-type Pokémon, but it isn't a normal Pokémon!"
"Dad and Ren and Chrysa are exploring the possibility it could be a new evolution. They're sticking to Lickilicky until they're sure. 'Beta' Lickilicky!"
"Beta?"
"What they've classified the new evolution!"
"So what brings you home to Vermilion City? Can't be Yeardley's first-rate personality!" Bailey laughed an electric laugh. "Unless you two were in the leak!"
Yeardley scrunched his bandaged nose at that, snatching Parker's hand. "AS IF! For us to be in the leak, it would have to be a secret!"
"I'm actually back to validate one of the leaks."
"You're enabling Team Rocket's crimes now?"
"What's leaked is leaked! I can't help what villains put out into the world!"
"If you're not back to see me, what leak are you here for?"
"A lead Goh would love! Rumour is a truck's been parked in the harbour since 1996, and it's the secret hiding place of Mew!"
"There's no Pokémon under the truck, Parker. It's probably just a Muk!"
