Chapter 10: Homeward Bound
"When you find an old picture of us
And you clear away the dust
I hope you miss me sometimes."
- "Cocaine Jesus," Rainbow Kitten Surprise
Hitomi's words hung frozen in the air. The silence was deafening, and Van felt ice pour through his veins. He knew that she would have to go home, and he knew her friends would push her to go home sooner rather than later, but he had hoped that he would have more time. He stared owlishly at her, trying to process her statement. She was looking at him expectantly, but he had no words.
"Van?" Hitomi questioned.
The words felt stuck in his throat. Clearing his throat, he looked at the floor. "As you wish."
"Excellent! Hitomi, we should have a bonfire to celebrate when we get home." Amano clapped his hands together decisively. He slid his arms around both girls and pulled them to sit on the edge of the bed.
Van felt a pang of jealousy at how easily the three of them interacted. They were not afraid to show physical affection, and Van envied their casual warmth deeply. He trusted few people, let alone those hewould touch without thinking. Despite being a national leader, he had not mastered his amiability with others. He desperately wanted to have that level of camaraderie, but there were few who he viewed as equals. Almost all of his relationships put him socially and authoritatively above those he cared about. Even with Allen and Merle, he was their friend but also their king. It created a weird dynamic he was still trying to navigate ten years after his coronation. Closing his eyes, he stood abruptly and headed to the door.
"Van?" Hitomi said at his quick movement. She pushed herself up, fully alert to his movements.
"I have some arrangements to make before your departure. Excuse me." Van bowed his head slightly and hurried past Allen and out the door. Hitomi's eyes followed him closely as he left.
"We should close these," Amano said suddenly, turning his attention towards the windows. "Who knows what kind of creatures are lurking around."
"Amano, I'm sure it's safe," Hitomi muttered almost under her breath. She was annoyed but couldn't place her finger on what was bothering her. The loudness of her friends was a definite contender, but it had never bothered her before. Perhaps it was the hurt in Van's eyes when she had asked to go home. Regardless, she felt overstimulated and wanted to be left alone to think.
Van walked out the door, trying hard to keep the pace of his strides consistent as he walked down the hall. He didn't want those around him to know how upset he was at the thought of Hitomi's departure. He wandered through the halls, unclear of his destination. Even though he didn't have a destination in mind when he left his chambers, he was not surprised when he found himself on the roof. Sitting down, Van stared at the sky. The Mystic Moon shone exceptionally bright, and it taunted him. He knew that he could not delay Hitomi's return to her home. The thought of saying goodbye hurt.
Merle knew Lord Van well. She had heard the commotion outside his rooms earlier that evening. After he left, she knew he would end up on the roof. Knowing that Hitomi was leaving hurt, but Merle knew it would destroy Lord Van. He kept things close to his vest. He still rarely let those around him see what he was feeling. In the last few days, Lord Van had expressed more than he had the ten years prior. Merle may not fully understand his fascination or love for Hitomi, but she was grateful Lord Van had someone. Not all of Lord Van's feelings were nice, but at least he was showing them. Merle inwardly groaned at all the times his jealousy got the best of him, but she couldn't help but smile at all the moments when he laughed and smiled. With Hitomi set to leave, Merle was terrified that Van would close himself off again.
Walking out of the shadows, Merle sat beside Van and lay her head on his shoulders. He flinched at the initial contact, and she sighed. "Lord Van, you should talk to her. Ask her to stay longer."
"She asked to go home, Merle." He replied, his eyes still trained on her home planet. "She doesn't want to stay. I can't blame her. I couldn't keep her safe."
"You can't blame yourself for that. You saved her. She knows you saved her." Merle put her arms comfortingly around his shoulders that sagged.
"I didn't even get to talk to Cenric about Ba'al and Erebos. I didn't get to fix things… to make it right." Van's voice was thick with emotion, and Merle's eyes welled with tears as she listened to the grief and regret in his voice.
"You can still make it right, Lord Van, no matter what happens with Hitomi. You can still make it right." Merle rested her head on Van's shoulder. She was failing at comforting him but didn't know how else to help.
"Her friends hate me, and I can't blame them. I've acted like a child." Van continued staring at the night sky, wishing it would swallow him.
"It isn't like you to worry what others think." Merle chided gently, although she did not correct the sentiment. She had spent the better part of the day with two very angry Mystic Moonlings.
"They matter to her, though. Their opinion does matter to me." He sighed and let himself fall backward so that he lay down with his arms resting behind his head.
"You should talk to her," Merle said gently. "She will understand."
Hitomi's irritation had not gone down since Van's departure. If anything, it had gotten worse. Her head was starting to hurt again, and her friends would not shut up about going home. She knew they were excited, but Allen was still with them, and trash-talking his home was rude. Were they this rude to Van? She hoped not.
"I can't wait to shower properly and have my phone again!" Anna squealed.
"I think being unplugged has been nice, and the baths have been lovely," Hitomi muttered. She had relocated to one of the chairs in front of the fire.
"Did you say something, Hitomi?" Anna asked, quickly adjusting her tone.
"No," Hitomi sighed and went to the window. Pulling back the curtain, she stared out at the night sky.
"Don't do that!" Amano called and leaped towards her hands, closing the drapes as quickly as she'd opened them. "You don't know what kind of creatures could be out there. I don't want to lose you again."
"Amano, it's fine. Allen, can you please tell him that it's fine." Hitomi turned, looking annoyed. Her eyes pleaded for Allen to defend her position.
"There is no reason to fear. Nothing will happen to Hitomi. She is safe." Allen assured. He sat down in the chair that Hitomi had just vacated. He had been supervising the Mystic Moonlings since Van's departure. He could tell she was aggravated and was surprised her friends were not picking up on her irritation at their behaviour.
"See!" Hitomi huffed before sitting across from Allen. "It's safe."
"When you think we can leave?" Anna asked tentatively. She did not want to upset Hitomi, but going home was appealing. She missed her brother, and Hitomi's kidnapping had rattled her. The fairytale elements of this place were a lot more attractive before it had gotten scary and life-threatening.
"Van will tell us when he returns," Hitomi replied sulkily. She was less than enthused at the circumstances under which they were going home.
Van stared at the stars; Merle had abandoned him to his thoughts. He knew he should head back and let Hitomi and her friends know that he would try to send them home in the morning. He wanted to run from his problems but knew the longer he waited, the worse it would be.
Walking back to his chamber, he could hear them talking loudly. He grimaced slightly at the volume. Were all thepeople from the Mystic Moon that loud? They were his rooms, but he still felt like he should knock. Standing in the door awkwardly, he cleared his throat. Hitomi almost immediately looked up. She looked cross, but her face melted into a smile upon seeing him.
"Van!" She called and rose from her chair.
"Hitomi, I…" He started to speak but was cut off by Anna.
"When can we leave?" Anna asked abruptly, staring him down in a way that made him feel like a small child who had been naughty.
"Anna!" Hitomi replied. She flushed, embarrassed by the way her friend spoke to Van. "That was rude!"
"Sorry, but I want to get home," Anna replied. Her voice did not hold a hint of an apology or embarrassment.
"In the morning. I will get you home in the morning." Van replied, his voice held the authority of his position. On the inside, he was breaking.
"That sounds great," Hitomi said quickly before anyone else could say anything. She forced a smile. "I think we should all get some sleep. Amano, Anna, do you remember how to get to your rooms from here?"
"I don't want to leave you," Anna replied, her voice laced with stubbornness.
"I need more sleep, and I'm perfectly safe here." Hitomi countered. Her jaw was set, and she was not up for an argument. "We're going home in the morning. I want to spend my last few hours with Allen, Van, and Merle."
"Right, we're going home," Amano repeated. "We'll see you first thing in the morning."
Amano gestured to Anna to follow him, and they left the room. Hitomi sighed in relief at how quietly they left. She did not have the energy to fight them. She knew they meant wellbutwas tired of fighting with them. She hated being angry at her friends, and she knew they did not understand her reluctance to go home or her desire to spend time with her Gaean friends over them. She barely understood how she was feeling or her behaviour. Realizing that her face probably betrayed her unease, Hitomi closed her eyes and forced her brightest smile.
Allen looked between Hitomi and Van with pity in his eyes. It was evident to him that the two of them had a lot to talk about. Hitomi's imminent departure was an unfortunate development. He had hoped that she would stay longer. Her presence on Gaea causedcalm and peace for Fanelia's king, and her trademark fire was also returning. The Hitomi Allen remembered was a spitfire, and the girl he met on the Mystic Moon was far too docile. Hitomi and Van challenged each other and brought out the best in each other. He had hoped they would have more time to reconcile. Unfortunately, due to Hitomi's kidnapping, those plans would need to be put on pause. As much as he wanted to spend time with Hitomi, the kindest gift he could offer his king would be toexcuse himself and let them continue to reconnect.
"It's been a long day for everyone. I really should retire for the evening myself. Hitomi, I will see you off in the morning." Allen said kindly and moved towards the door.
"Allen! Wait!" Hitomi pounced after him. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly from behind. "Thank you for everything."
Allen smiled kindly, and when Hitomi had disentangled herself from her hug, he headed towards the door. He turned slightly and nodded towards Van before exiting the room and heading towards his chambers. Van smiled slightly at Allen's departure and closed his eyes. He silently thanked his friend for his kind forethought. Opening his eyes, he saw Hitomi staring at him curiously. She smiled brightly at him, and he felt his knees go slightly weak.
"So, I guess we're alone," Hitomi shyly observed.
"I guess we are." He replied with a smile.
Closing the gap between them, Van pulled Hitomi into his arms. He held her tightly, resting his chin on her head. Hitomi tensed when he pulled her to him but quickly relaxed into his embrace. He breathed in deeply, memorizing her scent. She smelled of musk and a misty forest at dawn. He wanted to remember this moment after she left. He had spent years convincing himself that he did not need or want her, but she had shown him what a fool he was in a few short days. If she was going to leave, he at least wanted to burn the memory of her in his arms into his brain.
Hitomi inhaled and was struck by Van's comforting and familiar scent. He still smelled of the fields, something she would never forget about him. He smelt like home. Her eyes watered at the realization that this would likely be the last time she was this close to him. She buried her face into his muscular chest and laced her arms tightly around his waist. Raising her head and standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him gently.
Van's eyes widened when she kissed him. The casualness of her touches constantly struck him. She made kissing, cuddling, and touching the most natural thing in the world. Her gentleness was her strength, and he wanted to lean into it. He gripped her tighter and deepened the kiss. She moaned gently, and he took advantage of her open mouth. He felt he could hear his heartbeat thundering in his ears. His pulse accelerated, and he felt a hunger wake inside him. Running his hands along her soft curves, he lost sense and reason. This was likely a bad idea; she was leaving in a few hours, but he did not care. She wasin his arms and reciprocating the ferocity of his kisses.
Tugging gently at his shirt, Hitomi sought help to rid him of the offending fabric. She wanted closer contact than what the shirt would allow. She looked so adorably cross that Van couldn't help but laugh. It reverberated deeply in his chest, and Hitomi's face blossomed into the most brilliant smile at the sound. Gripping the edge of his shirt, he slowly peeled it from his frame. Hitomi's eyes roved hungrily across the muscles that flexed as he removed his shirt. She licked her lips gently before moving her hands to his chest and kissing along his collarbone.
Leaning into his ear, she whispered, "Up." She slid his hands down to cup the curves of her ass. He happily obliged and lifted her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he held her against his chest. Capturing her lips once more, Van began moving towards the bed. Laying her back gently, he dropped her on the soft mattress, and she stared up at him, her eyes filled with lust. She scooted backward and got on her knees; looking at him in the eyes, she lifted the edges of her shift and pulled it over her head.
She stared at him with a mischievous smile that grew wider as he stared slack-jawed at her nakedness. To him, she was perfect, and he had never seen anything as beautiful in his entire life. He leaned down and captured her lips, tumbling on the bed on top of her. They both broke out into laughter. Hitomi reached down to fumble with his pants; like his shirt, she wanted more contact with his skin than the fabric of his trousers would allow. While Hitomi fiddled with his pants, Van's hands had made their way to her breasts, and she was arching her back to the sensation of his rough hands on her smooth skin.
Grabbing her hands, he pinned them gently above her head. Taking the opportunity to stare at her, he whispered in her ear, "You're beautiful."
His breath tickled her ear, and she shivered in response. He started kissing a lazy trail down her body, starting at her earlobe and making his way down her neck. He next lavished attention to her breasts, first her left and then her right. She squirmed with arousal. Sliding one hand down her body, he rubbed her inner thigh. She moaned in frustration; he was close to where she wanted him most.
"Tell me what you want," he whispered wickedly in her ear, drawing his hand away.
"Please." She begged in response, looking at him with darkened eyes.
"Please, what?" He asked innocently before ducking his head back down to her nipples, lazily tracing circles around them with his tongue.
"Please, I need you inside me." She gasped, arching her back into him.
"Are you sure that's what you want?" He asked, raising his head to look at her.
"Yes, I want you, Van." She whispered, her voice shaking with desire.
Pulling back, Van removed his pants and laughed as Hitomi whined at the loss of contact. He came back, crashing down on top of her. He positioned himself at her entranceand slid inside. He groaned and dropped his head onto her shoulder. She was soaking for him and so tight. His desire to stay still was thwarted by Hitomi, who gently bucked her hips into him. Following her lead, he began to move with her in perfect rhythm.
Hitomi was breathlessly in bliss. She had had sex before, and Van was not her first. Her past experiences, by comparison, had been clinical. She wondered if the difference had been her indifference to her past partners. She had always been cynical enough to roll her eyes at people who called the act "making love," but that was the best description of what she was experiencing with Van. She breathed his name like a prayer and leaned her head into the crook of his neck. She felt like she was at the mercy of waves of pleasure that ripped through her with each thrust. Her brain was mercifully clear and caught up in the moment for the first time in years. Washed away were the bad memories and her sadness about leaving Gaea. She was only focused on how amazing it felt to be with Van in this way.
Van closed his eyes and tried to calm his electrified nerves. He could hear Hitomi whispering his name in ecstasy, and it nearly pushed him over the edge. Van had never been with a woman before and was thankful that Hitomi would always be his first. He loved her so dearly and marvelled that she wanted himthe way he wanted her. His toes curled in pleasure, and he foughtto stay in control of his body. He was terrified that it would be over too soon or that Hitomi would not reach her peak. He could feel her legs shake against him, and her body convulsed as he thrust. He could feel her tighten around him. With each pulsating wave, as she tightened, she called out to him and god. He pushed deeper inside her and felt his resolve melt away as he, too, was carried over the edge. He whispered her name into her hair and lay on her for a long time. Finally, he pulled away and shifted. Pulling her to his side, he wrapped his arms around her.
"That was incredible," Hitomi said after a long silence. She leaned over and gently nipped his shoulder.
Van just smirked in response. He cuddled her closer and stared at the ceiling. He did not want the night to endandwas afraid to fall asleep, knowing she would leave in the morning. He stroked her hair gently. She sighed contentedly in his arms and started to doze off. Sweat gleamed on her body as she lay next to him. She made no move to get dressed, and Van followed her lead.
"Van?" she asked sleepily.
"Yes, Hitomi?" he replied quietly.
"Please try and contact me when I go home." She asked shyly. "I'm going to miss you."
"I will." He replied softly.
"Do you promise?" Hitomi pressed, her voice hinting at desperation.
"Yes, I promise." He replied solemnly. The words 'I love you' hung silently in the air. They were in the back of his throat and on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to say them desperately but was afraid they'd be weaponized if he said them now. She was going home, and he did not want to make her feel guilty about leaving. Reaching down, he took her hand and gently kissed her fingertips.
Despite their best efforts to stay awake, sleep soon claimed them both. They stayed that way until morning, when a loud bang at the door woke them with a start. Hitomi and Van scrambled to get dressed. Meanwhile, the noise at the door continued. Hitomi muttered to herself as she shuffled towards the door. Van grabbed her arm and pulled her gently behind him as he opened the door, revealing a furious Merle.
"You were just going to let her leave without saying goodbye to me!" Merle's eyes narrowed towards Van.
"Merle, I wouldn't do that!" Hitomi tried to interject.
"You weren't the only one who missed her. I am her friend, too." Merle added sulkily.
"Of course you are, Merle." Hitomi cooed and slung her arms around the catgirl. Pulling her into a hug, Hitomi tried her best to comfort her friend and ease the hurt she had caused. Looking over at Van, Hitomi gave a slight shrug and soft smile. She knew they were not likely to get any more alone time before it was time to leave.
Van smiled, watching the easy interactions between the love of his life and his adopted sister. He remembered the years during the war when they spent much of their time at odds with each other. Seeing them get along warmed his heart. He selfishly wished that Hitomi could stay and thatthey could have more moments like this one. Unfortunately, he would never ask her to stay. As much as it broke his heart, he would get her and her friends home.
Merle and Hitomi were in deep discussion when Anna and Amano came searching for her and their way home. They had both had little sleep and looked exhausted. They were freshly bathed and were dressed in their Earth clothes. Entering the room, Amano's eyes narrowed.
"Hitomi, you aren't ready yet." Amano chastised. "You aren't planning to go home looking like that? It's practically medieval."
Hitomi rolled her eyes, "I think I look amazing, thank you. The only thing I could use is a bath."
Amano took a step back. He was not used to Hitomi being sassy when responding to him, and the amount of sarcasm she had expressed over the last few days was confusing. This was not the girl he loved. She was a mix of emotions he would not usually associate with her. Most notably, she was annoyed at him. Hitomi was never annoyed at him. Her shift in personality was something that he hoped would return to normal once they returned to Earth.
"Van, do you think I could get a bath?" Hitomi turned her attention to Van, and Amano felt all but forgotten.
"I can get Fiadh to take you," Van replied, and he stepped out of the room. He returned a few moments later with Fiadh behind him.
"Lady Hitomi, if you follow me, we will get you to the baths." Fiadh stretched her arm, directing Hitomi towards the door. Hitomi followed her without so much as a second glance towards Amano.
Hitomi emerged from the baths feeling refreshed. As she exited the baths, Fiadhpressed her Earth clothes into her hands. She felt oddly out of place in her cropped top and shorts. Even though she had been on Gaea for a few days, she had gotten comfortable in Fanelian fashion. They were surprisingly comfortable, and she could feel the difference in the fabrics almost instantly. The polyester blends of her Earth clothes itched at her skin. Shrugging slightly, she followed Fiadh through the gardens to a small clearing. Hitomi gasped in recognition. It was the same clearing where she had been sent home the first time. The Escaflowne stood in careful watch next to the graves of Van's family. She looked around in confusion only to realize that Fiadh had brought her here for her to go home. Van, Allen and her Earth friends stood in a tense semi-circle. Walking over to Van, she flung her arms around him tightly.
"Don't you dare forget your promise," She warned.
"I won't," Van replied solemnly. He looked like he wanted to say more but was cut off by Anna.
"Let's hurry. I want to see Ben and Aaron." Anna whined.
Van looked sad but took a step back. He removed the pendant from around his neck and lifted it in the air. Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply. The air crackled, and electricity shot around them. A pillar of blinding light shot down and began to lift the Earthlings towards the heavens.
"Van Fanel, I won't forget you, even when I'm old," Hitomi shouted over to thenoise of the pillar.
With that, she and her fellow Earthlings disappeared from Gaea. Hitomi next saw the house on the Chester Basin. They were home, and she could not be more devastated. Falling to the ground, she began to cry harsh tears. Anna and Amano fell to the ground with her. Mistaking her tears for those of relief, they cooed reassuring words that she was home and safe, not realizing that it was the last place that she wanted to be. For Hitomi, she realized too late that she did not want to go home, and now there was no way back.
