Chapter 8
Things were looking up for Rory. It was like energy had flowed back into every cell in her body, a smile forming on her lips even if there wasn't anything to be particularly happy about. And just as the first signs of false spring were melting the frost around her, she'd begun to feel better about everything in her life, too. She was pregnant of course - and things were well, the small flutter-like feel a couple of nights ago having now truly become a reality for her. But instead of the scary outlook of becoming the single mom to a daughter whose paternity would remain as something to be ashamed of, she actually had some hopes to co-parent this child with her real father, even if the details were still a little fuzzy. At least the intentions were good - it was a good start, wasn't it? Rory believed that even if this was going to be some half-absent-father kind of thing, from her perspective it really wasn't that horrible either.
A relationship was still valuable to a child even if father-daughter relationships came in a less-than-standard format. Her relationship to Christopher was a prime example of that. Mostly she just believed it was a matter of expectations, and she aimed to set them low to begin with, knowing how busy Logan was. But most importantly - Logan's validation that it was 'okay' that this was happening - had made her a lot less ashamed of her growing belly and the situation that she was in. Sure, there were no plans to broadcast Logan's role any time soon, and the exact details to tell the child were very much to be discussed - but Rory genuinely felt some happiness in her to be able to offer Logan at least something resembling a real fatherhood.
It was for this reason she had finally embraced her maternity wardrobe, and was planning on exposing her little bump through a stretchy knitted dress to everyone at Luke's that morning. One might've considered it self-centered thinking, believing everyone would be studying her so closely when they probably didn't. But it was a big deal for Rory.
"Sit anywhere you like," Luke said, after Rory had greeted him with a nod and looked at him questioningly for a split second, asking which of the two vacant tables to take. Her mother had an early morning meeting with the construction crew at the new Inn annex, so it was just her this morning.
Rory shed her coat, hung it up and straightened her dress, and could definitely sense some eyes darting towards her - but well-meaningly so. She sank down at the table and exhaled in relief, seeing this as a rite of passage in becoming someone's mom. She had a bump. She was pregnant. She was having a baby. So, what? Soon there would be no hiding. Soon it would be her and her little girl, coming here for breakfast. The thought made her smile.
"Pancakes when you get a chance?" Rory said, friendlily, making it easy for Luke to serve her, seeing how busy it was.
"Coming right up. Caesar! Pancakes for Rory!" Luke replied and called out towards the kitchen.
"Thank you, Luke," Rory replied, as the man brought her morning coffee, anticipating her need. She had every intention of really savoring this cup.
"Enjoy," Luke said, knowing any lecture on coffee-drinking would not be heard.
"I will," Rory chimed and smiled.
Rory took a book from her tote bag, and opened it up from where she'd left off the night before, allowing herself a nice relaxing morning.
Another thing seeing Logan a couple of days ago had done was wipe any thought of her weird dinner with Tristan out of her mind. She didn't have any energy for complicated and unpredictable things that seemed supplementary in her life right now - even if some part of her would've liked to explore her options. Her life needed to focus on herself for now. Not that she was getting any hopes up for getting back together with Logan in any form - she hoped to avoid that for the sake of self-respect. She wasn't going to get involved with a married man again. She was determined to avoid making that mistake again, having learned the hard way. She didn't want to be his Geisha, or his second family, tucked away in another country whom he'd visit on holidays. The question remained - if one took sex out of the picture, how much different this really was from the latter?
They'd agreed to meet again within a few months and make sure everything got discussed with proper attention, including lawyers if it came to it. Somehow Rory trusted him enough not to expect him to want to pull the rug from under her when it came to parental rights, assuming fairly certainly that they were going for joint legal custody but keeping the child's day-to-day life with Rory. But the truth was, that was yet to be set in stone. Still, Rory maintained optimism for now. She knew Logan, that much she believed.
Rory had gotten through the next chapter by the time she'd finished her coffee. It was tempting to consider having a refill, but as the sugar rush in her body had made the little bean in her belly flutter yet again, it reminded her to hold off. Thinking of herself and her bean as 'us' was still new to her, but it was growing on her.
She was just getting up, and reaching for her coat, when the diner's door chimed in a familiar manner, causing her eyes to look up.
"Hey, look what the cat dragged in!" Rory chimed, sounding genuinely glad to see the newcomer was a friendly face, and finished putting on her coat.
"Hey!" Jess chimed, his face lighting up a little.
"What brings you to town?" Rory asked.
"Mom-maintenance. Again," Jess groaned, but Rory knew it was no longer as reluctant to him, having spoken to Jess a little about this at Lorelai's wedding.
"Oh-oh," Rory reacted, dramatically. "What happened this time?" Rory asked, recalling how the last time it had been something about a vegetable cult.
"Got a call from TJ trying to talk me into buying 20 boxes of some hair growth products. You can have three guesses why," Jess explained, sounding very skeptical about the whole thing.
"Sounds fun," Rory commented, sarcastically.
"Yeah. Like I don't have a job or anything," Jess snorted, catching sight of Luke whom he'd been meaning to come and talk to.
"Okay, I'll leave you to it. Got to get to work," Rory replied.
"You're still at the paper?" Jess asked.
"I am," Rory said.
"I'll see how things go. Maybe I'll see you around?" Jess added with a hint of hopefulness.
It wasn't until Rory had exited the diner, having left with a content smile on her lips, she finally realized she didn't really know if Jess had noticed she was pregnant. Or maybe he knew through Luke? He hadn't specifically looked at her belly, but he might've just been too polite not to ask or stare. Still - somehow this was not a conversation she was eager to have, half expecting him to be mad at her for some reason. Jess had, contrary to Logan, always been the one to tell her exactly what he thought she should do or not do with her life. He rarely held his opinion to herself. Sometimes his opinion had even been good for her. But usually, it was still hard to hear.
After a morning of phone calls - many of which were mostly spent 'on hold', Rory sighed and opened up a document containing the Stars Hollow Event calendar for the year which they were supposed to print. Mostly it was the same - Winter Carnival, Basket-bidding, movie festival and the others, but apparently this year Taylor had also insisted on some changes, which Rory was in charge of making. It was a trivial task. Esther could've done it with her minimal MS Word skills. Rory found herself imagining how round she'd be by the time of a particular town event or how she would miss having a cocktail at the Spring Fling. It was an exceptional year - a one of kind, for sure. Who knows, maybe one she would never have again.
Rory was pulled out of her foggy state of mind, dreamy but at the same time able to accomplish simple tasks on her laptop, by a knock on the window behind her, nearly jolting her heart to jump out of her body.
"Oh, Jesus!" Rory exclaimed, jumping slightly in her chair, as she recognized Jess. Knocking on the window really was kind of his thing, which on second thought Rory should've anticipated.
"You busy?" Jess asked, popping his head inside the office.
"Always a busy bee," Rory chimed.
"Got time for lunch? I brought some Briani," Jess suggested.
Rory was feeling spoiled - her dietary needs were really well taken care of in this town - pregnant or not. Lane, Luke, her mother, even Babette had brought her banana bread the other day and Taylor gave her employee discount on her ice cream shake the other day.
"You shouldn't have," Rory cooed, showing him the cheese and cucumber sandwich she'd brought from home that she had in her drawer. It looked like a sad little sandwich.
"Luke told me you'd moved on from the liquid version of bread from the bottom of your drawer," Jess commented, letting on he knew what was up.
"Ah, so you know," Rory replied, glanced down humbly, but avoided the topic by teasing him - "And isn't most scotch made from barley?"
"Fine-fine, it wasn't perfect. I admit!" Jess chuckled, and handed her the box of spinach and chicken Biryani.
"But, thank you," she said, accepting the food from him.
Rory continued to open the container and hungrily went for the first bite, while trying not to stare at Jess's biceps that he'd put significant effort into, that came into view from under his coat. There was a reason after all, why Rory had once developed such a crush on him. And now it was almost like it was an enhanced, less damaged version of him. Rory wasn't thinking of doing anything, or starting something, still thinking she had enough on her plate, but surely there was no harm in looking considering her hormones being all over the place.
"So, how's the book coming?" Jess asked, getting comfortable in the chair opposite to her.
"Um...," Rory mumbled, her mouthful giving her a moment to delay her answer. "Okay. Or well it was. I haven't had much time…," she added, feeling like she should be apologizing for some reason.
"How many chapters did you finish?" Jess inquired further.
"Five or six, five finished, sixth is…," she replied, gesturing with her hand how it was 'so-so'.
"Well, that's not too bad. Have you had anybody take a look?" Jess asked.
Rory nodded along, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "No, not yet," she replied.
"Not even your mom?" Jess asked with some surprise.
"She did get the first three chapters - but she didn't read it. Just said that she trusted me, basically," Rory recalled.
"Lucky," Jess replied, chewing his own food.
Rory knew what he meant - the mother-daughter relationship was definitely something Jess had in his own way envies - not the 'daughter' part obviously, but just the example that from hardship and unconventional upbringing could form something that was not centered around neglect and incompetence like he looked back on his own mother.
"I am not sure I'm going to have time to really finish it, so I'm just not sure there's a point, you know?" Rory discussed.
"There's always a point," Jess replied.
"What? What is the point?" Rory asked, teasing him.
"To get published. Get a big advance. You know, get some money in that bank account of yours," Jess chimed.
"Yeah, that's - what - like - 1 in a 1000 chance or something?" Rory squinted her nose.
"Or it could be just a writing sample to get you involved in some other projects," Jess added, biting onto a piece of chicken.
"What projects?" Rory frowned, not following what he was going on about now.
"Well…," Jess began, inhaling deeply. "A little birdie said you're looking for a job, something on the side of this grand adventure you've got going on here," he added, glancing around the deserted newspaper office.
"Luke doesn't really remind me of a 'little birdie'," Rory chuckled, finding something in this to laugh about.
"Well, you see. That's why I need your help. I'm obviously off my game. That's why I want you to be my editor," Jess suggested.
"Me?!" Rory reflected, not quite believing this.
"I'll do the publishing myself. I just need a pair of fresh eyes on what I'm working on," Jess explained.
"Okay, I guess I could give it a try," Rory said, skeptically. She'd read everything Jess had written and published - which by now were four novels and a collection of short stories, naturally she wanted to see what he was doing now.
"And I do actually intend to make sure you paid for this," Jess assured.
"Well, that's very kind," Rory replied.
"And if you want… I'm happy to take a look at yours. Only if you want, of course," Jess replied.
Rory just looked down at her food, only giving him a brief glance. But a small part of her was indeed really considering it. Maybe having Jess' book to work on, really was exactly what she needed - something more than just a job, something to do with someone who genuinely cared for her - even if the relationship was just friendship and she intended it to stay like that.
They continued to talk about the book and deadlines, giving Rory a feeling that she'd missed whilst she'd been in Stars Hollow again. She was actually putting her gray cells into good use. She was feeling useful, genuinely so.
What Jess didn't do, however, was ask about the fact that she was pregnant. He asked no questions about it, nor made any jokes, leaving Rory anticipating what he thought of it. Who did he think the father was? Other than adding a 'congratulations' on his way out of there that day.
AN: Thank you all who have been reading this and especially those who are actively commenting along. Love reading your input. But don't be discouraged about the other guys in Rory's life - each encounter is supposed to teach her something - some lasting longer than others. And Logan is doing what he think she wants right now, while meeting his own needs as much as he can. Sometimes it takes time and a different kind of interaction for something real to form.
