Adrift
Warning: Low Grade Sexual Content
Jason settled into the chair at his desk, the first virtual date with Kelsi since she went back to Juilliard about to begin. His laptop screen flickered to life, casting a cool glow across his face. He grinned as he logged onto their video call, seeing Kelsi already there, a happy twinkle in her eye. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders, a warm waterfall against the pale blue of her Juilliard sweatshirt. Even pixelated and miles away, she was still breathtaking.
"Hey, Gearhead," Kelsi chirped. "Ready for our super high-tech, totally romantic date night?"
"Hey, sweetheart, I was born ready," Jason announced, holding up a bag of trail mix. "Got my gourmet snacks and everything."
Kelsi wrinkled her nose playfully. "Trail mix? Seriously? Rasins are evil, you know." She brandished a bag of white chocolate-covered pretzels. "I, on the other hand, have excellent taste."
"Oh don't worry, I know you have a sweet tooth… In more ways than one." Jason countered, his gaze tracing the curve of her lower lip as she instinctively bit it to pin down a devious smile. He paused, letting the implication hang heavy in the air between them. "Even if you like chocolate that's not even chocolate." They bantered back and forth, the familiar teasing easing the ache of the distance between them.
"Alright, alright, let's get this show on the road. I've got your pick ready, good choice tonight, babe," Jason said.
"Thanks for putting up with my love of old movies," Kelsi replied, happiness flooding her face as he queued up the movie.
"Well this won't be like the time we watched Jaws unfortunately," he said, his voice a low rumble. "When you got so scared you climbed into my lap."
She laughed, the memory vivid in her mind. "Yeah, and then you..." She stopped herself, a blush tinting her grainy cheeks on the screen.
"And then I what?" he prompted, leaning closer to the screen.
"You know very well what you did," she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. "And I can't wait to do it again."
Jason only shook his head with a naughty grin and clicked play. They settled in with their snacks to watch Rear Window, the vibrant colours of Greenwich Village filling the screen. Grace Kelly's elegant wardrobe, the lush green of the courtyard, the fiery red of Miss Torso's dress – every detail popped with Technicolor brilliance. But even the captivating cinematography couldn't hold their attention for long. The pull of their unspoken desires was too strong.
Halfway through the movie, during a particularly tense moment, Kelsi's voice dropped to a husky whisper. "You know what I miss right now?"
Jason leaned closer to the screen. "What's that, Kels?"
"Your hands," she breathed. "Running through my hair... down my back..."
Jason's chest tightened. He chuckled, a warmth spreading through him that made him shift in his chair. "You're terrible," he said, his voice rough.
"Am I?" she purred, her eyes sparkling. "Or are you just easily distracted?"
"More like easily turned on, especially by you. I miss your hands on me too, Kels. Everywhere." He could feel his muscles tensing, some more than others.
Kelsi's eyes darkened. "It's cold out here at night, J. Wish I had the heat of your skin on mine tonight, your sweaty body pressed up against mine as we—"
"Don't do this to me, Kels," he cut her off with a groan, his body aching with need. "I can barely breathe just thinking about it."
"The way you bite my lower lip..." she continued with a sultry smile, "the way your fingers make me feel so good..."
"Fucking hell, Kels," Jason groaned, the tightness in his jeans growing more uncomfortable, "you're gonna make me jump on the next plane to New York…"
"Then what?"
"Then I'd kick down that door and give you the night of your life," he replied, his tone strained and frustrated at the potent arousal rushing through his whole body.
The conversation grew even more intimate, their words laced with longing, the language of lovers separated by miles. The movie was forgotten as they painted vivid pictures with their words, re-living past intimacies and anticipating future ones.
"Damn, Kels, you've gotta stop doing this to me. It's fun, but it still hurts in a few different ways."
"I'm sorry, Jason, I didn't mean to hurt you. Guess I enjoy our illicit conversations a little too much."
"It's alright, Kels, I like it too, to an extent. I just always forget to change out of my jeans and it gets a bit tight."
They shared a laugh at the implication, helping ease some of the tension of their disagreement. By the time the credits rolled, the thrill of the movie was a distant memory, replaced by a different kind of tension, a sweet ache of desire. They lingered online, reluctant to break the connection, their whispered words a prelude to the passionate reunion they both craved.
"Thanks so much for doing this with me, baby," Kelsi said softly, "I really appreciate it."
"Anytime, Kels," Jason said with a smile, "I know it's not perfect, but it's something until I get you back in my arms."
"I'm hoping for more than just that when I see you again," Kelsi replied with a wink.
He chuckled softly and waved her suggestive comments off. "Alright, you've tortured me enough for one night," he said, taking a deep breath to calm his mind and body. "I love you, baby, sweet dreams."
"You too, hun. I love you," Kelsi replied and blew him a kiss before signing off.
As Jason closed his laptop, the empty room felt colder, the silence heavier. But beneath the loneliness, a burning ember of longing glowed that needed to be cooled by a cold shower if he ever hoped to sleep tonight. He soon climbed into bed and heaved a heavy breath of anticipation. Soon, they would be together again, and the miles would melt away in the heat of their reunion.
The cavernous Juilliard theatre echoed with the tap of shoes against the worn wooden stage. Kelsi, perched on the edge of the grand piano bench as she played through the music, winced. The dancers, led by the ever-energetic Ryan, were struggling. Again.
"Hold, hold, hold!" Ryan called out, his voice cutting through the music. He ran a hand through his sweat-dampened hair. "Kelsi, it's just not working here. It's that transition into the chorus. The music feels…rushed."
Kelsi sighed, her fingers hovering over the keys. "Ryan, it's allegro. It's supposed to be fast."
Ryan bounded over to the stage's edge, and met Kelsi's gaze, a creative challenge sparkling in his eyes. "I know, I know. But the melody there, it's tripping everyone up. It's like trying to tap dance on a treadmill."
Kelsi frowned, her brow furrowing. She trusted Ryan's instincts, he had an uncanny ability to translate music into movement, but this piece was so close to her heart. "Can you give me an example? Show me what you're envisioning."
Ryan didn't hesitate. He leapt to his feet, his body suddenly a whirlwind of motion. He executed the sequence, his feet a blur, but his face contorted in concentration as he faltered on that troublesome transition. He landed with a flourish, but the frustration was evident.
"See?" he said, panting slightly. "It's like the music is fighting me."
Kelsi tapped her pencil against the score, a flicker of annoyance in her eyes. "Ryan, I appreciate the input, but this piece has a specific rhythmic structure. It's not just about the dance, it's about the underlying tension in the music reflecting the character's inner turmoil."
He walked towards her, a playful grin spreading across his face. "Come on, Kelsi. Don't be so stingy about it. We're all about collaboration here, aren't we? Just trust me on this one."
Kelsi shifted on her bench, staring for a long moment at her music as the wheels turned in her mind. "Okay, let me try something." She furrowed her brow at her sheet music, her fingers dancing over the keys, modifying the melody, adding a subtle pause, a slight shift in rhythm.
"Let's run it again," she said, her eyes meeting Ryan's.
He raced back to centre stage, the dancers taking their positions once more. The music swelled, and this time, Ryan executed the sequence flawlessly, his movements fluid and powerful. The dancers followed suit, their bodies now moving in perfect harmony with the music. A grin spread across his face as they finished the sequence.
"That's it!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with relief. "You're a genius, Kelsi!"
Kelsi laughed, a wave of warmth washing over her. "We're geniuses," she corrected him, a satisfied glint in her eye. "Now, from the top!"
The rehearsal continued, the energy renewed, the music and dance finally weaving together in perfect harmony. Kelsi watched, her heart swelling with pride. This was her dream, taking shape before her eyes. It showed exactly why she loved working with Ryan. They challenged each other, pushed each other to be better, and ultimately created something beautiful together. Their show, despite the occasional creative disagreement, was slowly but surely coming to life.
As they wrapped up practice, Ryan jumped down into the band pit to give Kelsi a warm hug. "Thanks for the collaboration again, Kelsi. This show is going to be amazing."
Kelsi smiled as she packed up her sheet music, the obvious hurry in her movements.
"You got some plans tonight?" Ryan asked with a sneaky grin.
"Yeah, I've got a big essay to finish, you?" Kelsi said, a slight blush coming to her cheeks.
"I'll be helping Tammy with some sorting in the costume room then we're going out for dinner. And I'm guessing you've got an incoming call from a certain guy too don't you?" Ryan added with a gentle shove at her shoulder which made her blush more.
"Yeah, Jason calls every night, so what?" she answered with a shrug.
"Oh you're just too cute over him Kelsi, I'm happy for you, really."
"Well you have a good night with Tammy too," she said with a wink as she threw her bag over her shoulder, "you're lucky she's here with you. Long distance sure sucks."
Kelsi was hard at work on her essay that evening when a message from Sharpay popped up on her phone.
OMG, guess who I just saw at the mall? Jason! And he was with some girl. They looked pretty cozy.
Kelsi's stomach dropped. With some girl? She quickly typed back.
What girl? Do you know her?
Nope, never seen her before. Short blonde hair, kinda sporty looking. Didn't get a pic, sorry! But they were definitely together. They were laughing and joking around, I saw him put his arm around her.
A wave of insecurity washed over Kelsi. Doubt crept in, whispering insidious suggestions. What if he's losing interest? What if he's met someone else? She tried to brush it off, but the image of Jason with another girl wouldn't leave her head.
Later that evening, when Jason called, Kelsi tried to sound normal, but the effort felt exhausting. Her head swam with the possibility that he might soon say goodbye to her. Even though there was no hint of it in his conversation, she still felt the pangs of worry over Sharpay's message.
"Hey, is something wrong?" Jason asked, picking up on her strange tone. "You seem kinda down."
"I'm fine," she mumbled, staring blankly at the wall "just have to get this big essay done tonight so I should probably go."
"You don't sound fine, babe. What's going on?" he pressed gently.
Kelsi hesitated. Should she ask him? She didn't want to get into a fight now, but the longer she kept it in, the more it ate at her. "Sharpay saw you at the mall today," she blurted out, her voice tight.
"Yeah, I was there. I was-"
Kelsi cut him off, "With another girl?" Silence. She could practically hear Jason's confusion through the phone.
"Well, yeah it was-"
"Another girl that you had your arm around. Laughing and joking. Looking cozy," she added, the words laced with hurt and worry.
"Kelsi," Jason said slowly, his voice strained in frustration, "are you gonna stop now and listen to me?"
"I don't know if I want to…"
"And why not?" he spat.
"Because I always worried this would happen… that you would find someone new."
"What the hell?! Are you serious right now, Kels? You think I was cheating on you?!"
"I... I don't know what to think. I'm so far away, we've been apart for longer this time and maybe you're getting tired of not having a girl in your bed."
"Damn it, Kelsi!" Jason exclaimed. "I was out with my cousin Kelly. She needed help with her car and then we grabbed some lunch while we were out."
The blood drained from Kelsi's face. Kelly?! That would explain why Sharpay didn't know her, the short blond hair being the only description she had provided.
"It… it was Kelly?" she whispered, shame burning in her throat. "Jason... I don't know what to say."
"You could start with sorry," Jason muttered. "Why didn't you just ask me about it? Why did you trust Sharpay, of all people, and jump to accusations?"
Tears welled up in Kelsi's eyes. "I guess…" she choked out, the tears arresting her voice, "I guess I just let my insecurities get the better of me. I worry, Jason, that you could be getting tired of waiting on me."
"Kelsi," Jason began, his voice soft but firm, "I can see how that would have looked bad, but if we're going to keep this working, we have to be able to trust each other and talk about everything. I would never cheat on you. You know that, don't you?"
Kelsi sniffed, wiping away a few tears. "I do, I'm so sorry I accused you. It's just... being so far away, and for so long this time... sometimes I get so nervous that you'd find someone else…"
"I get it," Jason said understandingly. "But we need to talk about those thoughts. If you're ever feeling insecure or worried about something, please just talk to me. Don't let things fester and turn into something they're not."
"I will," Kelsi promised, her voice thick with emotion. "I'm really sorry, Jason. I messed up."
"It's okay," he reassured her. "We all make mistakes. Let's learn from it, okay? Start with reminding yourself that you're the only girl I want. I've told you before that our relationship is more than the crazy sex. That's still true, it's all of you, Kelsi."
"Oh Jason," she sighed, sniffing back a stray tear, "you shouldn't have to be the one to make statements like you have to prove something. I was in the wrong, and I'm sorry that I didn't trust you. I was so stupid to think you would cheat on me, you're too good to me."
"Except when you don't want me to be," he said with a low chuckle that sent a shiver down her spine.
"Oh gosh, is this call about to get R rated?" Kelsi's breath hitched in her throat as she heard Jason breathe a deep sigh.
"You bet it is."
The faded duffel bag in front of Jason became a chaotic whirlwind, clothes landing with reckless abandon as he frantically packed his belongings. He quickly called Kelsi, determined to keep their usual evening call despite the little time he had.
"Hey, baby," she said, the happiness audible in her voice as she answered, "sounds like you're in a rush, is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I've gotta go for training again this week. This one is gonna be intense. Four days starting tomorrow, ten hours a day, all about hybrid diagnostics. Apparently, these new systems are really complicated," Jason explained, his voice a mix of excitement and frustration. He wedged his phone between his ear and shoulder, rushing to the bathroom for his razor and toothbrush.
Kelsi's voice, usually a source of warmth and laughter, became strained. "That's great, Jason. Really. But another course? So soon? You just got back from California, and Ohio before that…"
He winced. This was the third training course in two months that had torpedoed their precious virtual date nights. Ever since she'd left for Juilliard, these evenings of synced movie streams, whispered jokes, and virtual goodnight kisses, had become their lifeline.
"I know," he sighed, grabbing a hoodie to throw in the bag. "It sucks, but Mr. Thompson is really pushing this expansion thing, and he's relying on me and Luke to get up to speed on all this new tech. It's a big deal, Kels." Silence stretched between them, heavy with disappointment.
"It's just…" Kelsi's voice cracked slightly. "It feels like this time we have a big gap to fill, and you're filling it with a lot that keeps us disconnected. It's hard enough being apart, and these nights were…"
He closed his eyes, picturing her vividly – the way her nose crinkled when she laughed, the determined set of her jaw when she practiced a difficult piano piece, the way her eyes sparkled when she talked about music. He hated being the cause of the dullness in those eyes.
"I miss you big time, Kels," he said quietly, the words catching in his throat. "And I don't want to be messing up our nights. Between work, and all this new training, I barely have time to breathe. I'm really sorry, honey."
"I know," she said softly. "It's the same here. Juilliard is intense. This last term is brutal, and I barely have a moment to myself. But still, It feels like we're both living these separate, crazy lives, and we're…drifting."
The word hung in the air, sharp and cold. Drifting. He didn't want to drift away from her. He thought they had patched things up after their misunderstanding last month, but maybe not as he had hoped.
"We'll figure it out," he said, trying to inject a note of optimism he didn't quite feel. "We always do. Graduation isn't too far away now, babe. You'll be home soon."
"Yeah, I suppose," she echoed, but the words lacked conviction.
"What do you mean?" he asked, pausing his frantic packing.
A beat of silence hung on Kelsi's end, until she drew a deep breath. "Nothing, never mind," she said dismissively. "When does your flight leave?"
Jason hesitated, unsure if he should press the matter further. A quick glance at his phone for the time made the decision for him. "They booked me a red eye that leaves at eight for Boston, I've got about ten minutes to get out the door."
"Okay, let me know when you touch down in Boston then, I love you, J."
"I love you too, Kels. So much."
He hung up, the weight of the distance, the missed dates, and the unspoken anxieties pressing down on him. But for now it would all have to wait, he had a plane to catch.
Kelsi tapped her foot impatiently, stopping the metronome as she focused on the sheet music before them. Her student Emily, a first-year with an air of quiet intensity, was grappling with the complexities of Schenkerian analysis.
"Alright, Em, here's the thing about harmonic progressions," Kelsi began, her voice calm despite the growing pressure of her approaching interview that afternoon. "In tonal music, they tend to gravitate towards a root, like a hierarchy of tensions resolving to a state of rest." Emily nodded, her brow furrowed in concentration. Kelsi took in a deep breath, teaching Schenkerian analysis to someone who wasn't already steeped in music theory was a challenge, even at Juilliard.
"Maybe we can break it down a bit," she offered, sketching a basic triad on the staff. "See this root here in the bass? Now, Brahms cleverly obscures it with these..." she trailed off, circling the dense cluster of notes above the triad.
"Secondary dominants?" Emily ventured, a tentative hope in her voice.
"Precisely!" Kelsi beamed, relieved, "he's using these dominants to create a sense of harmonic instability, leading us all the way back to..." she paused dramatically, leaving a space on the staff for Emily to fill. Her eyes shone with triumph as her student filled in the blank staff with the root of the A minor chord. A wave of satisfaction washed over Kelsi, though only momentarily pushing her anxieties aside.
Her mind swirled with all the possibilities that had come crashing down around her in the past few weeks, tempting opportunities that threatened to tear her heart in two. A couple of her professors had expressed interest in interviewing her to be a TA, her command of the piano and songwriting abilities being above and beyond what they expected from a student. She couldn't help but feel a sense of pride in her work, but those positions meant staying at Juilliard, in New York, away from home… away from Jason. As if she didn't already feel far enough away from him, her own busy schedule and the extensive training he was participating in breaking up their precious shared moments one by one. It was what she'd feared, growing distance, gaps in their calls, but she had to stay focused and hold on to hope that the interview today would be her ticket home.
As the lesson wrapped up, she checked her watch, noon on the dot. It was time to run to make it to her interview. She made the quick trip back to her dorm, changing from her personal style of a bright blue top and white vest to a plain black blouse, providing her with the air of professionalism that she needed. Booting up her laptop, she waited patiently for the interviewer to log on, sipping water to calm her nerves. This was the interview she had been longing for, a chance to return to the place where her love of music had blossomed, a chance to teach at East High.
