Tags: [Alternative Universe] [Comedy] [Random] [Slice of Life]
Characters: [Pizza Pie] [Pinkie Pie] [Mrs. Cake] [Cake Twins]
Written By: The Killer Legacy
Note: Pizza Pie is a non-canon Pie sister from an April Fools Day post from Hasbro. The Killer Legacy wanted to do something with Pinkie Pie similar to "The Great Pinkie Pie Potty Training Adventure or Something", this is a way of trying to accomplish that.
"I still can't believe one of my clones actually escaped," Pinkie Pie said to herself as she trotted up to the diner in Manehattan where the one lone clone of hers from the Mirror Pool had allegedly been sighted. "Well, at least hopefully she'll agree that what I'm going to do with her is better than sending her back to the mirror pool like the others." She then pushed the diner door open, and headed inside.
Sure enough, sitting there on a stool near the countertop was a pony who looked exactly like Pinkie Pie in every way. The only difference was that she was wearing a mysterious black hat that had a horseshoe logo on it. And as was expected, she was currently scarfing down a huge, delicious ice cream sundae.
Seeing her double me was so surreal. Pinkie almost had to blink and rub her eyes to be sure she wasn't seeing things. But there was no mistaking it, it was indeed a clone of herself. How it had managed to escape Twilight and avoid being sent back was a mystery. That mystery wasn't what Pinkie had come here for, however. Something much more important was at stake, and she needed her double me's help with it.
The clone Pinkie, unaware of this development, was just continuing to eat her sundae. She seemed to have just as big an appetite as the pony she was a copy of. She only became aware of the presence of another when she felt somepony tap her on the shoulder. She turned around slowly, and found herself face to face with Pinkie Pie herself.
"I finally found you, Double Me!" Pinkie Pie beamed with happiness. "And boy am I glad I did."
The clone Pinkie flinched. "What do you mean?! You… you must have me confused with somepony else! I'm not you, you're not me!"
The real Pinkie giggled. "Aw come on, Double Me, there's no need to hide it. You're my clone, and you're not supposed to be here," She quickly climbed onto a stool next to her doppleganger and said. "Look, I only just found out about you a day ago. But I really, really, really need your help with something! It's something very important!"
"More important than this ice cream sundae I'm enjoying?" The clone questioned.
The real Pinkie nodded. "Yes, way more important than that," After glancing around the diner and making sure nopony else was around to hear her, she told her clone. "Mrs. Cake is potty training the twins, and they don't wanna cooperate. They don't wanna use the potty at all."
The clone blinked in reply. "I don't see how I'm supposed to help with that. I never met the twins or Mrs. Cake, remember? You just sent me out to hang out with your friends."
Pinkie groaned. "I know that! But I told you about them, and you had to have picked up a thing or two from just being me," She added. "Look, Mrs. Cake really wants the twins' potty training to go as smoothly as possible. But she can't do it alone. She thinks the twins need to see a demonstration from somepony to help them understand what they're supposed to do. That's where you come in, double me."
The clone of Pinkie protested. "What are you talking about?" She didn't seem to understand what the real her was implying or suggesting.
Pinkie Pie had to resist the urge to growl in frustration. Why was her double me being so dense? A sheepish blush crept onto her face as she explained. "She asked me if we could recreate the time when she and Mr. Cake were potty training me after I moved in with them. But the twins really look up to me. I'm like a big sister to them. And big sisters aren't supposed to be wearing diapers."
"Are you saying you want me to take your place and be the demonstration for the twins? Even have me put on a diaper?" The clone Pinkie questioned. "How is that supposed to help?"
"Just trust me, it'll all work out," Pinkie insisted with a smile. "Doesn't that sound better than being out here in Manehattan and being a nopony? If you're like me, you know how hard it is to have to be in the background and just blend in. Don't you wanna make other ponies smile?"
The clone looked up from her sundae. She appeared to still be very hesitant and unsure. "Well… I guess if you put it like that…"
Pinkie Pie didn't bother to wait for her double me to finish! She instead leaped up from her stool and took her clone by the hooves, causing her to drop her hat in the process! "Oh thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, Double Me! I promise, you won't regret this!" She quickly snatched up her doppleganger and said to her. "Come on, let's get you back to Ponyville! Oh, but first, I think we need to come up with a better disguise for you. I don't wanna make Mrs. Cake confused, or cause ponies to panic. They all think the mirror pool incident is a thing of the past."
So it was that, before setting off for Ponyville with her doppleganger, Pinkie Pie took the liberty of giving her clone a makeover. "We just need you to look less like me and more like somepony who's not me, but also somepony who could kind of pass for me. Now hold still, please."
The clone reluctantly obeyed, watching as the real her pulled out several canisters of spray paint, paint brushes, and a few cans of regular paint. "What are you doing?" She asked.
While shaking up one of the spray paint canisters, Pinkie giggled and replied. "I'm giving you a brand new look to go along with your new name, Double Me. Don't worry, this will only take a minute. You'll thank me for this later." And quick as a flash, she completely painted over her clone's pink coat and mane and tail. They were dyed bright and vivid shades of orange and yellow that loosely resembled the cheese on a pizza crust. Then she covered her clone's cutie mark of three balloons, painting instead a picture of a slice of pizza on both flanks.
When at last it was finished and the paint had settled, the clone didn't know what to make of her new look, not even when Pinkie showed her what she looked like in a mirror. "Tada! You! Look! Amazing!"
But all the clone could do was ask. "Who am I supposed to be, again?"
Pinkie Pie snorted and giggled while swishing her tail. "Oh, that's easy. You're Pizza Pie, my long, long, long, loooooooong lost cousin who totally looks like me except not really because she's not actually me! Sometimes, I amaze myself. Nopony will recognize you now. Your true identity will just be our little secret." She delivered the last line with a knowing wink.
"'Pizza Pie'? Really?" The clone groaned. "That's so silly and ridiculous."
"I know! That's the point!" Pinkie pointed out. "From now on, you're Pizza Pie, not Pinkie Pie. And don't worry, that paint's permanent. It's guaranteed to never wash off or fade no matter what. I made sure, I tested it on some cupcakes before I threw them away. So go ahead, embrace your new name and your new identity. And if anypony asks what your special talent is, just say you're a pizza baker who runs her own unique pizzeria, But nopony's gonna ask, because you're gonna be staying with me. We'll be the bestest of best friends!"
Pizza Pie could only sigh. "Guess I don't have a choice in the matter," And she resigned herself to her fate. "Fine, I'll play along. But if we get caught, I'm telling everypony it was your idea."
"Don't worry, that's never gonna happen!" Pinkie Pie insisted. "Now let's get back to Ponyville. And with your help, Pound and Pumpkin Cake will be pottying like pros!"
Mrs. Cake just sighed as she used a wet rag to clean up yet another puddle that her children had left behind. What was she doing wrong? They were at least two and a half years old now, the perfect time to start potty training. She had read and re-read every book she could consult on the subject, and had even asked a few ponies for advice. She'd thought for sure that Pound and Pumpkin Cake were ready, that they would come to accept the idea that they were no longer to wear diapers.
Alas, it seems her children thought otherwise. They hadn't used their potties once since she'd started the training. They either peed and pooped in their diapers, or on the few times when they were without diapers they just used the floors as a bathroom instead. And every time, no matter what they did, they giggled about it. To them, it was like it was just a game.
"Oh Pound Cake, Pumpkin Cake, why don't you wanna use your potties like good little ponies?" Mrs. Cake lamented to herself. "You can't be in diapers forever. And you can't just go potty on the ground, ponies don't do that anymore," She eventually finished cleaning up the stain, and washed her hooves. At least with the twins currently down for a nap, she had time to think about her recent decision. It hadn't even been a month yet and already she was beginning to have second thoughts about potty training her foals. "What am I going to do? How can I get you two to understand that using the potty is fun and easy?"
As if in answer to the plump baker's question, the front door of Sugarcube Corner burst open suddenly and dramatically! "Never fear, Mrs. Cake!" The familiar voice of Pinkie Pie declared in bold and dramatic fashion. "I have the perfect solution to your problem! Pound and Pumpkin's Cake potty protesting will soon be a thing of the past!"
Mrs. Cake blinked as she saw Pinkie come trotting in a moment later. "Oh, you're back. You just took off all of a sudden after you saw something in the paper yesterday," She then sighed, looking down at the ground. "Well, as you can clearly see, the twins still don't wanna use their potties, either for number one or number two. At this rate, I may just have to give up and wait until they're a little older. Carrot doesn't seem to think it's the end of Equestria if we don't get them fully trained until they're four."
But Pinkie shook her head from side to side, protesting the very idea. "You can't quit now, Mrs. Cake! You and I and Mr. Cake all agreed the time had come to teach the twins how big ponies go pee-pee and poo-poo. If we let them walk away from it now, they'll never want to give up diapers. They'll be the only foals in the kingdom still wearing them, even when they're old enough for school. And then they'll grow up teased and ponies will make fun of them because they don't know how to use a potty! We can't let that happen!"
Mrs. Cake sighed in visible frustration. "Well, how do you propose we get them to understand what they're supposed to do? Have you changed your mind about letting me recreate how Carrot and I potty trained you?"
The pink party pony protested. "Nu-uh, I still don't wanna do it. If I'm gonna be a big sister to the twins, I can't be seen in diapers. I mean, they already saw me in them once, but you weren't trying to potty train them then. And the first time I tried to train them it… didn't go so well." She blushed with embarrassment, recalling how what had seemed like a good idea to her had turned out to be anything but.
"Yes, Pinkie, I remember. You told me about it after your first time foalsitting the twins," Mrs. Cake nodded in reply. "And it doesn't seem like they really recall any of it, thankfully," She then questioned. "But if you're not going to be the demonstration, who is? Did you get one of your friends to agree? I'm not entirely sure the twins look up to any of them the way they look up to you."
With a giggle and a grin, Pinkie Pie said with a smile. "Oh, I found somepony a lot better than one of my friends. She's the answer to all our problems," She then motioned to the door, not so secretly whispering. "That's your cue."
"Oh. Okay." A somewhat shy, softer version of Pinkie's voice replied. And soon, a pony who looked almost exactly like Pinkie Pie came trotting in.
Mrs. Cake could hardly believe her eyes!
"Mrs. Cake," Pinkie said proudly. "Allow me to present my long, long, long, loooooooong lost cousin: Pizza Pie. She's from Manehattan."
Once the shock of the sudden arrival of this almost exact duplicate of Pinkie Pie had worn off, Mrs. Cake managed to extend a hoof out to this cousin of Pinkie's. "I-it's nice to meet you, um… Pizza Pie, was it?"
Pizza Pie blinked, almost as if she'd forgotten that that was her name. "Huh? Oh, y-yeah, that's me: Pizza Pie," She gave off a nervous laugh. "I'm one of those family members that were forgotten about because the Pies weren't very good record keepers. Pinkie found out about me just recently, and offered to let me stay with her in Ponyville for a while," She then added. "And uh… she seems to think I can help you with potty training your foals."
"Could you?" Mrs. Cake questioned, before suddenly the idea seemed to come to her! "Actually, this works out better than I could've hoped! You look almost exactly like Pinkie Pie! If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were a copy of her somehow. But that would be ridiculous."
Pizza Pie gave off another nervous laugh. "Yeah… that's just silly. Ponies can't make copies of themselves," She looked to the plump baker. "So… what exactly do you want me to do? I don't have a lot of experience with foals, especially twins."
Mrs. Cake simply smiled. "That's okay. You don't have to have a lot of experience to help teach them about the potty. After all, if experience made a difference, I wouldn't be feeling so out of my league right now trying to train the twins," And she pulled Pizza Pie aside, explaining. "The thing is, your cousin Pinkie Pie came to live with Carrot and I when she was just a foal herself. And that was kind of a problem, because when she lived on her family's rock farm, she almost never wore diapers. They apparently didn't have indoor plumbing, so they just used rocks in the field for bathrooms. But Pinkie thought that because of that, it meant she could go potty wherever she wanted to. Obviously, she couldn't."
"Yeah, turns out ponies kind of frown on that," Pinkie pointed out. "Luckily, Mr. and Mrs. Cake made potty training not only easy, but also lots and lots of fun! It was one of the funnest times of my life! And I'm sure Pound and Pumpkin Cake will feel the same way, they just need somepony to help teach them the right way to do it."
"I was planning to recreate that experience with Pinkie Pie so that the twins could learn from her," Mrs. Cake continued. "But she said she didn't want to do it. She actually tried to train them once, and I think she's afraid of messing up again. Plus, she says she wants the twins to look up to her, like a big sister. So I was thinking we could use you instead, Pizza Pie. You can be the role model that'll teach the twins what to do and what not to do."
Pizza Pie nodded very slowly, coming to an understanding about what was expected of her. She still saw fit to ask. "Does this mean I'll have to wear…" She gulped. "Diapers?"
Mrs. Cake seemed to suppress a goofy grin. "Just for a little bit. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? You obviously were potty trained too."
Pizza Pie admitted. "Yeah, more or less. I mean, doesn't everypony learn how to use the potty eventually?"
The plump baker nodded in agreement. "They most certainly do. And with your help, we can make sure Pound and Pumpkin Cake won't be the exception. Now come on, let's get everything set up and go over your role before the twins wake up."
Pinkie watched as Mrs. Cake led Pizza Pie away. "Best of luck, dou… I mean cousin!" She called out. And only once Mrs. Cake was out of sight did she breathe a sigh of relief. "Looks like she bought it." She said it to herself.
A short time later, Mrs. Cake had somehow managed to procure a diaper large enough to fit a full grown pony, and had taped it to Pizza Pie's rump. "Pound and Pumpkin once played a prank on Pinkie Pie," She explained. "Pumpkin somehow managed to inflate a diaper and make it big enough to fit around Pinkie's rump. She couldn't get it off, so she had to spend the rest of the day wearing it. Luckily for us, I decided to hold off on potty training the twins for at least a few months after that. But I held onto this diaper because I thought it would come in handy. And it did."
Pizza Pie sighed, looking at the padded undergarment. "So, I just have to wear this thing until you take it off? I don't have to use it?"
Mrs. Cake nodded. "Of course not. I really don't want to have to change any more diapers right now!" She then patted Pizza Pie on the head. "Just do it like we rehearsed and follow my lead. With a little luck, we cure my children of their unwillignness to use the potty." And with that, she led Pizza Pie to the twins' nursery, ready to put her plan into action.
Pound and Pumpkin Cake were unaware of anything that had transpired since they had been set down for a nap. So when they were roused from sleep by their mother, they suspected nothing out of the ordinary as they sat up in their crib. "Hi, Mommy!" They cheerfully greeted.
"Hello, my sweet little angels!" Mrs. Cake cooed as she checked their diapers. "It looks like neither of you need a diaper change right now. That's good."
"Uh-huh. Ya just changed us befowe ouw nappy." Pound Cake pointed out.
Pumpkin Cake then blinked, eyeing the stranger standing next to her mother. "Mommy, who tat?" She asked. "She wooks wike big sissy."
"That is Pizza Pie, she's a cousin of Pinkie Pie," Mrs. Cake explained. "And she's here to help teach you two about the potty and how big ponies are supposed to use it."
The twins groaned and let out sighs of annoyance. "Not tis again!" They complained. They had already received this exact same lecture from their mother, their father, their big sister, and at least a half dozen or so other ponies. They were in no desire for a repeat lesson.
"Hey you guys, don't be like that!" Pizza Pie pleaded. "Your mommy's right, you need to start using the potty. Everypony uses the potty at some point."
"Nu-uh!" Pound protested. "Ya weawing a diapee! Ya not potty twained!"
"Yeah!" Pumpkin chimed in. "Mommy and Daddy say that onwy ponies who not potty twained have to weaw diapees."
Mrs. Cake smiled as she scooped the twins out of their crib and set them on the floor of their nursery. "You're quite right, children. Pizza Pie here is not potty trained."
Pizza Pie blinked, and then froze in horror! "Wait, I'm not?!" When Mrs. Cake shot her a look, she corrected. "I mean… yeah, of course I'm not! I'm just like Pinkie Pie when she moved in with your mommy and daddy! She wasn't potty trained then either."
The twins gasped, exchanging mutual looks of disbelief! "Weawwy? Big sissy weaw diapees when Mommy and Daddy take hew in?"
"Uh-huh," Pizza Pie explained as she showed off her padded posture. "Except, she didn't really want to wear it. She hardly ever wore one when she lived with her mommy and daddy on a rock farm. They used rocks as their potty, and Pinkie thought going potty on the floors was acceptable too," She proceeded to rip off the diaper after Mrs. Cake gave her the encouragement to do so. "But that was a no-no. You can't go pee-pee or poo-poo on the floors, ponies don't like it when you do that. What would be the point of potties if ponies just peed and pooed on the ground all the time?"
Pound and Pumpkin Cake blinked. They apparently had never thought of it like that before. Like so many other things grown-ups told them, it seemed to make perfect sense in their little minds. Grown-ups were never wrong.
Pizza Pie continued, bouncing around the nursery. "Of course, Pinkie Pie didn't know that wasn't okay. So she just kept doing it, and made your mommy and daddy chase after her to put a diaper on her every time. And sometimes, they weren't able to stop her from going potty on the floors. You know, like what you two have been doing sometimes. And if it wasn't okay for your big sister to do it, it's not okay for you two to do it either. Do you get it?"
The twins nodded quite slowly. So far, it seemed like they were processing the information in the way their mother had intended.
Mrs. Cake then began explaining. "So, because your daddy and I were tired of having to always clean up after Pinkie Pie and didn't feel like having to fight her every time she had to put on a diaper, we decided that we had to potty train her. We taught her exactly what we taught you too," With a smile, she brought forth a well worn training potty and placed it on the ground so that the twins could see it. "This is the potty we used to help Pinkie learn how to go potty like a big pony. She doesn't use it anymore, but Pizza Pie is going to show you how Pinkie used it when she was just starting out."
So Pizza Pie made her way over to the training potty and sat down on it, blushing a bit at how childish she felt doing this. "So I just sit on, and sit there, and sit there, and sit there. Sometimes, I go pee-pee or poo-poo right away. Sometimes it takes me a while. And sometimes, I don't have to go potty at all. But that's okay. What matters most is that I try."
"And whenever she does go potty," Mrs. Cake went on as she helped Pizza Pie to stand. "Your daddy and I help her to wipe up. Then we take the training potty into the bathroom so that we can empty it into the toilet, which flushes it all away. Then we set the potty back down until it is needed again, and wash our hooves in the sink."
With a smile on her face, Pizza Pie proclaimed. "So do you guys get it yet?! Do you see what you're doing wrong and how to do it right? Because when you do it right, potty training is fun and easy, and also totally safe."
Pound and Pumpkin Cake gave each other glances, apparently trying to process all the information they had just received. Granted, much of it was stuff they already knew. But to hear it repeated to them in such a fashion, to know that their big sister had once been just like them, it seemed to stir a realization deep inside of them.
"Me want to twy using the potty now!" Pound Cake insisted as he eagerly started jumping up!
"Me wanna twy too!" Pumpkin Cake chimed in! "It wooks wike so much fun!"
"Then why don't we try it right now, my little ponies?" Mrs. Cake asked as she took the twins by the hoof and led them to the bathroom nearest their nursery.
A short time later, Mrs. Cake came out of the bathroom shouting triumphantly! "It worked! It really worked! Pound and Pumpkin Cake finally used the potty like big ponies! Oh, Pizza Pie, thank you so so SO much! If Pinkie Pie hadn't found you and brought you here when she did, I don't know what I would've done."
Pizza Pie just sighed, wiping the sweat from her brows. "It was nothing, really. I'm just glad I could help. When Pinkie gets a good idea, she really gets a good idea."
Just then, Pinkie Pie came bouncing in. "Did I hear right? Did the twins finally start using the potty?"
Mrs. Cake practically jumped for joy! "Oh Pinkie, I wish you'd have been there to see it! They sat right down after I took off their diapers. They didn't make a fuss or anything. And they sat there perfectly until they peed and pooed right into their training potties. Even the flush didn't phase them like I thought it would. With a little luck, our potty training problem will soon be a thing of the past," She paused and wiped a tear from her eyes. "Oh, they're growing up so fast. Not even three years old, and they're already getting the hang of potty training."
With a smile and a grin, Pinkie Pie then proposed. "Hey, you know what this calls for?!"
"What, Pinkie?" Mrs. Cake asked, even though she knew what the answer was.
Putting her hooves together and making a shower of confetti pour out from them, Pinkie proclaimed! "A party! We can throw one as soon as Mr. Cake gets back! Boy, will he be surprised to learn how quickly we turned things around for the twins," She turned to Pizza Pie. "And it's all thanks to you!"
"W-well… how could I say no to helping the most adorable foals in all of Equestria?" Pizza Pie sheepishly replied. "It makes me wish my own potty training had been as fun as yours."
That statement struck Mrs. Cake as most odd. "Oh, did you not enjoy your potty training, Pizza Pie?"
Pizza Pie put a hoof to her chin. "I can't really remember what my training was like."
For a moment, the plump baker stood there in confused silence. Then she said in a completely unconcerned tone. "Oh I get it. Your potty training was so long ago that it's hard for you to recall it. That's okay. Some ponies are like that. Pinkie just remembers her training because Carrot Cake and I made it memorable. And I hope we can do the same for the twins going forward. I want them to remember the time they spent getting out of diapers as a good time, something they wanted to do rather than something they had to do. Do you get it?"
"Yeah, I think I do." Pizza Pie admitted as she saw Pinkie Pie shoot her an approving smile. Pinkie's idea had worked like a charm. Of course, there will still be a few bumps along the way, but she and Mrs. Cake knew it'd be worth it in the end.
