Chapter 9
Vae Victus
"Woe to the conquered"


TW: This chapter deals with mature depictions of sexual assault.


"I believe there are monsters born in the world to human parents."
-East of Eden


In the beginning, her body burned with the bruises and hits that they'd inflicted on her, but now, it was her legs and her back that ached and throbbed. She stumbled on a rock under her shoe, but the noose around her neck kept pulling her forward.

Her arms were bound to her sides, preventing her from pulling the rope off. Unfortunately, these men were smart enough to learn from their past mistakes. It wasn't like she'd even managed to get very far, just past the tree line before they caught her. She winced at the sharp twang in her hip. It was bruised there as well. Their retributions were thorough to say the least.


The ropes tugged on her wrists as she followed the cart. As soon as she'd regained consciousness, they shoved her off the cart and used another short length of rope as a lead around her neck. Tied in a noose, he made sure that it was almost too tight before urging the horses to keep moving. She had no choice but to follow. That first night—that first night they'd restrained her against the cart, facing the fire. At least that kept some, albeit very little, of the night chill away. If anything it allowed her to see, but that was the only real comfort they allowed her and even then, they corrupted that too.

They'd made her walk all day that first day, and then when they stopped to make camp, they merely tied her hands over her head against the cart, the act of raising them digging a pain deep into her sides.

"Aren't you going to let me rest?" She asked, feet aching from standing all day.

"You can rest when we get to the next village."

"It won't be too much longer. Just a few days." The driver laughed at his own statement, at a joke that only he got.

"Yeah, you can rest on your back as much as you'd like!" Both men roared with laughter, and Kagome leaned her head back against the cart. Her ribs were no better and being forced to walk behind a cart hadn't made them hurt any less. She was exhausted, and her head was throbbing again. She just wanted to sleep for a long, long time.

But when he stood in front of her and began manhandling her, like he owned her, she wasn't about to go down without a fight.
She fought, fought as hard as she could, kicking, screaming, snapping her teeth at anything of theirs with reach. Her wrists twisted so hard against the ropes that blood ran down her arms, soaking into the white of her sleeves. But she managed to draw blood too, sinking her teeth hard enough into the soft flesh of his hand between his thumb and pointer finger. She relished the feel of her teeth puncturing and latched down, trying to lock her jaw like a bulldog. He howled, pulling at his hand, and when she refused to let go, growling at him for all she was worth, he landed a solid punch to her head and then wrapped his hands, bloodied and not, around her throat and held it until she thrashed, gasping for air. Black and white spots filled her vision as she kicked her leg out at him, but the hits were feeble; he was too close, and she was weak and not a brawler. She'd always relied on others to do her fighting.

And now that reliance was going to destroy her.

He let go before she passed out, an unfortunate circumstance. She gasped and coughed, whimpering at the sharp stings of pain coursing through her chest. His hand groped along her sides and drifting upwards under her shirt. She kicked her leg up, hoping to meet some soft, sensitive parts; she made contact with one good sharp kick. It was right on the bruise covering the length of her shin, but the resulting twang was worth every bit when he cried out and crumpled to the ground, groaning and cursing her. The other man showed up, the driver, and she swallowed as he looked at his accomplice on the ground holding his crotch and then at her. His eyes narrowed, and she swallowed thickly, shifting her feet beneath her. He let out a low sigh of exasperation, and she glanced between them, shifting on her feet.

"You know, I have a feeling that you're going to be more trouble than you're worth, girl."

"My name is—"

The hard backhand caught her off guard, made her eyes water and her nose run.

"I don't care." Her eyes widened as he stared her down. They didn't care. She meant absolutely nothing to them, who she was became a mere footnote that was ignored, glanced over, deleted from the final draft. Her eyes widened as he turned away and helped the other man up to his feet and back to the fire. He resettled, and she thanked whomever was watching over her that she was granted a reprieve, that she hadn't been strangled to death for someone to find.

She grimaced internally at the thought of the others finding her body. Of Inuyasha having to tell her mother that she was dead. Would he take her body home? Or would he bury her on this side of the well?

She stood, shifting her weight, feeling the numbness seeping into her limbs. The collar around her neck keeping her from moving into a more comfortable position, and quite frankly, she was afraid if she did fall asleep that she would strangle herself to death.

But then the driver came back, dragging her to the other side of the cart, away from the fire and the comfort of the light and retied her to the cart. The ties weren't as tight as before, and so she took the opportunity to relax her arms as much as was allowed, letting some of the circulation back into them. They tingled with pins and needles and she flexed her fingers to restore feeling in them.

"I don't like being watched," he said, leaning in so close that his breath washed over the side of her face. She closed her eyes, trying to imagine herself anywhere else.
Grabbing her injured shoulder, she cried out, a pathetic noise, as he flipped her around so that she was facing the cart.

"Harder to move this way too," he commented as his hand drifted up her backside, moving her skirt aside. She tried to move, to twist herself back around, to fight him away. But his weight pressing her against the cart prevented any movement whatsoever; she simply had no hope of saving herself. His hand cupped her bare ass, and the other hiked her leg up awkwardly; the skin on skin contact making her flesh crawl and pebble. She strained against his grip, trying to lower it and pull away, but he gave a sharp jab, knocking her head into the cart with enough force to make her dizzy. And then, he simply forced himself upon her.

Kagome Higurashi is not one for self-loathing and pity parties.

That's what she told herself at least.

She'd cried after he'd finished and kept crying.

"Would you stop your belly aching?" The other man shouted. She flinched, but then righteous indignation roared through her. How dare they tell her to stop crying!

"I'll stop crying when I feel like it!" She shouted back at them. But then the sounds of someone standing and moving towards her made her realize the grievousness of her mistake. These weren't demons. They were men. Mortal men. She had no weapons to fight them off. Her reiki was useless, not that she really knew how to use it other than wielding sacred arrows and purifying the one singular youkai.

And then he was there, in her face.

"What did you say?" He asked, and she pressed herself back against the cart. She swallowed the ball in her throat, feeling it sink into her stomach. He grabbed her throat again, squeezing just enough to make it painful but not completely cutting off her air supply. "Say it again, girl. I dare you."
She stared at the man before her.

He was a mortal man. But that was all he was.

Kagome Higurashi had stared down demons with more power than he could ever dream to achieve. Kagome Higurashi was not going to be afraid of a man.

"I'll stop crying when I feel like it." She enunciated each syllable and consonant just so he knew that she was not afraid of him. She was not willing to back down. She would not submit. Not to either of them, but never to him.

He raised his fist and brought it down.

By the time he was done, he was winded from the exertion. He spat in her face and disappeared from her shrinking range of vision as her eye began to swell shut. She felt the saliva and phlegm slide down her chin.

Her breath rattled in her chest, and she struggled with keeping herself upright, her limbs slipping out from under her as she internalized her groans of pain and discomfort.

Kagome Higurashi did not feel very brave at that moment.


They rose well after the sun did. Inuyasha would've been up her butt about leaving this late, but they just dilly-dallied around the campsite all morning. Smelling breakfast made her stomach growl and cramp; she hadn't eaten anything in days and smelling it now made her all the more hungry for it. But more problematic was how her bladder was setting off alarm bells with its growing desire to be relieved of its burden.

She waited until they were done eating, trying to poise her request at the most convenient time.

"I need to pee," she said loudly and in as polite a tone as she could manage; her lip was so swollen that it distorted her words slightly . "Please," she added after a moment. Her right eye was swollen shut, and she could taste blood when her tongue ran over the soft flesh. It tasted like a lot.

There was silence from the men, and she strained to hear anything from them. One of them walked towards her, and she turned her head towards the sound, trying to see who was coming. The driver appeared in her minimized line of sight, and she held her breath, flinching as he reached behind her head. The rope fell slack and she hissed as her arms fell back in front, but the continuous stretch of being restrained has a sharpness to it and her arms felt useless and limp. He shoved her away from the trees and retied her to the cart and looped the noose back around her neck.

He snapped the reins and the cart lurched forward, tugging her with it. Standing hurt, but moving at least allowed the pain to rotate through her feet. The act of raising one foot up gave a moment's respite. Staring at the tie to the cart, she noticed that the length of rope around her wrists and hands was coming loose; tugging experimentally, she saw that it was in danger of coming loose completely from the cart. One good hard yank made her wince as the rope burned against the raw skin of her wrists, but it pulled the rope loose. She dug her fingers under the noose around her neck and pulled it loose and over her head. It fell to the ground, and she stopped moving. The realization that she was free took a moment to settle in, but then she darted for the trees. She threw her bound wrists in front of her face as she ran through the brush, not taking any care to avoid the brambles that scraped up her legs and any other exposed skin.

She was free! Free! She just had to put enough distance between them, and then she'd be okay.

The ropes around her wrist snapped to the side, tripping her up, and sending her tumbling to the ground. Her wrists jerked from the direction that she'd come from, and the sinking feeling intensified as she realized that they were dragging her back. She dug her knees into the ground and pulled back against the rope.

"No! I'm not going back!" She pulled back as harshly as she could. The sound of something rushing through the trees made her struggle even more, but even as her wrists bled, the rope didn't give any more slack than she already had. "No! You can't make me!"

"Stop your shouting, girl!" The man stood before her, grabbing her rope and pulling her harshly to her feet. "Stop it!"

"No!" She shouted, pulling back against him. "I won't!"

He growled, pulling once, and when she continued to resist, he grabbed her hair and threw her to the ground, falling on top of her, his knee landing directly on top of her hip. She screamed and something in her spine popped.

"I said stop it!"

"No!" She sobbed. His hand clutched her throat and the other struck anything that it could reach.

When he was done, he took the rope and dragged her back through the brush and brambles towards the road.

"Going to be useless by the time we get there," he muttered.

The driver was waiting for them, and when she broke through, he was quick to haul her up and throw her torso over the back of the cart. Hands looped the noose back over her head, and a body pressed her pelvis against the edge of the cart.

"Now," he started as his hand gripped a fistful of hair and craned her head back towards his voice. She swallowed the dry lump that took up residence there now.

"We're going to be a good girl, aren't we? Or am I going to have to teach you a lesson?" He thrust his hips against hers, and she shook her head.

"I'll be good," she whispered. He pulled away, but just enough so that he could wrap a piece of leather around her arms, pinning them to her side.

"Don't want you getting any ideas, girl," he said, tying it tight around her middle and then stalking off towards the cart.

It started moving again, and she followed, obediently, and with an obvious limp.

She didn't mention that she could hear them talking, and they might not have cared.

"Do you think it's even worth taking her to the teahouse? We're not going to get anything for her."

"What're you thinking? Just dump her on the road?"

"It would be clean. And we don't know if she'll even take her in this condition."

"It's only a couple more days. If we leave her in the woods, the animals will just finish her off. Won't be anything left but bones. Villagers can't get too upset about that."

"Do you think she was serious about being a priestess? I don't want a shrine coming after us."
The other man scoffed.

"A little late for that to be a concern, don't you think?" He drank something from a bottle. "Besides, how would they even know it was us?"

The driver shrugged in response, and they both shared a laugh.

Kagome walked the rest of the way in silence, listening to their banter and the horrid squeaking wheel. She was honestly nothing to them. At least Naraku had the decency to know her name and just choose to not call her by it.


Men, she decided, were the one thing that she feared more than youkai. Youkai were expected to be these terrible demonic creatures, commit terrible and unspeakable acts, and everyone acted like humans were supposed to be the better. Youkai were evil incarnate, and humanity the purest expression of good.

She understood why Inuyasha trusted no one. Kagome had always 'Anne Frank'-ed her perceptions of people. Everyone had the capability of good, right? Even youkai were capable of doing great and wonderfully good things, just look at Inuyasha, and Kirara, and Shippo, and Jinenji. They were good and youkai! She'd trust any of them with her life!

Honestly, even Sesshomaru wasn't that bad! He took care of Rin, because Jaken wasn't capable of taking care of anyone or anything other than himself. That in itself was even questionable.

But now, she wasn't so sure she could maintain her own belief in the innate goodness of anyone, youkai or human.

Kagome Higurashi wasn't sure she could believe in the fundamental goodness of the world anymore.


Kagome swore to herself, upon her own grave, that if anyone ever asked, she would never, ever speak of the second night.

She could still feel the hand around her throat, holding her in place, nearly pulling her arm out of socket.

And no matter how hard she screamed, no one came to save her.

Maybe that was the worst part.

But she moved as the cart moved, head hanging low to allow for more leniency within the noose. Her legs trembled under her, barely able to manage lift themselves up enough to clear the ground, causing her to stumble more than once.

The sound of a coarse wheezing breath drew her attention until her own lungs burned so much that she realized the horrible death rattle came from her. Her left leg buckled, and she tumbled to the ground, the noose tightening as it still pulled her behind the cart. The rocky path like claws digging into the soft flesh of her legs.

Maybe she would get lucky, and they wouldn't notice that she'd fallen.

But the thought was gone just as quickly as she was.


She was on her stomach; she knew this because it put pressure on her ribs, which honestly was just another pain, another ache, she could barely remember a time when she didn't just suffer.

A rock stared back at her, spoke to her, urged her to grab it from where it had been displaced from the wheel of the cart. There were trenches in the road. It was a medium sized rock. It fit nicely in her hands. Not too small, not too big. The Goldilocks of road rocks. It spoke to her. Begged her to hold it. So she did. Held it more carefully in her rope burned and bound wrists, the smoothness of the stone a pleasant friction against her fingers.

Hands flipped her over, digging in at her shoulder and her hip, and with strength she didn't know she had left, she swung her arms in an arc and crashed the thin edge of the rock into the man's face.

Blood sprayed and he howled from where he'd began to position himself between her legs.

Now free, she crawled to her feet and ran into the trees.

She was going to make it! She was free, a panting laugh escaped her as she ran, full tilt into the trees.

The low thud and sharp roar of pain in her thigh collapsed her into the soft green underbrush. The lily pad looking leaves bent under her weight, and she looked down at her thigh to see the tip of an arrow sticking out. The driver came into her line of sight and stared down at her, bow slung over his shoulder.

She still held onto her rock. It had saved her once.

He saw it, eyes narrowing at what she clutched in her hands. Before she could move, he knelt down and pried it out, and she let him take it.

"Knew you were too much trouble. Should've killed you like we'd planned last night." He sighed heavily as though her life was an inconvenience to his own.

"You could let me go," she whispered. He could. Just leave her here. She wouldn't tell a soul. He could just leave.

"No, it's too late for that, isn't it?" He turned the rock over in his own hands, blood smattering his fingertips. He turned his gaze back to her.

"You don't even know my name," she whispered back. And he shook his head, another sigh escaping his lips, like he was bothered that he'd have to wash his hands to get the blood off. "You should know my name."

"Don't matter what it is, really."

She mattered so little. Her life meant so little in the end. How long had it been since someone had called her by her name? Her real name?

She'd always thought that she'd be old and surrounded by loved ones, that it would be peaceful—her eyes drifted up to her executioner. Worst case scenario, she went down with the ship, taking Naraku with her when she went. She wasn't completely naive; she knew it was dangerous here. She knew the quest, the mission, could end up costing her everything. She knew that it could become her swan song.

At least no one would find her like this. That was something to take solace in, right? She would just disappear, a memory in their lives, hurt that would fade with time. Inuyasha could have Kikyo with no regrets, they could finish the jewel, defeat Naraku, love each other eternally like they were meant to do. And she would disappear, like ashes and dust blown away into the wind.

Maybe they thought she was already dead, drowned in the river, her body washed out to sea. That death was indefinitely preferable to this one.

Kagome Higurashi did not want to die, but Kagome Higurashi was already dead.

He raised the rock and brought it down, sending her off into the empty shores of the great sleep.

And for the first time in her life, Kagome Higurashi did not want to wake up.