Chapter 16
Serva me servabo te
"Save me and I'll save you"


"Ill armed and half starved,
they were still desperate men,
to whom danger had lost all fears:
for what was death that they should shun it
to cling to such a life as theirs?"
The White Company


They were all trying so hard to be gentle when dealing with her that it would only make her love them more. But what she really wanted and needed was for everything to just go back to the way things were before.

She wanted to see something other than concern and fear in their eyes.

Sango never left her side and always gently touched her, and she spoke softly. Honestly, Kagome didn't know what she'd do without her.

Miroku never came within her personal bubble, which he seemed to define, but he kept his hands to himself. He acted more like a big brother to her, clearly concerned and worried about her.

Inuyasha merely disappeared into the trees and stayed hidden until it was time to move.

She knew that it was taking a long time for them to travel, and it was all because of her.

She let out a soft sigh as she scanned the branches, looking for any sign of red and silver, but there was none.

It was morning, so Sango had her resting against Kirara's side, who took Kagome using her as a chair rather well, and changed her bandages.

"These look so much better. I'm so glad." She smiled and tied off one of the bandages and flashed her a congenial smile as she continued to work. Miroku faced the fire, his back towards them, obviously giving her some privacy.

"That is good news, Kagome," he added. "I'm sure we are all relieved." His head turned towards the branches at his left and Kagome followed his gaze, but there was nothing there. She let out a small exhale as Sango pulled her clothes back into place.

"Okay, do you feel up to traveling yet?" She asked, and Kagome gave a nod. "Good!" She began packing up the medical kit, which was starting to look a little threadbare in terms of supplies, as well as the rest of their belongings. No matter how often Kagome tried to help, Sango batted her hands away or insisted that Miroku keep her company and distract her from any other attempts at maintaining the camp; sadly, it usually worked.

They both helped her back onto Kirara. Her feet were no longer as sore, but they still ached more than they should, and her legs were much stronger under her. She grimaced as she contemplated the idea of nerve damage.

Inuyasha appeared just at the edge of camp as they were dusting out the fire pit.

"Ready?" He grumbled and marched back through the trees.

He's so angry.

Kagome let out a soft sigh as Sango walked next to her with Miroku on the other side. Neither one was willing to let her walk on her own, and she didn't mind riding Kirara, especially since walking around in her back up shoes was still a little uncomfortable. She'd packed them as a worst-case scenario, but she'd always hated them because they were too stiff and hard and no matter how many ways she tried to stretch them out, they never became any more comfortable.

But at least she had shoes, she'd hate to wander through Feudal Japan without footwear of some kind.

Kagome stared at a flock of birds passing by overhead, squawking as they went. She tried to keep herself distracted, otherwise she contemplated things, and that only made Inuyasha glower at her. So, she stared at the sky and tried to avoid looking at him.

She only looked down when Kirara's gait hitched for a moment.

Inuyasha's back had gone ramrod straight ahead of them, and he'd paused as he stared at the trees to their left, ears pricked forward, eyes scanning the dark shadows. It was a scene she'd witnessed one too many times before.

Something was coming.

Nothing good came from that stance, and she didn't know if she was ready for another fight.

At least there were no cliffs this time.

"Inuyasha?" Sango asked already reaching back for Hiraikotsu. She too stared at the trees, watching.

He gave a brusque gesture for them to stay put and to be quiet. He crouched, hand reaching for his sword, when the trees burst open, trunks flying like confetti as a boar youkai, massive in size and stature, tackled him to the ground before he could draw. The tusks themselves were enormous, and it let out an ear-piercing squeal as it tried to gore him into the ground over and over.

Her breath caught in her throat as she almost called his name.

A second one burst from the foliage just in front of them, knocking Kagome off of Kirara's back as she dodged a large piece of brush, sending her falling into Miroku. Sango was already swinging and letting the boomerang fly through the air, though the target dodged letting loose another squeal that made Kagome cover her ears.

"Kagome?!" Sango called.

"I've got her! Kirara, go!" Miroku had come up behind her, wrapping his arm securely around her waist and dragging her back, away from the fight and towards the trees closest to them. Kagome's fingers gripped his arm as he made them duck from another flying branch. Bark and splinters sprayed over them.

Inuyasha was having a hard time. The boar was in such close quarters that he was making it near impossible for him to draw his sword, forcing him to resort to claws and brute strength. The other was fighting off Sango, and though he was smaller, it was no less of a fight, even with Kirara helping.

A sharp twist of his face, and his tusks grazed Kirara's flank, drawing blood.

Miroku pulled her back again, whipping them around as a tree trunk speared the earth where they'd been standing a moment before.

"You're okay?" He asked her, and she nodded against his robes. "He was aiming right for us." His head jerked to the right, facing the direction of the trees across the road and Kagome had a sinking feeling as they, too, began to move. He let go of her and moved in front, shielding her with his own body as he began to chant, setting up a barrier.

She took a step back and the only motion she got was a slight turn of the head and his voice warning her, "Stay close."

She wanted to run, everything in her body was telling her to flee, even if she wouldn't get far. She wasn't ready for this.

Her heart jackhammered in her chest, and she could feel the air thinning.

A step backwards, and she tripped over a root.

And a spear quivered in the wood of the trunk right where her throat would have been.

Miroku was already in motion defending them from the two smaller youkai that rushed him from the trees.

A tingling slid over her body, and she recognized the feeling almost immediately. She always knew what that feeling meant, and it hardly ever boded well for her. Oftentimes, she fled to her own time just to avoid it.

A barrier engulfed her as Kikyo's shinidamachu wrapped around quickly, pinning her arms against her sides and lifting her off the ground. They were covered in ofuda; she could feel the power radiating off of them, not to purify but to hide. To conceal.

"Miroku!" She screamed, but he paid her no mind. It was like she hadn't even spoken. "Sango! Inuyasha!" She howled as they carried her through and over the trees. She kept screaming until she knew that she was too far away. "Where are you taking me?" She struggled, legs flailing, but even as she weakened their grip, more only arrived to restrain her, binding her knees together. She'd lost her shoe at some point. The thought to purify them came too late, and she felt pretty sure that she would be signing her own death warrant if she crashed into the forest below. She had no desire to return to her comatose state any time soon.

How long before they knew that she was gone? How long before they came searching for her? Or would they cut their losses? They'd saved her once, were they willing to search for her again?

Yes. They would. She convinced herself that Sango would simply not let her die out here. Miroku would join with her. Inuyasha felt like a wild card, though.

But what if they were wounded? They'd wasted a lot of supplies on her. Supplies that they might need to save themselves. She screamed again, her voice echoing across the trees, near tangible in grief and fear.

She kicked off her other shoe.

Bread crumbs. Something for them to follow. It was little, and it was probably a waste of shoes and socks, but it was all she had and the only thing that she could leave for a marker.

She'd probably regret this later, but that was Future Kagome's problem. Present Kagome was more worried about why Kikyo insisted on bringing her all the way out here and what she wanted. It had to be serious to merit this treatment.

By the time they arrived at a large lake, she'd kicked off her socks as well.

A large tree stood on an island in the middle of the lake, and the shinidamachu hovered just away from one of the branches. Nothing moved and no one spoke.
"Kikyo?" Kagome finally called. She was there, Kagome knew it. Kagome always knew, which is why when Inuyasha lied about it, it only hurt worse.

"It's about time you arrived." Her form appeared from the shadows of the branches, as she stood on a large branch, one hand stabilizing her on another. Kagome swallowed. Something was off about the dead priestess. Her hair was unkempt, loose from its usual tie. Smudges of dirt lined the edges of her sleeves and the hem of her robes. A broad swipe of dark earth smeared across the apple of one cheek. Tears in the fabric were neglected and began to fray at the edges. What had happened to her? "You've kept me waiting."

"I—I'm sorry?"

Kikyo's eyes narrowed.

"No, you're not. Not yet." She took a deep breath, as if trying to settle her nerves and meditate before continuing. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"

Kagome visibly flinched at her raised volume and clipped tone.

"Did you think that I wouldn't notice? That I was blind to such things?"

Oh God. Did Kikyo think that she really—

"I hope he was worth it," she snarled, and Kagome felt tears prickle at her eyes.

"It wasn't—I didn't—It's not what—"

"Shut your mouth, whore." Kagome reared back as if slapped by the priestess in front of her. "How dare you! How dare you corrupt our soul with your—your fleshly desires! Do you even understand the consequences of what you've done?

"Please—"

"I don't care!" She screamed, and Kagome wished the serpentine insects would drag her a little farther away than what she currently was because this Kikyo was angry, angrier than she'd ever seen her before. Not even freshly resurrected had she been this pissed off. "Do you know what you've done to me?"

"Kikyo," Kagome started.

"Don't you dare say my name! You have no right!" Her shout echoed through the treetops. She took a deep heaving breath, and Kagome didn't think that she was capable of such a feat or that she even needed to breathe at all. A look of realization passed over Kikyo's mussed face. "Oh, you—you don't know, do you?" Her eyes moved wildly over her.

"Know what?" Kagome asked. What was wrong with her?

"Oh," she laughed. "This is—this is just—" She doubled over in her laughter, the sound of it ringing through the trees. "Oh, this is just priceless." She righted herself, wiping her eyes with dirty hands, leaving behind smudges of dirt on her cheeks.

"What is?" Kagome insisted, trying to wriggle her way free of the serpents, but they only tightened their grip on her, making her wince.

"There is one good thing that will come of this, I suppose." A small smile twitched the corner of Kikyo's lips before blossoming into something sinister looking. "My beloved will have no reason to stay with you now."

She let loose a low laugh, covering her mouth with one hand as the mirth shook her body.

"Why would he muddle with you, taint himself in your presence, when he could have the pure, untouched version, hmm?" She made a wide, sweeping gesture with her arms, and Kagome's stomach quivered. "He would never tarnish himself by being with someone like you."

Another round of laughter. Kagome knew she was crying again because Kikyo wasn't wrong.

"If he really cared, he would not have let you out of his sight so easily, would he? You must have fallen so far out of his good graces, my dear copy. He only lets me go because he trusts that I am capable of defending myself. But you—"

"There were youkai," Kagome started, sniffling, her voice weak and pitiful sounding. "There were youkai, and—"

"Of course," Kikyo interrupted. "But he didn't even care enough to stop you from being taken. You mean so little to him now." She took a step forward on the branch, inching closer to her. "You've always meant so little. You were always useless. Meaningless. Why else would he abandon you the moment I call for him? What do you think would happen if I called for him now? Maybe I should."

"Please, just stop," she begged.

"You parade around dressed like that," she spat out. "Don't you get it?" Kikyo jabbed a heartless finger at her. A foot closer, and she'd be poking her in the chest. "This is your fault. You did this."

She was wrong. Kagome knew that it wasn't her fault. Sure, her clothes were unusual in this time, but not indecent, but that didn't mean—

Kikyo spoke slowly, enunciating and taking a step closer with each word, hissing them out by the end. "This is all your fault."

The air stilled around them, and Kagome held back the sob that threatened to break free, swallowing it down into the deep cavern inside her.

"Did you know that if you die, I can live again?" Her voice was soft, melodic. "You're not ready to take care of such a responsibility. You cannot be trusted to keep our soul pure."

"It's mine," Kagome whispered in retort. "Not yours."

"But it was mine long before it was yours. And I want it back."

She made a broad sweeping gesture with her arm, arcing it high over her head.

The shinidamachu pulled away, rising higher and higher over the still waters of the lake.

She was well above the tallest tree and still rising.

"Kikyo?" Her voice small and quiet as she refrained from glancing down at the still waters below her.

"Feel familiar, little girl?" Kikyo called from below, and Kagome looked down right as the slithering bodies dispersed and let her fall. A blackness taunted her from the branches of the tree.

The water stung and burned where she struck, knocking the air from her lungs and out of her mouth, cutting the scream off the moment she hit.

Her arms and legs flailed, tracing the trail of bubbles that rose towards the surface. Her entire left side throbbed as she kicked and pulled herself through the lake.

A blinding force of light zipped past her, slicing in the fleshy part of her bicep, making her exhale what little air she had left in a muted scream.

The water was so dark. So quiet. Even for the bright afternoon, it felt like night down here.

Her chest spasmed as she fought the urge to inhale. It couldn't be much farther, and then she could have as much air as she wanted.

Her arm broke the surface first and before she could stop herself, she reflexively inhaled a massive surge of water, right as her head surfaced.

She hacked, eyes watering, nose running, coughing up all the water she'd just ingested. Her chest roared with pain, but she couldn't suppress the coughing fits. She tried to see where she was and which way was quickest to shore, as she was already starting to flounder in keeping herself above water and floating. Nothing seemed any closer than any other spot, and she opted to swim in the opposite direction of the tree, trying to put as much distance between herself and the mad priestess.

Despite her best efforts, she slipped under the surface as she tried to keep herself above water. Kagome was a natural swimmer, taking to the water with ease, but her body struggled to keep up with her demands.

Her feet found the shore first, pushing her forward those last few feet, until she literally crawled her way out of the water and collapsed in the soft earth underneath her, gasping for air and rest. She still coughed, even though her throat was so raw, it hurt to swallow. But she was on solid ground with plenty of air to breathe in, and without her permission, her eyes closed. The sharp throb of a jewel shard resting in the air behind her.


It was dark when she woke. Her lungs burned as she hacked a wet sounding cough, feeling like she should still be purging water from her respiratory system.

How much had she inhaled anyway? How much could be left?

There was not enough air to satisfy her body's demands, and her body burned like she laid on hot coals, despite the cold bursts of wind that only inspired the fire to burn hotter.

Her throat ached each time she swallowed, and each cough felt like a metal rake gouging at her insides.

She reached an arm out, dragging herself out of the water and into the night air. She heard the soft sounds of the forest at night above the ringing in her ears.

Crawling her way into the trees, she eventually slipped into a crater of roots washed out by the rains. Her body trembled with exhaustion as she situated herself into the small pit seemingly created just for her. As if this is where she belonged now. Beneath the dirt, the earth, with the dead and forgotten because it's so hot now that she's on fire and she must be burning alive.

How long has it been?

It's too cold now. The inferno inside her has gone out, leaving behind the deep resonance of ice and chilly night air.

Kikyo couldn't find her now. She's simply too well hidden. Shifting to make herself more comfortable, she curls herself into the small pit admiring the way the roots wrap around the walls of her resting place.

Kagome let herself drift for a moment as sleep takes her, Kikyo's words echoing around her in the stillness of the trees and earth: This is all your fault.


A/N: So there's a lot to unpack here, so have fun with that. While I'm not in love with this chapter, I'm not really sure how to fix it. It just feels weird and awkward to me, but it needs to happen for the story to work, so c'est la vie. Until next week!