Chapter 17
Aequam servare mentem
"Keep the mind calm"


"Desperation is sometimes as powerful an inspirer as genius."
Endymion


"Not today asshole!" He shouted, kicking his feet out to stave off the blow. His blood sprayed out behind him as the boar gouged out a good chunk of his side. "Shit," he muttered, wrapping one arm around himself, trying to stem the sudden blood loss.

"Kagome?" Miroku's panic rose above the swell of Sango's cries, Kirara's roars, and the high pitched squealing of the boars that threatened to deafen him already.

"She better be fucking fine, monk!" He couldn't look away from the fight to see what was happening. Somehow, this monstrosity of a demon had it out for him specifically. Staying just close enough and attacking with enough fervor that it was all he could do to not be gored and defend himself only using his hands and claws.

Sango's boomerang created a divide between the two of them, digging a ditch into the earth, but gave him the opportunity that he'd been lacking. He drew his sword with a roar.

Tetsusaiga amputated a tusk and part of a cloven hand in one swing, giving him a brief reprieve.

He dove back into the fray with a bellow, cleaving his sword in an upward motion, slicing the youkai from the navel all the way to his hair line. Leaping towards Sango, she dove for the earth as he drove the blade into the neck of the larger youkai, sending a spray of blood outwards as he pulled it free.

"Miroku?" He called, rushing towards the monk, who was fighting off two smaller youkai that thrust spears at him. Kagome was nowhere to be seen. His staff spun, knocking one spear off course, and it was Sango's sword that sent the second into the ground beside the monk. Miroku purified one, but the other panicked.

But there was no Kagome. His heart stopped as his eyes frantically searched the battleground, nose scouring the air as he tried to scent her direction.

"Kagome!" He called, but there was no response.

"She's not here," Sango answered, her own voice higher-pitched than normal. "She's not here!" Her hair whipped around her face as she searched the battleground for her. "Kagome?" She shouted. "Kagome!" She spun towards the youkai on the ground, placating himself. "Where is she?"

"Please! Don't kill me!" He begged.

"Where is Kagome?" Inuyasha asked, pointing his sword towards earth. His tone was calm, but even Sango took a step towards Miroku and away from the angry youki billowing out from the hanyou beside her.

"I don't know! We were just supposed to be a distraction! Honest!" He cowered under Inuyasha's stare.

"A distraction for who?" Sango asked.

"Who hired you?" Miroku asked at the same time as Sango, finally catching his breath.

"I don't know!"

"What did they promise you?" Sango asked, blade at the youkai's throat, pressing hard enough that he bled.

"A shard of the Shikon jewel! She said we could keep it after," he whimpered. "As long as she got the girl, we could keep what we found."

"Fucking hell!" Inuyasha roared, and the youkai flinched. "I'm going after her."

"Inuyasha, wait!" Miroku reached out to grab his sleeve, but Inuyasha jerked away from him.

"No! I am not fucking waiting while she's fucking out there! Especially if Naraku is behind this!"

"I agree, but we need more information." Miroku turned back to the cowering boar. "Did they say where they were taking Kagome?"

"No, the woman just said that we needed to distract the hanyou."

Inuyasha blanched. It had been a plan the whole time to just distract him so they could take Kagome. And he'd fucking fallen right into their trap.

"We need to go," he insisted. If Naraku was behind this, he couldn't leave her to his clutches. Even though he hadn't smelled a trace of anything Naraku-oriented at all. How did he not sense him if he was that close? A new incarnation perhaps? There were too many variables and too many ways that this could go wrong.

He simply couldn't wait any longer. He bunched his muscles and leapt, leaving the four of them behind, their shouts echoing after him.


He circled the woods for hours, running and leaping, looking for any sign of her, but just like before, she's gone. Disappeared.

His chest tightened at the thought of being separated from her. The image of her in the woods, the paleness of her skin, which had only just begun to disappear, still haunted him. The glazed and quiet look in her eyes makes him want to destroy anyone who looks at her with judgment of any sort; no one will make her feel less than. His mother spent years mocked by the elders of the village and her own family; he'd spent those years with her. Though looking back on it now, he was relieved that she'd died when she did; he couldn't bear the thought of her being present for the raid. He was the lone survivor, and some nights it still haunted him. The bloodied mess of Kagome was something that still haunted him too.

He pushed his legs harder, leaping over a round of trees as his eye caught sight of something. He landed on a branch, nearly slamming into the trunk as he changed the direction of his momentum. His eyes scanned the area, searching for what he at least thought he'd seen.

What was—there!

He leapt down, landing in a crouch as he saw her loafer hanging from a low branch.

There was no scent trail, nothing else around it. No trace of Naraku or any of his incarnations. Just Kagome's shoe. He pulled it down and stared. There was nothing wrong, so why would she take it off? And why would she hang it on a branch?

There was nothing odd about the tree; in fact, there was nothing special about it at all. Why would she pick this one? And how did she do it without leaving a scent trail for him to follow?

His eyes drifted farther up the tree when it all clicked into place.

She wasn't on the ground. Whatever took her hadn't taken the land route. They flew. That's why there was no scent trail and why she'd just disappeared without a trace. Tracking by air was always harder because it dissipated so quickly, not to mention the wind wreaked havoc on the trail itself, distorting it quickly and completely.

He leapt back up into the trees, at least sure of how she was traveling at this point. Not a reassurance, because that still meant youkai, but at least he knew something, which was more than he had a moment ago.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku called and Kirara headed towards them.

"Did you find something?" Sango asked as they came closer. He'd met them halfway.

"Her shoe. It was hanging from a tree. I'm pretty sure they were airborne. Whatever it was didn't leave a scent or a trail behind."

"Poor Kagome," Sango murmured.

"Look, you guys, take that direction, I'll take that over there. Holler if you find something."

"You'll hear it?" Sango asked with some amount of skepticism.

"Keh, course I will." He didn't waste anymore time with them, opting to start searching sooner rather than later. This way he could search faster and cover more ground. He wouldn't need to take breaks.

But what if she was on the humans side? What if they weren't searching as diligently?

He mentally shook himself. They would look. He would look. One of them would find her. That's all there was to it.

And so he took the tiny voice that contradicted everything positive in his life and shoved it behind everything else that was already starting to crowd into head, filling it with frightening ideas and long-buried fears that were just starting to surface.

He would find her.

She would be alive and awake.

She would be safe.

That was all there was to it. He chanted his mantra to himself.

Alive. Awake. Safe.

Alive. Awake. Safe.

Alive. Awake. Safe.


Nighttime fell, and they were no closer to finding her. He'd caught up with Sango and Miroku once, and they'd found a sock hanging from a tree branch high up, but nothing else. So he kept searching, kept running circles, hoping that he would see something, catch a trail, anything.

The more the light disappeared from the sky, the more panic swelled in his chest nearly crippling him with its intensity.

He needed to find her.

He couldn't lose her. God, he couldn't lose her.

He leapt to another tree, looking out over the landscape, hoping something would call to him.

There was a lake to his right and flatlands to his left. Nothing but trees there.

Motion caught his eye, specifically flames coming towards him through the night sky.

Kirara.

He ran through the trees towards her, moving quicker when he saw that she had no passengers. A good sign, maybe? Hopefully? He needed it to be a good sign.

Kirara stopped before she reached him, satisfied that he was following and flew back in the direction she'd come.

Shit.

That wasn't good.

But as he came closer, he could smell it.

Kagome.

And her blood.

The image of her bloodied face and neck, watching the viscous liquid seep into the earth came to his mind for the second time that day. He shook his head.

It wasn't that much this time, the smell much fainter than before. But it still made him want to cover his mouth to keep what he'd eaten hours ago down in his stomach where it belonged.

He left Kirara, following the scent on his own. Skidding into the clearing, he saw Sango and Miroku kneeling over a prone figure.

"Kagome?" Sango called, lightly tapping her face.

"Inuyasha!" Miroku sounded relieved, fingers pressed to her wrist, as if he was trying to find her pulse.

He tries to take inventory. He can hear her heartbeat, faint and fluttering. She's pale, but did it ever really stop?

His eyes scan over her, searching for the source of the blood, and he finds it on her arm. Her palms and knees are scraped up a bit too.

But she's so still again. Though he finds it easier to breathe as he moves towards her on shaky legs.

"What's wrong?" He asked, noting that her clothes were soaked. She had to be cold; they should dress her in some warmer clothes and start a fire.

"She's out," Sango said. "But it doesn't look like she's hit her head." That—That was good news.

Kagome let out a faint shiver.

"I'll go collect some firewood," Miroku stated quickly, standing and moving into the trees.

Sango raised an eyebrow at his abrupt departure, and Inuyasha realized that his youki had flared out, encompassing everything around them. He let out a small breath and fought it back under his control.

"I need to get her into some dry clothes and change her bandages. We can't leave the wet ones on."

Oh.

Maybe that was why Miroku left. To allow her some privacy.

"I can do it, if you'd—"

"I'll help," he answered and cursed his mouth answering for him without his permission. Kagome didn't stir, and it was too similar to before where she didn't move for days, but her heart was steady under his fingers even though she was cool to the touch. Sango didn't question his decision, which was probably a good idea because he would degrade into a sputtering mess.

Sango was quick to undo the buttons on her shirt, making him stare at the branches just above her head as she worked.

"Can you get out a change of dry clothes for her? I think there's a clean yukata in there still."

He turned, glad for the job, and dug around until he pulled out the worn piece of clothing.

"Here," he said, turning around to help again. He needed to keep her close. Finding her in the woods before overlapped the sight of her here. Her skin was pale, hair clinging to her in places. Fabric clung to her form, smaller now than he remembered it, there was so much blood. So much.

No, that was before. There was not so much blood this time, even though the smell of it still burned his nostrils.

"Help me sit her up," Sango said and he refocused on the task at hand. She'd bandaged her arm and the smell of blood was diminishing.

Cold and pale.

Sango pulled the damp clothes off her back and wrapped her in the yukata, as Inuyasha repositioned himself behind her to allow the fabric to move freely. She tugged the bottoms off and fixed the wrap of the fabric.

"Miroku! We're done!" Sango called, and Miroku reappeared with a generous stack of burnable firewood. "Can you put her into the sleeping bag?" Sango asked him, glancing over Kagome's form as he reclined her back against his chest. "I want to warm her up as quickly as possible."

Sango pulled the sleeping bag out from her pack and unrolled it on the ground. Kagome shivered against his hands, and he moved so that she was resting her back against his chest as he stripped off his fire rat. Like hell she would warm up faster there. Miroku made quick work of setting up the fire.

He wasn't going to let her go, not when he had her so close to him, wrapped in his clothes. Not when she'd been taken from him a second time.

She'd been kidnapped before. In all honesty, it was a recurring issue with her. But this was all different. He didn't want her out of sight, and he didn't want to let her go. And seeing her wrapped up in his fire rat, that always set something deep inside practically preening.

It was during that fiasco with Yura when he'd first sensed it but ignored it. He couldn't ignore it at Togenkyo though. Even though he was human, he blamed it on the blood loss, but when he'd regained himself, he couldn't ignore that first look where he'd seen her crying over him, even if she was calling him an idiot.

But this—this was different. So, so different.

He sat as close to the fire as he dared, curling her up into his lap, legs wrapped around her.

"Inuyasha, bring her here," Sango said, flipping the flap back on the sleeping bag.

"No," he growled. Miroku stoked the fire and it began to blaze, wood crackling under the heat.

She was asleep, buried against his chest, face resting against his neck where he could feel her breathing.

"Inuyasha," Sango sounded exasperated. "We need to get her warm." She reached out towards Kagome's form.

"Don't touch her!" He tightened his hold around her, letting loose a low warning growl. Sango pulled her hand back, less out of fear and more out of annoyance.

"I don't want her getting sick!"

"She won't! I'll—I'll keep her warm." His hands encircled her, holding her close, and he broke his gaze from Sango's, turning it down towards the fire.

"Sango, come sit down. We both know that Inuyasha will take good care of her," Miroku said, patting the ground beside him. They were sitting slightly across from him, leaning back against a tree. Sango's head laid against Miroku's shoulder.

"You can sleep. I'll keep watch," Inuyasha suggested and Miroku gave a short nod.

It took some suggesting and cajoling for Sango, but eventually, the two of them stretched out and slept.

He fixed the robe so that it was closed tighter around her, retaining more of the warmth she needed. She wasn't as cold now, but she was still pale. This wasn't like last time, he told himself. She was just asleep. He shifted her slightly so that she was laying more naturally and hopefully wasn't putting too much pressure on her ribs and other injuries. She would wake up in the morning, and everything would be fine.


It was not fucking fine.

He watched the sun come up over the horizon, light beginning to drape across the sky. Sango and Miroku started to stir, but Kagome remained oblivious to the world. That was okay. He didn't push them to go until she woke on her own. Sango had tried to wake her yesterday, and he'd told her to let her sleep. It was good for her. Rest was good for her. But that was yesterday, before she went missing. She'd slept all night.

He raised one hand to lightly rub the apple of her cheek. His mother would do the same thing to him as a child. It was a gentle call to the waking world, and even when he didn't want to be awake, it was at least semi-pleasant.

But she didn't wake.

"Kagome," he called, letting her shift slightly to look down at her. Nothing. "Kagome?" He spoke a little louder, but she didn't move or register the noise. He pressed his fingers against her neck and felt her heart beat soundly under his fingertips, but she wasn't doing anything else. It was a small relief.

He shifted her so that her neck rested in the crook of his arm. He, very, very lightly, patted her non-bruised cheek, calling her name in increasing volume.

"Inuyasha?" Sango asked, clearing her voice as she spoke. "What's wrong?"

"She's not waking up," he stated and that started a lot of things. Sango scrambled out of her bedding, of which he only just noticed that Miroku's arm flopped down onto the ground when she left.

Interesting.

But she was kneeling in front of him, checking her pulse, calling her name, and lightly patting her cheeks. Still, no response.

"We need to get to the village," Inuyasha stated. "Kaede will help. She'll know what's wrong."

Sango looked lost for just a moment as Miroku sat up, dislodging Kirara from where she'd burrowed into the sash around his chest.

"Sorry, Kirara," he mumbled. "Before we leave, we need to eat something. Yesterday was—long. And I assume you'll want to move quickly today?" Inuyasha nodded, shifting his hold on Kagome, pulling her away from Sango's fingers and back towards himself. "Then let us eat something before one of us almost falls off Kirara again."

"You did fall off," Inuyasha mumbled.

"My point exactly."

Sango's stomach growled, and despite how much he wanted to argue, he couldn't. They were human. They needed sleep and food and rest more than he did, and it was fucking annoying, but he needed to remember that.

"Just something quick though," he said, looking out towards the trees.

"Of course." Miroku gave him a slight smile, but it dropped slowly as he looked at Kagome.

Breakfast was quick; they ate enough to hold them and then they were on their way. Inuyasha carried Kagome, keeping her close to his chest, an arm under her back and the other under her knees, fire rat covering her completely to block out the wind as he ran along the forest floor towards the village. Kirara kept pace with him and they only requested to stop once for lunch. They'd made good time today, and they were significantly closer to Kaede's village.

But as the sun sank lower and lower into the sky, they opted to camp out in a small clearing that ran next to a stream. They were running low on water as it was.
Kagome was still seated in his lap, and he'd wrapped himself around her like before as Miroku and Sango prepped the campsite. Kirara was already curling up in the bedding next to where Sango sat, enjoying Sango running her fingers through her fur.

A muffled noise came from the girl in his lap, and what he'd been about to say died on his tongue as his head snapped down to look at her. Her nose scrunched up as another small noise came from the back of her throat.

"Kagome?" He asked. She shifted in his hold, and he moved quickly to give her space, stretching her out on the ground and stepping away, even when he really didn't want to. He wouldn't force himself on her.

Sango moved closer, sitting beside her and holding her hand.

"Kagome?" More soft groans and her head tilted towards the abandoned fire. "Kagome? Can you hear me?"

The speed at which Kagome moved was surprising. Her eyes snapped open and before they could adjust, she'd already scrambled backwards with a soft scream of surprise. But Sango was already on the move.

"Kagome! It's me! It's just me. Look at me!" She shook her shoulders slightly as Kagome panicked, eyes darting around the small clearing. She gripped one of Sango's wrists with her hand. Miroku knelt down beside Sango.

"We have to go! She wants it!" She was panting and trying to climb to her feet. "She'll take it!"

"Who? What does she want?" Sango was trying to keep her on the ground, but Kagome was fighting her on it. Miroku moved to try to encourage Kagome to stay seated.

"No!" She sobbed out. "We have to go! It—" She doubled over, moaning in between her sobs, obviously in pain.

"Kagome?" Sango was trying to push her back to a sitting position, something that would be less painful. "Kagome, you're not making any sense."

"It burns!" She gasped out. "It hurts so bad!"

"What does?" Sango asked, gripping the girl's shoulders. Kagome had given up pretenses on trying to stand and now collapsed into Sango's lap, fingers digging into her own chest. Inuyasha and Miroku were already trying to detangle her limbs from where she'd curled in on herself to prevent her from doing any more damage than had already occurred. "Kagome, talk to me!"

But by then, Kagome had broken out into screams that echoed through the trees, thrashing her limbs to free herself. Inuyasha flattened his ears back against his skull to block out as much as he could. Sango was calling for her, but she wasn't listening.

"Let me go! It hurts!" Her back arched off the ground as she fought their grip.

"Kagome!" Sango shouted. "Kagome, what hurts?"

Inuyasha pinned her knees down to the earth, trying to hold her still. Miroku held a shoulder and arm as Sango held her head still to keep it from thrashing.

Sango held Kagome's face in her hands, and Kagome's movements stalled as she took a shaky breath.

"What hurts?"

"Everything," she whispered. Her eyes glazing over as she stared at something in the sky above, as if she was looking right thorough Sango's face. "Feels like fire." There was a soft exhale, and her eyes closed as her body went slack against their holds.

"Kagome?" Sango patted her cheeks. "Kagome?" Her eyes watered as she stared at Kagome's sleeping face.

"That's it. I'm taking her to Kaede's," Inuyasha stated, scooping her up off the ground. "Stay here if you need to, but I'm going now."

He didn't wait for their answer as he leapt into the trees, running for the place that seemed safest right now.

Kaede would know what to do. She could fix this. She wouldn't lock him out without good reason. She'd let him stay with her. No matter what it was, she would let him stay.

When the familiar pattern of the rice paddies came into view, the sun was just peeking over the horizon. He was tired, exhausted really, and he'd popped something in his knee hours ago when a branch had broken under him, and he'd landed weird, but he was here. He'd made it.

Everything was going to be fine. Kaede would fix it.

Safe. Alive. Awake.

Safe. Alive. Awake.

Everything would be fine.

There was simply no other alternative.


A/N: So, the hunt for Kagome was much shorter this time. Your welcome. Remember: Comments are love!