NGE characters belong to their respective owners.

Note: And here I go again . . .

Chapter 3


"You people. . ."

Her mind in turmoil, Asuka-who just lost her mother again, this time by her own fault-watched numbly the lusty, revealing romp between the two adult guardians she had in this life.

"Mmmm, let's do it," moaned Misato in this slutty, porn star voice-one that Asuka knew, even at her age, to be affected and catering towards male arousal.

"Again?" drawled Kaji. "Aren't you supposed to meet your friend at school today?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, Ritsuko. It's okay, we still have time . . ."

"We've been cooped up here for a week now . . ."

"Yeah, but I think I'm getting the hang of it . . . so come on . . ."

"Kaji-san . . ." whimpered Asuka, taking in the alien sight of her crush/father-figure flexing his bare buttocks over this naked woman who had also since grown endearing to her almost managed to make her forget her current troubles. "This is . . . you two are . . .?"

"Back then, I probably just did this to prove that I existed." Misato's voice permeated the air from all directions, like it was the voice over in a scene. "This time, I'm doing this . . . I think . . . to hold onto my individuality within Instrumentality."

"Smart choice," nodded Ritsuko, appearing at current age from where she was leaning cross-legged against a desk. In stark contrast to Asuka, the woman observed her life-long friends have sex with clinical coolness. "Instrumentality blurs the individual will. By fixing oneself upon an important memory-and reinterpreting it to keep it current—the individual mind finds something to hang onto."

"Ka-ji," Misato could be seen murmuring and kissing at the man's earlobe. "Did I ever told you how much you remind me of my father?"

"Katsuragi . . ." murmured Kaji. On his back, another man's torso could be seen poking out and arched backwards in apparent ecstasy.

"I-I can't goddamned believe this!" Having had enough, Asuka got up to her guardians, standing over them with crossed arms. "Don't you people have more important things to concern yourselves with at a time like this?! How idiotic! This . . . this does nothing of value to our situation!" Kaji glanced over at her with bedroom eyes, the sight of which enraged the girl even more. "You too, Kaji-san! Snap out of it already! You two are just being lonely grownups comforting each other with empty physical acts!"

"We all want to feel needed," commented Ritsuko. "Even if only physically."

"I feel wanted," said Misato, glancing up at Asuka with eyes pleading for her understanding, "and that makes me happy."

"Oh, for-" Asuka stomped a foot hard on the floor. "You idiots! It's just a way for you to self-delude yourself into thinking you're worth something!"

"This is . . . Misato?"

Sometime during their conflict, Shinji had wandered over into this room. Bloodied cross pendant in hand, he watched the fornicating Misato as though she had suddenly grown a second head.

"She's doing something . . . like this?" he wondered aloud-though his mouth has remained shut far as Asuka can see-in apparent disgust.

Asuka turned to bark at Shinji. "And we don't need your hypocritical input either, perv boy!"

Shinji appeared oblivious to her, so fixated was he on Misato's wanton state.

"Yes, this is also me . . ." drawled the woman, looking Shinji in the eye while getting rocked under Kaji's strong body. "This is the image revealed by the crossing of our hearts . . . the part of me that Shinji-kun doesn't know about." Her feet, toes curled in pleasure, waved up in the air as per Kaji's rhythmic movements. "Reality does involve pain, but you just have to deal with it." She grabbed Kaji by his lean hips, slamming it against herself. "It's part of being a grown up."

"You'd know what it means to be a grown up," grumbled Asuka, before throwing her head back to let out a long, deep, sigh. "Aaahh . . . I wonder if I'll end up acting like Misato when I grow up?"

"All Lilins are like Katsuragi-san in the end."

Asuka whirled to face the reappeared Angel. Now clothed and dry, he could be seen embracing Shinji from behind; his slender arms were taut with possessiveness.

"Always feeling pain in their hearts, always needing meaning for their existences to justify that pain," murmured the Angel against the side of Shinji's neck. "Even when they want to make a genuine connection, the skin gets in the way, separating one soul from the other." His pale hand clasped itself over the cross in Shinji's hand. "Before Instrumentality, before this moment of Collective Consciousness, physical acts truly are the only means for hearts to attempt connection, however futile the gesture may seem."

Shinji eyes, still on Misato, welled with tears; Asuka's jaws squared at seeing
his fingers now were entwined with Kaworu's.

"Say . . ." she stepped up to in front of Shinji, "wanna kiss?"

The boy's eyes widened as though finally noticing her presence again. At the same time, parts of the shabby room Misato and Kaji was sexing in began to change, such that it now resembled their Tokyo-3 apartment.

"You mustn't!" warned Misato, again looking thirty as she hurried to dress herself in her NERV uniform; Kaji now was nowhere to be seen. The tactician had her wary gaze on Kaworu, still wrapped around Shinji like a pale growth of parasitic vines. "We still don't know what the Seventeenth Angel's intentions are: hasty actions like yours-"

"Or, are you afraid?" pressed Asuka, trying further to goad this uncertain-seeming Shinji into action. From behind him, the Angel's pale lips could be seen curling in a smile.

By the time this was over, only one of them would get to share a world with Shinji, the Angel had said; if this was true, then she would damn well made sure that the idiot stayed in her world under her control.

"It's not something kids should do . . ." Misato sagged as her words fell on deaf years. From beside her, Ritsuko patted her shoulder in some sign of support.

"Okay." Forcing herself to ignore the Angel's daunting presence, Asuka took a further step up, such that she and Shinji were face to face. "Here goes . . ." She leaned forward . . . and stopped at seeing what looked like pity in the other's eyes.

"Asuka," the boy's lips quivered as though in acute anxiety. "Are you doing this with me to try and forget about your mother?"


To be continued . . . ?