Chapter 28
Disce pati
"Learn to endure"
"I know so many last words.
But I will never know hers."
—Looking For Alaska
She'd looked at him.
Stared at him as if she was seeing him for the first time. Which was ridiculous, but that's what it felt like.
"Kagome," was all he got out before her head fell backwards against the wood making a sound that he knew had to hurt, but she seemed unbothered by it entirely.
His own heart was pounding, and the smell of blood beading up off her neck and the shouts as Miroku and Kaede tried multiple things to save her only made it worse.
He held her legs still, even as she fought him so valiantly, all while trying to breathe. A harsh rasp was the only sound that she could make, like the air was literally trapped inside her. His own lungs sympathized with her struggles.
"Hold her steady!" Kaede ordered as Kagome started to convulse on the floor. He shifted his grip, holding her knees with one hand and bracing his other forearm across her hips to keep them still.
"Kagome, keep your eyes open! Look at me!" Sango shouted.
"Keep her awake, Sango!" Miroku shouted, interrupting a chant he'd begun a moment before and continued a beat later.
Her legs twitched and then fell limp, and he looked at them before fearfully looking to her face, where her eyes drifted closed.
His heart literally ached, and his palms stuck to her skin where he gripped her.
Kagome let out a soft sigh, and everything, all the fight in her disappeared, leaving her limp, boneless, and damn near lifeless looking.
He couldn't hear a damn thing over his own panting and their shouting.
"Fucking quiet, all of you!" He bellowed, and the noise dwindled to the point where he could hear the fluttering and weak beating of her heart. "She's alive," he murmured, letting himself fall forward on his hands.
"What?" Sango asks him, her voice quiet, tremulous.
"She's still—her heart's still beating." He swallowed thickly, pushing back the burning in his own eyes.
Kaede pressed her hand against Kagome's chest as Miroku felt against her neck.
They both widened their eyes in surprise and exchanged a look. One that he didn't like. Because her surviving this seemed like it wasn't supposed to happen. Which meant that they knew more than they were letting on.
"Aye, she does," Kaede stated. "Weak, but it's there."
"Anyone care to explain what the fuck all that was?" He kept one of his hands gripping her leg, grounding himself with the warmth of her body under his fingers, even as it cooled under his grip.
"The curse Miroku has been researching up in the shrine," Kaede answered.
"Something activated it," Miroku added. "I felt something," he narrowed his eyes as he attempted to discern the feeling. "It was—dark? But I'm not quiet sure what it was exactly. It didn't feel like youki or jyaki."
"No, it did not feel like either of those."
"So then what was it?" Inuyasha asked, trying to get his own breathing under control. He couldn't afford to panic or hyperventilate like an idiot.
"Inuyasha, your face," Sango broke off staring at him, and he narrowed his eyes at her.
"Are you feeling alright?" Miroku asked, shifting towards him uneasily. Kaede stared, eye widening at whatever she saw.
"I'm fucking fine," he growled. "Focus on her." He nodded his head towards Kagome.
"Aye," Kaede said, eyeing Inuyasha for a moment longer than she needed to. "Have ye made any progress in narrowing down when the curse appeared?"
"It had to be after she went missing during the fight with the boar youkai. She had that attack the morning after," Sango suggested.
"But the attacks seem to be at random," Miroku pointed out. "What about after we found her the first time? Something saved her. The healer there—"
"Prick," Inuyasha muttered in a soft exhale.
"Regardless, he wasn't wrong. Kagome should have died, and something saved her life or brought her back at least."
"So what? It saved her then to kill her now? That's a fucking dumbass curse."
"Aye, Inuyasha has a point. This curse is not designed to save lives."
Inuyasha growled, low and deep. When he found whoever had done this to her, there was nothing that could save them.
Nothing.
He was going to rip them to pieces, youkai or human, or anything in between. He didn't care who it was or what anyone had to say about it.
They were fucking dead.
"What enacted the curse then?" Sango asked, letting go of Kagome's hands. She fiddled with the coverings on her arm and her hands where Kagome's nails had dug in during the attack.
"Good question," Miroku murmured. "Did anyone notice anything different?"
No one had an answer for him, and Inuyasha let out a breathless scoff.
"So what?" He took a large gulp of air to soothe his lungs, which were fucking burning at this point. "Someone's just out there," he paused to take a quick breath, "fucking around with her?"
"Are ye sure there is nothing wrong with ye?" Kaede asked, staring at him intently.
"I said I'm fine," he growled, though it petered out faster than he wanted it to. "She needs you more than me." He nodded towards Kagome, and Kaede turned her gaze back to where it should have been the entire time.
It felt like he was on the verge of hyperventilating, but he couldn't fathom why. It wasn't like he'd done anything. Not anything that strenuous.
"Has Kagome said anything about what happened?" Kaede asked, glancing between Miroku and Sango. Of course she knew that Kagome hadn't said a word to him in what felt like months.
"I asked her about it. If she would tell me who took her, but she said that she couldn't," Sango answered.
"Sango, what was her wording exactly?" Miroku asked.
"I don't follow."
"Did she say she couldn't or she wouldn't?" Miroku clarified.
"She said, 'I can't," Sango answered after a moments contemplation.
"Ye are sure?"
"Yes. She was really clear about it. She said that she couldn't tell me and that I wouldn't understand."
Both Kaede and Miroku shared a glance.
"What does that mean?" Sango asked, glancing between the two of them.
"Maybe the curse prevents her from revealing its caster?" Miroku suggested, and Kaede nodded.
"Aye, I was thinking the same thing. It would make it more difficult for anyone to find them."
"The curse is complex enough. This would take someone of great skill and power to invoke, much less alter on a whim."
"Does this narrow your research, monk?" Kaede asked.
"I don't know. It's complicated, and I don't know if Kagome could bodily endure more than one attempt at breaking it." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "I'm concerned she may not survive the attempt at all."
"Something is keeping her tied to this plane," Kaede said, pressing a hand to Kagome's forehead. "The curse is intended to kill its bearer. She should be dead already."
"So what's keeping her alive?" Sango asked.
Everyone turned towards him, and he narrowed his eyes at them.
"What?"
"Perhaps, whatever it is, is affecting ye as well, Inuyasha," Kaede pointed out.
"So how do we stop it from trying again?" Inuyasha asked, his breathing still ragged but slowing.
Kaede let out a sigh.
"We will have to wait until Kagome wakes to ask if she did anything to activate it," Kaede explained. "Until then, I think it best if the room were warded."
"Agreed," Miroku stated with a nod. "I will place ofuda on the walls outside." He turned to look at Inuyasha. "I think it would be best if you stayed in here with her. At least until she wakes."
"So there's literally shit all we can do to stop this thing from happening again?" He asked, shifting his weight slightly to sit beside her knees.
"We will do what we can with what we know. Miroku will continue his research, and I will reinforce the barrier daily. Until more information can be discovered, this is all we can do."
"Maybe you should take Kagome back to her time?" Sango suggested. "Wouldn't she be safer there?"
"Whatever curse this is reached her there, too. It is better to keep her here where she can be watched carefully," Kaede stated. "We will need to bandage her scratches. Sango, are ye alright?"
"She didn't break the skin. I'll be fine." Sango pulled her wrist guards back to show that the skin, while bruised looking, wasn't broken and she wasn't bleeding. "Poor Kagome. This has to be terrifying for her."
"You think we should tell her about the curse?" Miroku asked.
"Aye, I believed in keeping the curse secret, it would alleviate some stress from her, but I am beginning to think that this may have been a mistake."
"Wait, hold the fuck up," Inuyasha gripped Kagome's calf tighter, attempting to ground himself in her presence. "She doesn't know she's fucking cursed?"
"Kagome's already in a delicate place, there was no sense in adding undue burden on her," Kaede argued.
"Are you—" He had to force himself to loosen the grip on her leg before he did something unforgivable like bruise the tender flesh there. "Are you fucking serious?"
"Inuyasha," Kaede started, but he was in no fucking mood to deal with any of them or this right now.
"No! You said—" A growl of frustration escaped him as he had to take a deeper breath than he normally did. "You—none of you—make any decisions about her anymore. You three," he jabbed a clawed finger that was much longer, and much sharper, than normal, at the other three people in the room that were currently conscious, "tell her everything when she comes to."
"But I thought," Miroku started before a clawed finger at the monk.
"No, you all are gonna own your fuck-ups. Not me," Inuyasha growled.
Miroku sighed.
"I will go prepare the wards," he said, standing and leaving the room. Kaede rose and disappeared from the room without a word spoken.
"You should probably go check on Shippo," he suggested to Sango, whose response was to narrow her eyes at the hanyou, who was fighting the urge to stretch out next to the unconscious woman and smother her with his own body.
"Sango will stay and help me treat Kagome's scratches," Kaede stated as she resettled beside Kagome's neck.
"Keh."
Kaede handed Sango the rag to wipe away the blood, as she prepared the salve. Kagome didn't stir or move with the exception to her shallow breathing that was too quick to be healthy. He still had a hand on her calf, trying to reassure himself that the clamminess of her skin, the coolness was something that made it real, made her real under his fingertips.
Sango and Kaede worked in quiet, for once, but he still watched them. Kaede spread a salve over her throat as Sango held her head up, pulling her hair away from her neck so Kaede could wrap it securely.
Once she was bandaged, he let go of her leg, which took more physical force than it ever had before, and moved to her side.
"What are you doing?" Sango's voice intoned that he was doing something inappropriate or wrong to her.
"Pull the blanket out. Her skin is cold." He slid his arms underneath her and lifted her, cradling against his chest so that they could pull the blanket out and fix the futon underneath her. He set her down gently, legs first, before allowing her head to rest on the small pillow. He took the blanket from Sango, before she could say anything and laid it over Kagome's still, but breathing, form.
She's pale again.
And from what he felt, she's lost a considerable amount of weight. He could feel her ribs jutting out against his palms.
There's a distinct desire to go hunt, provide for her.
She needs food. Nourishment.
She needs sleep.
She needs protection.
All things that he can provide her.
All she has to do is ask him for it. And even then, not really. He will give of himself as much as she needs or wants. If she demanded his life, he would freely give it.
But he can't provide her the warmth she needs with the slayer right there.
He tucks the blanket in around her form. Sango and Kaede watch, but neither says a word, which is smart.
He sits at her side, Tetsusaiga resting across his lap.
"Is there anything that we can do to stop it?" He asks in the quiet. Miroku chants something outside the room, and he can feel the prickling of a barrier starting.
"The curse?" Kaede asks, and he nods. "Aside from breaking it, we are doing everything we can. No one here wants to see Kagome hurt any more."
That answer was acceptable to all of him.
"Sango, has Kagome talked about any of her time away from ye?" Kaede asked.
"No. She talked about purifying the youkai, but that's it. She won't talk about any of it."
Inuyasha stared at the sleeping girl.
What the fuck was he gonna do if she didn't even talk to Sango about it?
"I was afraid that might be the case." Kaede let out a soft sigh before standing up. "Kagome might be disoriented when she wakes." She pushed the sheet off to the side as she walked out into her main area. "Inuyasha, I would ask that ye come sit outside for a bit. Kagome will not wake anytime soon, I promise."
He snarled at her. Fangs bared, hands gripping the hilt of his sword.
"You are not locking me out of this room again!"
He shifted onto one knee to be better prepared for retaliation.
"I have no intentions of restricting your access to Kagome any further," Kaede stated. "In case ye've forgotten, it is our plan to keep ye in the barrier."
He glanced between her and Kagome.
"I will be here," Sango reminded him, like that really mattered.
"Fine, hag," he grumbled, standing up, only to stagger his first steps out of the room, gripping the wall to stabilize himself.
He heard Sango take a breath to say something, and he whipped his head towards her.
"Shut your fucking mouth," he snapped, stepping out into the main room after Kaede. He plopped down onto the cushion as Miroku's barrier went up, making his skin tingle with the flare of reiki, even if it wasn't malicious. "What do you want?" He asked Kaede, and she lifted a small pile of blankets where familiar fox fluff disappeared from sight almost instantly as it dug deeper into the little den he'd created.
Inuyasha sighed and let his face fall into his hand.
"Shippo," he called, annoyed that he was even having to do so. "Get out here."
The blankets shook in response.
"If you make me come get you," he warned and Shippo's head came up out of the blankets, waterlogged and snotty. "What're you crying for?"
"Kagome—" he sniffled, glancing towards the room.
Ah.
He must've come back looking for dinner and heard all that.
Fuck.
"Stop crying. Ain't like she's dead."
Also—probably—not the best thing to say at the moment, judging by Kaede's eye roll.
Huffing, he held his hand out to the fox as an invitation to curl up into his lap.
Shippo stared, waiting for a moment, before darting out and into Inuyasha's lap, curling up into an impressively small ball, settling in the dip of his lap.
Inuyasha rested his hand gently on the kit's side as Shippo tried to stifle his tears and sniffling.
"Kagome is going to be fine," he stated plainly, almost as an order to the fates themselves.
"Y-You d-don't know that," he sniffled.
"Runt, do you really think that I'd let anything happen to her?"
"No," he said, his little hands digging into the fire rat on his pants. "But that doesn't mean it won't."
Well, the kit wasn't wrong on that point, and it probably came from seeing both of his parents die. And hearing their discussion about the curse probably didn't help matters either.
He grabbed Shippo by the base of his tail and held him up so they were eye to eye.
"Cursed or not, Kagome ain't dying anytime soon. She's tough," he faltered, taking a steadying breath. "She's fought off curses before. She'll be fine." He dropped the kit back into his lap, and Shippo scrabbled to reclaim his seat. "But your blubbering is only gonna make her upset, so cut it out."
Shippo nodded, curling his tail against himself and Inuyasha stroked the soft fur of it as his sniffling stopped and died off.
Miroku pushed the mat aside and stepped inside, taking a seat against the wall.
"You look better," he commented, resting his staff beside him, and taking a bowl from Kaede.
"Better be talking to the old hag," Inuyasha answered as Shippo took a bowl from Kaede, who merely raised an eyebrow at his retort before handing him his own bowl.
He took it and began eating as Kaede took a bowl to Sango.
"Can I go sit with Sango and Kagome?" Shippo asked, tilting his head back to look at Inuyasha.
"For a bit," he said with a nod of his head. Shippo set his bowl down gently, moving to leap off his legs, but Inuyasha clamped a hand down on his back, smashing him against his knee to pin him in place. "No jumping, got it?"
"I'll be gentle," he promised and Inuyasha let him go, finishing off the bowl and took seconds. He was hungry; seconds and thirds weren't unusual for him, but today it felt like he was a literal bottomless pit.
One of his ears flicked back to listen to the soft whispering in the other room.
Shippo promised that he would help Kagome get better and bring her lots of flowers and make sure that Inuyasha didn't upset her at all.
He snorted at the idea that the kit could actually stop him from doing anything.
Finishing off his third bowl, Kaede fed him a fourth. Miroku raised an eyebrow at the bowl.
"Hungry today?" He asked, still eating his own singular bowl.
"What of it?"
"Nothing. It's just unusual for you is all."
"Ye only eat this much when ye are healing from a severe injury." Kaede scanned him over as she handed him another bowl.
"Well, I ain't hurt," he commented, continuing to eat his fill. Kaede had put so many vegetables in it, it was no wonder that he wasn't full yet. Did he need he to hunt more? Did she want him to hunt more?
Both of them stared at him as he finished off his bowl and stood, walking back into the room, situating himself at the head of her futon.
He would keep watch.
"I can sleep in here tonight," Sango offered.
"I got it. Take the runt with you."
Sango stood taking her bowl with her, and Inuyasha nudged Shippo with his foot.
"I don't wanna go," he grumbled. Inuyasha growled at him, and Shippo, the little shit, growled back in retaliation.
"Not an option," he said, his growl lowering so that it rumbled throughout the room, subsonic and vicious.
Shippo shook his head.
"Go!" He snarled, and Shippo finally crawled away, but not before pausing at the doorway and hissing at him.
Little shit.
"He's lucky you like him," Inuyasha grumbled to the unconscious girl on the floor as he brushed some of the damp hair from her face.
A/N: Uh, so I guess apologies are in order for last week. So, uh, sorry?
