NGE characters belong to their respective owners.

note: Took a while to update, but this is a longer chapter than the last one. Happy reading ;-)


"…hate you! My family won't be dead if not for you! Don't get me wrong... you don't think we'd actually respect you just cause we worked under you? Old fool, you've lost it all the moment you got your stupid Impact! Why do we have to suffer for your delusion?! You've nothing to do with global affairs no more! Nothing to offer the world more! Get off the UN! Nasty old troll... No one wants to see your ugly senile mug! Seriously, your type pollute the air we breath. I'm sorry... but allies? (laughter) We're nothing more than casual allies. Annoying loser... Why don't you stop hanging on my coattails? There's no way I'd be caught dead doing your bidding. I LOATHE YOU! Go DIE, freak! (laughter) It'd be better if you'd never been born. Dammit, go rot in hell! How disgusting! You're cancer to our species! (laughter)"

Shrouded under darkness, the Ruler of the World—the role by which he imagined himself to be in his heart—was fleeing from unexpected drones of pesky reprimands when he stumbled upon—to his great relief—his most powerful subject.

"Project Tabris! Split of Adam! Summit of my life's work!" cried the Ruler to his divine servant. "The time has come for you to deliver on your promise!"

"Chairman Keel Lorenz," Tabris' reply came smooth and with a smile. "Leader of SEELE. Ruler of Lilin. The time has indeed come for me to deliver on my promise…and also for you to pay back what you owe."

Owe…? Something was off with his servant's wording, decided Keel Lorenz. The Ruler of Lilin tried voicing his rebuke: "Project Tabris—"

"I'm not your project."

Even as Tabris cut him off, Keel abruptly found himself bound under heavy cuffs, with what appeared to be a barred prisoner's dock materializing around his person. All this; just when he thought he was free from physical threats and limitations forever. Were the cuffs and the dock really LCL manifesting ala the Spear of Longinus? Or were these merely illusions as resultant from Tabris drilling into his psychological wavelength?

"Why?!" asked the bound, baffled Ruler of his now blatantly treacherous servant.

Tabris's civil smile dimmed with something like genuine empathy. "Because I am not you."

As the angel spoke, his backdrop came to slowly illuminate, revealing an improbably grand courtroom from outside the stretch of darkness surrounding Keel's dock, with basketball-court-sized witness boxes fronting an ocean-wide expanse of a gallery. All seats were visibly occupied, filling the vast space with what appeared to be the entire Humanity itself.

"A trial…" murmured Keel, noting how numerous groups of spectators were raising banners with the words "DOWN WITH SEELE" written in blood red letters. "SEELE's…" He also heard outcry against him, specifically, echoing from their midst.

"…monster…monster…down with Lorenz…down with the inhuman monster…"

"…Mine?" Keel started laughing in spite of his rapidly deteriorating situation. "What nonsense, I've been untouchable since back before Instrumentality; I've been untouchable since way back." He stared straight and hard into Tabris's red, sad eyes. "Yes…ever since that time."


"…with this trial, our moms can rest in peace…"

"… actually got to speak to mine earlier on in this strange place..."

"…saw mine too, looking just like in those old family photos…"

Idly listening in on the anxious conversations from around her, Asuka looked around this "courtroom"—a setting appearing no less fantastical than the theatre from before—with arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

At present, she was standing alongside her many classmates from Tokyo-3 First Municipal Junior High School. Beside her were the now joyfully teary-eyed Hikari, holding onto her Toji—restored to uninjured good health within Instrumentality—as though he was the treasure at her rainbow's end. They even had Wonder Girl—or rather, her quantum-ish split multiples—present, as the Seed/Human now manifested as numerous uniformed security guards positioned around the room, all wearing her face and image. Asuka could spot four of such "Reis" standing guard around the shadow-obscured prisoner's dock in the distance, the one said to be caging up Keel Lorenz. The one Rei they had with them was actually chatting it up with Kensuke—something that would be unimaginable not very long ago—from where she stood guard at the edge of their box.

Everyone from Class 2-A was here…except for him.

"If you're looking for Shin-man, he took the bench."

Jolting at Toji's voice, Asuka turned towards her former Tokyo-3 nemesis. Nothing like that stooge who flashed her on Over the Rainbow, this now mature-seeming young man faced her with neither irony nor mirth. Asuka noted how Hikari's hand remained firmly grasped upon that of Toji's newly regained arm.

"There," Toji tilted his head gesturing up ahead, indicating the grand judge's bench elevated above the court's ground level. Squinting, Asuka saw from within that unlit space that boyish silhouette crouched over upon his seat in that weak, withdrawn posture that was distinctively him.

"Shinji…" the word escaped her clenched teeth in a hiss.

"As the pilot of Unit 01, he is to be the judge of that monster," supplied Toji, his tone (carefully?) neutral.

"Of course he is!" Asuka all but spat out her words. "Who else but the pilot of goddamned Unit 01 gets to be the judge of us all?! That—"

"Asuka?"

Hikari's concerned voice had Asuka biting back the crude curses she was about to let out, instead settling for turning away to hide her own rage-twisted face.

Having absorbed so much info regarding the current Impact, Asuka had since resigned herself to accept the undisputable fact that it was Unit 01, not her own Unit 02, that had the Lance the Tree the S2 Engine and most importantly Ikari Yui's soul that made it the literal heart of this Collective Consciousness. But Shinji…even while literally propped up by the world itself, even when given this enviable task of utmost importance due to blatant nepotism, Ikari Shinji still somehow managed to remain his usual doom gloom passive-assed impotent self. This, when that one task should demand his utmost focus, when the outcome would affect everyone around him and beyond… and he still decided to just give up and remain a pile of garbage, just because.

Essentially a seasoned child military personnel herself, Asuka could only find this side of Ikari Shinji—despite his brief moments of startling passion and bravery—pathetic.

Before, she wanted to be understanding of his trauma, to give him a chance, but he was already letting her down before she could even try.

And really…just what was she doing here, wasting time on some boy who was little more than a random stranger crossing her path by chance, when Mama still remained lost in despair somewhere within this LCL sea? This is almost just as stupid on her part, she thought with her head hung low.

Mama. Mama was the one who needed her, whom she needed. Mama must be her top priority at this uncertain time.

"Asuka-chan, there you are!"

Startled out of her angst by that girlish chirp, Asuka looked up to see Lieutenant Ibuki Maya flitting down the aisle and towards their witness box.

"All NERV and Gehirn personnel manipulated into being part of SEELE's Human Instrumentality Project are to gather at the lectern to aid in the counsel's functions," said Ibuki, somehow radiating barely contained exuberance even within this apocalyptic setting. "Come with me, Asuka-chan." She also addressed the Fourth Child. "Toji-kun, you can better serve this trial by staying here with your classmates." Toji gave her a crisp nod as his reply.

The mention of Gehirn grabbed Asuka's attention. "Is my mother Soryu Zeppelin Kyoko also present at the lectern?" she asked.

Ibuki's expression dimmed somewhat at the mention of Mama, much to Asuka's alarm.

"Ah…Soryu-san…will indeed be part of this trial; though…like Commander Ikari, she would be among the exhibit lineup in custody of the court cler—" Ibuki got cut off by Asuka's hands grabbing onto her shoulders.

"What'd you mean Mama is in some exhibit lineup?!" Frantic, Asuka tried to force a hand into Ibuki's flesh, to seize more info, but the latter managed to slip out of her grasp in this literally fluid manner. The girl was about to charge the older woman, when a firm if still gentle gesture stopped her short.

"I understand your concern for your mother, Asuka-chan," said Ibuki, her tone so sincere it actually left Asuka somewhat pacified. "But please calm down. You need to stay in control of your emotions even within this mind-bending Collective Consciousness if you are be of help to this trial…and also Soryu Zeppelin-san's current condition."

"Mama's current condition…"

"Please come with me, Asuka-chan. You will understand everything when we meet up with the rest of our group."

Still somewhat uncertain, Asuka nonetheless allowed the NERV Lieutenant to escort her away from the witness box and towards the multi-level lectern. Glancing back at the Class 2-A group, she was met with Toji and Kensuke's watchful gazes, along with Hikari's small "thumbs up" of encouragement. Through it all, the thing that left the deepest impression on Asuka, somehow, was that she so happened to be moving from one Rei (guard) to the next….


"So they're calling this trial The Last Judgement, huh?" pondered Misato from the top-level platform overlooking the oversized lectern, which was rapidly filling up from the continuous stream of incoming NERV and Gehirn personnel gathered.

"Fitting," commented Ritsuko from beside her. "This really is the Apocalypse, after all."

They saw, from among the gathered staff on the lower platforms, Makoto calming a still visibly shaken Shigeru, all the while shooting furtive, somewhat bashful glances up at Misato.

"Poor Makoto-kun, that risqué manner with which his admired superior drew him into this Seed Body really did leave room for loads of misunderstanding."

"Speak for yourself, Sempai Codename: I Need You."

Instead of the snide comeback jab Misato had anticipated, Ritsuko's reply was one of earnest conviction:

"I meant what I said to Maya, and she understood. There's no misunderstanding between us."

"I see…." nodded Misato, beaming broadly in spite of herself. "Congratulations, Rits."

"Oh?"

"Sounds like you've made a clean break with Commander Ikari when you attended his transition earlier on."

"…clean break indeed," murmured Ritsuko, gazing off into the murky, LCL-toned distance as though it was some dark, soul-draining abyss.

Kicking herself mentally for having opened that can of worms (of course Rits couldn't have escaped the relationship unscathed HE SHOT HER), Misato changed topic: "Say, don't you think we've been holding onto our individual minds remarkably well in this courtroom setting?"

At that, Ritsuko straightened up her lax posture and regained her professional composure. "Earlier on, during Ikari's transition, the Seventeenth Angel mentioned how he was going to make this trial the focus of all humanity—much like the earlier theatre. As a Seed he obviously have the means to contact and affect multiple individual human minds, be this primarily Lilith's Seed Body."

Relieved that Ritsuko's mood had gotten less dark, Misato saw it fit to raise a nagging concern of hers with her long time friend and colleague. "Surely you can also tell how strange this is."

Ritsuko got her drift. "You wondered about the Seventeen's reason for going to such lengths to trial SEELE right inside this Collective Consciousness."

"Humans desire vengeance when wronged," stated Misato, breathing in deeply. "As someone who got slammed by Second Impact right at its epicenter, I can understand how punishing SEELE publicly can appease this wounded Humanity by offering it a sense of justice being done. But these SEELE members have since lost their monetary and military influences…in other words, they should be powerless and unimportant by now. There are far easier methods to publicly punish them than holding such an elaborate trial—one involving angelic powers cast upon all of Humanity, even. Why would we even need to trial, say, Keel Lorenz," she glared down upon the shadow-cloaked prisoner's dock area, "when everyone have already been briefed on his crimes at the Room of Guf Theatre, and could now read his memories through a simple touch?" Her gaze went up and at the judge's bench, at her young charge seated crumpled up in his corner. "And Shinji-kun, even in such a state, is being placed on the bench…."

"The angel is indeed strangely fixated upon Shinji-kun…." commented Ritsuko, sounding somewhat distracted as she scratched her chin.

"It's strange enough how a Seed like Tabris would display such interest in a human boy like Shinji-kun." Face drawing tight, Misato spoke on pushing the discussion towards a growing worry of hers that she needed voicing. "But it really makes no sense for him to exert such effort over a now completely powerless Keel Lorenz." She leaned closer to be right in Ritsuko's face, seeking confirmation for the suspicion eating at her. "Unless…"

"… unless Lorenz is not yet completely powerless," said Ritsuko, meeting her in the eye and finishing her sentence for her. "Not even after losing both physical form and worldly prestige."

Even without physical form, Misato now felt chilled to the core. "Rits…"

"Misato." Ritsuko gave her that infuriating "you should've known better" look. "You've had direct experience with SEELE's member through NERV's official meetings with the Instrumentality Committee. Surely even you can tell how none of those old men are stupid enough to plan an Instrumentality where they'd end up disadvantaged? However much they want immortality, do you really think they'd stand for losing all worldly powers while being mentally exposed to a world full of people whose lives they ruined?"

"But… regardless of their prior plan or intent, Tabris and Rei are the ones in control now." Her fear unfortunately confirmed, Misato now found herself held back by stubborn denial. "Those SEELE members should've already lost everything—even their physical forms—inside this Seed Body. Even Keel Lorenz—"

"None of us managed to even touch him."

Misato whirled at the new voice cutting into the conversation. "Kaji!"

Devoid of his faux-suave front, the triple agent got up to in front of the Nerv department heads with what Misato recognized to be glum defeat in his heavy steps. "I was among the NERV team and co. out to arrest Keel Lorenz earlier on."

"Unsurprising," murmured Misato, knowing about Kaji's past as a Second Impact orphan turned street kid prior to his college days.

Kaji nodded in admission of his obvious grudge against SEELE. "Indeed, like any hot-blooded Impact victim, all of us were pumped up on the chance to exact revenge upon the true culprit behind Second Impact." Kaji's voice and posture grew increasingly taut with tension. "Even though the threats and accusations our members hurled at Lorenz appeared to have ruffled him up, somehow none of us managed to invade his personal space, let alone make actual contact with him." Looking over the rail, he glared down upon the shadowy prisoner's dock, where only the Seventeenth's luminous pale figure was visible. "In the end, it took Nagisa's powers to actually get him bound and arrested. It's almost like…like he'd still possess some kind of impenetrable barrier around his individual person even here." He too, like Misato, turned towards Ritsuko seeking confirmation for his outlandish-seeming suspicion. "Something like…"

This time, even the cool-playing Head Scientist of NERV widened her eyes in genuine shock. "…an AT Field?"

"A human wielding an AT Field right inside a Seed Body exuding Anti-AT Field?!" gasped Misato, raised voice quaking at the edges. "That's—" Her words ceased at that other presence now showing up to take over Kaji's form.

"Keel Lorenz isn't just any human," stated Dr. Katsuragi, the tone of his ominous voice grim as his revelation. "He is the divine thief who got to enter this Hybrid Seed Body with Tabris's holy blood coursing through his veins."


From behind bars, the prisoner bemoaned:

"I can bar all others from my inner heart. Not you, though. You're in my blood like holy wine, even now.

"My Tabris, spirit of Adam in human incarnate.

"Born of the catastrophic contact known to the world as Second Impact, an angelic creation bearing Adam's blood. Yes, your human vessel is the fountain of that miraculous, empowering lifeblood that allowed even a decrepit, terminally injured mortal like myself to preserver on till this glorious moment of Human Instrumentality.

"Indeed, I've been drawing blood from you like some medieval vampire count…day by day, all your life. How you must've grown to hate me throughout the years you've lived as my blood bank, thinking that this old man is some revolting parasite leeching off you. How you must think I owe you for having made you suffer.

"Then…is this your way of enacting retribution upon me?"

Smiling in dark irony, the imprisoned creator raised his oversized cuffs at his current captor.

"Do even angels hold the concept of vengeance? Of an eye for an eye?

"But however much I owe you, know that you owe me more, much more.

"The only reason your blood is compatible with mine is because your humanoid form is created with my own genetic material fused with Adam's flesh.

"In other words, you, Tabris, are a hybrid clone created in my image and Adam's might. Your current beauty is an albino version of the comely youth I once was; your innate musical talent is my very own…

"…as is your taste for sensitive young men who are fragile like glass."

Keel spotted, to his delight, a jolt cracking the young one's once immaculate composure—the first definitive sign of a meaningful reaction from the rebelling angel.

"Do you think you could've bewitched Ikari's son without my 'Lilin' beauty, 'Kaworu-kun'?" he asked, smiling broadly as he advanced forward. "Dare you approach your precious little Hedgehog wearing Adam's original face?" Reaching forth with his cuffed hands, he grabbed onto the prisoner's dock's thick bars. "Back when you lived as my heavenly slave, you've promised me that you could evolve me and my Committee into true godhood—as one unified indestructible godlike being of everlasting life and glory—through Human Instrumentality." His broad smile drew even further back into a rictus grin. "Your promise—more so than the Dead Sea Scrolls—is what drove SEELE into going all out to trigger this current Impact, for which you're now trialing us for crimes against humanity!"

"Chairman—" The angel started, but got cut off.

"Tabris, you promised," snarled Keel, growing bestial with budding rage. "You owe it to SEELE's Council to deliver on your promise." His oversized cuffs knocked against the bars in anguished clangs. "You. Owe. ME!"

After his shouting came a moment of silence. Then…

"…I do owe you," admitted Tabris, much to Keel's surprise. "If nothing else, I owe you for my Lilin upbringing."

"Tabris…."

"You're a cruel man by any Lilin definition, but you've never been unnecessarily cruel with me. The blood transfusion sessions were also kept to minimal pain on my end. Most importantly, you've never restricted my scope of Lilin experience or knowledge while raising me up—unlike what Ikari Gendo had done with my sister. Come to think of it, you even taught me playing the piano by hand in my childhood, even though your spinal pains were already serious even then. For one like myself, flesh and blood is but a small price to pay for meaningful contact with others…and perhaps what you Lilins call love."

Keel searched his angelic charge's youthful face for signs of mockery, for irony, but could find only frank earnestness. "Tabris… with exception of the young blood transfusion, I couldn't have provided better care to my own grandchild than what I've given you. If you understand, then why…?"

"Unlike all other Lilins, your LCL mass is held intact by its fusion with my blood," revealed Tabris. "As the designated Angel of Free Will, mine is the Seed's Lifeblood that can safeguard your mental focus even within Instrumentality's blurring mechanism. This guarantees your success in potentially crafting for yourself any physical form you desire—you only need to imagine yourself to be so in your heart."

"You mean…"

"With all Lilin lives currently in fluid state, you can also draw other Council Members into your being for coexistence as a united colony. With my blood coupled with your Lilin essence, you are almost unique in your new form's ability to coexist indefinitely along with other Lilith-based life forms. In other words, my promise to you has already been delivered—you and SEELE now have the means to attain what you call collective godhood."

"…so I am God after all!" Keel broke into laugher, so joyful he was as to sound and feel hysterical, almost deranged. "Invincible and indestructible! Unto the very end!" Only when his movement grew more exuberant did the clanging of cuffs against bars bring him back to his imprisoned present "But…why?"

The look within Tabris' red eyes—watchful of Keel's reaction all along—gradually shifted from empathy to blatant pity. "Chairman Lorenz, you don't owe me." He gestured to the side, at the gallery in the distance stocked full with Humanity. "You owe them."

Totally not expecting such an impartial statement coming from an angel of his own grooming, Keel found himself in a moment of stupor. "Wha…?"

Steady gaze trained upon Keel, Tabris then pointed up at the judge's bench, currently taken by Ikari's son. "You owe him."

"…is that what this is about?" Keel found himself shaking and heating up at his charge's brazen accusations. "Tabris…you'd choose some boy you'd only just met over your lifelong guardian?!"

Face drawing tight, the apocalyptic angel now glared down upon the Ruler of the World in a severe, hardened stance that rendered his pale appearance sculpture-ite . "Chairman Keel Lorenz, I can allow you to attain biological immortality, but only on the condition that the resultant entity is one that will reimburse this planet and the Lilin inhabitants it once abused. SEELE has left in the wake of its ambition a polluted Earth cracked from the Black Moon rising. If you are willing to lead SEELE into becoming a loving, giving entity that will live on to reestablish and preserve balance for this planet's ecosystem, I can void this trial in consideration of your future atonement for your many crimes; you can in turn realize your lifelong dream of godhood. But if you refuse—"

"What kind of god needs to grovel and beg for his rightful supremacy?!" snapped Keel, who in his pride dismissed the offered choice as a grievous insult. "And from his own creation?!"

"Refuse my offer, and you shall be put through the Last Judgement," warned Tabris, displaying a merciless edge in his unyielding resolve. "Every one of your thoughts, words, and deeds shall be exposed to the whole Lilin Race for their collective scrutiny, then judged by their Messiah in determination of your final fate. I know this is your greatest fear, to again be held at the complete mercy of others, like back when you were just a—"

"ENOUGH!" Mood and fluid mass both simmering to a boil by now, Keel strained against the AT Field-charged cuffs and bars as he struggled to break out of his confines. "Members of SEELE, my true brotherhood!" he implored aloud to the surrounding souls. "Unto thy ruler as we join as one in battle against the fallen angel and his false messiah! Unto our glorious cause to attain true unity and supreme godhood! UNTO ME!"

All around the dock, torrents of orange and yellow rippled and swirled, splashing against each other in a rapidly expanding vortex that incited alarmed cries from the masses at the gallery. Within the brewing storm, multiple voices chanted as one:

"If SEELE cannot control Instrumentality, Instrumentality will be the end of SEELE!

"Better that we attain godhood now, than to risk further threats coming from the disobedient Seeds and the ungrateful Humanity!

"Regain physical form and escape this imprisoning Seed Body, for the realization of our collective hopes and dreams!"

"…very well then." Appearing wearied by their spectacular display of collective rage, Tabris gave SEELE one last pitying, disappointed glance, before turning his back on them as he ascended towards the judge's bench.


"What the hell?!" gasped Asuka at the LCL tornado now exploding from around the prisoner's dock. Beside her, Ibuki had what looked like a cellphone to her ear (even in Instrumentality!) as she walked ahead of the younger girl.

"…yes, Sempai. Got it!" The woman turned towards the Second Child. "Asuka-chan, let's hurry to the lectern where we're immediately needed!"

"Just what's going on here?"

"It looks like SEELE and its leader are trying to flee judgment by merging together into a collective monstrosity then tearing their way out of this Seed Body…even with all of Humanity still conjoined to it!"

"They can do that?! Those bastards…they are gonna hurt or even kill everyone else still stuck in this Collective Consciousness!" Outraged, Asuka naturally thought of exacting immediate retribution upon those nasty old men who had already murdered her once, before realizing how she had no idea how to do so without form. "Well…what can we do?!"

"This means…we must again get…." Somehow, instead of continuing in this vein, the NERV staff somehow exhaled in worry-filled empathy. "Oh, poor Shinji-kun…"

Asuka was about to explode from what she perceived as ill-timed partiality from everyone else towards the useless boy, when she suddenly got Ibuki's drift.

"You mean that idiot can still command Unit 01 even now?" she asked in disbelief. "Even when we've all already been reduced to LCL?"

"If my hypothesis stands, this 'judge's bench' we see is in physical reality Unit 01's entry plug."

"Dr. Akagi!"

It was indeed the NERV Head Scientist, showing up on Ibuki's phone via video call. Misato and Kaji-san could be seen hovering behind the woman in what appeared to be their (thankfully) clothed and professional personas.

"Indeed, Unit 01 has physically entered this Seed Body, and Akagi here believes that Shinji-kun's consciousness is still stationed within the plug," supplied Kaji-san in what Asuka recognized to be a carefully neutral tone put on for her sake…whatever good it to for her sensitive pride.

"In other words, this 'trial' is really Shinji-kun's final battle on behalf of Humanity as an EVA Pilot, against the Eighteenth Angel's true form—SEELE," stated Misato, obviously in her Major mode. "All core NERV personnel are to gather at the lectern and remain on standby until further instructions from Nagisa—" The woman stopped at Asuka's outburst of harsh, derisive laugher.

"I don't believe this…" wheezed Asuka, actually having to make an effort in reining in her chortles. "Not only are you people still counting on 'Invincible' Shinji to fight the world's battle knowing what a let down he is, but also that you're following some angel's orders like he's the goddamned new commander!"

"Asuka, only Shinji-kun can do it," As always, Misato tried reasoning with her in that I'm-the-knowing-adult tone that Asuka always found condescending and hypocritical, especially coming from this mess of a woman. "With Keel Lorenz currently using his angel blood to merge his many loyal SEELE accomplices to himself, the resultant colossal monster will be one that requires an EVA to tackle. As our sole remaining EVA, Unit 01 is now Humanity's only hope of stopping SEELE from damaging this Seed Body that's our current lifeline and sanctuary—"

"Doesn't matter when we all know your amateur child soldier ain't got the strength to endlessly keep fighting what should've been battles for professionals!" barked Asuka into the phone, with such spite that had Ibuki jolting and Misato silenced. "Pathetic…all of you cowardly adults pretending to be the good guys…!" Livid, she now included Akagi and even Kaji-san in her denouncement, to all their apparent shock. "In the name of protecting mankind you NERV sheeple enabled a corrupt system that guilt-tripped this ordinary kid into piloting a volatile bio-weapon endlessly fighting your monsters on your battlefield for you! With Instrumentality you've all got front row view on how Shinji got hurt got traumatized how he snapped and you people still have the gall to again rely on this scared novice to pilot using the good old only-he-can-do-it excuse!? Is there zero empathy in you growups for kids you sacrifice to protect your own selfish scaredy hides? Or are you all truly stupid enough to believe that Shinji can magically bounce back into fighting form after just getting totally destroyed physically and emotionally? Well, he can't! Because he! Aint'! Me!"Her tirade left Major Misato tongue-tied and she herself heaving.

"Asuka-chan…" Kaji-san tried to intervene, but was met with Asuka's raised palm at the phone screen.

"Your invincible Shinji doesn't have my years of military-grade training," she growled, determined to say her piece. "As a seasoned pilot I can summon the will to keep on fighting even after getting speared and devoured alive like you all just saw. He.Can't! So, if you're gonna pick someone to fight monsters on behalf of Mankind then pick me! Choose me! Look at me!" To her own shock, tears escaped her eyes then, along with a developing tightness in her throat. "…why can't it be me?"

"Asuka…" At last, Misato too tried speaking up, but Asuka kept going.

"Why can't I be the one to save the world?" By now, the words were spilling out of Asuka's trembling mouth as though of their own accord, with her will powerless to stop them coming. "I'm the child soldier here, trained from childhood. I'm the one who want to prove myself through fighting these soul-crushing battles…I am NERV's willing eager pawn. So why can't I be the one to beat SEELE and save everyone in this Seed Body?" She started choking up to her greater mortification. "Why can't I be the one to…save him?"

A moment of silence followed her confession—that deep secret she could only reveal in this strange state. And then….

"So all this time…you weren't simply competing with Shinji-kun," Misato's voice now came childlike with wonder. "But rather…"

"You're trying in your way to be the boy's protector in his NERV situation," said Kaji-san, his tone warm with mature understanding. "Because flawed as he seem to you, you still find yourself drawn towards him."

"You need him…and so you want to feel needed by him in return," stated Dr. Akagi, her voice now more wistful than merely clinical. "All your hard training and your childish putting down of the Second Child since coming here were towards this end. You pressured yourself to be superior to him in every way hoping he'd always remain reliant upon you. You may even subconsciously want him to keep letting you down, because you know in inferiority is where he would have to keep looking up to you."

"…can it," rasped Asuka, roughly wiping away her tears. "I am not your psychoanalysis subject." She then turned on her heel and stomped off away from Ibuki, away from the conversation.

"Asuka-chan, where're you going?" cried Ibuki after her. "The area up front is about to go under the LCL storm, with SEELE—"

"So go seek shelter at your goddamned lectern like the good NERV sheeple you are!" snapped Asuka without turning around, no longer hiding her distaste for the demure but useless adult. "That tacky multi-platform design could mean it is really the Command Center in physical reality for all we know!"

"Asuka-chan—"

"Leave me alone! I've fulfilled all pilot duties when I died protecting you all! How about you NERV adults grow up and try doing your job to battle global threats without relying on children!?"

Pretty soon afterwards, Asuka could no longer hear footsteps from behind. As expected, the bridge bunny dared not follow her any closer to the SEELE twister. Already LCL was drizzling then raining hard from all around her: a perfect deterrent for these meddlesome yet ultimately negligent adults who cared without caring enough….

It was only then that she realized how, by leaving the NERV group, she had possibly just thrown away the best chance she had of again finding Mama in Instrumentality. She, who strived to be a dutiful daughter, had ultimately given up on her mother just to quarrel over some weak, flawed boy she'd only known for months.

"…damn…dammit…" she hissed from underneath her shivering breath, before throwing back her head to wail aloud in the raging storm like some berserk beast. "DAMMIT ALL!"

Through tears and LCL, she saw, from up above, the unruffled albino figure of one Tabris floating up towards the judge's bench or entry plug or whatever, towards everyone's favorite tool passively awaiting usage by his next mistress…or master.

"Shinji…you idiot!" Ferocious even when without her EVA, the Second Child continued forcing her way through the orange torrents currently slamming against her as she made for the willfully dormant Third Child wasting his seat of power and falling easy prey for some alien boy toy—which somehow she could not stand to let happen. "This is all your fault!" Half swimming through the raging sea, she had to keep spitting disgusting SEELE-flavored LCL from her mouth just to speak on. "I let Mama down because of you, do you hear me?!" Crying openly now, she glared up to the bench's seat at this brittle, vulnerable silhouette that ultimately proved her undoing. "Ikari Shinji, after this whole frigging mess is over, I'll…you…!"


. . . to be continued?