Notes: Updating to show this fic and I are both still alive ;-)
NGE characters belong to their respective owners.
Swarmed by his storm of innumerable intimate subjects, the wanton Ruler laughed…cried…moaned:
"…what is this sensation?
"It's like back when I was still attractive and young, able to connect with the bodies of others in genuine shared desires, where the borders between individual selves blur…becoming one.
"This feels so good, getting to live freely as one with likeminded soulmates…just like how we used to…back then…"
Hazy gaze falling upon the colossal Tree of Life hanging in the distance, Keel saw, in its crucifix shape, a resemblance to something he himself had lost to Second Impact: a grave mark he visited regularly from youth, since submerged under the area's irreversible flooding. Resurfaced memories of the one beyond that grave cooled his exuberance somewhat, though the thrill of continuous physical evolution still kept him high.
"…if only…
"…you…"
Awake in a dream could not even begin to describe what she was experiencing at this moment.
"…so this multi-platform lectern really is the Command Center in physical reality," marveled Misato, taking in the familiar setting, along with the even more familiar sensations of being, once again, physical. "I feel…real. But…" She studied her jacket. "How is it that there's no damage on my outfit? I did take a bullet back then…"
"You sure these are really your original outfit?"
Kaji's rhetorical question had her turning towards him. Lips thinned in an ironic grin, the man met her gaze as he undid his loose tie, and tossed it up in the air. Misato gasped at seeing the tie "melting" off into a hail of yellowish bubbles that quickly dissipated into thin air.
"…LCL?" she asked in disbelief, the leathery surface of her "coat" now felt extra-cool under her fingertips.
"Looks like our current wardrobe is simply what we image ourselves to be wearing in our hearts, and can disappear upon our rejection of it," explained Ritsuko, already typing away at a workstation. "Also, the 'air' around us is actually LCL in a borderline electrolysed state. Thankfully, it has caused no interference to all systems on site."
Down below at bridge level, the trio of main computer techs—including the returned Maya—had since resumed working at the Coordinated Analysis Centers.
"Physical borders around core staff on site confirmed!" exclaimed Shigeru, shedding tears of joy gliding past the air-thin LCL surrounding him. "We're ALIVE!"
"Melchior and Balthasar running at full capacity, with Casper remaining in hibernation," reported Maya, who glanced up exchanging a knowing look with Ritsuko.
"All search satellites operational!" stated Makoto, pulling up the relevant visuals onto the various big screens around them. "Turns out NERV HQ's core structure has been physically detached from the Black Moon, and is currently placed inside Lilith's Seed Body. HQ interior now in a similar state as the moment of Pre-Impact, bakelite-flooded corridors and all. The only thing missing are the bodies of the many deceased that should be lying all around."
"To be alive inside a god…" mulled Misato over this incredible state they now found themselves in. The video frames on screen showed the now shell-less, skeletal-looking HQ structure floating within what looked like a massive abyss of LCL. "I take it we are somewhere inside the stomach of Lilith?"
"The heart, going by the vague similarities between Seed and human anatomy," corrected Ritsuko.
"Finally, a god who'd bother to take us poor sobs to heart," chuckled Kaji, shaking his head. "I take it the Collective Consciousness of Humanity now exists within Lilith's LCL-like bloodstream?"
"Looks like it," confirmed NERV's chief scientist, pulling up more eternal footages and diagrams onto the big screens. "Magi detects diluted webbings of A.T. Fields all long Lilith's veins, which alludes to how the partially-merged souls within the Collective Consciousness have still-retained quasi-individualistic characteristics. Thus explains how each of us still retained our different thoughts and opinions while able to see into each other's minds back then." Her gaze traveled went back and forth the two screens showing the soul-reddened Black Moon cupped by Lilith's hand, and the HQ floating within the Seed's heart. "To think Lilith would absorb the entirety of NERV Headquarters' manmade structure unto herself—appendices included—and then regurgitating us specific individuals within it back into physical form…."
"The Seed exerted extraordinary effort in resurrecting NERV to physical functionality ahead of Instrumentality's intended conclusion," summarized Kaji, scratching at his chin. "But why? Didn't the Seventeenth imply how we're supposed to help trial SEELE at the Last Judgment—which is taking place within the Collective Consciousness?"
"Could be that Tabris intends for NERV and Unit 01 to pose physical threat to SEELE, all so the Last Judgment can proceed smoothly within Instrumentality," pointed out Misato, back in her tactician mode. "Makoto-kun," she called down to the bridge. "Can we get video of whatever nature-defying monstrosity Keel Lorenz and his goons have since become?"
"I've got it!" interjected Shigeru, already pulling up the satellite video. "Target also present within the heart chamber, currently bearing a static position 7 kilometers away from HQ at 2 o'clock high. Visuals suggest the colony-like creature is still in a continuous state of enlarging evolvement."
The satellite had a clear view of the growing monstrosity in the physical plane. It bore a similar appearance to how it appeared to all souls within the Collective Consciousness, with a vortex of LCL gushing around its massive, twitching form. 3D renderings of the creature behind the obcuring waves revealed something resembling a mystical western dragon, albeit one with moving anthropomorphic grotesques in place of reptilian scales, making it resemble a misshapen gothic building came alive. Magi designated the creature as the Eighteenth Angel – SEELE.
"Behold the beauty that is SEELE's true form," snipped Kaji, glaring at the monstrous manifestation of his lifelong nemesis. "A group of corrupt old trolls lording over other trolls lording over other trolls…to think so many would willingly support Lorenz's mad scheme even now…"
"If allowed to grow further, SEELE will pose risk of blockade to the Seed's artery," observed Maya, face paling.
"Even before the impending blockade, SEELE's strengthening A.T. Field is already causing harm to the Seed Body's structural integrity," said Makoto, growing increasingly nervous from Magi's data. "It needs to be dealt with and soon, or the Seed Body will perish before the rest of Humanity could regain physical form!"
"…that and everyone in the HQ would then be trapped inside Lilith's corpse," supplied Shigeru, prior excitement dimming into renewed worry.
"What is the Seventeenth thinking allowing Lorenz that kinda power?!" hissed Misato from underneath her breathe, before speaking up to the bridge trio. "What is Unit 01's status?"
"Unit 01 is currently encased within the Tree of Life, the exterior matter of which is formed by the transfigured Spear of Longinus."
"Connection to Unit 01 unstable. We're getting no data on pilot status, nor visuals of the plug's interior."
"With SEELE so happens to be positioned directly between the HQ and the Tree of Life, its powerful A.T. Field is likely interfering with wireless transmission."
Misato considered the limited options available to them. "Can we in any way affect Unit 01 on our currently unstable connection?"
"We can, in theory, still remotely adjust basic plug conditions short of force eject," offered Ritsuko. "Plug depth, temperature, LCL pressure—"
"That's it!" exclaimed Misato, tactical mind having since drawn the connection. "LCL! The electrolysed LCL here inside the HQ must be connected the larger unelectrolysed body outside—the one coursing through Lilith's veins and hosting the Collective Consciousness—or we couldn't have experienced Instrumentality and still manage to end up back here! In other words…"
"…we can still contact everyone within Instrumentality…even in our present physical state?" asked Kaji, as he and all others turned towards Ritsuko for validation.
Eyes widening at the possibility, the resident head scientist hurried to fiddle with the buttons at her station, before her taut red lips softened in a smile: "Magi's organic responses…they are now truly Mother's own: something that would be impossible had this Command Center been completely detached from the Collective Consciousness."
A hopeful twinkle in his eyes, Kaji's mouth had since stretched out nto his signature broad grin. "Which is to say…"
"Everyone focus their minds on summoning the Seventeenth!" exclaimed Misato, feeling exuberant for perhaps the first time since getting fatally shot. "He's key to our next move!"
Instead of the collective "Hai!" she had expected her colleagues, dead silence filled the Command Center's space, as the screen now showed Tabris facing them from where he hovered in space in front of the grand judge's bench. Behind him Shinji could be seen crumpled forward in the judge's seat.
"…how is it possible that we are getting video of something inside Instrumentality?" wondered Ritsuko aloud, apparently shocked into a state of stupor by such science-defying occurrence. "Everything 'happening' there should've been just mental impressions between souls…"
Tabris smiled directly at Ritsuko from the screen, obviously receiving visuals of the Command Center from where he was. "With Dr. Akagi Naoko having fully awakened, she could direct the Magi to translate even mental impressions to physical visual frames in real time," explained the angel with much patience. "Since it is my vision currently controlling what the others in this Collective Consciousness are experiencing, the Senior Dr. Akagi could—"
"Oh yes you're in control," Misato spoke up to Tabris, cutting off the technobabble. "You've obviously been listening in on us for all this time. What have you got to say regarding your making Shinji-kun judge SEELE?" She asked steering the conversation towards the more urgent matter at hand.
Tabris' smile dimmed at her question. "I believe Dr. Katsuragi had already briefed you all on Keel Lorenz's unique physical nature, that he happens to be the key to repairing Earth's broken ecosystem for the Lilins soon to return."
Displeased by the angel's crafty non-reply (and bringing up her father of all people), Misato's next words took a harsher turn: "Lorenz happens to be the key only because you chose him for that role."
Tabris frowned. "Major Katsuragi—"
"As a Seed with vast otherworldly powers, there is no way you cannot stop a mere human from taking your blood even in your infantile state," stated Misato, refusing to let him off the hook. "Or, maybe at least destroy him before he got to become this…monster, a threat to even the Seed Body that is Humanity's current refuge." At Tabris' mouth opening, she gave him the palm. "And now that problem arises, you again try involving Shinji-kun in your plans."
"Major—"
"I know you're trying to prop Shinji-kun up as this messianic figure to the World, you and his mother. Having done so much, been through so much, Shinji-kun does deserve to rise and become a legend for Mankind. He has every right to judge and exact vengeance on those SEELE old men, but has no obligation to pilot EVA against his will ever again. Won't you agree, Commander Nagisa?"
The sarcasm in Misato's usage of "Commander" was so thick it dripped. The others in the Command Center watched the ensued standoff between their feisty Major and the solemn Angel in silence, until….
"No one with a working conscience would push Shinji-kun through even one more traumatic EVA battle," Makoto spoke up in support of Misato. "Even if it is for saving the world."
"Like…yeah, that kid has already been through way too much trauma as it is," said Shigeru, hesitant but still voicing his piece.
"You forced Shinji-kun to kill you by hand," supplied Maya, quiet and to the point. "That's…damaging, to the say the least."
Misato noticed how, as the bridge bunnies' words flowed, the Angel's once elegant, assured stance grew increasingly taut and brittle. Apparently words were succeeding where weaponry and science had failed in breaking though the Seventeeth's monstrous A.T. Field—a crucial observation in light of the fact that this one, like Leliel and Bardiel before him, currently held both EVA and pilot hostage regardless of its benign front.
"…even so, Shinji-kun is the only one who can judge Keel Lorenz," insisted Tabris, facing the baffled NERV staff with this infuriating, resolute stubbornness that had bile rising in Misato's throat. "I hereby ask NERV for its full cooperation in helping Shinji-kun push the Last Judgment towards the desired conclusion."
"…well…" Exhaling in one long, hissing breathe, Misato decided she was done with the angelic BS and launched into the offensive. "For someone who told Shinji-kun that he loved him, you've proven yourself unfailingly determined in putting him through one traumatic experience after another. Hey Rits," she turned towards her friend with showy flippancy. "You think it's because Angels perceive pain differently than us humans?" To that, Ritsuko merely quirked her lips in an ironic smirk, saying nothing. Misato directed her glare back at their foe. "You…for all your big talk about loving Shinji-kun and wanting to evolve mankind, you seem to care the most about Keel Lorenz."
To that, Tabris actually recoiled as though struck—a reaction confirming the validity of Misato's accusation—under the NERV crew's scrutinizing gazes.
"Nagisa." Kaji spoke up then, his voice low and ominous like the pre-thunder of an approaching storm. "It may be true that you, though from Adam, love this Humanity of Lilith's spawning. You hated Keel Lorenz for being a threat to Humanity from the very beginning, yet you also loved him for the human experience he gave you from the very beginning, too. That's why you've contrived to involve Lorenz in you grand plan to bring salvation to Mankind…even knowing of the dire consequences your choice would spell for many."
"Knowing the kind of man he is, you've allowed—no, enable Keel Lorenz and SEELE to remain in their positions of power even after your birth through Second Impact," added Misato, voice and fists tight with anger at her painful recollections of said event. "However noble your claim, you made the choice that led to so many more lives being destroyed throughout the past fifteen years!"
"The dummy plug system SEELE used on the Mass Production EVAs would not have been possible without your implicit consent," stated Ritsuko then, smoothly joining in the guilt-tripping of the now increasingly pallid-seeming divine entity. She pointed a finger to behind him. "We all of us here have been guilty of hurting Shinji-kun in one way or another, but the boy would not be in his current catatonic state if not for you enabling SEELE's tyranny."
"You, essentially the lord god omnipotent by virtue of your Seed powers, I dare suggest you could've easily forced Keel Lorenz and his supporters into whatever biological form you deem fit for repairing Earth's ecosystem," said Kaji, his tone now openly accusing. "Yet here you are, again forcing Shinji-kun to pilot against his will, against this monster of your making…again forcing him to shoulder the weight of your actions!"
Following their superiors' lead, the NERV bridge bunnies got braver with verbally battering the now downcast, obviously weakened Seventeenth:
"That's right! You bewitched Shinji-kun with an offer of love, only to then bring him nothing but pain!"
"How ruthless and self-centered you are…like donor, like clone, huh?"
"Just who do you truly love, or even care for—Shinji-kun, or your 'original copy' Keel Lorenz?"
"Don't make Shinji-kun suffer for your personal objective!" snapped Misato, summarizing their many accusing words into one harsh denouncement, before voicing to the Angel their ultimate demand: "Give Shinji-kun back to us, right now!"
For a while, the Angel remained wordless with his head hung, looking little different than a scolded, vulnerable human child if not for his floating in space. Just when Misato thought the Angel would finally give in and free Shinji, a curl broadening those pale lips alerted her to how it would not be so easy.
"I've known, since my very conception as the Seventeenth, that I am to be judged ahead of him," said Tabris, finally breaking the silence. "Though the knowledge doesn't make NERV's current accusations—all valid—hurt any less."
Lifting his head, the again-smiling Angel faced the NERV staff with a determined spark within his otherworldly red eyes, such that it was now Misato who had to steel herself to avoid stumbling backwards.
"In reply to Kaji-san's statement: no, I could not have forced Keel Lorenz and his supporters into whatever biological form I want. All living things require the will to live for continuous survival—this is a matter of free will.
"Keel Lorenz has mental control over his vast legions of followers, but he himself must still act on his own free will in sculpting SEELE's new physical form, or the resultant species will die out in moments, leaving Earth again uninhabitable for the returned Lilins."
"It's still your fault!" persisted Misato, trying to again guilt the Angel into releasing Shinji. "Had you chosen a less-selfish person to be the Key to fix Earth, instead of succumbing to your base clone inclination and deferring to your scumbag human donor— "
"Judgment, in its basest sense, is the judger crumbling the judged with guilt for the purpose of imposing subjugation upon the latter," stated Tabris, his once gentle tone now of steel. "Shinji-kun…he alone can judge that man. With everything having already been set in motion, he must play out his messianic role unto the very end, else all his prior sufferings leading up to this moment will be for naught."
"You—" What profanity Misato was about to let out got forcibly held back at Kaji's hand clasping down upon her shoulder.
"Nagisa-san." He addressed the Angel with a formality lending impact to the rest of his sentence. "Let me take the bench and pilot the EVA in place of Shinji-kun."
"Kaji…!" gasped Misato, shocked by his outlandish and very reckless request. Vaguely, she noted how the others in the Command Center too had whirled to face him. "But…you…"
"Ultimately, all it takes to be the pilot of Unit 01 is Ikari Yui-san's consent," said Kaji, his eyes never leaving Tabris'. "It doesn't have to be Shinji-kun, doesn't even have to be a child. As someone orphaned by the Second Impact, whose friends got senselessly killed by the goons of Japan's subsequent ruling class, who personally got killed by SEELE, I am certainly more than qualified to be the judge of Keel Lorenz. So, whatever noble end you seek…don't hurt this boy you claim to love anymore. Give Shinji-kun back to us and let me take his place." Stepping up and past Misato, he further surprised everyone by bowing a full ninety-degree at the Angel on screen. "Please...Nagisa-san."
"Kaji…" whispered Misato, seeing her long-time lover under a new light. She had always known about his outstanding courage, that almost boyish recklessness that pushed him to uncover SEELE's truth at the cost of his own life. She knew, if the situation demanded it, he would sacrifice himself heroically for those he loved, cared for. Yet never once did she think Kaji Ryoji would be capable of actually humbling himself for a worthy goal like a mature adult; even if it was for Shinji, and by extension, her….
"That's admirable, Kaji-kun. But Nagisa-san and Yui both have good reasons not to return Ikari's son just yet."
The voice cutting in had everyone looking up and towards the new presence in the Command Center.
"Vice Commander!" chorused the bridge bunnies in unintentionally comedic unison.
It was indeed Fuyutsuki, seen at the top of the Command Tower. Eyes on his subordinates, the elderly man further surprised them by raising a hand forward, and materializing an elaborate set of escalators smoothly incorporated into the existing structure to connect all major levels of the Command Center.
"Just like that…an escalator from out of thin air!" gasped Shigeru.
"Not thin air…this space is actually submerged under an airy form of LCL," Matoko pointed out.
"If our subconscious will can materialize duplicates of our clothing from LCL, then a strong, conscious will should, in theory, be capable of something like…this," reasoned Maya, with apparent hesitancy.
"For it is the hearts of people that define physical borders," stated Fuyutsuki, descending along the "escalator" and towards the Main Level. "Images... the power of the Fruit of Knowledge that Humanity possesses...it's the power to create from what's in your surroundings. Anyone can create objects from LCL, as long as they can imagine their creations full cloth in their own heart. Anything can be created when you have the will and knowledge to create."
"So that's why the HQ has been salvaged and the core personnel brought back," exclaimed Ritsuko in wide-eyed realization. "We, with our regained bodies and refocused minds, now have both will and knowledge to make NERV function with far greater power and efficiency than ever before…"
Misato—priory baffled into a stupor—too made the connection. "…like upgrading this HQ through LCL magic, to the point that it can directly engage the SEELE monster?"
"If that's possible, then why is Shinji-kun still being made to pilot EVA 01 against SEELE?" Kaji asked Fuyutsuki, skeptical.
Stepping across their platform level, Fuyutsuki put a hand around Kaji's shoulder, and ushered the younger man down the next flight of moving stairs. "It's because Shinji-kun is unique in possessing the only soul in existence capable of compelling Keel Lorenz to willingly surrender his humanity for Earth's survival." Misato and Ritsuko hurried to follow from behind.
"How so?" persisted Misato, again voicing the crucial question thus far remained unanswered. "What possible connection could there be between Shinji-kun and Keel Lorenz? They are…"
"…the ultimate protagonist and antagonist within this grand epic we call Third Impact," stated Fuyutsuki, having grouped everyone down on the Bridge Level with him. "Do you honestly think these two could fit these roles if not for some pre-existing connection between them?" Leading the crease-browed Kaji along, the Vice Commander stepped up to behind Shigeru, before speaking quietly to his startled subordinate as they pulled up some data at the workstation.
"…a pre-existing connection…" Misato mulled over the puzzling words. What could possibly connect Shinji to that foreign old goat beyond the fact that they were both biologically human? These two appeared worlds apart….Sure, there was the fact that Ikari Yui's father was a SEELE member, but that alone—
The sound of a loud commotion had her turning towards the giant front screen, showing the masses within Instrumentality now crying out at the sight of the bright orange dome of light currently encasing Shinji at the Judge's Bench.
"At last, Shinji-kun's fragile ego has retained enough border for what's to come," said the Seventeenth from his screen, his intense, determined gaze upon Shinji's radiant figure. "It's time."
"Don't you dare!" Misato all but snapped, livid. "You ain't making Shinji-kun do nothing till you've explained everything to us first!"
"Peace, Major. The truth you seek shall be revealed once the Final Judgment begins," said Tabris, his red eyes alit from still gazing at Shinji. "Fuyutsuki-san, please take care of things on your end."
"I understand," replied Fuyutsuki—without looking up from Shigeru's screen—much to Misato's horror. "Give my regards to Ikari's better half."
Tabris leaned down towards Shinji and began whispering in his ear.
Misato seethed at the turn of events. "Wait—"
And Ritsuko dragging her over towards Shigeru's station—where the rest of her coworkers had since crowded over—interrupted her futile protest. The NERV Major's agitation soon took a backseat to shock upon seeing what was shown on the screen.
"This is…?!"
For one long, immeasurable moment, his world was only one long, perpetual roar. His roar, coming out of a raw throat refusing to quit, was hurting him, killing him. His rage. His desperation. His despair. It was all about him. Only him.
"…holy Messiah, tortured saint…"
Another voice was reaching his hearing. A voice divine, lyrical…another presence incidentally breaking him one out of his lone-suffering mode, incidentally prompting him to stop screaming and just listen to external noises.
"…Ever blessing. Ever blest..."
A boy, sounding handsome and poised and very much unlike himself…how did someone like that intrude into what was supposed to be his own private heart of hearts? That voice…somehow, it was beginning to sound awfully familiar to him…
"…May hearts unfold like flowers before you, opening to the sun above."
'…Kaworu…kun?'
Upon recognizing that voice, the Messiah came to a vision of an improbably grand courtroom, with oversized witness boxes fronting an ocean-wide expanse of a gallery. All seats were visibly occupied, filling the vast space with what appeared to be the entire Humanity itself. In the middle of the vast, pristine space was this splashing orange twister looking totally out of place. Within the twister was this monstrous silhouette seemingly enlarging by the moment. In front of the twister hovered his Angel in space. Facing the Messiah in all his ominous, ethereal glory (just like on that day!), the Angel spoke on in otherworldly grandeur:
"Wake up, shine bright, in this boundless twilight.
"Release all their glacier pasts—
"Let the Final Judgment begin!"
At that thunderous decree, Ikari Shinji jolted upright in the plug as though waking from some brutal nightmare. His frantic gaze was immediately drawn towards the spectacle upon the display: a giant white vortex—similar in shape and flow to the orange one from his vision—made up of countless identical feminine albino entities, going round and around something red and murky like an oversize egg yolk….
"Ayanami…Rei?" gasped Shinji, immediately assailed by horrific recollections of those Rei clones kept in NERV's tanks. His fear multiplied at getting a better look at what was inside that red yolk: an oversized dinosaur-type monster pulsing and twitching within the crimson haze. The closer he zoomed in on that creature, the more hideous it's rough surface appeared…like it was completely covered in moving maggots rearing up…or were those really human arms flailing outwards from that thing's exterior? "Just like…the MP Series…!"
Images of the MP Series spouting deformed Rei faces all over flashed through his mind…just when Shinji thought he was about to collapse from panic, the display zoomed further in upon the monster's surface, revealing a distinctive figure of great familiarity to him.
"…Kaworu-kun?" he asked aloud, before quickly correcting himself. "No…"
This boy—one of those many "people" poking out from the monster's exterior—did indeed bear a striking resemblance to Kaworu. Yet, even submerged within the murky red medium within the massive "yolk", it was apparent how his color contrast was far greater than of the snow fair albino. The facial and bodily expressions—rapturous and earthy, with head thrown back and hips jutting out—also differentiated him from the otherworldly Angel; yet, Shinji still could have sworn he knew this sultry stranger, this not!Kaworu whose presence now filled him with a sense of hair-raising déjà vu.
"Who…are you?" asked Shinji, voice coming out with a tremor.
Right then, this eerie stranger turned to stare directly into Unit 01's visual sensor and at him. Impacted by that hazy, unexplanably familiar gaze, Shinji found his shaky perception of the world again crumbling anew….
. . . to be continued?
Endnotes: Yep. That last scene actually coincides with the bit in EoE where Shinji saw the multiple ghost Reis circling inside Lilith's Seed Body. The aforementioned Final Judgment shall finally begin with the upcoming installment. Please, please continue enabling me with CC so I don't stall (too much)~
