Chapter 55
Sine qua non
"An absolutely necessary component or ingredient"


"Be patient, for the
world is broad and wide."
Romeo and Juliet


Morning came too early, and Kagome regretted every single moment of it.

Her body ached and grumbled at being awake, and she shifted slightly to alleviate the pressure on her bladder, but it too was singing the song of its people and refusing to stay silent.

Clawed fingers flexed over her shoulder, and she found herself shifting to look up at Inuyasha's dozing form a moment before his nose crinkled and he yawned adorably, blinking a few times to clear his vision.

"Hey," she whispered, and his ears flicked towards her, before his eyes focused in on her face.

Looking down at her, she watched a deep pink spread across his face, and she pushed herself away. He was embarrassed, clearly, and the only reason why would be how she'd wound up, and so to make matters easier for him, she quickly shifted away, retreating him touching him entirely before he became so embarrassed he ran away.

"Uh, thanks—for that," she said, pulling away from him so she wouldn't make things worse. "I'll—uh—go see if anyone else is awake."

Turning away, she prepared to stand and head out of the room, maybe drown her sorrows in a—well, in a something.

But a clawed hand snagged her wrist, jerking her back to the blankets beneath her. She'd barely risen up off the ground, so it was only a matter of inches that she fell back.

"No, wait!" His voice was loud in the quiet morning, and she briefly turned to see if anyone would come in at the sound of it, but there was no sound or movement from any of the other rooms. "I didn't mean it—whatever it was I did." His voice was lowered this time, but loud enough that she heard him clearly.

She turned back towards him; her wrist still enveloped in his clawed fingers, but he didn't pull away or let go of her.

"I didn't mean it," he repeated, eyes darting back and forth across her face, as thought he were waiting for confirmation of something.

And she believed him.

She gave him a small nod, and his face softened slightly as did the grip on her hand.

But, she still had to pee.

Pushing herself up, she was entirely prepared to go relieve herself outside, but as she rose, she saw panic flit over his face as his hand gripped hers tightly.

"Inuyasha, I'll be right back."

"I'll go with you!" He blurted out, and she tried to tamp down the blush that was threatening to cover her face. Oh, no. He was not going to be anywhere near where she was. Ever. At least not when she was doing that.

"No," she said with a shake of her head, and he stared at her for a moment with wide eyes like a dog that thought their owner was leaving forever and never returning. "I'll be right back, promise." Her fingers tweaked an ear, which she thought would be reassuring, but the look on his face didn't change at all. "Inuyasha?"

In a moment, he seemed to catch himself, shaking his head slightly before looking away.

"You okay?"

"Fine," he mumbled, still not looking at her.

While she wanted to delve into this latest mystery of the clingy hanyou, she also still really needed to pee, so that mystery would have to be solved at another time. Preferably after a couple minutes in the woods.

"Okay, I'll be right back," she told him, quickly moving out into the main room and then out the door, heading straight for the tree line.

However, a flash of red darted in front of her, making her jump and her bladder scream in protest.

"Where are you going?" He hissed.

"To the bathroom!" She hissed right back, trying to not cross her legs.

He blinked.

"That's it?"

"Yes, that's it! Now go away!" She marched herself into the trees to find a spot out of hearing range of a certain half-demon while her bladder protested every single step of the way.

Her bathroom break had done wonders for her attitude, mostly because it no longer felt like an internal organ was about to explode, and when she stepped back out of the tree line, after rinsing her hands in the steam, she saw Inuyasha still standing where she'd left him, a confused look on his face as his ear twitched towards her.

"You sure that you're okay?" She asked, and he glanced up at her, nodding. "You seem a little off though," she told him. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah," he answered. "You?"

She nodded as her fingers snuck underneath his sleeve and slowly wrapping around his, watching every line of him seemingly relax as soon as her skin brushed his.

"Good," he breathed. "That's good."

His ear flicked back towards the hut, and she rose on her tiptoes to see what was going on.

"Miroku's awake," he grumbled, looking off to the side.

"We should go help with breakfast then," she suggested, taking a step towards the hut, his hand still trapped within her grip. She made it a single step before a soft tug on her hand stopped her. He still wasn't looking at her, but both ears were twisted in her direction.

"Do you—" He started, huffing a little. "Do you feel up to heading out today?"

She stared at him, watching his shoulders start to raise and hunch just a little, just enough that she knew she needed to say or do something before he shut down on her completely.

"Are you sure?" She asked, staring at his face, watching his eyes as they flickered back to her. He was watching her too, gauging something before he spoke.

But instead of a quiet agreement or dissent, he simply gave her a short nod.

"If you need another day—"

"No!" She hadn't been prepared for the near shout that erupted, and her hand slapped against her face hard enough that he winced.

"Idiot," he mumbled, his fingers pulling her hand from her face.

"We can go?" She asked again. She wanted to be sure. She wanted to know that he was being honest and not just humoring her.

"If you're ready," he said, letting go of her hand, and she couldn't help the glee that squeaked out of her mouth as she leapt at him, arms wrapping around his neck as she clung to him.

His arms wrapped around her in an instant, no hesitation at all in his movements, and she thrived on that.

"I'm ready! I'm so ready!"

"Are you two quite done?" Miroku shouted from the doorway of the hut.

Inuyasha jerked against her, and she knew that he was embarrassed about being caught hugging her. He always kept it quiet and hidden from everyone else, and she knew that this, someone else seeing them together, would bother him.

Especially when he was already known to be in love with Kikyo.

"I'm going to kill him," Inuyasha muttered.

"Stop it," she chided. "I'm going to help Sango with breakfast," she said, lingering for just a moment before turning away and heading towards the hut.

Clawed fingers quickly wrapped around her own as they walked back together, and she smiled up at his adorably blushing face. Maybe he didn't mind her touching him quite as much as she'd initially thought he did.

Stepping into the small hut, Sango greeted her as she'd put the rice near the fire to cook.

"What can I help with?" She offered, and Sango glanced behind her to Inuyasha.

"A rabbit would be nice."

"On it," he said, darting out of the hut.

"Soo," Miroku drawled from his side of the hut. "You two seemed close."

Sango hurled a cushion at his head with enough force that he was knocked onto his side with a short yelp.

"Shut it, Miroku!" Sango huffed once, and then turned back towards Kagome. "Here, help me with the vegetables." Sango shot a look at Miroku. "Go help Kaede in the garden."

"But—"

"Garden. Now."

"See it's that voice that gives me tingles in my—"

"Miroku!" Sango shouted as she raised the knife currently in her hand. He quickly slipped out the door with a laugh. "I swear, I don't know why I love him half the time."

Kagome hummed, amused by her friends as she worked to peel the carrots with a short paring knife.

"Ugh, Inuyasha needs to sharpen this one," Sango muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"He sharpens Kaede's knives while whenever we're in the village. He must've missed this one."

She stared at the paring knife in her hand. She'd never thought about it, and Kaede's knives were always sharp and ready for use.

"I didn't know that he did that," she mumbled.

"Kaede makes him do it outside the hut because of the noise," Sango shrugged, continuing to work on her own small stack of vegetables.

"How does he do it?"

"I've seen him do it with his claws. He's really good at it."

"Huh," she marveled, looking at the thin blade in front of her. It looked like any normal blade. He had to be quite skilled at the task to make it look so clean and almost new.

Sango took her carrots and began chopping them to put in with the dish.

"Here," Inuyasha said, stepping inside with a freshly cleaned rabbit, ready to dice and put in with the vegetables. Sango took it and began dicing the meat into clean even chunks. "Do I want to know why Miroku is out in the garden with Kaede?"

"Did you ask him?" Sango asked, not bothering to look up.

"He said, 'he was clearing his mind'."

Sango made a disgruntled noise in the back of her throat, and Kagome giggled.

"Miroku was being Miroku," she explained, and Inuyasha rolled his eyes at the sentiment, moving to settle down on a cushion against the wall.

They worked in the quiet for a bit until everything was ready to serve.

"I'll get Kaede and Miroku," Kagome said, starting to rise to her feet, but Inuyasha was already up on his own two feet and heading to the door.

"I got 'em," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand as he passed through the mat. Kagome slipped back to sit on her knees as some loud shouting came from just outside the door. She and Sango shared mutual deadpanned looks between them, as Inuyasha proudly marched back in the hut, reclaiming his original seat cushion.

"You know, Inuyasha," Miroku stated, walking into the hut, but holding the mat aside for Kaede to enter before he let it go. "I've seen you leap shorter distances than what was there."

"Aye, there is no need to wake the entire village with your yowling."

Inuyasha visibly bristled.

"I ain't a cat!" He snapped, and Kagome giggled at him. He huffed, annoyed, grumbling under his breath as he leaned back against the wall.

"How are ye doing, Kagome?" Kaede asked.

"I feel much better!" She chirped, smiling at the older woman. "In fact, we were thinking about heading out on the road."

"We were?" Miroku asked, glancing at her, and then looking at Inuyasha.

Sango didn't make a single comment or even glance in their direction as she continued to prepare breakfast for them.

"And we're all okay with this?" Miroku asked, taking a seat across from Inuyasha.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Kagome asked, looking up at him, but Miroku wasn't looking at her. She glanced back at Inuyasha, trying to see why Miroku was staring at him so intently. But Inuyasha had his eyes closed and hands hidden in his sleeve, so there was honestly nothing to see there.

"Oh nothing, I'm sure. When do you think that you'd like to leave?"

"I just have a few things to pack, and then I can be ready."

"How about after lunch then?" Sango suggested. "That should give us some time to pack up, and make sure that we don't need anything else before we leave."

Kagome nodded in agreement.

"That sounds perfect!"

The conversation quickly shifted with the arrival of Shippo, who scampered under the mat, grinning at the sight of the almost finished breakfast.

He settled in on the cushion beside Inuyasha as Kagome and Sango began to dish out the rice and vegetables. Kagome handed Shippo a bowl and then handed one to Inuyasha before grabbing one herself. She filled her bowl, turning towards where she'd planned on sitting, to see Inuyasha watching her intently, chopsticks completely still in one hand.

"Aren't you going to eat?" She asked, settling back onto her own cushion. Picking up her own pair of chopsticks, she popped a small piece of carrot into her mouth.

He didn't say a word, but began shoveling food into his mouth as his usual choking-hazard speed. She watched him for a moment, chewing slowly, and his eyes darted to her, and he paused in his inhalation of his meal until she looked away and took another bite.

Weird.


Inuyasha was fidgety, so much so that he'd taken to pacing outside and around the hut. Kagome had already packed up her bag, and she'd decided to help Kaede with a few small chores before they left the village.

She knelt beside Kaede in her garden as she picked the leaves off a particular herb, placing them in her basket.

"Inuyasha seems to be in a bad mood," she mentioned casually.

Despite their conversation this morning, it seemed like he was trying his best to avoid her since breakfast.

"Not so much a bad mood, I think," Kaede mused.

"Then what is his problem?"

"I believe it is more nerves than anything else." She picked another passel of leaves, setting them in their shared basket.

"He's nervous?" She asked, but Kaede didn't look up. "Why would he be nervous about leaving?"

"Things are safe here in the village. For the most part at least." She set another bunch of leaves into the basket. "There are many dangers outside the village."

Kagome swallowed.

"I know that," she said, her voice low and quiet. "I know that, but why is Inuyasha so nervous about leaving? I would've thought that he'd be excited about leaving and finding the shards."

Kaede stopped pulling leaves, staring at Kagome.

"What?" She asked, watching her mentor just stare at her, like she couldn't believe what Kagome had just said. "Is there something on my face?"

"No, child," she sighed, with a slight shake of her head. "I believe that this is a conversation best had with Inuyasha himself." Kaede stood to her feet, hands taking the basket from Kagome as she followed.

"Go. Talk to our hanyou," she said, and Kagome nodded, turning away, but Kaede grabbed her wrist. "Remember child, when he feels cornered—afraid—he speaks without thought."

And with that, her mentor walked back towards her hut, leaving Kagome alone in the small field to figure out just what she was trying to get at.


It wasn't hard to find him.

His youki was flaring in spurts, like it would escape him for a brief instant before he tried to settle it back.

But it wasn't like she expected him to be far either.

"Inuya—"

And then he was there in front of her, permanent scowl on his face, inches from her, so close that she didn't even have to reach out to touch him.

"You okay?" She asked, her hand slipping out to touch his. Her fingers slid against his palm, and she felt his fingers curl around her own.

"You?" His voice was rough and curt, but she gave him a small nod. His shoulders slumped a little, relaxing. "That's good," he said after a long moment of silence. He turned and looked at the forest, eyes narrowing as if he was trying to figure out the answer to some riddle that plagued him.

"Do you want to go on a walk?"

"We're gonna be walking the rest of the day. You should be resting."

"I think a short walk would be okay, don't you?" Using her trapped hand, she tugged him towards the trees, and he followed more than willingly. He walked beside her, not relinquishing her hand, and her thumb ran along his knuckles ever so gently in an attempt to soothe him and his upset.

It took them a few minutes, but the flares in his youki settled back into normal, and his face lost the seriousness it bore just a few minutes before.

"You know, if something's bothering you, you can always tell me."

He started, hand jerking ever so slightly, but he didn't pull away.

"Nothing's wrong," he said, before jerking them to a stop, nearly forcing her to turn and face him with a sharp yank of her hand.

"Inuyasha?"

She stepped closer, seeing his jaw flex, the smooth muscle under his skin shifting in the beams of light that broke through the forest floor.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," she insisted, taking a half-step towards him, squeezing his hand slightly, just to remind him that she was there.

"I—" He started, before shaking his head and glaring off into the trees. "We should go back."

"We don't have to."

He made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat but continued moving towards the tree line, not stopping until they reached Kaede's hut.


Kagome was folding up the blankets that she'd borrowed from Kaede, noting Inuyasha sitting up against the wall near the doorway.

Once done, she gathered them up to put them away, opting to help Sango finish up lunch. She was excited to get back out there. Excited to return to a sense of normalcy, but there was a strange undercurrent that ran just under her skin.

Kaede was right about one thing: the village was safe. Everywhere else was not.

And Kagome had learned that lesson well.

She hadn't thought about it too much; she actually tried to not think about it at all, but the errant thought now and then slipped past her defenses and intruded upon her good mood.

She glanced behind her, noting that Inuyasha had claimed his cushion against the wall behind her.

When had he done that?

She stared at him for a moment, but he didn't make any retort or response, and she could tell anything from his face as he let his chin rest against his chest, eyes closed, and arms crossed in front of him.

His eye only cracked open when everyone else sauntered in for their final meal together with Kaede for a while.

"Do ye have a direction in mind?"

Kagome shrugged.

"North, I guess," she said, glancing around the room as she gave Inuyasha his bowl before grabbing her own and settling down on her own cushion. One that he casually reached down to slide over against his so their thighs were clearly touching before he began to dig into his own meal.

Kagome stared at him for a beat, before starting to eat her meal.

"Maybe we'll get lucky and hear a rumor about a shard," Shippo suggested.

"That would be fortunate indeed," Kaede said with a solemn nod. "If ye are heading north, there is a small delivery for a village not too far out of ye's way. If ye would be so kind as to deliver it?"

"Of course! We wouldn't mind at all!"

"Speak for yourself," Inuyasha scoffed, and Kagome smacked his knee lightly.

"We wouldn't mind at all," Kagome repeated as Inuyasha grumbled into his rice.


Kaede gave them the small bundle, handing it off to Miroku and Sango with detailed instructions on where and who to deliver it to. It was only a couple of jars of medicine that contained herbs that grew well in the village and the surrounding area, but not so much farther north.

"It is a couple day's walk from here, on the northern roads," she explained.

Inuyasha stood behind them, arms crossed, glaring at the entrance to the village like it somehow offended him.

"You're sure that you're okay?" She asked him, a hand resting on his forearm.

"I'm fine," he insisted, and she patted his arm lightly.

"Be safe, all of you," Kaede said with a smile. "I will be here waiting for ye's return."

"Of course, you too, Kaede!"

She gave them a slight wave, and they started out of the village, and she could feel Inuyasha's tension growing more and more the closer they moved towards the outer most portion of the rice paddies. He seemed to be a thread that was wound so tightly that he would snap at any moment.

Kagome watched him for a moment before turning her gaze to the road before them.


A/N: So I'm not loving this chapter, probably for two reasons, it's really transitional and I just don't tend to like those as much, and my week's been really rough and I'm thinking that's coloring my opinion a bit. I found out Monday evening that a friend died that morning from a "sudden illness" but that's all we know about it, which is kinda distressing because she was really young to die so suddenly. Also on Monday, I decided to start breaking out into hives from an allergic reaction to what I'm guessing were a new brand of Vitamin D pills. It's gotten better, but I've still got bouts of itchiness (like right now, it's the back of my arms) and the hives are just starting to go away. I'm hoping it'll go away after another day or so.

So it's been a fun week to say the least. I sincerely hope that yours has been better. But in light of all that, because I have a long drive next Thursday, I'm not going to be able to post a chapter next week. I will, however, be posting a new chapter of The Ghost of Higurashi Shrine this Saturday.