Chapter 62
Cetera desunt
"The rest are missing"
"I looked at him like a stranger,
someone I'd never seen before,
and he looked at me like I'd been lost to him
for a thousand years and finally found."
—Dear Rockstar
The first thing that he noted was everything felt calm. All the panic and the fear and that raging need for something that had been driving him mad for so long was just gone. And he wondered briefly how he'd managed to live with it for all that time.
He was laying on something soft, and it smelled nice. It smelled a lot like Kagome.
He drew his arm against it, tugging it closer.
And then the smell of wolf drifted into his nose, making him groan in repulsion. Why was the wolf ruining this perfectly good moment of sleep and peace in his life?
"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, and her breath drifted across his head.
He blinked a few times, struggling to make sense of the scenery. He was in a gully and didn't remember how he'd gotten there. He tried to place why they were here in the first place.
He pushed himself up slowly, and his brain slowly took in information and tried to piece it together with what he knew.
He remembered being on the road, and then—
He stared at her face, which was covered in dirt and grime, and her eyes were red-rimmed from crying. Dark bruise-like half-circles sat under her eyes, making her skin look pale. She was completely soaked through.
When had all this—?
"Inuyasha?" She whispered, obviously staring at him.
"Kagome?" He asked, pulling away a little more, and feeling her arms drag along his shoulders as he did.
And then, he remembered. Kouga!
"Kagome!" He shouted, hands reaching out for her, before seeing them covered in blood all the way up to his forearms.
He stared at them and then at her, noting the wound across her shoulder and the other across her abdomen that looked an awful lot like claw marks.
Recoiling, he scrambled away from from her.
Had he transformed? He didn't remember anything, but his hands and arms were coated in blood.
"How did—Are you—How bad—?" He struggled over the words, swallowed them back down, and she let out a sob, holding her hands out to him.
"It wasn't you!" She shouted at him. "You didn't do this!"
He paused, looking down at his blood-soaked hands, and she reached out to touch them. He jerked away from her, curling his fingers into his palms.
He was covered in blood, so whose blood was it?
"You didn't do this to me," she told him. "You," she emphasized, "didn't do this."
"Then what—"
"The oni," she pointed off to the side, and he saw the large creature laying in pieces.
"I did that?" He asked, and she nodded.
He didn't remember any of that. He didn't remember anything past Kouga arriving in front of them, and then—he brought his hand up to his throat. He remembered feeling like Kouga's claws had practically torn it out, but it felt fine now.
"You're sure that I didn't hurt you?" He asked, and she nodded. "Are you—Are you okay?" He whispered. She nodded, but her lips trembled and he saw her eyes beginning to well up. At that, a sob broke out of her, and his ears flattened against his head.
She held her arms out to him, and he gently pulled her into a hug, being as mindful of his blood covered hands as he could.
"Kagome?" He asked her, pressing his cheek against her head. He needed to know. He needed to know what had happened to her, to him. She smelled so strongly of Kouga, and he swallowed. He needed to know. Even if he really didn't want to know the answer. "Did he—?" Her violent sobbing cut him off, and he found himself unable to voice the rest of the question, opting to draw her closer to his body.
He was going to kill that fucker if he ever saw him again.
How could he just leave her like this? Who knows what the fuck might've happened to her out here all alone? And if he was the one responsible for her injuries, then he wasn't going to stop until he killed Kouga with his own two hands. A low growl erupted from his chest unbidden.
She shook her head violently into his shoulder, clutching him tightly, and his arms held her closer.
She'd sworn it wasn't him. So he would do the only thing he could do for her at the moment. Letting out a long exhale, he tried to relax slightly and let one hand slide up to cup the back of her head to support her.
She trembled in his hold, and he noted that they were both soaked through, though she was colder to the touch than he was. When had it rained this much?
His hand slid through her hair, to press her closer and let her take some of his body heat from him. He couldn't even offer her his haori because it was so thoroughly soaked.
What the fuck had he done while he was transformed?
And where were Sango and Miroku?
A cold concept slunk through his thoughts.
What if he'd hurt them when he transformed?
How close had he come to hurting Kagome?
She wouldn't lie to him about that sort of thing, would she?
As soon as his fingers pressed against the flesh, she hissed and whimpered, pressing herself closer to him and away from his hand. But he'd already felt it, something much thicker and warmer than water.
His hand jerked away, catching on the tangles and snarls in her hair.
"Fuck!" He hissed, trying to remove his hand from her hair, but he already caught sight of the bright red blood on his hand, a sharp contrast to the darker color of the oni's. "Oh, fuck, you're bleeding! How bad is it?!"
Images of her in the woods, with a gaping wound across her head, made his stomach churn. He had to see how bad it was. He needed to get her some sort of help.
He started to pull away from her, but she valiantly clung to his haori.
"Kagome, I need to see how bad this is," he told her, pulling her fingers away from his clothes, even as she scrabbled to grab and hold onto him. "Kagome," his tone was firm, even as she fought him on keeping him close. "Kagome, I'm right here. I need to see how bad this is. I'm not leaving, but you gotta let me take a look at this. Please."
She let him go, slowly pulling away and wrapping her arms around herself instead.
He spotted the darker splotches along the backs of her arms, noting how they were confined to her upper arms only.
He shifted to her side, and she turned her face away from him as she sniffled.
Her entire back was covered in blood, though it was muted now, like the rain had tried to wash it out completely, but failed miserably. It was a lot of blood though, and he fought back the roiling and churning in his gut he got from staring at it for too long.
He gently parted her hair with his claws, trying to see in the thick black strands where—and how badly—she'd been hurt. He didn't know where the next town was or even where they were precisely, but he'd figure it out. He'd find her help. Even if he had to leave her with strangers to get it.
He finally spotted the bleeding wound on her head. It wasn't overly large or deep. She probably wouldn't even need stitches but judging from the way the knot was forming, she'd taken a hard hit to the back of her head.
"Is it bad?" She asked quietly, as he kept looking to make sure that there was nothing else there for him to see.
His eyes drifted to the wound on her shoulder. There were two distinct lines, like something had tried to grab her and then was ripped away suddenly. He leaned forward, sniffing as quietly as he could.
He smelled Kouga at first, but there were trace scents of his own saliva in there too.
But why?
He gently pushed her shirt to the side, trying to see the damage more clearly, and she jerked away from him.
"What're you doing?" She asked, a hand coming up to gingerly cover the wound. A hand he noted, that had deep scratches across it, like someone had swiped at her.
He moved to sit back in front of her. He wanted a look at that shoulder, but the fact that she didn't want him behind her meant that something had happened. Something probably involving a certain wolf.
He needed to know, and he didn't want to know.
"Looks like you took a pretty good hit back there. Probably knocked you out for a bit, huh?" He asked, reaching towards her shoulder again. This time, she let him look. "That's going to need some stitches. Do you know where Sango and Miroku are?" He looked around, eyes alighting back on the oni that was in pieces nearby.
"I don't know," she whispered as she reached her hand out to grab his, blood covered and all. "You're the only—" she sniffed. "I don't know where they are."
His fingers curled around hers, and she let out a small sob.
"Kouga," he started, and she clamped her eyes closed. "Did he—did he—did he try—?" He swallowed back the bile in his throat.
Kagome shook her head, but those claw marks across her abdomen screamed at him. If he hadn't done that, then the only other option was Kouga.
"No, he—well, he tried, but—" Her voice broke off as she stumbled over the words, and his fingers clutched onto hers as he snarled at the thought, the insinuation that Kouga would try anything. "I hurt him."
He'd tried?
Tried?
Inuyasha was going to fucking try to not hunt the bastard down right now.
He didn't even care what it took for her to get away, because whatever he decided to do him was going to be a hundredfold worse than what he'd already gotten.
"Good! Fucker deserved it!"
She shook her head.
"I can smell him all over you! He had no right, Kagome!"
"It wasn't his fault!"
"The fuck it wasn't! He dragged you out here, tried to—tried to kill you, and then—then fucking abandoned you!"
"No, there was something wrong! Something was wrong with his shards. It was like they were corrupting him or something," she shouted, still sniffling and holding onto his hand. "He tried to help me get away. I just—I wasn't fast enough." She stared at their hands, at her hands. "I almost killed him." Her voice grew smaller the longer she spoke.
At that, she lost all control of her emotions and broke down into hysterical sobs. Whatever had been holding her together failed completely, and the words she attempted to speak came out no louder than frantic mumblings between loud sobs that racked her entire frame.
His arms circled around her again, trying to help her calm down.
"You're alive," he whispered. "That's all that matters."
"I thought I'd killed him! It was so—so—bad!" Her fingers clutched onto his sleeves. "I don't even know why I did it, but he was just laying there! I thought he was dead! I just wanted him to stop! I didn't mean to hurt him that bad! I tried—I tried so hard!"
"Kagome, stop," he chided, as she buried her face into his chest and cried.
"I don't want to hurt anyone else!"
This wasn't helping. His ears pinned back as she cried into him, and he'd sworn that he'd take care of her. This wasn't taking care of her.
"Kagome," he started, holding her tightly to him. "You're alive. You did what you had to. I'm—I'm sure he gets it. Weird ass fucker probably enjoyed it."
Kagome shuddered what he hoped was a small laugh.
"Look, we'll—we'll figure it out, okay? But first, we need to find the others, and get you some help."
And figure out where the fuck they were, but that was secondary.
"How long has it been since you've seen them?" He asked. That would give him some idea of where to go and how far.
"At least a day. Maybe more?"
"You don't know?" He asked, glancing down at her before looking to the trees around them.
Shit.
Shit. This was bad.
"No, I was—out of it for a little while."
What the fuck did that mean? His confusion must have been evident on his face, because all it took was a glance up at him for her to continue.
"Kouga sorta threw me, and I kinda blacked out." Her sentence ended in a whisper.
"He did what?! Doesn't he know that you're human?!" He snarled out, volume crescendoing among the trees, almost echoing back at him in the river gully. "Is that why the back of your head is bleeding? That motherfucker! I'm gonna—!"
"Inuyasha! Please," she begged, and he resorted to growling out his frustrations and future murder plans of a certain wolf prince, who was definitely dead meat the next time Inuyasha saw his face.
He'd make sure that Kouga's line stopped with him—through death or dismemberment, he didn't care.
But first things first, Kagome—Kagome always came first—needed help, and he could get that for her. He couldn't take back what had happened—what he had let happen—but he could get her help and the attention that she needed.
She needed to get warm, but he didn't have anything that was dry. He shrugged off his haori anyway. It was thicker than her clothing and would help keep the wind at bay when they started moving.
He carefully laid it over her shoulders, trying to be mindful of her injury, but he was sure that he touched it at one point, if the wince was any indication.
She didn't even argue with him about wearing it, opting to clutch it closed in front of her chest.
He couldn't help himself. He drew her in for another hug. Just for a moment. It wouldn't hurt anything—it wasn't like they could get any more lost—and from the way that she clutched at his shirt, she needed it too.
How close had he been to losing her?
How close had he been to showing up too late?
He buried his nose into her hair, searching for that trace of scent that wasn't violated by wolf or blood.
But fuck—she smelled like wolf all over.
He didn't like it.
He let his lips rest on the crown of her head for a long moment, and that would have to be close enough for now. It was as close as he'd let himself be for the moment.
She was here. He was here. He would take care of her. He would always take care of her.
"Hey," he murmured into her hair, "you okay if I carry you?"
She nodded into his chest, and he took a brief moment to hold her before pulling away from her.
He moved slowly and carefully, because she was letting him carry her. She was letting him touch her. Maybe it was because Sango wasn't here to help, but he wasn't going to complain or make note of it. But she was letting him touch her, comfort her, and he was thankful for it. The idea of being separated from her again—like before—was just gut-wrenchingly awful. He just wanted to be close to her, and stay as close as she would let him be.
Taking a moment to let her object to anything, he picked her up carefully from the ground, trying his best to be mindful of her abdomen and her shoulder. She twisted towards him as he shifted his grip on her legs and back. Taking a breath, he leapt up into the trees, trying to get a lay of the land in order to better tell where the hell they were.
"You okay?" He asked, once they were at the top, and he was balanced on a high branch.
A quiet nod was all he got in reply.
Now, which way to go?
His eyes scanned the sky trying to get an idea of which direction that their group might've gone.
Either that or a town. She needed someone to take a look at her.
He let out a soft sigh as he stared out with no sign of Kirara in the sky. Odds are though they haven't taken off just yet from the storm that had clearly just finished rolling through.
He leapt down easily enough before taking off running in a direction. He'd run for a bit before checking the skies again, just in case. It was worth trying.
The ground under his feet was soft and muddy as he ran, leaping across small streams and ponds that were engorged from heavy rain.
She pressed her face into his shoulder as he ran, and he slowed a bit so the wind wasn't so harsh on her damp clothes.
He leapt up into the sky trying to find some sort of sign of Kirara or the others, but the longer he went without seeing them, the more he became convinced that their disappearance was somehow his fault.
If he'd hurt them—
He'd lose everything; he'd lose Kagome.
The thought of that made the whine in his throat break free for just a moment, but the sound was swallowed up by the wind around them as he ran, one foot in front of the other.
It was the third time of leaping into the trees that gave him some modicum of hope. He saw a blip on the horizon, but it was too far to make out what it was. He'd been running for a while, and the clouds were beginning to roll in again, darkening the sky overhead. They would need to find somewhere to camp, but he couldn't deny that there was a part of him that hoped it was in fact Kirara and the others.
He leapt down to the earth, which had begun to dry in the brief amount of sun that broke through the clouds in spurts. He ran towards the little spot he'd seen and hoped against all other things working against him that it was in fact their friends and that they were unharmed and just lost.
"What is it?" Kagome asked, clearly noticing the speed and urgency in his step.
"I think I see Kirara," he answered, leaping over a swollen river to the other side.
"Really?" Kagome asked, turning her head to look at the sky, and he tried not to be offended by it.
He was excited at seeing them too, especially if they were unhurt, but something about Kagome being excited to see someone other than himself was—upsetting?—though he couldn't quite place the emotion.
He continued to run, trying to catch up to—what he hoped—was the flying cat in the sky, and his feet laid down a clear beat as they struck the earth beneath him.
Leaping up into the treetops again, he noted that they were closer, but still too far off. Taking a deep breath, he bellowed out Kirara's name, hoping that she was close enough to hear him.
"Did they hear you?" Kagome asked, and he strained his ears forward in an attempt to hear something from them.
"Dunno," he answered. "I can't tell."
He looked up at the sky, which was already starting to darken considerably. They'd land soon to find a place to ride out the storm, if they were smart. Then again, they were all idiots that would risk their lives flying around with lightning flashing looking for them.
"If they didn't, we'll have to try and catch up when they make camp."
"How're you doing?" She asked him, drawing his focus away from the potential fire cat in the distance.
"Fine," he answered, flicking his eyes back to the horizon. He was tired, exhausted really, and he just wanted to take a nap. Maybe eat something. He just wanted to rest and remain curled around her body while he did.
"You've been running for a while," she started.
"We're too close to stop."
"But—"
"I'll rest when we catch up."
The dot didn't look like it was getting smaller though. If anything, it looked like it had stopped moving. It was something to hope for.
He called out to her again, hoping that it was Kirara, because he wasn't in the mood for a fight. Not without Tetsusaiga, and not because he didn't think that he wouldn't win, but Kagome was injured, and she needed to be safe.
He would hide. If worse came to worse, he would hide and keep her safe. His pride was worth that.
He didn't want to risk changing and harming her in his feral state.
The dot shifted a little, before it started moving again.
"Is it them?" She asked, and he shifted his grip a little as he stared.
"Dunno," he muttered. "They're too far away to see." He squinted as if that made any real difference.
A familiar—albeit distant—roar reached his ears, and he felt himself slump in relief.
"It's them?" She asked, turning to look at his face.
"Yeah, that's Kirara!"
His eyes scanned the forest floor, searching for a place where they could land and figure out a place to rest for the night.
Especially since he could not only smell but feel the impending rain in the air.
There was a small clearing not too far from here where they could at least land without interference. He leapt a few trees over before dropping down onto the earth below.
He set Kagome down, and she whimpered the moment her feet hit the ground.
"What is it?" He asked, and she pointed down at her foot she was holding up.
He helped her sit and grabbed her calf, pulling her leg out to look at it. Her ankle was bruised and swollen, looking nearly black at the worst part.
"I don't think it's broken," she offered, and he huffed.
"No shit. You're not walking on that," he said, pointing at it. He could hear Kirara behind him and he glanced over as she landed.
"Kagome!" Sango shouted, leaping off Kirara's back before she'd even fully touched down on the ground.
"Inuyasha!" Miroku shouted, leaping off after her, holding tightly onto Tetsusaiga.
"Kagome!" Shippo cried, holding onto Kirara's fur and staring at them, his small eyes darted to and fro between them.
Miroku came to a skidding halt, staring at him in what he could only call utter shock.
"You're back!"
Inuyasha held his hand out for the sword.
"How did you change back without Tetsusaiga?" Sango asked as she knelt down beside Kagome. "Are you hurt?" She took Kagome's face into her hands, turning it slightly to look at it.
"Her ankle's shit," he commented, taking the sword from Miroku, tucking it safely into his belt. "And her shoulder needs some stitches."
Sango leaned forward to wrap her arms around Kagome.
"It's a relief to see you both," Miroku said, resting a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder. "We've been searching for you two for days now."
Inuyasha flinched.
"Days?" He asked, looking to Kagome, who was now being thoroughly examined by Sango. He shook his head, trying to focus on what mattered. "It's going to rain soon. We need to find shelter."
"There were some caves not too far from here," Miroku offered. "There were a couple that could accommodate us all. Are you good to make the trip?"
"I'll be fine," he said, looking down at Kagome. "You lead the way."
He knelt down beside her, and she reached out for him, one arm sliding around his neck and her other hand gripping his shirt as he carefully lifted her up.
"It might be easier if you want to ride Kirara," Sango offered, standing up with them.
Kagome shook her head, fists clenching the fabric of his shirt between her fingers.
"I've got her," he said. "We need to go."
Thunder rolled overhead, and all of them turned their heads upwards to look at the sky.
"On that note," Miroku offered, and both of them hopped up on Kirara.
"Let's go, Kirara," Sango said with a glance back at them as Kirara carried them up to the sky.
He took a quick breath before following them on the ground.
A/N: So I completely forgot that today was Thursday, and I apologize. I actually meant to post this earlier and then got caught up in things, you know how it is.
I hope that you enjoyed Inuyasha's POV for this chapter! It was a little weird writing this one because there was no stressful build up so there couldn't be this giant release of tension like we usually see, but I do think that this came across well enough.
Let me know what you think!
